Sometimes you just want to laugh your butt off when you’re reclining in the dealer’s seat, doing nothing, kicked back and relaxing, feet up…after you make sure everyone knows the cocktail waitress is there, all the bets are called (in turn), you cut off chips for a $100 and push the change to the better/caller and neatly stack the bet (in place) in front of the player, make sure the guy that can’t figure out what his name is or where he lives, knows what the bet is (when he’s asked you every time a bet is placed for the last 15 minutes), listen to the guy that wants a set-up, note that the 10s is pounding you on the arm telling you he wants a seat change, and you’re trying to put up 4th street, still smile and act nonchalant and care free even as the 5s is sending you glare devils (and ready to rip up his cards), and you’re trying to answer tourist questions from the 3s, when the 4s wants you to notify the brush that he wants a table change, and the 8s is folding out of turn, and don’t forget to rake the pot…

Oh hell, there’s nothing to it. Just another eight hours in the sandbox playing with your buddies. Only your the traffic director and you’re in charge of all the toys in play and toy distribution.

Of course, every now and then, you have a little altercation with someone that makes you want to spit, snort, paw the ground, and charge. But instead you parry and dance around their intrusive anger and comments until the situation smoothes out and dies down. One example is Uncle Eddy.

He plays low limit 7 Card Stud, $15-$30 Holdem, $4-$8 Holdem and $8-$16 Holdem. On some days, he’s shining with tales of old, knows lots of players from lots of places and really can be quite entertaining to listen to. Let’s assume that’s when he’s winning because there’s another side to him that gets downright < <((((U-G-L-Y-Y-Y))))>>

You push into an $8-$16 Holdem game. A few friendly faces, a few new faces, and Eddy in the 8s, a woman in the 10s that’s really a novice but she’s trying to learn and even has a friend sitting behind her that had played $30-$60 earlier in the day…anyway that’s what the conversation at the table implied.

The 10s makes a number of calls that cost her most of the chips she has in the rack in front of her and she has a $100 bill underneath it. The bill is laid flat and spreading 3/4’s of the length of the clear, plastic rack and appears to be visible to everyone at the table. Bellagio allows racks on the table and lots of people, in all limits, put $100’s underneath the rack, their chips, their coffee cups, etc. She isn’t doing anything that a 1,000,000 other players haven’t done.

Eddy is short stacked and takes a few flops that end up on Nowhere Avenue. In a charming manner he says, “You might want to tell her she has to make the $100 bill visible,” as he motions to the 10s.

As I shuffle the deck, “It’s visible.”
Eddy loses all the charm he’d ever tried to save and bottle during his life and spouts off with, “Just because you can see it doesn’t mean the other players can see it! It has to be visible to play.”

I act really stupid here. “It’s visible and lots of players put their bills under the rack. But thank you for your help.”

I finish dealing the hand and as the action starts, he begins to harp, “This is the only place in the world you can even have a rack on the table. That’s the stupidest rule I’ve ever seen…” and on and on and on….

As I finish dealing the hand, I turn to the 10s and ask, “Would you mind if we set the bill out a little bit so everyone can see it?”

She replies, “Oh no!”

Very demure and helpful, she slides the bill out so half of it is sticks out from under the rack.

Eddy never even slows down or stops to swallow spit as he rambles on, “I sat in the dealer’s box for 40 years and I never allowed…”

I stop dealing; I open my right hand and hold it out to him and in a firm but calm voice ask, “I’ve already thanked you for your help, she has already moved the bill out to where it’s visible to everyone at the table, what else would you like?”

He stops the ramble immediately and the game goes on without a hitch. See! I dance the dance but I know when it’s time to stop letting them step on my toes.

*****
This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.