Can you imagine, if I had 1/10th of 1% of all the money that’s ever crossed my palms…all the cash involved in buy-ins and pushing the chips to the players, all the times I’ve made change for someone to tip the cocktail waitress and me, all the times I’ve collected time, all the change made for the rake, all the antes and blinds that have been pulled in, all the pots that have been pushed, all the pots I’ve won and stacked, buying my own chips…Good God! The amount would be staggering. I could take all of my friends, family, and a few people I didn’t even know and party until the Earth dried up from exhaustion just watching us party. Wow! Now that I got past that thought…

*****

A few months ago, I dealt a $30-$60 Holdem game and I put up the Flop and said, “Five players.”

The 6s said, “One dealer.”

I looked at him like he had an eye in the middle of his forehead. I’d never seen him before and he turned out to be extremely live. He just grinned at me and stared back.

Every time I announced the number of players in the hand, during the rest of my down, he replied with, “One dealer.”

I couldn’t help but smile every time he said it.

*****

A few weeks ago, I’d had an extremely hectic night with all high limit games. Finally, in the last hour of my shift, I dealt a $4-$8 Holdem game. The player in the 5s had just received a bottle of beer from the cocktail waitress and as I put up the Flop, I asked, “Do you think the cameras would pick it up if you pushed that beer over to me and I shot-gunned it?

A woman in the 3s and the 5s roared.

A few minutes later, he had the beer between his legs, on the chair. Hey…I have no idea why guys do that but I see it quite often.

I ordered, “I like my beer really cold, get it back on the table!”

I owned them after that. We laughed all the way through my down and I was in need of ‘laughter insanity’ after the games I’d been dealing.

*****

The room’s still very busy, lots of high limit, noise, and people. No one is going home. I heard years ago that poker players have no home, I never believed it then but I do now.

Major poker burnout! That’s where I’m at right now. A million years or so ago, when I first fell in love with poker, I could never imagine a day where I wouldn’t be involved with poker in one form or another…whether it was working in the industry or playing. Right this minute, I can’t imagine that I could spend another week in it in any capacity.

Ok…it’s temporary insanity and it will pass. But I’m in the bottom of the Nether World right now…my energy is gone, my thoughts refuse to associate with anything in the real world, and I don’t know how in the hell I’m going to talk myself into another night of dancing the dance and shining on my best attitude at the green felt shoot out.

I’m not angle shooting at the escape hatch but this is it for today. Maybe if I can crawl into a coma and wrap myself up in a dream, I can trick myself into being t-h-r-i-l-l-e-d about waking up to Monday and a new work week. See you there!

Mike D., AKA Israeli Mike, had another blow out last week. His out of control vehicle crashed and burned but he failed to notice because no one pointed it out to him. I was across the room, dealing a $15-$30 Holdem game when I heard, “MIKE! MIKE!”

Someone at the table he was at was trying to slow him down. He was up, from the 2s, walking behind the dealer, in a menacing manner, focused on the 7s.

Suzanne got to him just as he made it to the 7s. She’s the Front Brush Supervisor and she stepped between him and the 7s. Carmen appeared and took over. Apparently Mike was ready to behave like a caveman and bludgeon the 7s because the 7s had made a comment that Mike didn’t like.

Bummer! Like he’s never made a comment the rest of the world didn’t like. It blew over and Mike’s still playing in the room. RATS!!!

Someone in the game I was dealing, said, “They aren’t going to fight. People that are going to fight just get right into it, they don’t talk about it.”

Everyone in my game laughed. Another gent in my game was in shock that this type of behavior would even be tolerated at Bellagio. I am too!

I dealt to the 7s, the brunt of Mike’s angst, the following night. He’s chatty, likes to talk up his game and everyone else’s while he’s playing.

Something happened with him that I find to be a little bizarre…especially if he’s a seasoned player. The game was $75-$150 7 Card Stud. He was in the 3s and wearing headphones. The 8s had the low card bring-in, the 2s threw out three $25 chips, I said, “Raise!”

The 3s released five – $5 chips, as if to call the bring-in, and I said, “It’s been raised.”
He pulled back the five chips and said, “I raise,” and threw out six $25 chips.

I said, “You can’t raise.”

He yanked his head phones off and said, “I intended to raise.”

I said, “You called the low card bring-in after I stated the raise. You can’t raise now after indicating you were just calling.”

He did a little mini tiz on me about what he thought and how he should be able to raise, but went with my decision while he protested. I’m curious where he plays that his action would be considered legal game play, especially at this limit.

