Merry Christmas world! My thought is that Christmas should be celebrated every day of the year; it is a day of rejoicing and sharing life and love.

Love is not shown in a gift or monetary endowment, it is shown in the way we treat ourselves and those around us on a daily basis.

This is my recipe for a great life, follow it every day:

Grab a handful of love, throw in a box of smiles, sprinkle with warmth, add a pinch of kindness, a dash of health, shake well and drink your fill but be sure to share some with those you love.

Happy Holidays!

While thoughts of Sugar Plum Fairies and all things mysterious and anticipated may be leaping through some people’s minds, the people I dealt to forgot it’s a few short hours before Santa visits their home. Well how would he know where they live when their presently domiciled at Table 15 or 13 or any table that has a game?
For some reason, in all the games I dealt except one, at least one person at the table was a spring loaded jerk.

My first game was $4-$8 Holdem. Whinny Whine complained because a player had been gone an awfully long time – I gave the one and only ‘Absent’ button to the stack of chips when I sat down.

After Whinny whined a few more times and kept rolling her eyes, looking at me as if I was supposed to throw the chips on the floor and get another player, I said, “I don’t make the rules. When I sat down, I gave the Absent button. When the next dealer sets down, they will give another Absent button. At that time, the player has 15 minutes to return to the game.”

Whinny folded out of turn at least six times. Each time, I prompted her to hold her hand until the player in front of her acted. “Well, he was reaching for chips…”

Finally I had her convinced to act in turn and she apologized. But another player, that plays all the time, does it every time he loses the previous hand and he took off with it, so I had to straighten him out too.

Two players took a walk and – BOOM – the rest of the table all became part of the Whine family. They weren’t going to play short handed! They wanted to draw for seats in another game.

We did have one seat open and I almost had them convinced that nine handed wasn’t a short game when one player picked his chips up and moved to another $4-$8 game. Calling the Floor Person was in order. The player had to return to our game so he cashed out instead. Another $4-$8 game broke and we got two of the players and everyone was chirpy smiley now, leaving Whinny Whine an orphaned child.

Next game? $8-$16 Holdem. Jimbo, (that’s what he calls himself and he incorporates himself, by name, into all conversations), has played on a pretty regular basis the last few months. A nonstop talker, he knows everything about poker and life and is pretty damned obnoxious to boot. He tells the same jokes over and over and gives poker lessons while he’s playing. Not to mention the fact that he tries to convince his opponents they are idiots when he beats them. He’d make a great cheerleader for a bombing mission. All in all, just a regular sort of guy, slugging down beer and playing poker.

The players were either chuckling or rolling their eyes at him during my down. I just deadpanned it when he started to tell me a joke and the others informed him he had already told it. Never even slowed him down, he told it anyway. Thank God those downs are only one half hour.

It went on and on through the night, then I got to deal to G. K. She’s been around since the Mirage days. She plays $15-$30 and $20-$40 Stud, hops back and forth between games whenever possible, plays like shit, rat holes cash if she can get away with it, talks to the dealer all the time concerning the hand, whether she’s winning or losing, and in general thinks the dealer is really concerned with whether she wins or loses a hand. And it’s definitely the dealer’s fault if she loses.

She was in the 8s and talking it up when I sat down, “How are you? – Haven’t seen you around…is everything ok?” genuine concern…NOT!

She held an Ace high Flush draw and ended up with Aces Up when her opponent already had six Spades on 6th Street. She paid him off anyway and lost a big pot.

Then she grouched at me, “I really didn’t appreciate you giving him that flush. I had an Ace high Flush draw.”

I replied, “He appreciated it.”

She grumbled at me, “Well I didn’t!”

I followed with, “Someone wins and someone loses, that’s poker.”

No, you’re right, I didn’t have to say a word to her. Maybe it’s like sitting over the Dunking Tank at the circus for 20 years and having someone throw balls at you – you just get tired of it and one day you start throwing them back.

She said, “I don’t need that analogy.”

