I met Dale. He played in a $1-$5 7 Card Stud game, the first night and $4-$8 Holdem the next night. He was in the 10s in the Holdem game and I got a chance to pick up some info on a conversation I’d overheard him having the night before in the Stud game. He’s on his way to Akron OH, early Monday a.m. to compete in the Senior Olympics. He’ll be a contender in the Discus, Javelin, and Shot Put. He promised to send me an email and let me know how he did overall. Cool!

*****

I spent one of my downs on Table 1, $300-$600 Mixed, listening to Eskimo sing. He sang Que Sera, Sera, to Robert Williamson III, “When Robert was just a little girl, he asked his mother, What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here’s what she said to him, Que sera, sera, Whatever will be, will be…” then he stopped and asked Robert, “You like that song don’t you?” not waiting for an answer, he started it again…at least three more times. And yes…he did refer to Robert as a ‘little girl’ during the song.

Robert small talked with me about his personal life and Eskimo jumped into the middle of the conversation. I’ve known Robert for a lot of years and we’ve shared food, roller skating, poker games, and lots of conversation…but I skipped out of saying too much in this game. It was three handed and Eskimo was definitely in control of the entertainment committee.

When I left the game, Eskimo was chortling out his rendition of King of The Road…when he didn’t know the words, he hummed or “Ayahhhh…deedee…dahdah…” type of thing.

Hysterical!

*****

Then I had the misfortune of dealing to Rusty and falling into his slime pit because I couldn’t keep from lipping off to him. I hate it when I do that. Rusty plays $15-$30 Holdem…not on a regular basis on my shift, but often enough that I know I dislike dealing to him. He’s rude to everyone. It goes like this.

Everyone at the table was a new face, except for Rusty and he was in the 6s. The 9 and 10s were young and really inexperienced. I stated to both of them that they had to have one playable stack outside their racks. They sat out a stack but everytime they called or won a pot, the chips went back into the rack. I asked them more than once about the chips…it didn’t bother them but it did bother Rusty as I found out a few minutes later.

Rusty’s a stiff…maybe $1 a year but no more, and all the heat you can handle. The action in the game was great. Rusty won a pot and then lost several. His cards came in about a foot off the table and landed in the rack both times he lost. If I’d had my hands on the table he would have hit me. The second time the cards came sailing in, I told him to set them down and I’d pick them up. He said he was supposed to make sure the dealer got them when he threw them away. I replied, “No you aren’t. You set them down, I pick them up,” and I indicated a spot about a foot from his hand.

The next hand, he set them out one inch from his chips and leaned back in his chair. I waited. He waited. I said, “Push them in.”

He never moved.

I screamed for a decision. I got James. James is new on the Floor position and not very assertive, he wouldn’t have been my choice but…

I told James that the 6s had lofted his cards into the rack twice when he lost a hand. I had cautioned him and told him to set them down. Now he refused to push them in to me. James told Rusty he had to have forward motion on his cards. Rusty pushed them about five inches, I picked them up and finished the hand.

The 10s made an obvious String Bet. I called him on it and explained what he should do if he wanted to raise. Rusty did a “You come in here ordering everyone around…”

I leaned over the table at him and said, “Would you like me to run the game the way it should be ran, or according to you?”

He shut up. We got to the next hand. He went all-in, with five or six way action and he was the Big Blind. On the Flop, it went to three players, including hate beamer Rusty. I said, “Four players,” as I burned and turned.

Rusty jumped on that one so fast I’m surprised he wasn’t suing me for whip lash. He demanded, “Where do you see four players?”

I looked around the table and said, “Sorry, three players.”

He asked again, “Where do you see four players?”

I leaned across the table at him, one more time, and said, “I’ve already stated I made a mistake, what else is there?”

He glared at me.

I asked, “You hate everyone don’t you?”

No denying it, he said, “Yes!”

I said, “But mostly you hate yourself.”

He said, “Yes…(mumbled something like)…thought you’d throw up on that.”

Me, “Nope. I don’t have to take you home with me.”

Not to worry, he played this hand with 8-2 offsuit, flopped a pair of deuces, made eight’s up when another player made a flush on the Turn, and caught an eight on the River to make a Full House. Rusty tried to go broke but the deck wouldn’t let him.

