They are everywhere out there. I just don’t seem to run in to them very often anymore and I prefer it that way. I did have a shift on Tuesday night that allowed me to experience three of them first hand.

The first one was playing in a must move $10-20NLH game. The game was short handed, he was in the 7s, and when he placed a bet, he threw out $140 in $20 chips. One of them landed back of the line that’s on all of Bellagio’s tables now. The line is specifically for NLH and NLH Tournament play and designates that once you drop or cut off $$ over that line, it is a bet/call. No…we still don’t have a ‘forward motion’ rule…we have a ‘cut off or drop chips rule’. I pushed the straggler, that didn’t make it over the line, back to him and announced that it was a $120 bet.

He pushed it back over the line. I pushed it back and explained that the line was the designated cut off for a bet unless the bet was verbally stated. He bluntly retorted, “I disagree!”

I had just had an incident the night before in the main game $10-20NLH, when Lewis reraised pre-flop to $400 only he threw out four black chips and one of them didn’t cross the line. I stated it was a $300 bet. I ended up calling the floor person for a decision because one of the players in the game (not Lewis)said that none of the players there objected to it being a $400 bet. EXCUSE ME! I don’t even know if I have the energy to get into defending house rule. That’s why we have house rule -so the rules don’t change every 30 seconds or so depending on who is playing the game. And how do we all really know that one player at the table doesn’t object but doesn’t want to say something because they don’t want to be alienated and create a rift with their fellow players. It also prevents players from taking a shot. If the bettor sees an opponent reaching for a huge stack of chips and is going to get raised, now they can save that chip that didn’t cross the line if they were on a steal, etc., etc., etc. Nuff said!

I told him I could call the floorman for clarification if he would like. He didn’t say anything else. He acted reallystern but like he might have a soft side hidden somewhere underneath. I couldn’t help but smile over the whole thing.

A few hands later he did the same thing. I pushed the straggler back and announced $120. He pushed the straggler back across the line. I pushed it back. He pushed it back. When he got check raised, he pulled the straggler back to him but I could tell he was irritated with me. He ended up winning that particular pot. He had A-A and pulled a pot that had around $2,500 in it.

He tossed out a $1 chip – on his side of the line – as a tip. I thought about just leaving it there. I rapped it and said, “Thank you,” just as I started dealing the next hand. The guy next toRUDE#1 made the comment that the $1 wasn’t over the line.RUDE#1 stated that that was exactly why he left it there.

Thanks, RUDE#1! I guess I’m supposed to jump through hoops for a dollar toke. I wouldn’t even do it for a $1,000 toke so please save your time and energy if we meet again.

I even tried to break the ice with him one last time before I left the game – which makes me wonder about myself, why do I give a Flying Fuck?

We had a new player sit down and elect to buy the button. RUDE#1 was the button. The player UTG raised to $60. Everyone folded to RUDE#1. As he folded, he stated that UTG was out of turn and should have waited to raise until the action came around. Both UTG and I explained that the new player had bought the button and UTG was acting in turn.

RUDE#1 said that wasn’t what he meant, that UTG should have waited.

I asked RUDE#1 what he meant. He informed me that he would not repeat his statement. I couldn’t help but laugh and I was laughing when I looked at him and said, “You just don’t like me.” Honestly, it was meant in a fun way.

He then informed me that he wasn’t there to like anyone, blah, blah, blah. I gave up, finished that down and moved off to a $15-30 LH game where people were laughing and talking.

My next game was spent with RUDE#2, $20-40 7 card stud.

One of my favorite of all time favorites was in the 2s. Vince Stella, known as Vinnie around the card rooms, has been a bright spot on any horizon over the years of dealing poker in Vegas. There were a few new faces in the game and the 1s ended up being RUDE#2.

The $20-40 7 card stud game is always started on table 29. The shuffle master on this table sits in a hole and is propped up with ink pens along the under edge to keep it level with the table top. But on this particular day, a clear chip spacer (a small, clear plastic chip placed in the chip tubes to separate chips into stacks of 20), was stuck under the edge of the shuffle master on the player’s side. This chip spacer sticks up about a half inch and impedes all movement of chips and cards going to the left hand side of the table. The shuffle master is also out of kelter with everything and the lid drops just a micro amount below where it should so all chips and cards manage to catch on it when they are being pushed to or away from the dealer.In otherwords, it’s a total pain in the ass and manages to cut at least one to two hands from each dealer’s down in just trying to work around it.

When I sat down, Vinnie said hello and as always, we banter for a few sentences about running the Turkey Trot this year. After that I dealt. Only calling the low card, high card, raises, etc., and didn’t say anything. Then I went into dealer brain lock and for some bizarre reason I announced, “Three players,” as I burned and dealt the three players their fourth card.

Along the lines of a human reaction, I laughed at myself and exclaimed, “Wrong game. I don’t know why I did that.”

RUDE#2 gruffly reprimanded me, “You shouldn’t be laughing. We are playing for real money here.”

I was totally taken aback and defended myself, “I wasn’t laughing over that, I was laughing at myself…”

Vinnie immediately said, “I thought it was funny.”

Vinnie and RUDE#2 went to war with raises and action – not because of the verbal exchange.