She jumped up and transferred games. As she picked up the last of her chips, I quietly said, “Happy holidays. Have a good night,” this is standard for me and I wasn’t being a smart ass.

She stopped long enough to growl, “The reason I’m leaving the game is because of your attitude.”

I choked to keep from laughing, “I have an attitude?”

“Yes, you do!” away she went.

She’s another woman that gives women players a bad name. They can’t take a beat. They act like a man is supposed to lay down and willingly be ran over by them while they back up and rip the chips out of the man’s back pocket. Ugh!

It didn’t get much better. I went to a $30-$60 Holdem game. The man in the 3s knew everything – wait a minute, maybe he’s Jimbo’s dad…the one playing $8-$16.

He checked with a single finger flick that would have put Zorro’s blade to shame for speed. The first time it happened, I missed it. I asked him if he checked. He sarcastically blurted out, “Didn’t you see me check?”

“If I had, I wouldn’t be asking you now?”

He informed me that I had to pay attention. Hell, I need eyes in the side and back of my head and a radar unit surrounding my body plus ear plugs.

“It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. Everywhere I go….”

I’ve spent the last few days being horribly, down on my knees, gut wrenching S-I-C-K! It just doesn’t happen to me and I didn’t handle it well at all. I ignored the world and tried to sleep as much as possible. It worked! I’m so damn much better now than I was a few days ago.

I went to work, the room was quiet and I asked to escape after a few hours. Nate let me go.

Speaking of escape, I managed to avoid the high limit games for the last five or six nights of work. I must have on my light tripping, fantasy enhanced, dealer dancing shoes to do that. Sweet!

I love those down to Earth, insane action, mid to low limit poker games where people have no idea what they’re doing but they just want to play.

*****

I’m back on Karate Don’s list. He gives me the wild eyed, rolling eyeball look when he passes me and can barely squeeze out a grunt in reply when I say, “Hello, Don.”

What did I do to deserve this honor? I dealt to him in a $40-$80 Stud game and he lost. Just before the end of my down, as he was giving me the ‘Look’, he picked up his chips and went to the next table in my line-up. It was a 7 Stud 8 or Better game. Don took the 2s and he fit right in with the lunatic in the 1s. (The 1s is the Gutter Snipe in the 12/03/03 post)

As soon as I hit the chair in that game, Don’s eyes were rolling. After a few hands, he was explaining to the 1s how he knows the dealers and he knows he can’t win, etc., etc., etc.

Hysterical! It’s been about a year and half since he’s had the jinx on with me. That’s a long time for someone that’s paranoid. He may be winding up for another LOA from the Poker Room, as in 86’d.

*****

I dealt two tables of the Friday’s at Five Tournament last week. I jerked them around at the first table by trying to deal 7 Card Stud. The Button was in the 10s and I just whipped into Stud Mode. They took it well, and yes, it was unintentional.

The second table, I had three gents that went all-in. Everything happened pre-flop. I had some of their bets in the middle but most of the chips were setting in front of the individual player when they turned their hands up. One had Q-J of Clubs and the other two held A-K. The two players with A-K split the pot.

Mark G. was in the game and he said, “The first thing you have to do is straighten the pot out.”

I said, “I know. I need help.”

Mark did help me with it for which I was very grateful. All three stacks had different amounts of money in them.

The 1s quietly said, “Good answer, ‘I need help’.”

I said, “Well, I do.”

He replied, “I mean it really was a good answer. A lot of people would have just tried to do it and messed it up.”

Another thing that happened in this tournament. Marcel L. was in the 7s and up walking around while the deal is going on. This is pretty normal for him. I dealt him in and he was up, visiting with a player in the next game, when the action came to him,
Charlie grabbed Marcel’s hand and held on to it while he asked Marcel what he wanted to do. Marcel hurried to his seat, looked at his cards, threw the hand away, and then returned to visit at the other table.

At this point, Charlie informed me that it was the dealer’s responsibility to immediately kill the hand if the player wasn’t in their seat when the action came to them and that he had only held on to it because Marcel was a friend of his. Really cute!