This is a two post in one day. I really meant to fill in some space when I came home from work yesterday but I couldn’t get the mush in my brain to cooperate so I gave up, drank Bailey’s and coffee, and watched part of the Atlantic City WPT that I had taped. Yeah, I’m just more than a little bit behind with some things but it works for me. Continue reading “Who’s the real piece of shit here?” →

He’s four months over the deadline of when he said he’d be back and back he is…$30,000-$60,000 Limit Holdem with a $3,000,000 buy-in. Think those figures are a typo? It’s just 6 chips and 12 chips, just like a $6-$12 game only played with flags. Andy’s back and he’s ready to play. He was heads-up with Chip R. when I went to work tonight.

He was always so friendly towards me when I dealt to him and spoke of Montana and how much he liked the state that I couldn’t resist going up to say “Hello!” I waited until the dealer was shuffling and approached him with, “Hi Andy! Welcome back.”

He jumped up and grabbed my hand, pulled off headphones, said he had ear plugs in and couldn’t hear me very well. I repeated that it was nice to see him back in the room. He replied with a warm smile, “Thank you. It’s nice to be back here.” Continue reading Beal is back →

I had a major run in with a player on my third down. The game was $30-$60 Holdem. M.D. was in the 10s and he’s a steamer, I’ve dealt to him before. Tom, the $75-$150 Stud player from the last post was in the 7s. (I did find out the deal Eric D., Tom, and the 3s had going…if Eric or Tom were rolled up, the 3s was going to give them $2,000. Those guys just have to have more than one gamble going on all the time.)

M.D. set out his $20 small blind and walked away. I dealt him in and he didn’t return in time. He came back and asked me what happened. I told him.

A few hands later, M.D. raised pre-flop. Tom folded and was talking with a guy that had walked up behind him. The hand went to show down and M.D. lost the hand. He threw his cards across the table into Tom’s hands. Tom turned back to the game, grabbed the cards, looked at them and asked, “Am I in this hand?”

M.D. steamed and everyone laughed. Tom carried it a little further, “This is a pretty good hand. Did I lose the pot?”

The 5s was teasing me about Montana and what I was drinking the night before and a few other million things were going on in the game. Sergeant Rock was in the 3s…Mark to me…and Lance came in as a new player in the 4s.

M.D. raised again. Tom had a hand this time and he jumped right into the action. The pot was big…Tom and M.D. both lost on the river. Tom said, “I give up on you, Linda!” and slid his cards in a little too hard. One of them skipped off the table under my elbow. He immediately apologized and jumped up to retrieve it. He had pocket Queens.

No one knows what M.D. had except M.D. He acted like he’d taken the bad beat of the century and snorted, “Change the deck!”

I said, “I can’t.”

Tom had his fallen card on the table by now and I was pulling the deck together to count it down.

M.D. barked at me again, “Change the deck, a card went on the floor!”

I had already started to count the deck when he demanded, “Then count the deck.”

“I know how to do my job but thank you for helping me with it.”

Mark and the 5s asked if they could help me with it too. They were enjoying the show. I knew it was only going to get worse because I’ve dealt with M.D. before.

I told them my theory on having a clip board on the dealer’s chair and the game rules for the particular game being updated on the clip board. They thought it was a great idea but they would have to have a table captain to interpret the rules and the game would never get past the first hand because the rules would change all the time. Everyone appeared to be having a great time except M.D.

M.D. had another ‘burst’ with me. I said, “Settle down and play poker. If you keep messing with me, I’ll call the floor man.”

His reply, “Do you think I’m messing with you because you are fucking beautiful? Just deal.”

I screamed, “Decision, Table 24!”

Boba came over and I told him what M.D. had said to me and that I didn’t want to hear it. Boba told him to stop…NOW! M.D. argued briefly but he knew he’d lost the case. Boba came back a few minutes later and asked me if I was ok and did I need anything else. He’s great!

In the meantime, the 1s opened and Lance moved into it. As he was going, he loudly stated, “L.A. is where you throw cards and insults at the dealers. Not here!”

Lance jumped into the chair beside me, rubbed my arm, and asked, “How can you not love this girl?”

M.D. turned to stone, watching TV and leaving his hand lay unattended each time until it was his blind. I gave him a missed blind button and he sat there until the next dealer tapped me out. When I left the game, so did he. The little gutter snipe went to Boba and told him that I took $20 from him and dealt him in the small blind when he walked away from the table. Boba told him that that was not even a possibility. No dealer would take a player’s money and deal them in unless they were told to do so.

