To attain a full understanding of the tale about to unfold, you must first picture yourself as an attractive female that holds down a position as a poker dealer. For some of you this will be impossible so why not skip this article and go to another one. For those of you that have an appreciation for all walks of life – read on.

It’s 9:00 p.m. and you’ve just started your shift in a small town that has 24 hour poker. There isn’t a dress code as in black and whites so you’ve chosen a filmy, lavender blouse with a lace camisole underneath and a black, knee length skirt with black heels. You could possibly be mistaken for someone’s date but remember that you’re seated at the poker table waiting for your evening players to come in.

A guy that looks like he crawled out of the nearest dumpster – matted hair, grungy attire, unwashed and scary – comes stumbling through the door on his way to the bar. He takes one look at you, stops and states, “If I can sell this watch, I’m taking you to dinner!”
Continue reading Romeo, Romeo, give it a rest, Romeo →

It’s Sunday night to the rest of the world but in my corner it’s Friday. I’ve worked 8 hours a day for the last 4 days and I’m really looking forward to 2 days off . . . one more shift to go and it starts in a $1-5 7-Card stud game. Those boys are gambling and there’s hardly a pot under $60.00. They’re laughing and having fun . . . even when they lose . . . what a nice way to start my day.

I move on down the line, through $3-6 Holdem, $6-12 Holdem, $75-150 7-Card Stud, $40-80 Holdem and then through 3 $20-40 Holdem games. Pretty much run of the mill in all of these games, just shuffle up and deal, push the pots, “blinds/antes please,” deal the next hand and listen to a few whines and chuckles while I’m doing it.
Continue reading You just made the list →

You’re milling around the card room and you happen to pass by table 11 as a new dealer is pushing in. The game is $20-40 Stud and the player in the 1 seat, referred to from now on as Nameless, says to the incoming dealer, “Get him outta here. He otta have his hands cut off for dealing like that.”
Continue reading The day that poker died →

What if you’re a first time visitor to Earth? Your name is Zeeduk and you landed in Las Vegas and you’re in the back of a taxi . . . which is screaming through the streets, racing through red lights and switching lanes so fast that your little, alien neck is almost snapped off. You, of course, have incredible vision and memory retention and are well versed on our language and definitions.

The first sign you see is WINNERS EAT FREE! Whoopee!! Oh yeah, first you have to win. If you’re losing, just head on back home with an empty stomach.
Continue reading Zeeduk’s first time →

Did you know she’s a dealer?

No! I thought she had a real job.

She’s so quiet. Never has any company and seems to keep to herself. I knew she worked at night but . . . who would’ve ever thought? I’ve lived next door to her for years and didn’t know.

People who spend their lives burning and turning aren’t all bad. Some of them are very good. Good at their jobs and good at disassociating themselves from that atmosphere after they leave their jobs and change out of their penguin costumes, you know – black and whites. They even pay their bills and live in real houses, raise children and continue their education. They don’t even have to be force fed to survive. Imagine that…real people!
Continue reading Burn and turn →

I should’ve known when you couldn’t figure out how to take time out of the pot that I couldn’t win. They should’ve blown up all of the Dunes’ dealers with the place. Instead they dusted them off and sent them over here.

What did you have? I only called because you checked on the turn. I was pretty sure that you didn’t have aces because you didn’t raise before the flop and you checked the turn.
Continue reading Explanation Poker →

What if you spent all of your time on the table in board games? You watched all the plays…all the bad hands…all the bad players…the good players…the dealers…the lights, fans, and televisions overhead…the cocktail servers and chip runners and brush when they came into view…you were passed around and around and touched by thousands of hands…sometimes caressed…sometimes bounced…sometimes in boastful arrogance someone states, “I’m the button!” Well you know they aren’t…they’re referring to having you in front of them…giving them the best position in a hand.
Continue reading The Hand That Feeds You →

Ever hear this one? “Hey buddy, that gorgeous girl on the rail is watching you play poker and has been for the last 15 minutes!” The guy barely gives her a glance and goes back to his game. The bottom line is you can always find a pretty girl but you can’t always find a good poker game.

What do people do that don’t play poker? Do they have meals with their families, go to movies and football games, take their kid out to the park to play Frisbee Golf and all those normal, real life events or do those things only happen in the movies?
Continue reading Poker, Poker, Poker →

Ever check out the various economic divisions of life . . . such as: 1) people with money that live ordinary lives and drive Volkswagens because they like them vs. a Mercedes or Rolls because they’re a symbol of power and wealth; 2) the next class of people that are striving to always move up to status #1 and want everyone to know they are “SOMEONE” and they mouth off all of the time about what they own and who they do; 3) the ordinary person that goes to work every day just trying to improve and provide a better life for their families; 4) the person that struggles every day to put food on the table and clothes on their family and can never set aside enough money for a down payment on their own home; 5) and the person who lives on the street and has no out for the finer things in life that some of the rest of us just take for granted. There are a lot of variables here and we are going to slide right on by them because this is about poker of course.
Continue reading The totem pole →

A friendly little $6 – 12 holdem game. You climb into a double raised pot with A-9 of diamonds (you’re the button). The flop comes 8-7-3 with two diamonds. It’s bet – raised – called by two players in front of you – you call. The original raiser re-raises. Everyone calls. A black 6 pops off on the turn and the action goes haywire again. Everyone’s in and when it gets to you, you pop it up – what the hell, you’ve got two over cards, an open ended straight and flush draw.

The bet is capped and you’re rooting for a diamond – by now you know that you’re either up against a set or someone made a straight on the turn. The K of diamonds pops off on the river and everyone checks to you – you slam in the bet and get called in two places. The other two players flopped a set (8’s and 7’s).
Continue reading Service – Just kidding →