I said, “Ok. I haven’t dealt enough tournaments to be firm on the rules. But you’re the one to blame for holding on to his cards, right?”

He agreed.

Particularly in tournaments, I feel it’s very difficult to be on top of all situations as a dealer in our room. Tournaments are not something we deal every day and they are fairly new to Bellagio, this is our third and they are spaced far enough apart that one never gets the full scope of tournament dealing. We also may or may not even deal the tournament when we have one in progress, we may be dealing mostly live.

We have never been given a rule book on tournament dealing or even had a meeting on any rules or ways to work with specific games, limits, etc. It’s tough. I honestly believe that none of our dealers want to make a mistake. I know I don’t. So help us with a kind voice and a smile, please. Hostility just makes it worse.

Amazing as it may seem, there is yet another WPT Tournament taking place at Bellagio on the 19th. It is the Battle of Champions and all the WPT winners will have a go at each other for a championship title. No news on the what the prize pool is/will be. It begins in Bellagio’s Ballrooms – One and Two. Seating at 2:45 p.m. for the Audience on a first come first serve basis. The event begins at 3:00 p.m. It is a special event for the WPT and will initially air on NBC, February 1st, 2004, right before the Super Bowl. Woo Hoo!!!

The stats for the Jim Albrecht Memorial are up here.

Unfortunately the Crown Australasian Event didn’t draw enough interest and the Satellite Tournament was a ‘no go’.

*****

Dr. Pete, a subject of other posts, is never happy with my dealing. If I dealt him every hand for three weeks, when he finally lost one, he’d have a fit and make the statement that I never deal him a hand. His eyes would roll around in his head, as if he’s going into a fit and we need to throw him down and wrap a blanket around him so he won’t hurt himself.

I walked up behind a dealer, ready to push, just as Pete was raking in a pot and tipping the dealer. Pete saw me. His eyes started to roll. He said, “I can never tip this dealer,” with his gaze cemented on me.

Pete was in the 9s. Perfect! I leaned over the 10s and said, “Good! I don’t want you to ever tip me because if you did, I’d have to say thank you and I don’t ever want to have to tell you thank you for anything.”

He cashed out. Thank you, God.

A few nights later, a friend of Pete, named Jean, was in a game I dealt. Even she commented on how he was so paranoid and weird that he felt that it was always Sylvia and I that were to blame for his not winning. Jean said she thought that I took Pete’s idiocy better than Sylvia did. It may be true. I can’t help but laugh at the moronic thoughts of some of these people.

Go figure. If you won with every dealer in the room, except two of them, why would you sit through a session with those two? So you could whine and complain because they didn’t deal you a hand? Yeah…right!

*****

I dealt a $4-$8 Holdem game that should have been in the movies. One woman at the table, she was pretty relaxed with the whole thing and about my age…granny age, dummy! And a few young bucks that were ripping and snorting – dying to beat everyone – and two of them were wearing sunglasses, the 2s and the 8s.

The 10s was about my age and he was/had been having a little fun commenting on the game, the hands, and the players. Most of his comments were only heard by me – and appreciated. He had a delightful sense of humor.

The 2s and the 8s were splashing chips pre-flop…both serious as hell. The 10s whispered to me, “I think Ray-Ban has a better hand than Oakley.”

Oakley was in the 2s and Ray-Ban in the 8s.

The Flop was A-A-little. As it turned out Ray-Ban only produced a pair of 8’s and Oakley showed down K-K.

I started in the middle of the room, the perfect line-up for smooth sailing. $15-$30 Holdem and Stud, then $4-$8 Holdem, and on down the line. The third day of the Championship Event was still in progress and the Jim Albrecht Memorial Tournament started at 5 p.m. so the tournament area in the pit was hopping. The Championship Event was down to 13 when I came to work and later, around 11ish, 10 players were still battling it out.

