Tag Archives: bartending the Oxford

One step back

I feel the need to add a small glimpse of my history to the ongoing Oxford story. In order to appreciate my own insanity and addiction with poker, it might be easier to explain (without going into too much detail) that my earlier life was fraught with family death, family illness, (more than one family member in both circumstances), and the eternal struggle to put food on the table and pay the rent – in other words B-r-o-k-e, a lot of moves to different states, and general quicksand traps along the way. I won’t even begin to say that I handled anything well, in truth, I really didn’t know how to handle anything and that was another issue that surfaced for me years later. I never had options although I did have choices and I made some bad ones. But those were more related to husbands and relationships and since I never had two thin dimes to rub together, I didn’t make bad financial choices…until I became a poker junkie. Continue reading One step back

Despair

Today I went into Pahrump with my son.  He went to a couple of the casinos looking for work.  I sat down at a 5c keno machine for about an hour while I waited for him to fill out an application and take it back.  It was strange.  I used to play keno machines every day.  Way back when the Mirage first opened, I went every night after work and played – the frequency became less and less.  Now it’s been about 4 times in 3 years – and I have no desire.  That’s the whole answer to the perplexity of gambling MOI thinks…desire.  The sickness of addiction is what pushes the desire and makes it so paramount that you have to do it.  Literally, some people HAVE to do it.  I’m not sure what drove me at the time, but it left a long time ago. Continue reading Despair

Behind the bar

This bartending job was my first experience with people that had serious drinking problems and forced others to share their problems in public places. I had been a cocktail runner some years previous at the Elks Club in Sandpoint Idaho (on the weekend) but I was exposed to people who came in on Friday and Saturday night, mainly married couples, that wanted to dance and party, not sit at the bar and bludgeon their bodies and brain with alcohol.  This was a very harsh environment and spiritually depressing but it was a job and I had kids at home and rent to pay. Continue reading Behind the bar