While dealing the $20-$40 Omaha 8 or Better Kill game, somehow in a conversation between Jay and Double A, that really had nothing to do with Wynn’s place opening, Jay asked me if I was going to the ‘new place’ when it opened.

I said, “NO! This will be my last dealing job.”

“Why?”

I answered that I’d opened three poker rooms and never planned to open another one. The conversation jumped to, “How many rooms did you open? “Why wouldn’t you go to the new place?”

I didn’t go into the details, just stood firm with my statement that I didn’t want to open another place. But I do want to go into the details. I’ve heard the words ripple across the table more than once in the last year, “When the new place opens…this place will be a ghost town…I’ll be there playing and never come back here…” and I’ve heard dealers state that they can’t wait to make the move.

Why? What makes anyone think the games and the action and the treatment of players/dealers, etc. will be better at the ‘new place’? Yes…Steve Wynn is an excellent employer and is totally in to customer service but what will he provide that no other poker room provides? Free rake? Free food for everyone? Get real!

My thoughts are this: When a new room opens, it’s filled with mass confusion for the first year or so due to player’s demands and their efforts to make sure the room starts out the way they want it to…coupled with management not being quite sure where their boundaries are on how to handle players that get out of line, high limit players and their ‘rules don’t apply to me’, comp policies, game limits, dealers trying to figure out what/where they stand on reporting a player for bad behavior and getting backing from their supervisors, dealers that have no idea what they’re doing and don’t give customer service, cocktail servers expecting the world to just hand them money because they’re cute and don’t think they should have to work for a living, and all the other people and ingredients it takes to make up a poker room.

The bottom line is that at Bellagio, we have a well oiled machine that runs quite well. We have cut Dealer Abuse down to about 25% and we wouldn’t have that if all the dealers did their job and reported the problems. The management knows what/how/when to say ‘no’ and take charge of all situations…they aren’t skating around trying to figure out whose butt to kiss. Our cocktail servers, most of them, give great customer service and smile while they’re doing it, our regular players are there to play poker and know the ins and outs of the room and they help the game play and watch out for the well being of the game.

I don’t think anything is ever going to be better than Bellagio. We are the original hosts of the WPT. We have the action, in all limits. We have a good team of players and staff. We will still be there, poker galore, even after the ‘new place’ opens.

See you there!

P.S. If you are playing at Bellagio and find a way to improve the game/limit/room, make it a point to talk to a Supervisor and if nothing happens from that, find players that share your wants/wishes and make an appointment to talk to our Poker Room Manager. Sitting at a table complaining won’t get it done.

Back in the box. It’s always an experience, sometimes akin to a soap opera, sometimes stress filled and tense with the desperation of players that can’t handle their emotions, sometimes drab and boring with the repetitive whine of those that JUST CAN FIGURE IT OUT, and sometimes hysterically funny!

Bill L. had me and at least half of the table in stitches in an $8-$16 Holdem game. The other half of the table had to be on medication to sit stone faced through this comedy…they did.

It started about half way through my down when Bill, 2s, took off on an internet/spam thing. He said he couldn’t believe all the spam offering free money. That started it. *giggles and twitters*

He continued with, “They’re even telling me they can’t believe I haven’t picked up my free money yet.”

I jumped in with, “I keep getting emails asking me if I want a bigger penis.” *outrageous laughter here*

“I respond by asking what it’s attached to.” The 5s was laughing so hard, he almost fell off of his chair.

Bill just took off from there. “I did get the penis enlargement. I have it. Ok, now what do I do with it?” *choking, side splitting, gut busting laughs*

Miscellaneous interjections and comments from the ‘laughing side of the table’.

Bill continued, “Then I got all kinds of young girls interested in me. I get emails telling me they want to date me.” *non-stop laughs, the 5s was holding his sides and turning red from lack of oxygen as he spit out every laugh he could find in his body*

The 3s jumped in with, “Bumdate.com.”

The 5s looked at the ‘dead side’ of the table and made the comment there had to be something wrong with them if they couldn’t laugh over this…I agree. I was laughing so hard I could barely deal.

Bill never slowed down. “I’ve got it all, free money, penis enlargement, young girls wanting to date me, and I don’t know what to do with it…I just sit home alone.”

