Last week I jumped into a $300-$600 Mixed game on Table 2.  E-dog, Eric L., was in the 1s.  We exchanged hellos and I asked him if he was going to Aruba for the Ultimate Bet/WPT tournament the end of the September.  He said he didn’t think so.  My statement was that he has to go, he has to defend his title from last year.  He said he’d just returned from the Aviation Club de France where the casino was robbed at ‘shot gun’ point while he was playing poker.

Ugh!!!!  Frightening to say the least but he said it appeared that they weren’t going to get hurt as long as everyone cooperated.  Another fear on his part; the Police might be outside and the bandits might cause an exchange of gunfire trying to leave.  Still another point, after the robbery attempt (not sure if it failed or succeeded), the Police wouldn’t let them leave the casino and they had a flight to catch.

He did finally agree that in Aruba, the cash in and out for tournaments is handled through the Ultimate Bet account so it’s not as dangerous as having mass amounts of money in one place.

The strange side of dealing.  Deuce to 7 Triple Draw, Eric was the button and heads-up with Jim, the Small Blind.  They went to war with raises.  On the final draw, I burned, Jim’s first card popped face up off the deck onto the table (the Card Fairy must have been at work here).  I’d never had this happen before and had no idea what to do.

I called for a decision, Carmen came over, after a moment of discussion Jim and Eric were decisive on what should be done and Nate happened to walk by to cement the rule.  Jim wanted two cards and Eric wanted one.  Jim’s card was not a wheel card which changes everything, if it was, he would have kept his card, even though it was exposed.

Jim received the second card and Eric received the third, Jim then got his last card.

*****

A few hours later in a $15-$30 Holdem game, I watched the strangest play I believe I’ve ever seen in a limit over $4-$8.  The 1s was the Button.  Everyone between the Big Blind and the Button folded.   The Button raised, the Small Blind (in the 2s) called $20 more, the Big Blind Folded leaving heads-up play.

The Flop was 6-6-2.  The Small Blind checked, the Button bet, the Small Blind called.  The Turn was a 6.  The Small Blind checked, the Button bet, the Small Blind called.  The River was a 7.  The Small Blind checked, the Button bet, the Small Blind called.  The Button turned over K-10 Off and the Small Blind turned over 7-8 off.

WHAT THE HELL?

I almost fell out of my chair.  What does the 2s know that the rest of us wish we knew…maybe the damn Card Fairy’s at work again…

I’m on a run with readers of this page.  Mark H. was in town and I finally dealt to him.  He played the $2-$5 Blind NLH game and it was non-stop chuckle and noise from all the boys at the table.  Mark went all-in and won the pot.  He threw me a toke and said, “That’s not for the pot, Linda, that’s for bringing them off smooth and slow.” 

We both laughed.  It’s always great to see him at the table.

Justin and Ramsey were in town.  They made the trip with (I think it was) five or six other guys and they were all interconnecting at the tables, drinking a lot, and having more than their share of fun.  Ramsey promised me a trip report but time will tell on that one.  He also promised to go hiking with me one early a.m. but as luck would have it, his hand kept feeding him alcohol and he couldn’t make it.  We made another hiking date for the next time he’s in town…it’s better that way, the heat is unbearable in Vegas right now and even early a.m., it’s on the scale of Hell’s Fires magnified by five zillion as far as this night owl’s concerned.

Steve from Milwaukee sent me an email a week ago and said he’d be in town, sure enough, I welcomed a new player into a $4-$8 game and he introduced himself.  It was fun. 

I hit a $15-$30 Holdem game late in the night.  The 1s was friendly and a little chatty, the game was pretty decent, and the 4s asked if I was ‘the Linda’.  His name is Jeff…another Tango reader.  By the time I left the down, the 1s introduced himself, Louie from Boston, and he had one of my cards so he could visit this page. 

Tyler was in the room, we met about a year ago from his reading Tango, and he was finishing his play at the $2-$5 NLH game as I was finishing work.  We got a chance to visit and since he was heading out the door and needed a cab to get back to the ‘Shoe’, I gave him a ride.  We got to really visit for a change, instead of his just passing by a game I’m dealing and saying, “Hi.” 

It’s always fun to meet people that know me through my writing.  Obviously they understand a little more about me than the ‘Dealer Shirt’ point of view because they read my strange mental wanderings…so far, none of them have mentioned the fact that I should be committed.  Whew!

*****

Tonight, I dealt to the guy from Table 30, $2-$5 NLH on yesterday’s post…the guy that had the gorgeous girlfriend and he made all the noise. 

When I walked up to Table 11, he was in the 3s, with his girl behind him, and they both looked up and gave me the extremely friendly, “Hello, Linda!” 