The two seat made the Flush and as I pushed him the side pot, he asked, “Why did you have to give him a Full House? I know you didn’t want to.”

Jesus! Was he right on the money or what?

One of the strange hands that happen in poker, happened in this game. The 1s flopped a set of Treys, telling the 2s that he definitely had a hand as he bet…he was going all-in and it was almost as if he was begging the 2s not to call. BTW, the 2s raised it pre-flop. The 2s called the all-in bet. The Turn was an Ace, Set of Aces for the 2s, the River a trey, Quads for the 1s. They shook hands and laughed over it.

But back to the “Freak of the Year”, Rusty. The Chip Runner walked up and said, “ok, Linda.”

Obviously she was there for a fill but I was clowning around. I asked, “You ready to deal?”

Rusty jumped in, “I’d like to deal.”

Me, “Then fill out an application, we always need dealers.”

I counted out the bank for the fill and started laughing. I looked right at him and said, “I’d like to play while you’re dealing, Buddy!”

He said he’d really like to learn to deal if I taught him. PUKE! GAG! FRESH AIR PLEASE!

I ignored him and dealt the next hand. Jesus! Does it seem like this down lasted forever? Hell yes!

I got tapped out. I did my standard, “Thanks everyone, have a good night.”

Rusty, “Thanks for everything, Honey.”

Oh my God! I headed for the time clock and fresh air, big gulping, throat expanding, lung exploding gulps of it!

Sometimes before I fall asleep, I thank God I’m me and I ask Him to never let me be like the Rustys in life when I grow up…now if I could just learn not to respond to them.

I met a friend, through my site, in December, 2001. His name is Clark and he’d been reading the ‘dear diary’ and sent me an email. We’ve corresponded off and on for two and a half years now. I find his emails to be exceptionally refreshing, funny, and ‘off the wall’. I want to share this one. He sent it right after my post about Sam G. sending me the ‘hate ray’ looks in the post on 7/1/04.

Truthfully, I thought I’d fall on the floor and die laughing when I visited the link in his email…although his email had me in stitches also. Enjoy!

Need help reflecting the hate rays?

http://zapatopi.net/afdb.html

You are WELCOME.

Friends have a Sunday night game I’ve been invited to, so I’ve been going. Sort of. They’re kind of dorky about it–of course, one of them has to be there to be the bank and such; but they don’t seem to talk to each other about it, like who’s going to be there to do that and what time they will be available. They claimed the start time was 1900, but when I got there, it was obviously not the case. Next time, 1930 was good, but the time after that, they hadn’t started by 2100. I had been waiting about an hour, and you know, life is short, plus had to go to work the next day, and all that.

I talked to one of them about it, and she said that’s the nature of the beeste. Guess I need to find a different beeste. As much time as I waste just wrangling their logistics, I should drive to the casino. I would, but I have to sit down with $100 instead of $5, and that’s a big difference to me.

On the positive side, I played a total of four times there, and was up three and zero once. I thought that was good since we were playing dealer’s choice and not much hold’em.

They like a lot of wanker games, like Substitution and Shopping. I found out I like Deadwood a lot (7 card hi-lo 8 qualifier).

Anysway, I’m trying to play online at ultimatebet, but they require a PC, which I don’t have it, except at work, where I am afraid I will be busted down to my skivvies and shown the door with all deliberate speed if they catch me playing from their computer, even after hours with the door closed. So, I just spent a week trying to rehabilitate an old PC laptop my son gave me. I finally found the screen that told me there wasn’t any way to do that, so now I’m on the hunt again.

We had a card party and had a poker table going to be the “steno pool” for the games that require specific numbers of players (like bridge). I dealt most of the night instead of playing, and that was fun, too. Learned one of our friends is actually quite good at poker, although I don’t think he had played before. He’s not the kind of guy you expect that from, but there it is. I imagine he would be a very good player at the real deal because he is a very deliberate fellow. Anysway, I had quad 2s once, and that was nice.

Saw you on the tee vee at Aruba. Did you not deal WPT Bellagio (the one that just showed–the “championship”)? Are you watching the WPT this year? Does it seem to you like they are showing a lot less poker than last year–more stuff and nonsense? It really seems light compared to *Late Night*, *Championship from the Plaza*, and *WSoP* on Fox.