The laughter and statements slowed down from there.

The action in the game was totally insane and never slowed down. The 9s got A-A cracked by J-9 (10-s) in a 3-way, max raised pot and on the next hand, two cards sailed past my nose pitched by the 9s. I had to give the “Hey, hey…set your cards down!” to her.

*****
A first…for me anyway. I dealt a $15-$30 Holdem game, all men except the 5s, Allison. She’s young, thin, nice body, good looking, knows it and was being quizzed by a few of the guys about what she did for a living, what she wanted to do, etc.

During a hand, she stood up and did an exaggerated stretch thing, like ‘hey look at me’. Her hip hugger jeans showed a lot of abdomen and lean hip. She literally pulled the front of the jeans out and stuck her free hand down into the crotch area of the pants, did a few seconds of adjusting and settling, and then strolled away from the table.

The guys played on. One of them made a comment about her and I jumped in with, “I’ve never witnessed a woman do what she just did.”

They all wanted to know WHAT?????

I told them, they couldn’t believe they all missed it and demanded that if she did it again, I point it out to them so they could watch. When she returned, one of the players ratted me out and told her ‘the dealer’ saw her do something. Her expression was startled and questioning as she looked at me. I kept dealing.

The player stood up and aped my version of it. Relief spread over her face and she said something like, “Oh…well sometimes you just have to adjust things…” and continued with the explanation that it might not be proper but after all, it’s a poker room. Umnnnhhh!

The Master of Ceremonies for The First Annual Festival of Mayhem, Disruption, Anxiety and Odd Problems, picked my name from the thousands of unsuspecting entrants that didn’t want to be entered but had no choice. This Festival took place after I reached the campground in Northern Idaho.

It began with cell service from T-Mobile…as in NONE. Sure, you’re thinking, What the heck? you’re on holidays, camping out. Right? There’s just a little more to it than that. I had people to pick up at an airport, 70 miles away, on two different days, and I really wanted to know if they were on their flight and on time. Plus, I left a friend, Vivienne, with keys to my house and the responsibility of watering a few potted plants. I had to drive five miles out to the highway to pick up cell service. A few family members did have service on their phones so it helped.

But the first blast of Disruption came when I received a phone message from Vivienne. One of the station heads in my back yard was on ‘terminal run’ and I had a small pool forming around two trees and a vine. She had no idea how to fix it and if I instructed her to turn the water off to the whole property, the rest of my trees and vines would suffer in the desert heat…hello pool of water. (I do my own yard work, irrigation, and station heads so I wasn’t about to pay someone else to fix it when I could fix it for around $20).

The Mayhem started when I picked my son, Josh, up from the airport and he brought his computer and cell phone but didn’t bring a charger for the cell phone. He couldn’t ‘unplug’ from the rest of the world and had to have his computer on and a way to charge it all the time. He seemed to be totally out of sorts with settling into the campground atmosphere and we clashed more than once.

The night that I picked Stacy up at the airport, I called my son, Darian, or tried to. I planned to have him check out the leaking station head and fix it. Huge problem and worry after I found out he was in the hospital. It’s all history now and he’s improving but I called him at least once a day and sometimes twice a day to see what was going on and how he was doing.

Other family members had problems develop and it just wasn’t the happy, sweet group I remember from the last few years.

The woods had plenty of water this season and we had campfires, along with extra wasps, yellow jackets, black hornets, bald faced hornets (how about that name…do they shave or what?) and they were after meat, everything on our plates. We had old fashioned wasp/hornet traps that caught 100’s of them a day but still they fought for our food on our plates. And mosquitos. These mosquitos failed to note that we had ‘bug spray’ on us or they were wearing gas masks.

The zipper to my tent door blew it’s threads and I ended up hand stitching the whole damn thing shut and cutting out the screen to use it for a door…the condo has lost its appeal.

The young adults seemed to ‘cooler hop’ everyone’s campsite and I felt mine was hit the hardest…the worst of it was they didn’t drink the drink, they took a few sips and left the remains for someone else to pick up. They dug through the ice, marauding and mauling the food and beverages. I had a slight fit with all of them, more than once, but it didn’t seem to change anything.