We chuckled, while I dealt, about the game the night before.  I finally asked his name because he was so busy chatting and being the star of the show that it was hard to get his attention.  Palo.  He ended up being moved the Main Game during my down and the game quieted right down after he left. 

During this down, I ran into one of those classic happenings that just aren’t normal.  A new player sat down in the 1s.  He posted the Big Blind.  He’d given $200 to the Chip runner and we were waiting for his chips to be delivered as he got involved in the next four hands.  For some reason, this time of night on swing shift, we have one Cashier and the line is a mile long with player’s cashing out and buying chips and Chrip Runners doing Fills and Player’s Chips.   

After the first hand, the 1s owed the 9s $5.  Second hand, the 1s owed the 8s $2.  The third hand, the 1s owed the 10s $20.   Then the real corker rolled in…the 1s ended up all-in with the 6s.  GOD!  Palo was still at the table and gave the 1s two stacks when we realized the 1s was never going to get his chips in time to save me from the dreaded ‘math blues’.  Everyone got paid what was owed, the rest went into the middle and to make it all very easy, just as the Chip Runner arrived with the chips, the 1s won the pot. 

You’re right, $27 subtracted from $200 is pretty easy to figure, but what if the 1s lost that hand?  Then threw out two more $100 bills and I had to keep track of all of it along with the fact that my table bank had nothing left in it as I was waiting for a fill also…add the fact that the 1s might just be a steamer and jam up the next hand…and on and on and on!  Damn it!  I love poker and all its little twists and turns. 

If you have any NLH skills, you’re really missing the boat if you’re not playing the $2-$5 Blind game at Bellagio.  You have to see it to believe it!

All kinds of things coming up on the horizon…my little girlfriend, Kayanna, is arriving on Friday.  I will be at the airport anxiously awaiting her sweet, little girl face to appear from the deboarding gate and the spark in her eyes when she sees me and exclaims, “Grandma!” 
 
We get to go SHOPPING for little girl things and our annual camping trip to Idaho for the Family Reunion.  I will, once again, be refreshed by the child’s view of life and the simplicity in which they perceive everything.  It’s like being in a chilled vacuum for an eon of time and one day you submerge into a beautiful pool of thoughts, emotions, sights, and sounds that rejuvenate your soul.  They just love you…without any barriers.  Ahhhh, a month of bliss.
 
Before I fall into the sweetness of sublime existence, there are still poker games leaping and hopping  through my thoughts.
 
My second game was $30-$60 Holdem, a couple of locals but mostly new faces.  The 6s (an occasional player) wasn’t happy.  His attitude didn’t improve during my down.  At one point, he was in the big blind and called down to the River, he flipped his cards in and they lit on my arm.  I turned them over when I moved my arm.  He did an indignant, “Why did you turn my cards over?”
 
“I moved my arm.”
 
“You turned my cards over.”
 
The hand was over, the pot was pushed, and I set two cards back on my arm and went through the routine.  “They were on my arm, I moved my arm and they turned up.”
 
“Don’t turn my cards over!”
 
“Don’t put your cards on my body and they won’t be turned over.”
 
He semi-settled down but played through a few more hands and kept shooting his cards into the rack.  If my hands had been on the table, he would’ve nailed me.  The third time he did it, I bluntly said, “Just set your cards down here,” as I indicated a spot a few inches from his fingers. 
 
He stopped being a total idiot after that.  When the Blind came to him again, he took a walk.  It was a horrible game.  Very little action and I can’t say as I blame him for not wanting to get stuck in it.  You’d almost need a mask and a gun to get your money back from those guys.
 
*****
 
I dealt two of the NLH $2-$5 Blind games.  For the most part, those games are wild as hell.  It’s a bunch of kids playing shoot out and they whoop and holler as they’re doing it…that includes drinking and doing ‘shooters’. 
 
I ended up laughing through most of the first one…one of the players couldn’t quit saying “fuck”.  I cautioned him on it several times and finally had him and the table laughing but the word is so ingrained in his thoughts that it kept popping out. 
 
I even told him at one point that he “appeared to be cleancut, good looking, intelligent, and have a good command of the English language.”
 
He roared and told me that looks were really deceiving.  When I left the game, he said, “Have a good fucking night, girl!”
 
I smacked him on the back and replied, “I learned to swear after I started dealing poker.”
 
They all liked that one.
 
A few hours later, when I dealt the 2nd one, the kid that used Fuck as a second language, was still in the same seat.  That game was back to back with the one I was in.  Both tables were kibitzing and laughing back and forth.   I got an over exaggerated, “Fuck!”  from the same kid at the other table. 
 
I exclaimed, “Hey Potty Mouth!”  That was a hooter for both tables.
 