Man, we saw a GREAT semi-final game on *LN* a few weeks ago. They were all playing fast and tough and cutting each other in half. We felt wounded just watching, but it was GREAT POKER. We’d like to see Lucy Rokesh play over here in WSoP or some such.

Hope things turn out well w/your screenplay. I got rejected from *Weird Tales* about a month ago, ostensibly because what I sent them was science fiction and not a “weird tale”, whatever the ph*kk that means. It’s getting clearer to me why it is people start with books instead of short stories, but shorter stuff is what’s coming out, so…

I’ve been pricing a Vegas trip for my vacation next year. Any tips? Maybe I’ll see you at the table, if I can persuade Loui to go.

cjs

I started on Table 6, $20-$40 Omaha 8 or Better with a half kill. The game was mediocre. Double A must be on the losing streak of his lifetime because I never see him with a lot of chips and he’s always tight lipped and non-smiling. He’s one of my favorites, wish poker wasn’t so damn harsh at times.

The funny part of the game was when Morris won a hand. He hogged the pot and didn’t know it. They heckled him and told him he was just like Puggy. Morris said, “Puggy really had a swearing fit and gave the dealer hell today.”

I said, “Why don’t you tell him to knock it off.”

Morris, “Then he’d swear at me.”

Me, “You’re a man, you can handle it.”

Morris, “I couldn’t handle a five year old.”

Everyone cracked up. That was the high spot of the game.

*****

There was a little rock and roller $100-$200 Blind Holdem game on Table 8. It’s been a steady happening for the last week. Rock and roll is definitely the word for it. Lots of chips and action. The player in the 5s is the biggest part of the action as he likes to play a lot of hands out of position…position hell, he just likes to play a lot of hands.

He told the other players tonight that that’s why he won $18,000 one night last week, he plays anything that adds up to 20 or 19 suited…he lied…he turned over 9-10 Off and won a big pot with it. Hello Gamble!!!

He asked once, “Isn’t that right, Linda Baby?”

I smiled and agreed with him. Far be it from me to ever disagree with someone that wants to gamble and is having a good time doing it.

*****

I dealt a $15-$30 Holdem game that makes me wonder why anyone would ever complain about the ‘one player to a hand’ rule. The guy sitting behind his wife (she was in the 1s) talked to her in a foreign language from time to time. Neither one of them knew what ‘she’ was doing. At the end of my down, she asked if three pair beat two pair. With my best straight face in place, I explained that the best five cards played.

She turned to her husband and told him…he nodded as if he’d just figured out the secrets of the Universe.

I got pushed and ran for a ‘hand ranking’ card. Returned with it and gave it to him/her. How can you not love these games?

*****

A $25-$50 Blind NLH game was in progress and the guy in the 8s kept throwing all of his chips in…sometimes without looking at his cards. I dealt about fifteen minutes of the game and he went ‘bust’ and left and the game broke up. A few of the players were still sitting there talking but the game was over. Word at the table was that he’d gone through $10,000…just gave it away.

I got pushed. About fifteen minutes into my next down, the guy came back. The game cranked right up again. Wonder why…

Most of the last two weeks found me signing the EO/PLAY list. For those of you that aren’t familair with the term, when there are too many dealers for games spread, dealers can play on shift until they are needed in the line-up. It’s a draw by day of the week as far as who gets to play and who will deal…definitely NOT mandatory. The EO is short for early out. That’s also done by day of the week. While I did win playing poker, I did not win what I would have made if I’d dealt my shifts…my fun and goofy ‘poker playing on shift’ run is over…back to the Dealer’s Box. I’m OK with that. Sometimes it’s easier to deal than it is to play and put up with some of the dealers.

Now you’re wondering how I could even make that statement since I am a dealer…it’s quite easy. Right is right and wrong is wrong. At this moment, I choose not to mention their names, some of them are tournament dealers and I really don’t know them but a few are our regular room dealers and I don’t want the torment since I have to work with them everyday.

Two dealers allowed a person to take their bet back after there was action behind them.

The following dealer is one of them that allowed the player to take his money back and she makes more noise, while she’s dealing, than a building being imploded. The dust from the building hangs in the air forever and she seems to also.