It just wasn’t the event I looked forward to all year long but I did have a lot of fun with some of the young adults that wanted to play poker. My Great Nephew, Justin, found me first when his family hit camp. He was ecstactic and jumping with the news that he’d watched me deal poker on TV. We set up the poker game for later in the day and ran through a few hands just so they would know how the game of Holdem was played. Justin made a straight flush on the first ‘pretend’ hand. He hardly made a hand after that. I had a sympathy tug in my heart when I watched his young face look at hand after hand and throw them away. He wanted to play so bad but he listened to my advice…I started out by telling him that winning at poker wasn’t about the hands you won, it was about the bets you save. We got into that statement and a few others before we finished our continued playing sessions.

We played for a single 25c blind and the max bet was 25c. Last year we told the young adults they had to buy chips to play…this year they arrived with their small poker stakes and jumped right into the game. It was an experience that I would never give up and even the Master of Ceremonies knew better than to mess with that deal. All in all, the trip was good, life is good. My beauty queen, Kayanna, went home today after spending a month with me.

Time to plug back in to the Vegas lifestyle and the world of poker…see you there!

Barge was in town last week and I got to deal to and renew acquaintenances with Christine AKA Tina, and also met Barry, a fan. They were playing in a $4-$8 Holdem game with none other than the softspoken, quiet Lupe…HA! Barry and Tina were fun and in great spirits. Lupe was…well, Lupe…at least she wasn’t in the card throwing, drinking stage of her game when I went through there and she IS definitely the action. My friend, Scottro, was in town too but we never touched bases, life is too short and too busy at times, darn it!

Short and to the point, this kid’s on the way out of Las Vegas for close to two weeks. The family reunion and camping out awaits. Back soon.

Women! Women in poker! Creating a realistic picture of the feminine side of poker has tortured and tantalized my thoughts for at least an eon…well maybe a year or so. It’s hard to find a femine side since the final product…poker…requires a complex, tangled recipe that starts something like this:

1) Prepare a table covered with green felt, have a dealer standing by, provide drinks and nourishment, run 24/7.

2) Pour all elements of human emotion into a vat the size of the Earth, add people, toss in an ocean of cash, add skill and luck to season, stir gently (there’s so much going on in there, if you ‘beat’ the ingredients, they might explode) sprinkle random cards generously over the top of the mixture, and spoon onto the table.

Congratulations, you’ve just created a poker game. Enjoy!

So…back to women.

Most people dress in a uni-sex fashion and sometimes it’s hard to tell the girls from the guys. I find it rather amusing that men can’t wear tank tops into a poker room (and bathing suits are not permitted) but women can wear anything and it’s acceptable…some of the apparel, or lack of, would border on modeling Victoria’s Secrets.

A small percentage of the women that play, play on the role of being a woman…they use it as a tool against their male opponents. Most women play the game, the way it’s meant to be played. They play in all limits and games; they are a minority but more and more women are stepping into the ‘green felt arena’ with the recent poker explosion.

While I could profile a lot of the women I deal to, one in particular comes to mind. Her name is Mary AKA Mama-mia Mary. I met her years ago at the Mirage. She’s a classic. She’s beautiful…along the lines of the sensual, mysterious beauty. Her attire is always classy (never garrish or noisy, sloppy or unkempt) and she truly represents my idea of WOMAN in any given situation.

She never seems to run out of energy…maybe that’s because she’s a tourist and can’t sleep when she gets here.

She champions the under dog, always defending the dealers if someone says anything rude or out of line to them and a few years ago, she took on the ‘Two plus Two’ discussion board when a thread appeared berating dealers (me).

She plays so many games when she takes a seat in a poker game, that most people get lost trying to keep up with her innuendos and they just give up…some of them call her ‘Mary the Mouth’ because she’s always on them and has a comment about almost everything.

Her verbal exchanges are usually flippant and meant in jest, like:

The phone person paged, “Mary Tyler, phone call, line…”

She looks at me as I’m standing waiting to push into her game, “Will you tell him my name isn’t Tyler.”

I did.

After she finishes the call, I said, “I told him your name wasn’t Tyler but it didn’t really matter because you’ll answer to anything.” **laugh**

Mary, “Especially when I have my clothes off.”

