Going into an $8-$16 limit holdem, the dealer informed me that the 7 seat was ‘tipsy’ and exposing his hole cards to the players on each side of him…the other players had already complained.

First the 7 seat was very jovial and fun with me. Wanted to know if he could blind raise it out of the small blind…I told him, “Absolutely!” He did.

A couple of times (at the beginning of a hand), I jokingly said, “Don’t let anyone else see your cards.” All was well and good.

About five hands later, he picked his cards up, leaned back in his chair, showed them to the ‘sweater’ behind the player next to him and sort of did a fan wave with them so three other players could see his cards.

The player on my left started with a “there he goes again” thing and I looked at ‘tipsy’ and said, “Sir.”

He ignored me.

I tried again, “Sir.”

Still he ignored me so I leaned over the table, extending my hand to him, face down on the table, (not pointing), and said loudly, “SIR!”

He finally looked at me, I said, “Honey, you can’t show your cards to the people on your end of the table.”

His face changed. The easy going, I’m the center of attention, happy faced player instantly went to snarling ugly and he yelled at me, “YOU’RE RUDE! I DON’T LIKE YOU!”

I said, “Be that as it may, you still can’t keep showing your cards.”

He yelled at me again, “YOU’RE RUDE!”

I said, “Sir, I am anything but rude and please stop showing your cards.”

He said, “You can’t talk to me like that and I don’t care what they (meaning the other players) want!”

I called the floor man while ‘tipsy’ began throwing his chips into racks and continued, “Steve Wynn is a personal friend of mine and I’m going to call him and have you’re ass fired!”

Just as the floor man arrived, I said, “Call him!”

The floor man settled everything – telling ‘tipsy’ it was time to go. ‘Tipsy’ calmed right down before he got to the shift supervisor and was almost apologetic.

The whole table laughed…we all wondered if ‘tipsy’ and Steve were such good friends, why Steve forgot to tell ‘tipsy’ that he was no longer involved with MGM/Mirage Properties?

Can you believe it? Mike D. AKA Israeli Mike, has thrown cards at every dealer in the house…not just Bellagio, the Mirage included. He’s been bounced for a 24 hour period from time to time but always comes right back.

He was told to leave for the night for throwing cards…not because he threw them at a dealer – for throwing them at another player.

Clapping – laughter – guffaws! A player’s chest is taboo but a dealer’s must have the red bulls-eye painted on it.

Sat down to deal a $30-$60 Stud game…it was short handed. Norman, in the 4 seat, a player I’ve dealt to for years, said, “Turkey day tomorrow!”

I asked, “Are you cooking?”

Reply, “I’m not even carving. I’m a vegetarian. I stay home and meditate to “feel” the turkey. It’s a day of murder!”

Well, there you have it folks. Enjoy that bird.

I slept thru the day, showered and went to work…I didn’t cook or carve either. Happy Thanksgiving.

Dealt a $300-600 mixed game. The game was full – eight players. One player in particular stayed in my thoughts after I left the table. Sam Grizzle. He won a pot in 7 Stud 8 or Better that was huge and he was the underdog, with three way action and max raises all the way to the River. Of course he gloated and bragged about being the best player while he stacked chips for five minutes.

I’ve dealt to him for at least 10 years off and on. He comes and goes, always brags about how good he plays and how everyone’s afraid to play him ‘heads up’ but he’s always broke and always looking for someone to stake him. Strange that he’s always broke? No, what’s really strange is that he always talks someone into staking him in a high limit game. Twisted!

The reason he stayed in my thoughts? He’s the only player that I ever knowingly allowed to put more chips in the pot than he was supposed to and I never corrected him.

Oh come on…you may think that tarnishes me as a professional but you would have to have been there to appreciate the whole effect. He verbally berates and abuses everyone except the person he’s shining up to for a stake in a game. He was unbearably offensive until he was 86’d from the Mirage about four years ago and wasn’t allowed to play on Mirage Resort Properties for two years.

Now? Noisy, irritating, mildly amusing in a sick way, and still looking for someone to stake him…but back to the meat of the story.

Approximately five years ago, I sat down to deal $200 – 400 Holdem and $300 – 600 Stud, the game changed every eight hands and it was ‘heads up’. One of the players was, of course, the subject of this writing.

As soon as my tush hit the chair, Sam started in with, “Bet you can’t deal this down without saying a word. Bet you can’t just shut up and deal. Dealers always think they have to say something. They can’t just shut their mouths.” etc., etc., etc.