She stomp shuffles the deck, the bets coming in, the players and the action. And she thinks she’s damn cute. She turned the River card face down (but another one of our dealers did that also) when everyone was hanging in the air waiting to see it. She smiled like it was a magic act and she was in control of the card…maybe even would make it disappear. UGH!!! She allowed a guy to pull a $100 bill from under his stack and hand it to his wife playing next to him. When a dealer behind her screamed, “SEAT OPEN TABLE 16.” She screamed, “JUST FILL IT YOURSELF, STEVE…no one gonna listen to you anyway.” She informed the table that the Brush Person on shift that day was one of the worst we’d ever had…mostly she said it to me but it went out to everyone. She had no idea who won the pot in one hand because she was busy watching everyone else and being cute.

Shit like this drives me crazy. I totally understand why a lot of players hate dealers and look down on them. I also understand that, in all professions, there is always going to be someone, someplace that sucks at their job and they are never going to improve or even try to. That still doesn’t mean I have to like it. It’s one of the reasons I don’t play for months at a time. I can’t stand to tip them (and I’m expected to tip more because I work there) for doing a job ‘poorly’ done and listen to and watch them while they’re doing it.

I’ve been a very busy kid. The screenplay is finally, really truly, done. X X X…that’s me crossing my fingers. I’m so relieved. It’s been an obsession for the last four months. I hope I don’t wake up in the night needing a fix. But not to worry, there’s more writing going on. I’m working on a book I started around the end of last year…and not to forget these pages.

So a short trip to Pokerland USA is in order.

Sam G. seems to be doing more sitting around as a ‘sweater’ than as a player lately. He did jump into a ‘must move’ $10-$20 NLH game I was dealing on Monday night. He had the minimum buy-in and it went into a pot about the fourth or fifth hand I dealt. It was four way action and he lost all of his checkers in the hand. He was the Small Blind and sat there after I moved the Button to him…without digging for chips or appearing to be ready to re-buy. I shuffled and dealt. Even without having chips in front of him, he’s entitled to be dealt in every hand until he’s missed his blind. He also has to re-buy for the minimum buy-in which is $600.

Don’t worry, as I came around with his first card, he gave me the ‘glare devil’ of all devil looks. It’s a good thing I’m made of steel and I can deflect those hate rays or my head might have exploded when they hit me. He took a hike but left some token on the table which locked up his seat. I got pushed a few minutes later so…maybe he returned, maybe he didn’t.

Archie K. – the guy that ran $10,000 into $34,000,000 back a few years ago, was playing $15-$30 7 Card Stud tonight. Ahhhh…you’re thinking it’s because he invested the $34M and he only plays low limit for fun now, right? Wrong! He’s a story alright. I got an email from someone that wanted to do a special on gambling and they wanted to talk to Archie as a possible host…they asked me if I could get in touch with him and have him call them back. I did but I had to go through the Greek Mafia in the Sports Book to do it. It was all very secret and one of them came to me later with a phone number for Archie. Sure, I called him and gave him the number of ‘them’. I haven’t seen him as a host on any tv show about gambling…but I do have his phone number. 🙂

I haven’t dealt any of the Festa Al Lago Tournament to date. I’ve dealt a few satellites and a super satellite but none of the tournament. I’ve been out of the line-up, playing more poker than I should but it’s been great fun. Soon I’ll be off to the yearly renzdevous in Idaho, the great family camp out, poker games, sleeping in a tent, campfires, hiking, my best little girlfriend will go with me after she flies in from Kansas City…sigh…I can hardly wait.

On that note, it’s time for sleep.

This was my week to sluff off dealing…and I did. I played three out of five nights in $4-$8 Holdem. Two wins, one loss, up a tad in $$, up a lot in fun and meeting new people.

Play #1. I met Steve, Nick, Derrick, and Randall in the same game.

Nick came cruising back to the table puffing on a cigar bigger than he is and I exclaimed, “Sir, this is a non-smoking room!”

He stopped, while the smoke wrapped around him, and asked the player in the 3s if it really was non-smoking. The player told him yes and then Nick tried to stop the cocktail waitress to see if he could drop the giant, smoldering, stench log into a cup on her tray. It was a no go so Nick had to head back out of the room to get rid of it. The smell lingered for a good ten minutes…ugh!