If I thought the previous game was a riot, this one was madcap insanity caused mainly by the 1s.  He was shit talking his girl friend for her attitude when he looked at another woman and she walked up on the rail.  She was gorgeous, even by Vegas standards and its world of “plastic magic”.  He thought she heard him…she didn’t…but he almost threw himself on the table with, “Busted!” 
 
He jumped up to talk to her, he wanted to keep hopping over the rail so he could smoke a cigarette, he wanted to hop over the rail to talk to her, in general he was like a young bull and wanted to hop the fence for any reason.  He was also funny, animated, attractive, and very likeable.
 
I caught her eye and asked her to come in and join us.  He went with it, “Come on, Honey.  Come in here.”
 
She hung back, behind the edge of the drape, and he started, “Come on guys, help me with this…”  They all hooted and cheered for her to come in.  He continued, “I may propose if I win the next pot…” 
 
No one was quiet or orderly.  The game was mass conufsion and I will admit that I was right there with them.
 
The girlfriend finally came in and sat behind him for a few minutes.  He kept pestering, “Can I just lean over the rail to smoke.”
 
“Hell no!  Then you’d come back and blow your smoke in my face.”
 
“No, I’d exhale out there before I sat back down.” 
 
Lots of laughter.
 
I told him the Rail Jumping Police would catch him if he bailed over the rail again.  He asked me if I thought he should ask the Floor Person if he could just lean over the rail and smoke. 
 
I almost died laughing.  I said, “Sure, go ahead.”
 
He asked, “He’d tell me hell no, wouldn’t he?”
 
I said, “You guessed it, but go ahead and try if you want.”
 
It was my last down.  While I love their insanity, I love to leave it behind…which is just what I did.   Hello Time Clock!
 

A little $100-$200 Mixed game on Table 2 ended up being a typical example of how things go awry in a poker game. Odd as it may seem, it’s not the person that lost the hand that throws a wrench in the works. The game was six handed and the game was Deuce to 7. The 1s and the 4s were heads-up. The 1s drew one card and asked if that was the last draw (before he looked at his hand). He was all-in.

I said, “No! One draw left.”

The 1s looked at his hand and declared, “I’m good.”

The 4s looked at his hand for about 30 seconds and then motioned with his free hand. I assumed it was a pat hand from the hand motion. The 1s felt the same way because he laid his hand down, face up, and declared that he had a seven. I burned the 3rd burn card and dropped the deck. We always burn a card, even if everyone is pat and there is no draw…it’s procedure.

The pot was pushed, the deck pulled together to shuffle for the next hand and Lenny woke up or drifted back from the trip he was on. Lenny made the statement that there was a draw left and the 4s should have been allowed to draw. His story was that I dropped the deck before I gave the 4s a chance to draw. Bullshit!

I said, “The first player said he was good. The other player opened his hand,” (wrong statement to make to Lenny here, but in essence the player did open his free hand as if to motion that he was pat too).

Lenny went into the attack mode at me, “Did he open his hand? If he did why didn’t we see it?”

I rephrased my statement but to no avail. The 4s stammered around, making a slight noise that he would have drawn if he’d known there was another draw left.

The 1s went ballistic and asked Lenny, “Why are you being a dick?”

Lenny got on the 1s’s case because the 1s was raising his voice. The 1s raised his voice some more while the conversation boiled around. It finally settled down. I had no win so I quit trying to explain.

The 4s told me, a few hands later, that he didn’t have any problem with any of it and he would never give me any problem because he felt dealers got too much heat from people as it was.

To point out something I’ve said as least 400 times, in posts and in games, if I make a mistake, please let me know before the pot is pushed and the deck is dead…nuff said there. Hard for me to reconstruct anything when it’s all over and finished. And did Lenny know what he was talking about? NO! He was someplace else and arrived back on Table 2 when it was all over…he was the only one complaining and he wasn’t even in the hand.

Before all the hub-bub started, Sam G. waltzed into the high limit section and headed straight for Table 2. The boys in the game were making noises that he’s trying to sell his house…sounds bad for Sam.

*****

Of course I got to deal to Sam an hour later. He was playing $15-$30 Holdem, in the 1s. He had his head in one hand during most of my down…meaning he couldn’t figure out why he didn’t have all of their chips.

It was interesting to say the least. There were only two other faces at the table that were familiar. Jim B. and Joe. Jim B. reads here and every now and then while dealing to him, he brings up something I’ve written about and he’s very familiar with the Sam G. posts. Jim was in the 7s.

Scott was sweating Sam most of the time…the obvious would mean that Scott put Sam in the game. Scott’s pretty cool…nice attitude, never harsh or judgmental and easy to deal to.

Sam took 10-3 off, in the Blind, and made a monster by filling up on the River with…you guessed it…a three for something like treys full of sevens.

