Welcome to Hell

You sit down in the dealers box, scramble up the deck, and shuffle and deal the first hand of your shift. The player in the 3 seat has “the look” tattooed on his/her face – can’t be removed even with laser surgery. Of course you know what “the look” is. There’s anger, hatred, frustration and blind, stupid, ‘I’m to dumb to figure it out’, pouring out of their eyes and it’s all directed right at you.

Win or lose, that player is going to try to make your life as miserable as possible throughout the short time you spend dealing to him/her. Their cards either come in just short of light speed or they sit one inch from the player’s hands.

Now you have to rely on your basic interpretation of body language skills. Although you believe the player’s done with that hand, you might reach for them and have your hand smacked or your head bitten off because you tried to take their cards. If you sit and wait, the player will eventually “flick” them at you or ask you what your problem is because they folded an hour ago. Of course this type of player always sits in the 3 or 7 seat and you are going to REACH, or keep your hands off the table to avoid having them sliced off by the cards, for the duration of your set.

Don’t worry, even if they win a pot, nothing will change. They won’t give you 1 oz. of cooperation. Why? Hell, they hate you because you deal poker. Imagine if your dealing skills are less than adequate. Yikes!! Triple, immeasurable amounts of hatred here – that player’s eyes would probably blow right out of his head while he’s trying to wind up “the look” for you.

Hate’s a very strong emotion. Most of us never totally understand the true depth of hate. It has nothing to do with passion or life, just blind, unthinking, prejudiced hatred.

It’s easy to find documented proof of that totally consuming form of blindness that has manifested itself throughout history. Look at how the Christians fared in Rome. They had to fight the lions in stadiums where the Romans cheered for the lions. The score was something like this: Lions -16, Christians – Gulp. (Pardon the pun) How could this happen? Well hell, they were just Christians. They had a great coach but their team was shaky.

We could discuss all kinds of atrocities here such as the Africans brought to America as slaves, the Chinese that built the railroads, the Irish, the American Indian, the Jews in Hitler’s Germany . . . oh yes, this list could go on and on and on. The world is filled with sickness and strife, those that have and those that wish they had.

Why is the list even there to begin with? Because some of us can’t figure out that we are responsible for our own actions. Poker is a game of cards played by adults and a few Romans.

You know that when you sit down in the dealer’s box and the player gives you “the look” and starts to howl and whine and play every hand because he’s trying to beat you, the dealer, not the other players, that he just stepped into your arena and you’re the lion.

You know that if that player plays every hand while your dealing and is going off like a rocket, you’ll deal as fast as you possibly can, just to make sure he goes off of everything he can during your down.

Welcome to hell, pal. At the end of dealer’s down, you can be a lot more miserable with your losses and yourself than the dealer is as they skip to the next table. Think about it . . . a lot . . . See you there!