My last down of the night was $80-$160 Holdem. A player/tourist picked up about $1,000 in bills from under his tray and stuffed them in his pocket. His hands were folded in front of the rack in front of him and I knew he had about $800 in chips but couldn’t see anything else. When I told him the bills had to stay on the table until he left, the 10s informed me that the players in the game knew what was going on and ‘you dealers don’t have to say anything…and shouldn’t say anything.’ He implied that we created a problem if we tried to run the game because the players always know what’s going on.

At that point, I wondered if I jumped up, onto the table, leaped over and grabbed the drape that hangs at the side of the window openings in the poker room, and used it to swing out into the Sports Book to escape the plight of being too intelligent to deal poker to blithering dumb butts, if I would get fired.

Me and my big mouth. In the previous post, I stated that the room was quiet. That statement got blown all to hell when I walked into the room last night.

I started my night on Table 29, a $1-$5 7 Card Stud, moved to Table 30, $8-$16 Holdem and then…after a break…straight up to high limit on Table 1.

When I tapped Lisa out, the game had just broke. Not to worry, a $400-$800 Mixed game that was in progress on another table was moved to Table 1. Just a slight amount of confusion while the game plaques were sorted, players took their seats, and then the game was on.

Of course the subject of the Shuffle Master and dealers came up again. A guy named Will, that owns a card club in N. California, was in the 8s and he wanted to know what the ‘boys’ thought of the shuffler because he’s considering putting them in his tables. He also referenced the fact that he did not have any dealer in his establishment that wasn’t top of the line, not like the dealers he’d seen here…’these tournament dealers or whatever they are, couldn’t work for me…from what I’ve seen none of them are any good’.

Poor li’l ol’ me. I never said a word, just kept dealing. He then looked at me and said, “Not this one, of course.”

I thanked him but I’m not sure for what. It’s always as if you’re a chair or a planter while they cuss and discuss you because you have no opinion and are not considered to be part of the human race when you’re a dealer…ok…not by all players.

Will and David G. ended up heads up in a Triple Draw game and Will bet $800 and David threw out a flag and said, “$800 on the piece.”

Will, “What?”

David, “I was just telling her $800 on the piece.”

No kidding! There was only $800 in the pot so how could I possibly make change for a $5,000 chip? And also if David didn’t tell me what to do, how would I possibly know? Amazing as it is, I manage to deal all the games without him there to tell me how to do it.

I escaped the down shortly after that and moved into a $600-$1200 Mixed game. The limit had just changed…up…and I didn’t have a game plaque for the limit but the Supervisor had been notified.

They were gambling in this game and one of the reasons was David B. He’s French and has a nice throaty accent when he speaks. The game was quiet and nobody was talking…food had been ordered and a few players already had theirs. Jennifer was playing next to David and dining at the same time.

Out of nowhere, David pipes up with, “I received a compliment today…I think it was a compliment anyway…a guy told me I was the best Mother Fucker he knew.”

I roared. Jennifer laughed.

He asked the table, “Do you think it’s a compliment?”

Some hemming and hawing went on and one player said, “Maybe, sort of backhanded.”

David was grinning…he knew what was going on.

$80-$160 Holdem, $10-$20 Omaha 8 or Better with a Half Kill, back to back $15-$30 Holdem games…off to $75-$150 7-Card Stud. This is an unusual limit for Bellagio in the last few years. It used to be the biggest game that was spread on a daily basis at the Mirage some years ago. Funny how everything just keeps going up, isn’t it?

This game was interesting because there was some additional bet going on with a few of the players. The 3s only had to ante $10, Eric D. in the 6s anted $20 and made up the other $5 for the 3s each hand. Tom was in the 1s and he got cut in on the deal while I was in the box. Tom paid the 3s $5 each hand I dealt…something to do with starting rolled up but I don’t know the particulars of the deal. I do know that Tom offered me two green chips ($25 chips) for each hand he started rolled up…the 3s said he would top that offer. Damn it! It just didn’t happen. Never threaten me with money because I just can’t perform the simplest task when it means extra cash in my pocket.

Then I got to deal that wonderful little piece of harmony and heaven, $80-$160 Omaha 8 or Better with a 1/4 Kill. They bark and snort orders long hard and continuously. Even if you knew what you were doing, by the time they get through you’ve lost your train of thought and have to start over.

An Asian player named Candy was in the 5s. She stomped off as I slid into the box and one of the players made a comment about her ‘bad’ attitude. She came right back to be dealt in and behaved as if she owned the table, the players, Bellagio, and all its employees.