Scott walked over behind Sam and Sam said, “I wish we were up there,” nodding to the $10-$20 Blind NLH game. After Scott walked off, Sam yelled at Jimmy T., “Jimmy, did you put me on the list?” Jimmy was in the 7s of the NLH game. Sam never misses a chance to hustle up a backer.

Jeff and Jason, $15-$30 players, were milling around and talking with Scott by the rail (watching the game) when Sam got involved in a hand.

The 2s was young, European, had missed his blinds and returned when Sam was the Button. The 2s Bought the Button. The 8s raised, Sam called $30 with Q-9 Offsuit. The 2s raised making it $45 to go. It was multi-way action until the Flop. Everyone called the 2s’s raise.

The Flop was J-9-undercard. The 2s bet, got one caller and Sam. The Turn was a 9. The 2s bet, the original raiser folded, and Sam raised. The 2s called. Even though the 2s was nervous as a whore in church, he still bet the River (small card). Sam raised. The 2s called. Sam showed Q-9 off and the 2s turned over J-J.
Sam ran to the rail to talk the ‘boys’ that were watching.

I looked down the table in the direction of Jim B. and couldn’t help but laugh. Not because Sam lost the hand but I couldn’t figure Sam even playing that hand in a 10 handed game, let alone calling a raise with it…but he’s the pro…I’m just a dealer. And I would have never called the 2s…I knew he had Jacks Full…hell yes! Just by the way he acted, he had a big duke.

Jason gave me the ‘look’ at end of the hand and we exchanged ‘the smile’. We both knew Sam made a bad play and then came over to explain to Scott.

Sam recouped a few minutes later, the board was K-8-little, an 8 on the Turn, he bet and won the pot. He went through all the noise, about how he felt better now, as he showed them Queen high nothing. As he stacked the chips, he said, “I’d tip you, Honey, but I had to do all the work.”

No comment.

I met Dale. He played in a $1-$5 7 Card Stud game, the first night and $4-$8 Holdem the next night. He was in the 10s in the Holdem game and I got a chance to pick up some info on a conversation I’d overheard him having the night before in the Stud game. He’s on his way to Akron OH, early Monday a.m. to compete in the Senior Olympics. He’ll be a contender in the Discus, Javelin, and Shot Put. He promised to send me an email and let me know how he did overall. Cool!

*****

I spent one of my downs on Table 1, $300-$600 Mixed, listening to Eskimo sing. He sang Que Sera, Sera, to Robert Williamson III, “When Robert was just a little girl, he asked his mother, What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here’s what she said to him, Que sera, sera, Whatever will be, will be…” then he stopped and asked Robert, “You like that song don’t you?” not waiting for an answer, he started it again…at least three more times. And yes…he did refer to Robert as a ‘little girl’ during the song.

Robert small talked with me about his personal life and Eskimo jumped into the middle of the conversation. I’ve known Robert for a lot of years and we’ve shared food, roller skating, poker games, and lots of conversation…but I skipped out of saying too much in this game. It was three handed and Eskimo was definitely in control of the entertainment committee.

When I left the game, Eskimo was chortling out his rendition of King of The Road…when he didn’t know the words, he hummed or “Ayahhhh…deedee…dahdah…” type of thing.

Hysterical!

*****

Then I had the misfortune of dealing to Rusty and falling into his slime pit because I couldn’t keep from lipping off to him. I hate it when I do that. Rusty plays $15-$30 Holdem…not on a regular basis on my shift, but often enough that I know I dislike dealing to him. He’s rude to everyone. It goes like this.

Everyone at the table was a new face, except for Rusty and he was in the 6s. The 9 and 10s were young and really inexperienced. I stated to both of them that they had to have one playable stack outside their racks. They sat out a stack but everytime they called or won a pot, the chips went back into the rack. I asked them more than once about the chips…it didn’t bother them but it did bother Rusty as I found out a few minutes later.

Rusty’s a stiff…maybe $1 a year but no more, and all the heat you can handle. The action in the game was great. Rusty won a pot and then lost several. His cards came in about a foot off the table and landed in the rack both times he lost. If I’d had my hands on the table he would have hit me. The second time the cards came sailing in, I told him to set them down and I’d pick them up. He said he was supposed to make sure the dealer got them when he threw them away. I replied, “No you aren’t. You set them down, I pick them up,” and I indicated a spot about a foot from his hand.

The next hand, he set them out one inch from his chips and leaned back in his chair. I waited. He waited. I said, “Push them in.”

He never moved.

I screamed for a decision. I got James. James is new on the Floor position and not very assertive, he wouldn’t have been my choice but…

I told James that the 6s had lofted his cards into the rack twice when he lost a hand. I had cautioned him and told him to set them down. Now he refused to push them in to me. James told Rusty he had to have forward motion on his cards. Rusty pushed them about five inches, I picked them up and finished the hand.