When I hit Table 30, at 1:30 a.m., the Championship Event was down to seven players and had been for quite some time. They were waiting to lose one – then sleep for a few hours and back to prepare for The WPT filming their play.

I finished Table 30 and after a break, headed for the Championship Event. I dealt the final hand of Day Three about 15 minutes into my down.

The Blinds were $40,000-$80,000 and a little bit of flirting with raises went on. Dewey T. raised all-in and was called by Paul P – after a lot of thought. Dewey turned over 8-8 and Paul turned over 6-6. Dewey won the pot, taking a chunk of Paul’s chips.

A few hands later and Gus H. was on the Button. Chad L. raised to $160,000. Gus thought about it for a few seconds (which is customary to his style of play) and went all-in.

Chad looked down at his cards again, did a little Hollywood, and he declared all-in.

Chad turned over A-A and Gus turned over J-J. Chad had Gus by around $131,000. Not to worry, a Jack on the Flop and Chad never helped.

Gus repeated, more than once, “That’s so sick!” as he stacked all those chips. Chad never said a word.
When Chad was in the Big Blind, Paul P. called the Big Blind bet of $80,000 and Dewey T. (in the small blind) called $40,000 more. Chad threw in his last $51,000 and Paul and Dewey called. Paul and Dewey checked it down and Paul won the pot with 9-10, catching a 10 on the River. Chad was out of the game.

The producer for the WPT event sat down and explained the procedure for taping and game play to the remaining six as their chips were tallied and bagged.

I escaped. It was a strange night, games starting, running short, people coming in and out of the room, but consistently it was very busy.

The Five Diamond World Poker Classic is winding down. It’s been a huge success. Tomorrow, the 18th, will be the final day of the Championship Event – the remaining 36 players play down to the final six. If you’re in the neighborhood and want to stop by, go to the ballroom area and follow the signs. The person in Number Three position is Steven Landfish. Sorry Steve, but your last name, in connection with poker, cracks me up…almost as good as Moneymaker!

*****

Our employee Christmas celebration happens today. It’s a real event, tons of great food, a gift, and last but not least, a picture with Santa or Mrs. Claus and the Elves. I’ve saved every picture, the years I worked at the Mirage and all the years at Bellagio. Nope…don’t ask me to count.

*****

I started in a sensible part of the room tonight. It was pretty easy going, all $15-$30, $30-$60, and $4-$8 Holdem, throw in a few 7 Card Stud Games and the night was smooth sailing.

One $15-$30 Holdem game left me in awe – wondering what/how a person thought they should buy chips and take a seat in a game…and she was in $15-$30, not a $1-$2 where she could have had all that fun and only lost a few hundred. She played every hand – even betting 6-2 off suit from Under the Gun, when she needed a five for a gut shot straight…she missed.

She played Q-9 off and lost because of her kicker, K-3 off and won a pot – upon which she informed me that was the first hand she’d won since I sat down and that she’d gone through $500 with me dealing as she threw me a $1.

I disagreed with her and told her she only had a little over $100 when I sat down and that she’d bought another $300. The 10s told her it was the other dealer. Hysterical. It didn’t matter who was dealing – this woman came to play.

When I got pushed, she did a, “Nice to see you leave, Linda.”

I just went with my usual, “Thanks everyone. Have a good night!”

Man it’s tough to help someone that doesn’t even know there’s help out there.

*****

It’s fun listening to the euphoric reaction of people coming in that have seen some of our players on TV. Last week Sam G. was in a $15-$30 Holdem game I dealt. He took a walk about 15 minutes into my down and a player from the nearby $4-$8 game came up and wanted to know if that was Sam – he’d seen Sam on TV and thought Sam G. was great.

Another night and the $8-$16 Holdem game broke, the players drew for seats, leaving me with one young man that wanted to talk about the celebrities. He really wanted to know if they played at Bellagio all the time and the limits they played. I saw Sam F. sitting with a lady at the Sports Book Bar – I pointed him out to the youngster.

“Wow! Is that really Sam? He’s so funny.”