Another line I’ve heard from her when she’s in a pot with a guy and he tells her she made him nervous with a raise…

The guy, “You scared me…”

Mary, “I like my men weak and trembling…”

My view of Mary may not be like anyone else’s. I believe Mary originally played poker more for the social exchange and ‘game playing role’ (that goes hand in hand with a poker game) than trying to beat the game or be a winning player. My thought is that she stepped in to poker to escape the real world and through her experiences at the table, she discovered Mary. The bud has turned into a beautiful blossom.

I discovered Mary a long time ago…

I came off a three day weekend (spent with two of my grandchildren and total bliss) to this…

Monday night at the zoo.  Mama-mia-Mary, a beautiful spirit and person, was at a $20-$40 Stud game that was just breaking apart when I sat down.  We visited through most of my deadspread…more on her another time.   So far, more bliss, but wait…there’s a huge black cloud on the horizon in $4-$8 Holdem just an hour away.

The black cloud was disguised in the form of  Lupe.  Attractive 30ish, drunk on her butt, she was slamming up the game with chips and behaving like a mean mouthed truck driver/logger hours before I got to her game.  Unfortunately, no one stopped her from drinking or from behaving like a jack ass so I got the bad side of the mean mouth when I did something she didn’t like.

She was the star of the show…from her POV…and from a few of the young guys at the table.  Her blouse was unbuttoned to about mid chest and a few of them mentioned that they were waiting for the next one to pop as she straddled the Big Blind and created all kinds of confusion and mayhem in the game.   Everything was fine until she lost a hand.  She was in the 8s and both her cards went into an arial act that would put a trapeze artist to shame.  One them rolled over in the air about four times before it lit in front of the 4s and the other one did a straight, flat dive right into the chips of the 2s. 

As I scooped the cards and pushed the pot, I said, “You can’t throw your cards.  Just set them down.”

She snarled, “Says who?”

Me, “The dealer.  Don’t throw your cards.”

She did an eye rollover that one would have to question whether it was disdain or the alcohol fermenting her brain, waved her hand in the air, and said to the guy in the 9s (found out later his name is Sam), “This fucking bitch is going to be a problem.”

Maybe…just for one half of a second…I thought I would just ease through this…maybe.  I asked, “Did you just call me a bitch?”

She looked across the room like she was being irritated by leaf mold or something that stuck on her shoe.  That did it.

Andy, a chip runner, was doing a fill for the table next to me.  I demanded, “Andy, I want Nate now!”

Andy returned with Dave.  Dave is our front brush, and a three day post that I won’t get into right now, definitely not the Cavalry and I demanded to him, “I want Nate.”

Dave looked at me like a deer in the headlights, “You want Nate…”

Me, “Yes!  I WANT NATE NOW!”

As I finished the hand, Nate arrived.  I told him of the events and he spoke directly to Lupe, “You are going to have to set out for twenty minutes.  You won’t be dealt in until after this dealer leaves and I would advise just taking a walk.”

Lupe threw out her small blind as if her ears were painted on.  Nate pushed it back to her, “You are going to be dealt out…”  his conversation continued with something like this:  Most players that remain at the table can’t remain silent.  If you make another comment to this dealer, you will be asked to leave.  It’s better if you take a walk.  We don’t tolerate abuse to our dealers.

As soon as he walked away, she spouted, “I know I’m never going to tip this woman again!”

I yelled, “NATE, DECISION ON TABLE 16.”

He reappeared and told her she had to leave.  She waved her arm toward the High Limit section and demanded, “Talk to my husband, he’s playing up there.”

Nate, “This isn’t about your husband, this is about you.  You’re going to cash out and leave for the night.”

There was all kinds of noise and mayhem at the table.  The 1s tried to brush it all over, “Lupe, you have to behave…”

Lupe sat there.  Her chips were already in racks and Nate just picked them up and stepped a few feet away from the table.  “Come on, this is your money, let’s go to the cashier.”

She looked at me and said, “You really are a fucking bitch.”

I kept dealing and watching the show.  A crowd had gathered and she finally made it to her feet with Nate prompting her.  After she stood up, it appeared to me that she wanted to pick up one of the empty racks in front of her and throw it at me but instead she barked, “You really are a fucking Cunt!”