Then as Murphy’s Law would dictate, my cuff caught the muck cards under my arm as I prepared to deal 6th street. Of course some of them were pushed up against the lip of the shuffle master that wouldn’t allow the cards to just slide over it, two of the cards popped up. One of those cards – aseven – was showing in RUDE#2’s up cards.

RUDE#2 got ugly and his conversation snapped out into something like this, “There isn’t a dealer here that can deal without making a mistake or exposing cards.”

God I love Vinnie. He immediately said, “Linda is the best dealer in Vegas.

I was already embarrassed because I’d called the # of players in the hand. Now I was ready to crawl under the table because of the exposed cards.

RUDE#2 went on, complaining that I’d exposed cards, blah, blah, blah.

I wasn’t even going to try and explain that I’d been navigating around the shuffle master during my down.

Vinnie continued, as he fired out a bet, “If you played around town at all, you would know Linda is the best.”

RUDE#2 prodded Vinnie, “What did you say?

Vinnie, “You wouldn’t know a good dealer if you saw one.”

RUDE#2, “FUCK OFF!”

It was going to get really ugly. I immediately called for a decision. Vinnie remained his usual calm, gentlemanly self, as RUDE#2 became more rude and obnoxious. Our brush person arrived. I explained only that the 1s had told Vinnie to ‘f’ off. The brush told the 1s he was not going to swear and behave that way as the 1s sputtered and flustered that the dealer was dropping and exposing cards. Bull Shit! I did not drop any cards. The brush person firmly stated that the swearing would stop now, told me to call him back immediately if anything else happened, and left.

RUDE#2 immediately took a walk. I waited until the air cleared and thanked Vinnie for my defense. He said, “NO ONE is going to give you a bad time when I’m around, Linda.”

See why I love this guy.

Another regular player stated that RUDE#2 had been giving everyone a bad time for quite awhile.

One of the horrible things about poker games is that most players sit silently and allow someone’s bad behavior for hours for the sake of the game. Believe me, it doesn’t make for a better poker game. Once a rude player knows that someone at the table isn’t going to tolerate it, it normally stops immediately.

RUDE#2 came backand racked up about 10 minutes later but left his chips on the table. He was playing on through the night when I left the room later. I did report him to the swing shift supervisor in the event that I would deal to him again, I want ‘history’ available if I have to call someone.

Almost at the end of my shift, I met RUDE#3. When I dealt a $4-8H table, one of the players in my game was telling me there was a celebrity in the next game I was going to. That game was right behind me and the game was very noisy. They were all either having a great time or a horrible time trying to be heard over the din. Celebrity, shmelebrity, I wouldn’t know most of them if they grabbed my arm and introduced themselves. I did figure the celeb was the guy that was almost 7 foot tall. I was right.

He also turned out to be RUDE#3. He wasn’t horribly mean or rude but he was rude and I believe I irritated him because I cautioned him at one point and he didn’t like it. His name is Jack Haley. He was in the 2s. A beauty queen was in the 1s and her grandmother was seated behind her sweating her play (I only know this because of listening to the conversation) and I do not know if the beauty queen knew the 2s or not before taking a seat in the game. It’s hard to tell in the heat of a poker game and a lot of chips flying in and out of pots. Itwent like this:

The only other woman in the game was in the 6s and she was not happy. There were no smiles, not much in the way of conversation in her direction, and she appeared to be having a horrible time over all. The rest of the table was guys, testosterone jammed up the nostrils until the brain cavity is at capacity overload kind of guys. They were all having fun and jamming. They were talking and laughing and jibing with me about being from Montana.

The 1s seemed almost timid and very indecisive about her poker play but I couldn’t tell if it was because Jack was critiquing every move she made and telling her what she should have done and didn’t do right, or if it was because she was fairly new to NLH and each flop cost around $25 with multi-way action.

The part where Jack became irritated with me was when the 1s made a bet all-in, setting out an incomplete stack, and Jack reached over and broke it down, counting it out, “$85 and she’s all-in.”

I cautioned him by stating that he shouldn’t touch her chips and he shouldn’t count her down; it was my job and only if one of the players asked how much she had bet.

She got called and lost the hand.

As I pushed the pot and prepared to put the deck in the shuffle master, the 1s and Jack were having a mini discussion and I asked if she wanted to be dealt in. Jack had pulled out three $100 bills and said she was playing $300 as he put the bills in front of her. As I came around with the second round of cards, the bills were now in front of Jack, not the 1s. I simply asked, “She’s playing $300 behind?”

Jack gave me this routine,”How many times do you have to be told? Just call for chips. She’s playing $300,” like I was a gnat that kept buzzing around his navel because I couldn’t fly high enough to get up his nose.

I suppose I shouldn’t have asked. But the main reason I did was because she didn’t seem to want to play anymore after she went broke and one second the bills were in front of her because he laid them there and the conversation between them was ongoing while I was dealing the first round of cards, and then the bills were right in front of him. I feel it’s imperative, especially in NLH, for everyone to know what is going on and how much is in play in a hand. With the tone of the game, I felt his reply to me was completely rude. Oh well.

The 1s won a big pot. She gave me a nice tip. Yippee! Jack kept talking to her and left me alone. Yippee! Then she won a pot that had close to $1,700 in it. Another nice tip for me. I was off to my last game of the night.

My last game was a short handed $5-10NLH game and they had me laughing through most of it. Nice ending.

I can write the dialogue for a HBO series named ‘The RUDES’ if any producer is interested.