why I haven’t been here.  I just haven’t. The point is I’m here now. And yes, I’m still trying to figure out what makes what tick – then perhaps I will know the answer to me. I’m caught in a jumble of confusion. Perhaps it stems from childhood issues of spending my life chumming the highways and byways of the western United States as my mom vacuum sealed eight of us kids into the back seat of a car and spent her days chasing her man as he continually moved from one place to another.  Yeah, her man was my dad – and the rest of my back seat buddies that probably hated to be next to my whiny ass because I was always car sick.

Sometimes I still am – car sick that is.  Too much movement where I can’t focus on the road ahead makes me feel sick to my stomach.  But doesn’t that describe a lot of things? Right now I’m trying to find some kind of stable footing but life keeps moving me around and the road ahead is a blur.  I think the confusion starts with me since I tend to believe that one day things will quiet down and life will be laid back and easy.  Of course I’m wrong!  It’s always a strange, convoluted burst of emotion and gamut of events that keep coming at you at light speed, to ensure that you cannot focus on the road ahead and the motion never ends.  I realize it happens to everyone else, it just seems way over the top extreme because I’m living it.

I now have a weekend roommate that I didn’t plan on.  He’s 7, hates the thought of school and even talking about it, he would much rather play games – mental, emotional, and digital – than have to sit down and look at some form of reading or writing. Yes, my new found roommate is my buddy Riot.  Dadparental is out of town working and the outcome of that isn’t known yet.  Momparental is now demanding willing to give up Riot’s care for 3 1/2 days of each week as is in their custody agreement.  I’m not listed in the custody agreement but I’m part of the package of care.

We spent four days together over last week, the Rioteer and I.  It can be mind numbing at times.  Mr. Never-Slow-Down, “I’m not hungry!” – “I want to play the Wii!” – “No, I’m not going to read a book!” – “I’m not tired!” can use up all of the patience I’ve managed to store over a year’s time in one quick WHOOSH.  But I’m out planning him.  I know his game plan.  He does like to play mind games because he’s watched others that are very close to him do it so I opt to remain completely calm and withdrawn from his playing field when he starts. When school starts I will pick him on Friday when school gets out and return him to Momparental on Sunday p.m.  Umnhhhh…yes!  It’s a long fucking drive.

On other subjects, the truckers are home and have been for about five weeks or so.  They may be here another four to five weeks.  They are very busy working on a yard project, an above ground pool and a giant wrap-around deck, complete with plants and patio tile in the lower half of the project…like the deck comes out the back of the house and wraps half the above ground pool…steps down to a patio tile area that wraps the other half of the pool.  It’s pretty kewl.  All I can say is I’m glad I’m not still parked there, if I was, I think they may have expected me to help – and the saws and drills starts early and end up late in the night when the weather cools a lot of the time.

I’m not a sunny side up, sit by the pool kind of person.  And not even much for just going for a dip really, it’s not appealing most of the time.  The early a.m./late evening swims in Aruba were great!

What I’m listening to most the last few days:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ6zr6kCPj8[/youtube]

Some of it reminds me of dance styles my mom did. This weekend I’ll trap Riot into learning the steps with me…he loves to dance.

While out with Scout, I found these lurkers around the foundation of the house late night:

Haven’t figured out how I got such a great shot of the widow.  It was blacker than a tar miner’s boot heel and I had a flashlight but couldn’t use it and take the picture.  I knew it was about 3 feet in front of me though.

This one was about two inches long, I’d heard/read about them but really hoped I would never see one.  They can get quite large, the best description of them is at National Geographic. Scout ran up and stuck her nose on it, it sat there.  When the flashlight beam hit it, it moved.  They are nocturnal…or so the story goes.

The bug population in the desert is completely mind boggling.  I’d rather not go there with now…they really bother me in a house, not outside so much, and I’m having a few issues with it.

My roommate taking the inaugural swim in the pool at sis’s place:

Scout and I walk the desert every evening just at sundown, she’s put a few rabbits on the run but not caught up with them – yeah, she was too fat and they started about 30 yards from her.  She’s losing weight…watch out wabbits.  I have an electronic collar for her for the desert trekking.  Once we get off road, she’s off leash. She loves it, I love it!  The collar has come into play very little because she’s very responsive, the only time there would be a problem is if she’s over excited over another approaching dog (she can be pretty mean in that respect) or a rabbit or the possibility of a coyote.  I don’t mind her getting the rabbit – don’t really want her tangling with a coyote because I don’t want her chewed up, although I don’t believe she’d lose the fight, she could be damaged and that’s not good. The collar is to get her attention when voice commands don’t work.  I don’t want her sprinting off into the desert and getting lost or hurt.

We’ve had threatening storm clouds for a week with high humidity and mild doses of wind.  Two days ago it rained all day…not a bad thing except for the desert silt/gumbo.  Scout hates the rain, Riot loved it.  I have the front of the house set with a patio tile walk way and he spent over a half hour out just dancing in the rain.  He went home later that afternoon and we had a disagreement so he wouldn’t talk to me for most of the ride.  I left it at that.  He’s going to be a great poker player, if the rules go his way, they are OK, if not, he’s not a happy camper.  And he’s very stubborn, it should be interesting.

Still no poker from my side of the street.  I did get a reload bonus notification from Carbon Poker but right now I can’t even find the time to continue watching the Ally McBeal series on Netflix.  I’d love to play poker.  I’d love to watch more of the series, it just isn’t happening right now.  I feel cheated by the government STILL!  The poker issue is pitiful – PokerWorks WCOOP Freerolls are running at PokerStars and there’s a PokerStars VIP Mega Month going on too; Everest Poker is running Freerolls to the EPIC and here I sit in the good old, protected from gaming USA.  It’s pukable!

Yikes, the road ahead is blurred and there’s some motion going on.

Time to go…