I came into work and it was so dead that there were “little deads” hanging in the air and slipping into my nostrils as I breathed, hanging off of each hair on my head, and trying to slide into my mouth if I opened it to speak.

I hate it when it’s like this. I could either sit dead spreads, take breaks, or choose to play. I picked the last one.

I can’t remember winning more than two pots in eight hours. Flopped two sets, they got beat, AA got beat by A-7, etc., etc., etc.

Then the worst of all situations happened…the worst dealer in the world sat down in the box. Please don’t think it’s because he/she didn’t deal me a hand. I’m used to sitting for three to four hours and never picking up a playable hand, let alone a winning hand.

You might be asking yourself what the criteria is for being the ‘worst dealer in the world’.

My description: Our game is short handed and has been for two hours…there are two other tables running of the same limit and we have the least amount of players. The Worst Dealer, (shortened from here on out to WD), sits down in the game.

Immediately the game slows down, shuffle, hand delivery, etc., drops by at least one half the speed the game was running before. We must be putting the WD out by expecting a quality job here…obviously we’re interrupting the WD and expecting him/her to do his/her job.

Two new players are seated in our game by the brush person…one is in the big blind position and the other right behind the button. Even though the brush is bringing their chips and has announced what they have ‘behind’…the WD never even asks them if they’d like to post or take the blind, just deals them right out.

The next hand, the new player behind the button asks the WD if he/she thinks he should post. The WD replies, “I cannot answer any question like that.” I answered it. I told the new player that had he posted on the previous hand, it would have been to his advantage but now it would be better to wait for the big blind since we were short a player anyway.

The next hand finds the button in the seat to my left; he’s a newcomer/tourist that’s standing up, talking to a friend of his and is not more than one foot from his chair. The WD deals him out, even though it’s his button and when the player turns around and asks, “You dealt me out?”

The WD states, “I did not see you sitting your chair.”

Throughout his/her whole down, the WD made it a point to deal as slowly as possible, never is cooperative or even acts like he/she cared if the game went for another minute.

This dealer is a playing dealer which should make him/her a better dealer but unfortunately this is not the case.

It’s truly a bitch…playing in a game and watching people you work with try to make the game as bad as possible. To ask a question as to why/how/what were they thinking would be rhetorical.

I can only tell all of you that play and have never dealt…I apologize for the dealers that think you owe them something because they push you a pot.