Last night was a turning point for me in dealing ‘the big game’. First a little background on my personality…sure…as if you didn’t already have an idea of what I’m like but here it is:

Some years ago a person I loved very much owed me quite a bit of money and couldn’t find it in his heart or thoughts to help me out when I returned from Mississippi and was waiting for re-hire at the Mirage – Treasure Island had just closed their poker room and the dealers in that room had priority to move back to the Mirage before anyone else would be considered. My finances sucked – as in I had almost nothing left after the move back and getting settled. I worked the Gold Coast Open Tournament on swing and the Sahara poker room by day just stretching to make ends meet and recoup some cash.

The person I loved had a job. So did his wife. It was horribly painful for me that neither one of them offered me any help or even considered paying me any of the money owed when they both knew I was in a bind. Actually it made me quite angry.

One day I composed a handwritten note and delivered it to the person I loved. It went something like this:

***As of today, you no longer owe me any money. The debt is cancelled. I’m not doing it for you or to help you out. I’m doing it for myself. I don’t want to be upset with you when I see you or feel angry.***

There was more to the note because the person I loved and still love, is one of my sons. But as soon as I released what caused me anguish, I was ‘all better’. It was over with.

Of course the question of what does this have to do with ‘the big game’ must be a wrinkle in the brain by now.

It has everything to do with dealing $2,000-4,000 and higher to the same group of players day after day. And of course…it’s about tipping…money.

No one…no living dealer that I know of likes to deal high limit. There’s no reason to like to deal it – the general run of the game is very little of anything trickles into a dealer’s pocket. The only advantage to being a good dealer is they don’t bite your head off or even notice you when you’re in the dealer’s box…you’re just an automated body that’s supposed to perform a function.

Last night I cruised through the game and managed to receive two $1 chips as I pushed out of the Dealer’s Box. I’m not sure why but for some reason it really bothered me. Truthfully, I would rather have received -0- than to receive that. It’s embarrassing to think that that amount of money flows across the table, hour after hour, and the dealer is given less than a 1 cent toke for a half hour of service in comparison to the size of the chips and pots being pushed. While I don’t believe they are obligated to load the dealer’s pocket with chips, I do believe that tipping is part of the job and that’s why we are there.

I have devised a plan to save myself. I don’t want to feel angry or irritated over not receiving a gratuity when I deal that game. The plan: I’m searching for a worthwhile charity, like a children’s fund or a woman’s shelter or one that I feel committed to, and I will put the money I make each month – from that limit and higher – into that charity. One person that plays that limit, always takes care of me when I deal to him…I help him with projects away from poker so I’m going to exclude him from the chairty fund. Hey…I have to have a little bread too!

I’m releasing myself from expectation and frustration. I just wish I’d thought of it a few years ago. It would have been so much easier. And yes…if one of them threw me a $1,000 chip, it’s going into the charity fund too but then Hell would freeze over on that day and life as we know it would cease to exist.

I’ve released myself…damn! I feel all better now.