I asked, “Well what does that make you, Sweetheart?”

Nate cautioned me not to say anything and she barked one more time, “You are a fucking cunt!”
She left the area, the game semi-settled down to a real poker game, and a few minutes later, she was at the Center Podium with Nate, Security, and her husband…yes, security had to be called.  Feisty little vixen.  She denied everything to Security but Nate stood his ground and she had to leave.  At one point, her husband walked over to the game I was dealing.  I thought he was going to say something to me but he looked around the table, then asked everyone, “Did she leave chips or anything here?”

The guys said, “No!  The floorman took everything.”

He left. 

Everyone  in the game talked about her, her noise, how she lost $500 every hour or so and what a boost she was for the game.  I said she was an embarrassment to herself. 

They agreed that I shouldn’t have to put up with that…gee, thanks, guys.
 

Last week I jumped into a $300-$600 Mixed game on Table 2.  E-dog, Eric L., was in the 1s.  We exchanged hellos and I asked him if he was going to Aruba for the Ultimate Bet/WPT tournament the end of the September.  He said he didn’t think so.  My statement was that he has to go, he has to defend his title from last year.  He said he’d just returned from the Aviation Club de France where the casino was robbed at ‘shot gun’ point while he was playing poker.

Ugh!!!!  Frightening to say the least but he said it appeared that they weren’t going to get hurt as long as everyone cooperated.  Another fear on his part; the Police might be outside and the bandits might cause an exchange of gunfire trying to leave.  Still another point, after the robbery attempt (not sure if it failed or succeeded), the Police wouldn’t let them leave the casino and they had a flight to catch.

He did finally agree that in Aruba, the cash in and out for tournaments is handled through the Ultimate Bet account so it’s not as dangerous as having mass amounts of money in one place.

The strange side of dealing.  Deuce to 7 Triple Draw, Eric was the button and heads-up with Jim, the Small Blind.  They went to war with raises.  On the final draw, I burned, Jim’s first card popped face up off the deck onto the table (the Card Fairy must have been at work here).  I’d never had this happen before and had no idea what to do.

I called for a decision, Carmen came over, after a moment of discussion Jim and Eric were decisive on what should be done and Nate happened to walk by to cement the rule.  Jim wanted two cards and Eric wanted one.  Jim’s card was not a wheel card which changes everything, if it was, he would have kept his card, even though it was exposed.

Jim received the second card and Eric received the third, Jim then got his last card.

*****

A few hours later in a $15-$30 Holdem game, I watched the strangest play I believe I’ve ever seen in a limit over $4-$8.  The 1s was the Button.  Everyone between the Big Blind and the Button folded.   The Button raised, the Small Blind (in the 2s) called $20 more, the Big Blind Folded leaving heads-up play.

The Flop was 6-6-2.  The Small Blind checked, the Button bet, the Small Blind called.  The Turn was a 6.  The Small Blind checked, the Button bet, the Small Blind called.  The River was a 7.  The Small Blind checked, the Button bet, the Small Blind called.  The Button turned over K-10 Off and the Small Blind turned over 7-8 off.

WHAT THE HELL?

I almost fell out of my chair.  What does the 2s know that the rest of us wish we knew…maybe the damn Card Fairy’s at work again…

I’m on a run with readers of this page.  Mark H. was in town and I finally dealt to him.  He played the $2-$5 Blind NLH game and it was non-stop chuckle and noise from all the boys at the table.  Mark went all-in and won the pot.  He threw me a toke and said, “That’s not for the pot, Linda, that’s for bringing them off smooth and slow.” 

We both laughed.  It’s always great to see him at the table.

Justin and Ramsey were in town.  They made the trip with (I think it was) five or six other guys and they were all interconnecting at the tables, drinking a lot, and having more than their share of fun.  Ramsey promised me a trip report but time will tell on that one.  He also promised to go hiking with me one early a.m. but as luck would have it, his hand kept feeding him alcohol and he couldn’t make it.  We made another hiking date for the next time he’s in town…it’s better that way, the heat is unbearable in Vegas right now and even early a.m., it’s on the scale of Hell’s Fires magnified by five zillion as far as this night owl’s concerned.

Steve from Milwaukee sent me an email a week ago and said he’d be in town, sure enough, I welcomed a new player into a $4-$8 game and he introduced himself.  It was fun. 