Nick swore, flipped chips, and acted like a big buffoon, but finally settled down and got to know us and we had a pretty good time. After all, he just turned 21, how the hell is he supposed to know how to act in a poker room?

Steve sat next to me and we visited through a few hours. Derrick and Randall were pretty low key and quiet, but then anyone was low key and quiet compared to Nick.

I met John on my way to the Cashier. We stood in line and visited for a few minutes. He’d seen me the day before and wanted to know if ‘this was me’. He just moved here from CA.

Play #2. I had to sit next to Paul (3s), grouch of the world, mad when he wins, mad when he loses…identified by two strange little frogs he puts on the table when he plays. Sometimes he has them stacked on top of each other…yes, as if they’re mating.

Paul can’t take a beat without going ballistic. When he takes a beat (even if it isn’t ugly) he stomps off to the outer realm of Casino Land. When he wins, he laughs and cackles and talks up his play and how he got there and how he thought about how he got there. Oh drear. Shut up and stack the chips already.

He got on my case because he wanted me to move closer to the 1s and squash him into the Dealer. I refused. Paul had a fit about his space and kept telling me to move over, although he had five inches between my arm and his, he wasn’t happy. I really wasn’t either because he’s never spent a dime on deoderant, but I wasn’t giving up my little piece of green felt to make him happy.

Every time Paul had a fit, two guys at the other end of the table started laughing and looked at me. I, of course, started laughing too. They did their best to beat Paul in every hand…usually he beat himself.

Steve (from the night before) sat down in this game in the 4s. Paul mumbled and grumbled to Steve about everything and Steve did his best to tune Paul out.

I made one hand in this game…this was the losing night. I picked up Q-Q and raised. I got Steve and a couple of other callers. The Flop was 10-8-?. Steve bet, everyone folded to me, I raised, Steve raised, and I called.

The Turn was a Queen, Steve checked, I bet, he called. The River was a Jack and Steve checked. So did I. Steve had 10-10. He flopped a Set and I turned a bigger one. My first and last pot in about four hours. Hell no, I’m not crying, it’s just the way poker goes.

Two youngsters from TX sat down, one took the 1s and one took the 5s. They were both pretty quiet and didn’t do much in chip movement for awhile. The 1s and I talked about the NLH Tournament that’s in progress now at Bellagio. Then the two of them ended up heads up, one flopped a set of Fours, the other flopped a set of Kings. They were cute in their banter back and forth and play against each other…no holds barred on their betting and raising.

Play #3. I had to deal Table 1 before I got out to play. It was $800-$1,600 Mixed game and Curtis was in the 8s, losing and crying. It took a tremendous amount of control on my part to remain calm and not lip off to him as he ‘thanked me’ when he lost, made all kinds of comments about never tipping again, and ‘I knew she’d put the card up that could beat me’, and on and on and on.

The table has an automatic shuffler and a different deck was in play every hand but I did it to him.

Once in an 8 or Better hand, when he was heads up with Jennifer, she raised on 6th Street, he threw his bet out and one of his $500 chips bounced into her bets in front of her. I took the $500 and put it back in the bets in front of him. Yet when the hand was over and they split the pot, he asked her to count down the chips in front of her because he was sure one of his $500 chips had gone into her stack of bets.

I told him that I had put it back in front of him and he complained that he couldn’t believe anything good would happen to him and he was going to count it down anyway.

Well, ok then. They counted down their bets and they were equal. But nothing was ever said about that.

I knew I was getting out of the line-up at 8 p.m. A new dealer went past me to Table 2 because they were taking my place. I was about two minutes from getting pushed and Curtis stopped Carmen, “Carmen, the push went right on by her. They didn’t even come here.”

Carmen stopped and looked at me. I finally said, “I’m getting out of the line-up on the push, Carmen.” She walked off.

I wanted to let Curtis stew over the fact that it’s really none of his business…as in who gets pushed by who and what/who runs the line-up, but I didn’t want Carmen to take any heat. That’s the only reason I said anything.

WELL on to Play #3. I had a lot of fun. I met, Mike, Victor, and Joe…all youngsters that laughed and played poker. I got lucky on a few hands and picked up $$$.

One of our dealers, Joe E., got in the game for a brief play and put the straddle on it when he was UTG.