Me, “Yes, that’s really Sam.”

Bellagio’s Tournament has brought them all out, any name brand player that anyone has ever heard of…still living…is playing at Bellagio right now. Stop in, lots of them will give you an autograph.

I’m working on a book. Time is the most valuable element of my life right now. Writing for Tango or the book forces a priority and, of course, work always gets in the way but it beats the hell out of sleeping in the street. Where have I been? The book…where else?

My little girlfriend, beauty queen, and light in my life, Kayanna, had a birthday yesterday. I left a singing voice message for her on the answering machine and managed to catch her this evening after she’d been out being a kid all day. She was so e-x-c-I-t-e-d, a skating party with friends and family celebrated her seventh year of life.

We should all be that happy and easy to please. But where the hell did the years go? One day she was learning to walk and talk and now she’s in school. The next thing you know, she’ll be buying poker chips and kicking butt in a poker game…go girl!

******

With an hour left of my shift, one night last week, I hit Table 1. The usual suspects were Gus H., Johnny C., Sam F., Chau, and Minh. They were playing $2,000-$4,000 Omaha 8 or Better and $500-$1,000 Pot Limit Omaha. They included me in their conversation off and on, and even though they were gambling like today was the last day on Earth to play, they were pretty easy going and sensible.

While Gus remained silent, the others joked and laughed, making fun of each other and pestered each other about who had the most girlfriends and was incorrigible with women. They even asked Minh how old he was the first time he had sex. They were goofy. I laughed through most of the down.

At one point, I shuffled the deck – completely forgetting the Shuffle Master. Johnny asked me if I had just shuffled. I apologized and said I’d done it automatically. He said it was ok; just use the deck in the machine. I did.

I made it through the down with no hair-raising screamers and got pushed by a new dealer that was hired for the Tournament. He asked me how to take time out of the game and I explained as I moved to Table 2.

Before my butt hit the chair on Table 2, the dealer on 1 was already calling for a decision. All of the players, except Gus, were jumping down the dealer’s throat. Sam was almost leaning across the table giving him hell.

Tony, the Graveyard Brush, was saying to the dealer, “Just take your time. Tell me what happened.”

I have a lot of sympathy for new dealers coming into any room that spreads high limit games. The ‘norm’ is that they are not given a refresher course, by management, on rules and room procedures. They are shoved into the line-up and left to the rise and fall of the tides hoping they miss the coral reefs and find safe harbor on friendly shores…hardly ever works that way in high limit.

As I slipped into the box, I was thanking my lucky stars that I’ve finally reached a point, with most of the players in the Poker World, that I don’t have to go through all that commotion and noise just to deal a game.

Each daily tournament starts at noon and plays down until there are eight (stud) and nine (holdem-omaha) players remaining. They leave for the night and return the following day to play off for the championship. They really aren’t leaving for the night. They play until three to four a.m. and even later. Makes for a hellerly long day for them and the tournament directors, and (sob, cry, sniff) me. I can barely keep my eyes open to post the events after the stats are faxed to me by the poker office. So please…if you find an error in name spelling, amounts, anything, on the Bellagio Tournament info, please notify me in an email.

Monday night found me dealing all live games, no tournament or satellite. My first game was a $60-$120 with a 1/4 Kill Omaha 8 or Better game. J.C.P. was in the 4s.

He lost the first few hands and made his standard comments, “I’m sure saving a lot of $$$. I’ll never tip another dealer!”

Add a little bit of Southern drawl to that so it comes out ‘Ah’ll’ instead of ‘I’ll’, swirl it with disgusting whining, throw in big handfuls of hatred popping out of the eyes, and you have what’s known as the J.C.P. Trill.

A few hands later, J.C.P. scooped a big pot. I gently pushed the stacks over to him and danced around more of the J.C.P. Trill.

He continued to lose. I listened to more Trilling. Does this make me happy? No! I’m not concerned with any player’s win or loss unless I make a mistake and cause the problem. You’re on your own when I’m dealing, it’s your choice to be there. I didn’t drag you in and force you to play.