The 10s made an obvious String Bet. I called him on it and explained what he should do if he wanted to raise. Rusty did a “You come in here ordering everyone around…”

I leaned over the table at him and said, “Would you like me to run the game the way it should be ran, or according to you?”

He shut up. We got to the next hand. He went all-in, with five or six way action and he was the Big Blind. On the Flop, it went to three players, including hate beamer Rusty. I said, “Four players,” as I burned and turned.

Rusty jumped on that one so fast I’m surprised he wasn’t suing me for whip lash. He demanded, “Where do you see four players?”

I looked around the table and said, “Sorry, three players.”

He asked again, “Where do you see four players?”

I leaned across the table at him, one more time, and said, “I’ve already stated I made a mistake, what else is there?”

He glared at me.

I asked, “You hate everyone don’t you?”

No denying it, he said, “Yes!”

I said, “But mostly you hate yourself.”

He said, “Yes…(mumbled something like)…thought you’d throw up on that.”

Me, “Nope. I don’t have to take you home with me.”

Not to worry, he played this hand with 8-2 offsuit, flopped a pair of deuces, made eight’s up when another player made a flush on the Turn, and caught an eight on the River to make a Full House. Rusty tried to go broke but the deck wouldn’t let him.

The two seat made the Flush and as I pushed him the side pot, he asked, “Why did you have to give him a Full House? I know you didn’t want to.”

Jesus! Was he right on the money or what?

One of the strange hands that happen in poker, happened in this game. The 1s flopped a set of Treys, telling the 2s that he definitely had a hand as he bet…he was going all-in and it was almost as if he was begging the 2s not to call. BTW, the 2s raised it pre-flop. The 2s called the all-in bet. The Turn was an Ace, Set of Aces for the 2s, the River a trey, Quads for the 1s. They shook hands and laughed over it.

But back to the “Freak of the Year”, Rusty. The Chip Runner walked up and said, “ok, Linda.”

Obviously she was there for a fill but I was clowning around. I asked, “You ready to deal?”

Rusty jumped in, “I’d like to deal.”

Me, “Then fill out an application, we always need dealers.”

I counted out the bank for the fill and started laughing. I looked right at him and said, “I’d like to play while you’re dealing, Buddy!”

He said he’d really like to learn to deal if I taught him. PUKE! GAG! FRESH AIR PLEASE!

I ignored him and dealt the next hand. Jesus! Does it seem like this down lasted forever? Hell yes!

I got tapped out. I did my standard, “Thanks everyone, have a good night.”

Rusty, “Thanks for everything, Honey.”

Oh my God! I headed for the time clock and fresh air, big gulping, throat expanding, lung exploding gulps of it!

Sometimes before I fall asleep, I thank God I’m me and I ask Him to never let me be like the Rustys in life when I grow up…now if I could just learn not to respond to them.

I met a friend, through my site, in December, 2001. His name is Clark and he’d been reading the ‘dear diary’ and sent me an email. We’ve corresponded off and on for two and a half years now. I find his emails to be exceptionally refreshing, funny, and ‘off the wall’. I want to share this one. He sent it right after my post about Sam G. sending me the ‘hate ray’ looks in the post on 7/1/04.

Truthfully, I thought I’d fall on the floor and die laughing when I visited the link in his email…although his email had me in stitches also. Enjoy!

Need help reflecting the hate rays?

http://zapatopi.net/afdb.html

You are WELCOME.

Friends have a Sunday night game I’ve been invited to, so I’ve been going. Sort of. They’re kind of dorky about it–of course, one of them has to be there to be the bank and such; but they don’t seem to talk to each other about it, like who’s going to be there to do that and what time they will be available. They claimed the start time was 1900, but when I got there, it was obviously not the case. Next time, 1930 was good, but the time after that, they hadn’t started by 2100. I had been waiting about an hour, and you know, life is short, plus had to go to work the next day, and all that.

I talked to one of them about it, and she said that’s the nature of the beeste. Guess I need to find a different beeste. As much time as I waste just wrangling their logistics, I should drive to the casino. I would, but I have to sit down with $100 instead of $5, and that’s a big difference to me.

On the positive side, I played a total of four times there, and was up three and zero once. I thought that was good since we were playing dealer’s choice and not much hold’em.

They like a lot of wanker games, like Substitution and Shopping. I found out I like Deadwood a lot (7 card hi-lo 8 qualifier).

Anysway, I’m trying to play online at ultimatebet, but they require a PC, which I don’t have it, except at work, where I am afraid I will be busted down to my skivvies and shown the door with all deliberate speed if they catch me playing from their computer, even after hours with the door closed. So, I just spent a week trying to rehabilitate an old PC laptop my son gave me. I finally found the screen that told me there wasn’t any way to do that, so now I’m on the hunt again.