I was fortunate enough not to pick up any hands during that time period…it’s sort of like the calf being led to slaughter. The chips are flying and the worst hand before the Flop is usually going to win.

There was a lot of banter and Mike was a kick. You’d have to be there to get into the full swing of it.

The 6s…sheesh, I have to find out this guys name…mentioned in the June 23rd post as the 8s, was in this game. He talked nonstop. He had Doyle’s book, Super Systems, that he pulled out of a case. The book had no covers and was worn and ragged.

He said he’s had it for 20 some years and read and read and read, except the part written by Bobby Baldwin (except he referred to Bobby as the President of this place). He had a page out of the book that was tattered and folded and falling apart. He showed it to everyone. It has Bobby Baldwin’s and David Sklansky’s autograph on it. He wants Doyle’s and Chip’s autograph too.

It was motion and commotion for the few hours I spent there. Then…the Time Clock, the heat of the night, the cooling calmness of my home and two days off. Thank you, GOD!

I’ve often wondered how I would handle being skilled in the art of magic or having celestial power. I’m sure God knew what he was doing when he made me mortal. He knew I wouldn’t be able to handle all that power and I might just send the Card Fairy out after a few poker playing dolts. Well damn it, they deserve it.

1) J.J. He’s mentioned a few weeks ago because he’s being the brattiest of the brats and meaner than hell lately. I hit a $30-$60 Holdem game and the 3s is walking. Half way through my down, Mr. Wonderful appears. None other than J.J. himself.

J.J loses a hand. The 4s wins the pot and throws me a $1.

J.J. barks, “That’s just what you deserve.”

The 4s throws me another $1.

J.J. growls, “If I win a pot, I’m going to give you fifty cents.”

Swear to God, I just busted out laughing. He thinks he’s killing me by threatening me with a fifty cent tip, I think he’s ridiculous.

A few minutes later, the action is to the 2s and J.J. throws his hand away. I said, “Hold your hand until he acts, please.”

J.J., “He was reaching.”

Me, “Reaching does not constitute action.”

J.J., “Then tell him to hurry up and not make me wait for him.”

Me, “I will not.”

J.J., “You should tell him to play faster.”

Me, “I should do no such thing. Just act in turn.”

Woops! Guess I just cost myself fifty cents. Come on Card Fairy…

2) $4-$8 Holdem, only two familiar faces in a ten handed game.

The 4s (one of the familiar faces) plays occasionally and is never a big hit in terms of being friendly and getting along with everyone. He’s more prone to cause a problem than he is to help solve one.

The 6s had no idea what it was to him or when it was his turn to act and had to ask “how much?” every time the bet came to him but he wanted to play every hand and he did.

The 8s (one of the familiar faces) has been playing for about two months and he plays every night and likes to sing, chortle, joke, chuckle, gee-haw, and in general have a good time while he drinks and plays poker…this doesn’t make him a bad guy, it’s just that everyone always knows when he’s in the game.

The 10s was a youngster, drunk, belligerent and not having a very good time.

The first hand I dealt, the 6s asked, “How much?” when the action came to him.

Immediately the 4s chimed in, “You can raise it!”

The 10s said, “He’s a retard, how can he not know how much it is?”

I asked both the 4s and the 10s to stop. I went to the 6s and got through the first hand with him asking me, every time, what the bet was to him.

We went to hand #2, same story, the 10s kept mumbling the 6s was a retard. I told the 10s that was enough and it was to stop now. The 4s chimed in again, “You can raise.”

Everytime the 4s and the 10s opened their mouth, the 6s was confused and didn’t know what to do.

I went into a semi-fit. “That’s enough! Stop making comments and let me answer his questions.”

The 4s said, “He played all night last night, there’s no way he doesn’t know what the bet is.”

I went almost ballistic. “I don’t care if he’s played the last six months. When he asks me how much the bet is, I’m going to tell him and you are going to stop.”

Now the 10s got really cute. As soon as the bet came to him, he asked, “How much?”

I told him, he asked again, I told him, he asked again. I said, “You will either stop now and play the game or I’m calling the Floor Person.”

He repeated, “How much is it to me?”

Tang was the Front Brush and I yelled, “Tang! Tang! Get Kamell for me.”