I didn’t say a word, shuffled up and dealt the last few hands of stud. The game changed to Holdem and with the change, the limit also changed. The 1st hand out, he bet $300 on the Flop – should have been $200. On the Turn, he bet $600 – should have been $400. He got raised and then threw his hand away.

For some reason on the next hand, the bet was in order and nothing was ever said about the bet on the previous hand.

I knew he put too much money in the pot…I didn’t feel that I was getting even with him or punishing him. Under any other circumstance, I would have straightened out the bet, regardless of who the player is or my personal feeling about them.

He’s always so determined to put everyone in their place and categorize the world into a little caste system that makes him feel superior…so be it!

I came into work and it was so dead that there were “little deads” hanging in the air and slipping into my nostrils as I breathed, hanging off of each hair on my head, and trying to slide into my mouth if I opened it to speak.

I hate it when it’s like this. I could either sit dead spreads, take breaks, or choose to play. I picked the last one.

I can’t remember winning more than two pots in eight hours. Flopped two sets, they got beat, AA got beat by A-7, etc., etc., etc.

Then the worst of all situations happened…the worst dealer in the world sat down in the box. Please don’t think it’s because he/she didn’t deal me a hand. I’m used to sitting for three to four hours and never picking up a playable hand, let alone a winning hand.

You might be asking yourself what the criteria is for being the ‘worst dealer in the world’.

My description: Our game is short handed and has been for two hours…there are two other tables running of the same limit and we have the least amount of players. The Worst Dealer, (shortened from here on out to WD), sits down in the game.

Immediately the game slows down, shuffle, hand delivery, etc., drops by at least one half the speed the game was running before. We must be putting the WD out by expecting a quality job here…obviously we’re interrupting the WD and expecting him/her to do his/her job.

Two new players are seated in our game by the brush person…one is in the big blind position and the other right behind the button. Even though the brush is bringing their chips and has announced what they have ‘behind’…the WD never even asks them if they’d like to post or take the blind, just deals them right out.

The next hand, the new player behind the button asks the WD if he/she thinks he should post. The WD replies, “I cannot answer any question like that.” I answered it. I told the new player that had he posted on the previous hand, it would have been to his advantage but now it would be better to wait for the big blind since we were short a player anyway.

The next hand finds the button in the seat to my left; he’s a newcomer/tourist that’s standing up, talking to a friend of his and is not more than one foot from his chair. The WD deals him out, even though it’s his button and when the player turns around and asks, “You dealt me out?”

The WD states, “I did not see you sitting your chair.”

Throughout his/her whole down, the WD made it a point to deal as slowly as possible, never is cooperative or even acts like he/she cared if the game went for another minute.

This dealer is a playing dealer which should make him/her a better dealer but unfortunately this is not the case.

It’s truly a bitch…playing in a game and watching people you work with try to make the game as bad as possible. To ask a question as to why/how/what were they thinking would be rhetorical.

I can only tell all of you that play and have never dealt…I apologize for the dealers that think you owe them something because they push you a pot.

Dealt a friendly little, jammin’ $4-$8 Texas holdem game…a lady named Rosie was in the 6 seat. When I first sat down, she said, “They claim that poker makes no money for the casino.”

I said, “Pretty much true!”

She said emphatically, “They’s lyin’, they’s lyin’, they’s lyin’!”

I couldn’t help but chuckle a little over her reaction. Then she won a pot. As she stacked, she looked at me and asked, “Do you think you deserve a tip?”

I knew she was messing with me…I said, “A tip should be given because you feel I do my job well not because I pushed you a pot and not because you feel you have to tip.”

She chuckled and said, “Then I won’t tip you.”

I just kept dealing, a few minutes later she threw me some blue chips, I thanked her and the game went on. She was tired and feigned sleep during each hand. I prompted her just before the action got to her in each new hand. Each time she folded and closed her eyes again.

The last hand I dealt, she won a big pot. As I was leaving the dealer’s box, she asked, “Do you think you deserve a tip?”

I replied, “Hell yes, I had to wake you up every hand!”

She started laughing and threw me more blues.

The following night, I got out of work early and played in a game that she was in. She tried to match make a date for me with every guy at the table. When I told her I was happy being single, she said she’d be looking if she was me and that she was married and she was still looking.

She was a fireball and lots of fun. Every time I revealed anything personal about myself, such as: I play poker, drink a beer, have children, have been married, have grandchildren…she exclaimed, “You’ve got to be kidding! You look like a little Barbie Doll that sits on a shelf.”

To which I can only say, “Thank you, Rosie! You’re certainly fun to deal to and play poker with!”