We had a card party and had a poker table going to be the “steno pool” for the games that require specific numbers of players (like bridge). I dealt most of the night instead of playing, and that was fun, too. Learned one of our friends is actually quite good at poker, although I don’t think he had played before. He’s not the kind of guy you expect that from, but there it is. I imagine he would be a very good player at the real deal because he is a very deliberate fellow. Anysway, I had quad 2s once, and that was nice.

Saw you on the tee vee at Aruba. Did you not deal WPT Bellagio (the one that just showed–the “championship”)? Are you watching the WPT this year? Does it seem to you like they are showing a lot less poker than last year–more stuff and nonsense? It really seems light compared to *Late Night*, *Championship from the Plaza*, and *WSoP* on Fox.

Man, we saw a GREAT semi-final game on *LN* a few weeks ago. They were all playing fast and tough and cutting each other in half. We felt wounded just watching, but it was GREAT POKER. We’d like to see Lucy Rokesh play over here in WSoP or some such.

Hope things turn out well w/your screenplay. I got rejected from *Weird Tales* about a month ago, ostensibly because what I sent them was science fiction and not a “weird tale”, whatever the ph*kk that means. It’s getting clearer to me why it is people start with books instead of short stories, but shorter stuff is what’s coming out, so…

I’ve been pricing a Vegas trip for my vacation next year. Any tips? Maybe I’ll see you at the table, if I can persuade Loui to go.

cjs

I started on Table 6, $20-$40 Omaha 8 or Better with a half kill. The game was mediocre. Double A must be on the losing streak of his lifetime because I never see him with a lot of chips and he’s always tight lipped and non-smiling. He’s one of my favorites, wish poker wasn’t so damn harsh at times.

The funny part of the game was when Morris won a hand. He hogged the pot and didn’t know it. They heckled him and told him he was just like Puggy. Morris said, “Puggy really had a swearing fit and gave the dealer hell today.”

I said, “Why don’t you tell him to knock it off.”

Morris, “Then he’d swear at me.”

Me, “You’re a man, you can handle it.”

Morris, “I couldn’t handle a five year old.”

Everyone cracked up. That was the high spot of the game.

*****

There was a little rock and roller $100-$200 Blind Holdem game on Table 8. It’s been a steady happening for the last week. Rock and roll is definitely the word for it. Lots of chips and action. The player in the 5s is the biggest part of the action as he likes to play a lot of hands out of position…position hell, he just likes to play a lot of hands.

He told the other players tonight that that’s why he won $18,000 one night last week, he plays anything that adds up to 20 or 19 suited…he lied…he turned over 9-10 Off and won a big pot with it. Hello Gamble!!!

He asked once, “Isn’t that right, Linda Baby?”

I smiled and agreed with him. Far be it from me to ever disagree with someone that wants to gamble and is having a good time doing it.

*****

I dealt a $15-$30 Holdem game that makes me wonder why anyone would ever complain about the ‘one player to a hand’ rule. The guy sitting behind his wife (she was in the 1s) talked to her in a foreign language from time to time. Neither one of them knew what ‘she’ was doing. At the end of my down, she asked if three pair beat two pair. With my best straight face in place, I explained that the best five cards played.

She turned to her husband and told him…he nodded as if he’d just figured out the secrets of the Universe.

I got pushed and ran for a ‘hand ranking’ card. Returned with it and gave it to him/her. How can you not love these games?

*****

A $25-$50 Blind NLH game was in progress and the guy in the 8s kept throwing all of his chips in…sometimes without looking at his cards. I dealt about fifteen minutes of the game and he went ‘bust’ and left and the game broke up. A few of the players were still sitting there talking but the game was over. Word at the table was that he’d gone through $10,000…just gave it away.

I got pushed. About fifteen minutes into my next down, the guy came back. The game cranked right up again. Wonder why…

Most of the last two weeks found me signing the EO/PLAY list. For those of you that aren’t familair with the term, when there are too many dealers for games spread, dealers can play on shift until they are needed in the line-up. It’s a draw by day of the week as far as who gets to play and who will deal…definitely NOT mandatory. The EO is short for early out. That’s also done by day of the week. While I did win playing poker, I did not win what I would have made if I’d dealt my shifts…my fun and goofy ‘poker playing on shift’ run is over…back to the Dealer’s Box. I’m OK with that. Sometimes it’s easier to deal than it is to play and put up with some of the dealers.

Now you’re wondering how I could even make that statement since I am a dealer…it’s quite easy. Right is right and wrong is wrong. At this moment, I choose not to mention their names, some of them are tournament dealers and I really don’t know them but a few are our regular room dealers and I don’t want the torment since I have to work with them everyday.

Two dealers allowed a person to take their bet back after there was action behind them.

The following dealer is one of them that allowed the player to take his money back and she makes more noise, while she’s dealing, than a building being imploded. The dust from the building hangs in the air forever and she seems to also.