Tang called Kamell over the microphone.

I had dealt the hole cards and had the deck in my hand. I sat and waited.

The 8s pointed to the 10s and said, “He’s ok! He’s been drinking. He’s just having fun. You can deal.”

By now I was wishing I was the Card Fairy…splat, flip, boom, pow!

I said, “NO. We’ll wait.”

Kamell arrived. I told him the 4s kept interrupting with a challenge that the 6s seat could raise, each time the 6s asked me how much the bet was to him. And the 10s kept calling the 6s a retard and I’d asked him to stop and he wouldn’t. And now the 10s refused to do anything other than ask how much it was to him and wouldn’t act on his hand.

The 10s immediately apologized. Kamell told them all that they would behave and play cards. (I say slap them with a little mischevious, devious trick on their cards, Card Fairy!)

The 10s immediately began raising in the blind, telling me “…between you and me, I’m raising every time it comes to me.”

I asked him where he was from and he said, “Not trying to be rude but, none of your fucking business.”

I hid my smile and replied, “Ok.”

He dumped off about $100 right away. The cocktail waitress arrived and asked him if he wanted another ‘makers’. He said, “No, I’m just fucking fine, just like the dealers.”

I started laughing. The 8s started laughing because he thought I was being harsh with the 10s and the 8s was trying to get me to ease up.

The 10s kept talking in my ear, something about he was going to stay and play until he lost $3,000 because he felt bad about the money his mom lost and if he could say ‘that’ word he would.

I asked him why he didn’t just stay and win.

He said they were all a bunch of retards.

I asked, “How could you believe that holding up the game and making comments about people would make the game better?”

The 8s jumped in, trying to look like a good guy, problem solver, “He’s alright, he’s just been drinking.”

I barked, “Stay out of this.”

The 10s told me again that they were all a bunch of retards and kept slamming chips at the pot.

I didn’t mind him calling them ‘all’ retards. I minded two players nit picking and laughing at a new player that’s trying to learn the game.

And check this out, one of the last hands I dealt was raised pre-flop. It ended up being three way action with A-K-J-?-Q on the board. Of course a 10 made a straight. The 5s bet, the 6s called, the 1s raised, the 5s raised, the 6s asked if he could raise and he did, the 1s raised, the 5s and the 6s called.

The 5s and the 1s both turned over a 10 with a big kicker. The 6s turned over Q-9 Off-suit. The 6s put in a raise with third pair, no kicker, on the River.

No, I’m not making fun of him. I’m pointing out the fact that these idiots want to make fun of him and possibly embarrass him into leaving, believing that they are all laughing at him.

Get them Card Fairy, paint their cards into something else at the River. Punish them for being ‘the retards’.

I’m trapped in a screen play. It’s the first and last thing running through my head each day, mingled into everything else I’m trying to do. I am excited about it and like the way it’s moving, especially after receiving feed back from some good friends that have given me new insight and different avenues to consider. I’m hoping another week will put me right where I want to be with it and then…well, baby, the sky’s the limit.

*****

I dealt an unfriendly little $600-$1200 mixed game on Table 1. Curtis, Shaun, Oscar, and Eli E. Curtis made quads twice, once in 7 stud, and he wasn’t happy about it because he caught Aces up showing. Although he didn’t make quad Aces, he made quad deuces and got paid off to the River, he still complained.

Then he made quads in High Low Regular, heads up, and had to split the pot and he complained about that too. More than once he made the comment that if “they” (the other players) had been running as bad as he has, they wouldn’t be able to stand it.

Oh well…the rest of the poker world goes through the same shit every day, most of them just don’t cry about it.

*****

The $10-$20 Blind NLH game had a lot of action in it and someone said Chris Moneymaker had been there earlier.

*****

The most fun game of the night was a $2-$4 NLH game. The player in the 3s asked me if I was Linda from Pokerworks. We visited back and forth during my down. His name is Ron and he’s from TX. He is a true fan of this site and was extremely good to me in flattering my writing, the time it takes to post here, throwing money in my pocket, and meeting me.

He got involved in a three way action pot, the other two players were all-in for different amounts. One player held A-A, and for the life of me I can’t remember what the other player had but I believe it was A-Q or A-J. Ron had 8-8. The Flop was Q-8-? with an 8 on the Turn.