The final hand of my down was multi-way action. J.C.P. got quartered, he held a low. The 6s won the high and held the same low as J.C.P. The 6s was also left of the button, meaning he would get any odd chip when it came to the low or high half of the pot.

The chips were separated in four even stacks leaving three chips, one chip went to the low and one chip went to the high, leaving one odd chip. It went to the high. Of course the odd chip made the high half stacks even. Although the stacks were set up, side by side, and everyone could clearly see how they were split, as soon as I started to push the high half to the 6s, J.C.P. bluster, flustered, “Now bring them back and do it right.”

I pulled them back, side by side again, displayed the odd chip, and Mark G. told J.C.P. the pot was right. I pushed the high half to the 6s and split the low, giving the odd chip to the 6s. J.C.P. was still trilling. I was getting pushed and Mark explained to J.C.P. that he was out of position to receive any odd chip. I mouthed a ‘thank you’ at Mark.

I’ve posted many times about J.C.P.’s attitude towards dealers and the disgusting comments he makes to dealers, and my attitude towards him. Of course I have no win with him. That’s not meant in the ‘tip zone’. I just have no win with him. But then again, he has none with me.

I refuse to act like an idiot and slam the pot at him when he wins, or change the speed of my deal and game handling, just because he’s in the game. But he is a blight on the horizon when I’m approaching a table that he’s in. I’ve even walked through the room and happened to see him staring buckets of hate at me. Of course if I continue to stare back at him, he’ll look away.

He really should give up poker. He had a heart attack last year and in general looks like his health is poor. His blood pressure must sky rocket as soon as he enters the poker room and definitely as soon as he loses his first pot with any dealer.

He is a lesson to me. I don’t want to be like him when I grow up.

My attitude is gone. It slid into the underbelly of the flat black, stagnant pools of self erosion.

Caught in the deadly grip of IDGAS, (translated into I don’t give a shit) I tried to resurrect and restructure my attitude by searching the pools for any form of intelligent, reasoning thought.

I bumped into despair as it tried to dance into my arms.

I stepped on pity and it tried to cling to my shoe.

Hatred blew up in my face and I jumped out of the way of a scorching jolt aimed at dragging me
into its core.

I covered my ears to escape the continuous drone of whining.

I vaulted over a river of ego as it bubbled and erupted, calling me…inviting me to take a dip.

I wandered through myriads of self righteous thoughts and reasons to stay.

Then I turned a corner and came face to face with myself.

I began the climb back up, out of the pools.

I rejoiced at being out into the air, the sunshine, tasting the breath of a new day and another opportunity to progress and become better than I am.

My conclusion?

The enlightened mind seeks answers to all things, searching the spirit for reckoning, peace, and reasons to exist and continue.

The mind that has not attained enlightenment searches only for excuses.

The world is full of people searching for excuses.

Yes, this has everything to do with poker. Poker is the greatest training ground the enlightened mind will ever encounter.

Poker can send you home talking to yourself. Poker can force you to rethink and replay a hand a few hundred times, then chew and twist it into shriveled threads in conversations with friends, and wake up in the night wondering how in the hell that player came all that way…and then…how in the hell did that ONE card out in the deck, pop off to beat you.

Poker teaches you that you are not the only person trying to win. Everyone entering into the competition is trying to win. That’s what it’s all about, winning, not killing someone or trying to belittle them, just win by using your skill and wit and playing the game.

Poker can teach you a lot of things, if you’re willing to learn.

See you there, the classes run 24-7!

Early in the week, I went through the shift feeling as if I could no longer function or think. The calculator in my brain was shot, burned wires sticking out through my hair in every direction, my ability to focus had disappeared about the second game I dealt. I was moving on reserve energy only, and the habits and pattern of my dealing, through years of doing the same routine, was the only thing that got me through the shift. Continue reading Farha, Devilfish, Minh “What’s in the pot?” →