I hit a $15-$30 Holdem game late in the night.  The 1s was friendly and a little chatty, the game was pretty decent, and the 4s asked if I was ‘the Linda’.  His name is Jeff…another Tango reader.  By the time I left the down, the 1s introduced himself, Louie from Boston, and he had one of my cards so he could visit this page. 

Tyler was in the room, we met about a year ago from his reading Tango, and he was finishing his play at the $2-$5 NLH game as I was finishing work.  We got a chance to visit and since he was heading out the door and needed a cab to get back to the ‘Shoe’, I gave him a ride.  We got to really visit for a change, instead of his just passing by a game I’m dealing and saying, “Hi.” 

It’s always fun to meet people that know me through my writing.  Obviously they understand a little more about me than the ‘Dealer Shirt’ point of view because they read my strange mental wanderings…so far, none of them have mentioned the fact that I should be committed.  Whew!

*****

Tonight, I dealt to the guy from Table 30, $2-$5 NLH on yesterday’s post…the guy that had the gorgeous girlfriend and he made all the noise. 

When I walked up to Table 11, he was in the 3s, with his girl behind him, and they both looked up and gave me the extremely friendly, “Hello, Linda!” 

We chuckled, while I dealt, about the game the night before.  I finally asked his name because he was so busy chatting and being the star of the show that it was hard to get his attention.  Palo.  He ended up being moved the Main Game during my down and the game quieted right down after he left. 

During this down, I ran into one of those classic happenings that just aren’t normal.  A new player sat down in the 1s.  He posted the Big Blind.  He’d given $200 to the Chip runner and we were waiting for his chips to be delivered as he got involved in the next four hands.  For some reason, this time of night on swing shift, we have one Cashier and the line is a mile long with player’s cashing out and buying chips and Chrip Runners doing Fills and Player’s Chips.   

After the first hand, the 1s owed the 9s $5.  Second hand, the 1s owed the 8s $2.  The third hand, the 1s owed the 10s $20.   Then the real corker rolled in…the 1s ended up all-in with the 6s.  GOD!  Palo was still at the table and gave the 1s two stacks when we realized the 1s was never going to get his chips in time to save me from the dreaded ‘math blues’.  Everyone got paid what was owed, the rest went into the middle and to make it all very easy, just as the Chip Runner arrived with the chips, the 1s won the pot. 

You’re right, $27 subtracted from $200 is pretty easy to figure, but what if the 1s lost that hand?  Then threw out two more $100 bills and I had to keep track of all of it along with the fact that my table bank had nothing left in it as I was waiting for a fill also…add the fact that the 1s might just be a steamer and jam up the next hand…and on and on and on!  Damn it!  I love poker and all its little twists and turns. 

If you have any NLH skills, you’re really missing the boat if you’re not playing the $2-$5 Blind game at Bellagio.  You have to see it to believe it!

All kinds of things coming up on the horizon…my little girlfriend, Kayanna, is arriving on Friday.  I will be at the airport anxiously awaiting her sweet, little girl face to appear from the deboarding gate and the spark in her eyes when she sees me and exclaims, “Grandma!” 
 
We get to go SHOPPING for little girl things and our annual camping trip to Idaho for the Family Reunion.  I will, once again, be refreshed by the child’s view of life and the simplicity in which they perceive everything.  It’s like being in a chilled vacuum for an eon of time and one day you submerge into a beautiful pool of thoughts, emotions, sights, and sounds that rejuvenate your soul.  They just love you…without any barriers.  Ahhhh, a month of bliss.
 
Before I fall into the sweetness of sublime existence, there are still poker games leaping and hopping  through my thoughts.
 
My second game was $30-$60 Holdem, a couple of locals but mostly new faces.  The 6s (an occasional player) wasn’t happy.  His attitude didn’t improve during my down.  At one point, he was in the big blind and called down to the River, he flipped his cards in and they lit on my arm.  I turned them over when I moved my arm.  He did an indignant, “Why did you turn my cards over?”
 
“I moved my arm.”
 
“You turned my cards over.”
 
The hand was over, the pot was pushed, and I set two cards back on my arm and went through the routine.  “They were on my arm, I moved my arm and they turned up.”
 