She stomp shuffles the deck, the bets coming in, the players and the action. And she thinks she’s damn cute. She turned the River card face down (but another one of our dealers did that also) when everyone was hanging in the air waiting to see it. She smiled like it was a magic act and she was in control of the card…maybe even would make it disappear. UGH!!! She allowed a guy to pull a $100 bill from under his stack and hand it to his wife playing next to him. When a dealer behind her screamed, “SEAT OPEN TABLE 16.” She screamed, “JUST FILL IT YOURSELF, STEVE…no one gonna listen to you anyway.” She informed the table that the Brush Person on shift that day was one of the worst we’d ever had…mostly she said it to me but it went out to everyone. She had no idea who won the pot in one hand because she was busy watching everyone else and being cute.

Shit like this drives me crazy. I totally understand why a lot of players hate dealers and look down on them. I also understand that, in all professions, there is always going to be someone, someplace that sucks at their job and they are never going to improve or even try to. That still doesn’t mean I have to like it. It’s one of the reasons I don’t play for months at a time. I can’t stand to tip them (and I’m expected to tip more because I work there) for doing a job ‘poorly’ done and listen to and watch them while they’re doing it.

I’ve been a very busy kid. The screenplay is finally, really truly, done. X X X…that’s me crossing my fingers. I’m so relieved. It’s been an obsession for the last four months. I hope I don’t wake up in the night needing a fix. But not to worry, there’s more writing going on. I’m working on a book I started around the end of last year…and not to forget these pages.

So a short trip to Pokerland USA is in order.

Sam G. seems to be doing more sitting around as a ‘sweater’ than as a player lately. He did jump into a ‘must move’ $10-$20 NLH game I was dealing on Monday night. He had the minimum buy-in and it went into a pot about the fourth or fifth hand I dealt. It was four way action and he lost all of his checkers in the hand. He was the Small Blind and sat there after I moved the Button to him…without digging for chips or appearing to be ready to re-buy. I shuffled and dealt. Even without having chips in front of him, he’s entitled to be dealt in every hand until he’s missed his blind. He also has to re-buy for the minimum buy-in which is $600.

Don’t worry, as I came around with his first card, he gave me the ‘glare devil’ of all devil looks. It’s a good thing I’m made of steel and I can deflect those hate rays or my head might have exploded when they hit me. He took a hike but left some token on the table which locked up his seat. I got pushed a few minutes later so…maybe he returned, maybe he didn’t.

Archie K. – the guy that ran $10,000 into $34,000,000 back a few years ago, was playing $15-$30 7 Card Stud tonight. Ahhhh…you’re thinking it’s because he invested the $34M and he only plays low limit for fun now, right? Wrong! He’s a story alright. I got an email from someone that wanted to do a special on gambling and they wanted to talk to Archie as a possible host…they asked me if I could get in touch with him and have him call them back. I did but I had to go through the Greek Mafia in the Sports Book to do it. It was all very secret and one of them came to me later with a phone number for Archie. Sure, I called him and gave him the number of ‘them’. I haven’t seen him as a host on any tv show about gambling…but I do have his phone number. 🙂

I haven’t dealt any of the Festa Al Lago Tournament to date. I’ve dealt a few satellites and a super satellite but none of the tournament. I’ve been out of the line-up, playing more poker than I should but it’s been great fun. Soon I’ll be off to the yearly renzdevous in Idaho, the great family camp out, poker games, sleeping in a tent, campfires, hiking, my best little girlfriend will go with me after she flies in from Kansas City…sigh…I can hardly wait.

On that note, it’s time for sleep.

This was my week to sluff off dealing…and I did. I played three out of five nights in $4-$8 Holdem. Two wins, one loss, up a tad in $$, up a lot in fun and meeting new people.

Play #1. I met Steve, Nick, Derrick, and Randall in the same game.

Nick came cruising back to the table puffing on a cigar bigger than he is and I exclaimed, “Sir, this is a non-smoking room!”

He stopped, while the smoke wrapped around him, and asked the player in the 3s if it really was non-smoking. The player told him yes and then Nick tried to stop the cocktail waitress to see if he could drop the giant, smoldering, stench log into a cup on her tray. It was a no go so Nick had to head back out of the room to get rid of it. The smell lingered for a good ten minutes…ugh!

Nick swore, flipped chips, and acted like a big buffoon, but finally settled down and got to know us and we had a pretty good time. After all, he just turned 21, how the hell is he supposed to know how to act in a poker room?

Steve sat next to me and we visited through a few hours. Derrick and Randall were pretty low key and quiet, but then anyone was low key and quiet compared to Nick.

I met John on my way to the Cashier. We stood in line and visited for a few minutes. He’d seen me the day before and wanted to know if ‘this was me’. He just moved here from CA.