She had her hair pulled back, pony tail fashion, with one of the frilly, acrylic hair bands holding it in place. She was wearing a white, form fitting leather jacket and some type of short denim skirt. The guys were teasing her a little about the length of her skirt and a conversation developed as to why she would wear one here in Vegas but not in CA. She definitely has ATTITUDE!

Food arrived and the game went into a semi standstill mode while four of the players figured out what they ordered and the bill.

Danny D. – spunky, high energy smile, devil in his eyes, Asian – walked up behind Candy and asked loudly, “Are you getting married?” as he looked at the back of her head.

It was so off the wall that half the table burst into laughter. Candy was so busy being Candy and getting her food lined out that she missed it.

Danny’s expression was deadpan as he followed with, “Who’s the unlucky guy?”

They were still laughing when I got pushed. So was I.

It was all downhill from there, literally. I was almost through with my shift and out of high limit, three low limits games stood between me and the time clock. Yippee!

I have a very definite opinion on tournaments and jackpots. They kill the live action. Lots of you would disagree with me but that’s ok. Yes, tournaments bring in players and help build business…so do jackpots. But when they are over, a few walk away with the money that the masses scraped together to build the prize pools. The masses go back to work or start grinding again to put a bankroll together. It shows in poker everywhere, like a seven year drought in the Corn Belt.

Hey, I’m not knocking tournaments. I just think there are too many of them now and everyone wants to be a ‘poker star’ so the live action isn’t as good as it could be.

This last week, even tho the WSOP, is in progress and we normally get all of their night action, the room has been quiet until around 10 to 11 p.m. Last year this time we were much busier. I think everyone’s got ‘tournament burnout’.

I like the mix of tourist and local and being able to visit and run the game vs. the ‘tournament’ stress level of noise and confusion coupled with players that want to tell me how to do everything when I’m in the box.

At one point during the tournament, I thought we should have a clipboard, hanging on the back of the Dealer’s Chair, that stated all the new rules for that game and we would be required to read and initial it before we could deal. Of course, these rules created by the players and subject to change at any moment, in which case, reading them before you sat down really wouldn’t do any good. Yes…I’m being sarcastic. It does border on ridiculous at times when someone comes in from out of town and tells you how to run your game, how you should put up the flop, where you should place the burn cards, how much and long you should scramble, and whether or not you should give change back to a player. I wonder how I can cope with ‘game flow’ when they aren’t around to tell me how to do it! Oh my!

But this doesn’t only happen in tournaments. I slide into the Dealer’s Chair on table 1 which happens to have a Shuffle Master installed. The game is $400-$800 Mixed. Half way through my down, a conversation starts between Curtis and Todd. It goes something like this.

Curtis, “I wish the dealers would scramble the deck before they put it into the shuffler.”

Todd, “They are supposed to.”

Mark, “Scramble the deck,” as he looks at me.

I reply, “Ok!” without looking at him because he’s one of my LEAST favorite players in the w-h-o-l-e world.

I did not make any comment about the fact that they think the dealer is supposed to scramble before putting the deck in the Shuffle Master. None of them were present at our training session so how would they know what we are or aren’t supposed to do? The answer is, NO! We are not supposed to scramble unless a player requests it.

A few hands later, Mark told me to scramble again. Again I complied. I then asked Todd if he’d seen the results of taking a fresh, sorted deck, placing it in the Shuffle Master and then spreading it face up to check the mix after the shuffle was complete.

He said, “No!” Followed by, “Does it do a pretty good job?”

I said, “It’s a great mix.”

He asked me if dealers were supposed to scramble and I said, “No.”

Curtis jumped in, “The part I don’t like is when the dealer’s pick up the deck to put it in the shuffler, they expose the bottom card and I wonder if it can be tracked somehow through the machine.”

I was really surprised at the statement and asked, “You mean, I’m doing it?”

He replied that all the dealers did.

Sorry but his concern is not even in the realm of possibility. It’s more likely that a dealer, shuffling the deck would expose the bottom card when the deck was picked up and squared to shuffle, then shuffled, and the card could be tracked, then tracking it in the Shuffle Master.

The following night I was dealing $800-$1,600 Mixed on table 1. I was asked for a scramble a couple of times by players but none of them were the same players from the previous night.

Don Z. said, “Isn’t it funny? We might find out that we still get the K of Spades three hands in a row in Razz with the machine and, after all these years, find out it really never was the dealer’s fault.

Mike W. firmly stated, “I’ve never believed it was the dealer’s fault.”

I vote for Mike.