He threw me a big tip and blurted out, “See what happens when you’re nice to Linda.”

His whole appearance and mannerisms were top of the line. He loves the Sam G. posts…who doesn’t? He said sometimes he felt really bad for me when he read some of them and other times he couldn’t stop laughing.

Fortunately for the rest of us that live and work in Vegas, Sam must be in CA at a tournament because he’s a “No Call/No Show” on my shift the last week or so.

*****

My site is being moved to another server, that means no posting or changes to anything by me for a few days. Maybe that will give me time to find the escape hatch from the ‘screen play time warp’.

$4-$8 Holdem. A gent that’s been playing in the room for at least six months was in the 10s. He won a pot. While I dealt the next hand, he asked when the third dollar was taken for the rake, was it taken on $50 or $60? I told him $50. He said, “Look!”

I looked at his chip stacks and he had $49 stacked out in front of him. “That’s all that was in the pot.”

I said, “Yes.”

He said, “Well it’s not $50.”

I said, “Add $3.”

He looked at me like I’d lost my mind.

I repeated, “Add $3.”

“Oh…” the light went on “you take it out of a $50 pot.”

I nodded. The game went on. It was a crazy little jammer as all of the $4-$8 Holdem games seem to be anymore. There’s very little learning going on with a lot of them, they just came to play.

Which brings me to another thought on people that haven’t learned much from their table time. He’s good looking, clean and neat, great smile, early 30’s, and a veteran of the $8-$16 Holdem game. He wears heavy duty headphones and is armed with an MP3 Player and stacks of chips. He’s got the Heart of a Lion when he plays and is charming and upbeat when he’s winning. When he has a bad day and is getting drop kicked around the table, the wrath of Godzilla’s Mother-in-law couldn’t compare to Tony’s tongue and explosive anger.

The game had a ton of action…too much for the player that can’t mix it up and shift gears. Of the ten players at the table, I only knew two of them, Tony in the 5s, and an elderly gent in the 1s. For the first fifteen minutes of my down, the chips rolled in and out, people jammed it up, the 3s was d-r-u-n-k and kept slamming chips in with ATC. He went BUST and left the game.

The 9s won a big pot and the next hand the bet went to $24 pre-flop with seven way action. The Flop was a Jack with small cards and one Club. Action, action, action.

The Turn brought the Jack of Clubs. More action.

The River brought a Club and Tony and the 8s checked. The 9s bet. Another player in between called the bet and Tony hesitated and finally called, as did the 8s. Tony mumbled something like, “You didn’t catch runner-runner Club did you?”

Sure enough, the 9s turned over the K-2C. Tony turned over J-9 offsuit or something like that and slapped the table so hard they could’ve heard it on the Strip. He had a fit, went into the ‘NICE runner, runner Club, SIR!”

Then he went on to exclaim that the guy called a capped raise before the Flop with K-2.

I said, “No…it wasn’t capped.”

The Super Rant was on. He just couldn’t shut up about bad players and how he’d gotten beat with A-A earlier by 9-7 Offsuit.

I asked, “What difference does it make, whether it was suited or not?” trying to get past it and stop his poker face from leaking all over the table. Believe me, there weren’t enough bandages in the world to do that.

He just couldn’t let it go. He went on and on about getting beat by bad players. I finally said, “You need to change the way your thinking about this.”

(And I know Tony away from the table so it’s not as if I’m punishing him after he’s taken a beat. There’s another post here about his attitude along the same vein about a year ago.)

Definitely defiant, he exclaimed, “I hate getting beat by a BAD PLAYER.”

I almost laughed, “What? How do you know who’s a bad player?”

He said he didn’t care if he got beat but not by a bad player.

I told him to stop it, there was no need to make statements like that at the table.

He put his hand out, across the table, in the direction of the 1s and said, “I’m sorry you’re a bad player, Sir.”

I wanted to slap him. He made himself look so bad.

The 5s and I were both laughing because we were trying to figure out how you know someone’s a bad player.

Should all players be forced to take a quiz and if they fail, they have to wear a stamp on their forehead that reads: Bad Player?

Better yet, what should the players that want to tell people they’re a bad player have to wear on their foreheads? Tony?