Play #2. I had to sit next to Paul (3s), grouch of the world, mad when he wins, mad when he loses…identified by two strange little frogs he puts on the table when he plays. Sometimes he has them stacked on top of each other…yes, as if they’re mating.

Paul can’t take a beat without going ballistic. When he takes a beat (even if it isn’t ugly) he stomps off to the outer realm of Casino Land. When he wins, he laughs and cackles and talks up his play and how he got there and how he thought about how he got there. Oh drear. Shut up and stack the chips already.

He got on my case because he wanted me to move closer to the 1s and squash him into the Dealer. I refused. Paul had a fit about his space and kept telling me to move over, although he had five inches between my arm and his, he wasn’t happy. I really wasn’t either because he’s never spent a dime on deoderant, but I wasn’t giving up my little piece of green felt to make him happy.

Every time Paul had a fit, two guys at the other end of the table started laughing and looked at me. I, of course, started laughing too. They did their best to beat Paul in every hand…usually he beat himself.

Steve (from the night before) sat down in this game in the 4s. Paul mumbled and grumbled to Steve about everything and Steve did his best to tune Paul out.

I made one hand in this game…this was the losing night. I picked up Q-Q and raised. I got Steve and a couple of other callers. The Flop was 10-8-?. Steve bet, everyone folded to me, I raised, Steve raised, and I called.

The Turn was a Queen, Steve checked, I bet, he called. The River was a Jack and Steve checked. So did I. Steve had 10-10. He flopped a Set and I turned a bigger one. My first and last pot in about four hours. Hell no, I’m not crying, it’s just the way poker goes.

Two youngsters from TX sat down, one took the 1s and one took the 5s. They were both pretty quiet and didn’t do much in chip movement for awhile. The 1s and I talked about the NLH Tournament that’s in progress now at Bellagio. Then the two of them ended up heads up, one flopped a set of Fours, the other flopped a set of Kings. They were cute in their banter back and forth and play against each other…no holds barred on their betting and raising.

Play #3. I had to deal Table 1 before I got out to play. It was $800-$1,600 Mixed game and Curtis was in the 8s, losing and crying. It took a tremendous amount of control on my part to remain calm and not lip off to him as he ‘thanked me’ when he lost, made all kinds of comments about never tipping again, and ‘I knew she’d put the card up that could beat me’, and on and on and on.

The table has an automatic shuffler and a different deck was in play every hand but I did it to him.

Once in an 8 or Better hand, when he was heads up with Jennifer, she raised on 6th Street, he threw his bet out and one of his $500 chips bounced into her bets in front of her. I took the $500 and put it back in the bets in front of him. Yet when the hand was over and they split the pot, he asked her to count down the chips in front of her because he was sure one of his $500 chips had gone into her stack of bets.

I told him that I had put it back in front of him and he complained that he couldn’t believe anything good would happen to him and he was going to count it down anyway.

Well, ok then. They counted down their bets and they were equal. But nothing was ever said about that.

I knew I was getting out of the line-up at 8 p.m. A new dealer went past me to Table 2 because they were taking my place. I was about two minutes from getting pushed and Curtis stopped Carmen, “Carmen, the push went right on by her. They didn’t even come here.”

Carmen stopped and looked at me. I finally said, “I’m getting out of the line-up on the push, Carmen.” She walked off.

I wanted to let Curtis stew over the fact that it’s really none of his business…as in who gets pushed by who and what/who runs the line-up, but I didn’t want Carmen to take any heat. That’s the only reason I said anything.

WELL on to Play #3. I had a lot of fun. I met, Mike, Victor, and Joe…all youngsters that laughed and played poker. I got lucky on a few hands and picked up $$$.

One of our dealers, Joe E., got in the game for a brief play and put the straddle on it when he was UTG.

I was fortunate enough not to pick up any hands during that time period…it’s sort of like the calf being led to slaughter. The chips are flying and the worst hand before the Flop is usually going to win.

There was a lot of banter and Mike was a kick. You’d have to be there to get into the full swing of it.

The 6s…sheesh, I have to find out this guys name…mentioned in the June 23rd post as the 8s, was in this game. He talked nonstop. He had Doyle’s book, Super Systems, that he pulled out of a case. The book had no covers and was worn and ragged.

He said he’s had it for 20 some years and read and read and read, except the part written by Bobby Baldwin (except he referred to Bobby as the President of this place). He had a page out of the book that was tattered and folded and falling apart. He showed it to everyone. It has Bobby Baldwin’s and David Sklansky’s autograph on it. He wants Doyle’s and Chip’s autograph too.

It was motion and commotion for the few hours I spent there. Then…the Time Clock, the heat of the night, the cooling calmness of my home and two days off. Thank you, GOD!