“Don’t turn my cards over!”
 
“Don’t put your cards on my body and they won’t be turned over.”
 
He semi-settled down but played through a few more hands and kept shooting his cards into the rack.  If my hands had been on the table, he would’ve nailed me.  The third time he did it, I bluntly said, “Just set your cards down here,” as I indicated a spot a few inches from his fingers. 
 
He stopped being a total idiot after that.  When the Blind came to him again, he took a walk.  It was a horrible game.  Very little action and I can’t say as I blame him for not wanting to get stuck in it.  You’d almost need a mask and a gun to get your money back from those guys.
 
*****
 
I dealt two of the NLH $2-$5 Blind games.  For the most part, those games are wild as hell.  It’s a bunch of kids playing shoot out and they whoop and holler as they’re doing it…that includes drinking and doing ‘shooters’. 
 
I ended up laughing through most of the first one…one of the players couldn’t quit saying “fuck”.  I cautioned him on it several times and finally had him and the table laughing but the word is so ingrained in his thoughts that it kept popping out. 
 
I even told him at one point that he “appeared to be cleancut, good looking, intelligent, and have a good command of the English language.”
 
He roared and told me that looks were really deceiving.  When I left the game, he said, “Have a good fucking night, girl!”
 
I smacked him on the back and replied, “I learned to swear after I started dealing poker.”
 
They all liked that one.
 
A few hours later, when I dealt the 2nd one, the kid that used Fuck as a second language, was still in the same seat.  That game was back to back with the one I was in.  Both tables were kibitzing and laughing back and forth.   I got an over exaggerated, “Fuck!”  from the same kid at the other table. 
 
I exclaimed, “Hey Potty Mouth!”  That was a hooter for both tables.
 
If I thought the previous game was a riot, this one was madcap insanity caused mainly by the 1s.  He was shit talking his girl friend for her attitude when he looked at another woman and she walked up on the rail.  She was gorgeous, even by Vegas standards and its world of “plastic magic”.  He thought she heard him…she didn’t…but he almost threw himself on the table with, “Busted!” 
 
He jumped up to talk to her, he wanted to keep hopping over the rail so he could smoke a cigarette, he wanted to hop over the rail to talk to her, in general he was like a young bull and wanted to hop the fence for any reason.  He was also funny, animated, attractive, and very likeable.
 
I caught her eye and asked her to come in and join us.  He went with it, “Come on, Honey.  Come in here.”
 
She hung back, behind the edge of the drape, and he started, “Come on guys, help me with this…”  They all hooted and cheered for her to come in.  He continued, “I may propose if I win the next pot…” 
 
No one was quiet or orderly.  The game was mass conufsion and I will admit that I was right there with them.
 
The girlfriend finally came in and sat behind him for a few minutes.  He kept pestering, “Can I just lean over the rail to smoke.”
 
“Hell no!  Then you’d come back and blow your smoke in my face.”
 
“No, I’d exhale out there before I sat back down.” 
 
Lots of laughter.
 
I told him the Rail Jumping Police would catch him if he bailed over the rail again.  He asked me if I thought he should ask the Floor Person if he could just lean over the rail and smoke. 
 
I almost died laughing.  I said, “Sure, go ahead.”
 
He asked, “He’d tell me hell no, wouldn’t he?”
 
I said, “You guessed it, but go ahead and try if you want.”
 
It was my last down.  While I love their insanity, I love to leave it behind…which is just what I did.   Hello Time Clock!
 

A little $100-$200 Mixed game on Table 2 ended up being a typical example of how things go awry in a poker game. Odd as it may seem, it’s not the person that lost the hand that throws a wrench in the works. The game was six handed and the game was Deuce to 7. The 1s and the 4s were heads-up. The 1s drew one card and asked if that was the last draw (before he looked at his hand). He was all-in.

I said, “No! One draw left.”

The 1s looked at his hand and declared, “I’m good.”

The 4s looked at his hand for about 30 seconds and then motioned with his free hand. I assumed it was a pat hand from the hand motion. The 1s felt the same way because he laid his hand down, face up, and declared that he had a seven. I burned the 3rd burn card and dropped the deck. We always burn a card, even if everyone is pat and there is no draw…it’s procedure.

