The world keeps spinning, life keeps moving forward, and if we could time travel, we might find the future is a repeat of the past. Who knows where our path takes us — and why?  Do we have choices or is the path laid from the time we are conceived?

I’ve always liked to believe I had choices. I still believe that…not too much in matters of death and aging, although I believe we have some choices in the way we percieve health and longevity…but many people believe in fate or destiny as the be all, end all.

At times I have focused all my energy on attaining a certain goal and eventually, most of those I put a lot of mental energy into have happened.  On that note, I’m very selective about what I visualize, keeping things to a general instead of a specific. Be careful what you wish for is one saying I put a lot of stock in. Note to self to concentrate harder because that 40M I’ve been expecting for the last 10 years hasn’t shown up yet!

A year ago in November I found myself without any monthly income other than social security retirement. I could pay my bills on what I get but I can’t afford to eat or put gas in the Jeep.  Dan, my son, has a job and he’s helped with everything but the point is that he may move back to Vegas or somewhere else in the future and I need to be able to take care of myself.

I started intermittently job searching.  I wasn’t sure I could ‘tote that barge and lift that bale’ for eight hours a day or stand to stand or sit at a desk for eight hours a day. Ideally, I would have accepted four hours a day five days a week if I had to do any of the above. I even thought about nanny positions for one child under five years.  But that has too many pitfalls and gets expensive because the pay for this area is around $10 an hour, everyone wants you to have a car and drive to their home, some of them want you to to drop off and pick their kids up from school, clean house, cook, do laundry, and most ask if you are comfortable with animals – do they mean their kids or dogs, cats, etc.?

One of the jobs I checked out was 10 hours a day, four days a week, continual on your feet and hustling moving and sorting items for minimum wage.  OUCH!

Then for some crazy reason I decided I would apply to deal poker at the only casino in my area that has poker.  It’s a little three table room right at the end of the BJ pit so I guess that makes it a poker pit.

More later…