The pot was pushed, the deck pulled together to shuffle for the next hand and Lenny woke up or drifted back from the trip he was on. Lenny made the statement that there was a draw left and the 4s should have been allowed to draw. His story was that I dropped the deck before I gave the 4s a chance to draw. Bullshit!

I said, “The first player said he was good. The other player opened his hand,” (wrong statement to make to Lenny here, but in essence the player did open his free hand as if to motion that he was pat too).

Lenny went into the attack mode at me, “Did he open his hand? If he did why didn’t we see it?”

I rephrased my statement but to no avail. The 4s stammered around, making a slight noise that he would have drawn if he’d known there was another draw left.

The 1s went ballistic and asked Lenny, “Why are you being a dick?”

Lenny got on the 1s’s case because the 1s was raising his voice. The 1s raised his voice some more while the conversation boiled around. It finally settled down. I had no win so I quit trying to explain.

The 4s told me, a few hands later, that he didn’t have any problem with any of it and he would never give me any problem because he felt dealers got too much heat from people as it was.

To point out something I’ve said as least 400 times, in posts and in games, if I make a mistake, please let me know before the pot is pushed and the deck is dead…nuff said there. Hard for me to reconstruct anything when it’s all over and finished. And did Lenny know what he was talking about? NO! He was someplace else and arrived back on Table 2 when it was all over…he was the only one complaining and he wasn’t even in the hand.

Before all the hub-bub started, Sam G. waltzed into the high limit section and headed straight for Table 2. The boys in the game were making noises that he’s trying to sell his house…sounds bad for Sam.

*****

Of course I got to deal to Sam an hour later. He was playing $15-$30 Holdem, in the 1s. He had his head in one hand during most of my down…meaning he couldn’t figure out why he didn’t have all of their chips.

It was interesting to say the least. There were only two other faces at the table that were familiar. Jim B. and Joe. Jim B. reads here and every now and then while dealing to him, he brings up something I’ve written about and he’s very familiar with the Sam G. posts. Jim was in the 7s.

Scott was sweating Sam most of the time…the obvious would mean that Scott put Sam in the game. Scott’s pretty cool…nice attitude, never harsh or judgmental and easy to deal to.

Sam took 10-3 off, in the Blind, and made a monster by filling up on the River with…you guessed it…a three for something like treys full of sevens.

Scott walked over behind Sam and Sam said, “I wish we were up there,” nodding to the $10-$20 Blind NLH game. After Scott walked off, Sam yelled at Jimmy T., “Jimmy, did you put me on the list?” Jimmy was in the 7s of the NLH game. Sam never misses a chance to hustle up a backer.

Jeff and Jason, $15-$30 players, were milling around and talking with Scott by the rail (watching the game) when Sam got involved in a hand.

The 2s was young, European, had missed his blinds and returned when Sam was the Button. The 2s Bought the Button. The 8s raised, Sam called $30 with Q-9 Offsuit. The 2s raised making it $45 to go. It was multi-way action until the Flop. Everyone called the 2s’s raise.

The Flop was J-9-undercard. The 2s bet, got one caller and Sam. The Turn was a 9. The 2s bet, the original raiser folded, and Sam raised. The 2s called. Even though the 2s was nervous as a whore in church, he still bet the River (small card). Sam raised. The 2s called. Sam showed Q-9 off and the 2s turned over J-J.
Sam ran to the rail to talk the ‘boys’ that were watching.

I looked down the table in the direction of Jim B. and couldn’t help but laugh. Not because Sam lost the hand but I couldn’t figure Sam even playing that hand in a 10 handed game, let alone calling a raise with it…but he’s the pro…I’m just a dealer. And I would have never called the 2s…I knew he had Jacks Full…hell yes! Just by the way he acted, he had a big duke.

Jason gave me the ‘look’ at end of the hand and we exchanged ‘the smile’. We both knew Sam made a bad play and then came over to explain to Scott.

Sam recouped a few minutes later, the board was K-8-little, an 8 on the Turn, he bet and won the pot. He went through all the noise, about how he felt better now, as he showed them Queen high nothing. As he stacked the chips, he said, “I’d tip you, Honey, but I had to do all the work.”

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