What if you spent all of your time on the table in board games? You watched all the plays…all the bad hands…all the bad players…the good players…the dealers…the lights, fans, and televisions overhead…the cocktail servers and chip runners and brush when they came into view…you were passed around and around and touched by thousands of hands…sometimes caressed…sometimes bounced…sometimes in boastful arrogance someone states, “I’m the button!” Well you know they aren’t…they’re referring to having you in front of them…giving them the best position in a hand.

Everyone has a story to tell…you’ve listened to each one because you don’t have anything else to do. Some of them are pathetic, some of them are boasting and noisy, some of them are filled with insecurity, some are silent but the eyes say it all! You know the bottom line of the game is to get the chips…skill and intelligence are figured in here along with some luck. Some players skillfully take the chips and end up with everyone still talking and having fun. Other players seem to have a knack for irritating everyone…probably themselves the most.

Of everything you’ve seen and listened to, you’re still a little bit in awe of the person who supposedly makes their living playing poker and tries to irritate everyone that’s handing them money.

Saturday was a perfect example.

It’s a $40-80 Must Move, holdem game. Seat 7 is occupied by a player that is a well known poker author and has published a lot of books on the play of the game. There’s a few tourists but most of the field is local. One player in particular is pretty nervous but holding his own…has quite a few chips in front of him but looks like a Bambi in a corn field when the hounds hit the edge of the meadow. He could bolt and run in a heart beat.

A few hours later seats have opened in the Main Game and players are dropping like flies from the game you’re in…not to worry…there’s a list.

The first person called is another well known poker author…he takes the 10 seat and the big blind…the pot’s raised and he folds.

Suddenly the whole game falls apart! More seats have opened in the Main Game and players are moving to it and some players are leaving for the night. Suddenly it’s the Bambi’s big blind and there are 4 players left at the table…the 2 Poker Pros that write and play for a living…and another player that’s already putting his chips in a rack.

The Bambi refuses the big blind and the Pro in the 10 seat exclaims, “Well that was a total waste of $40.00!”

A flush creeps up the Bambi’s face and he stammers, “I’d like to play…but I’m no match for either of you. I’ve read all of your books and I really admire your play!”

The Pro waves his hand, dismissing Bambi and disgustedly grumbles, “Go on! Get out of here!”

Bambi’s putting his chips in the rack with lowered eyes…of course he’s going to run home and buy more of the Pro’s books, right? He’ll also call all of his friends and tell them to buy everything that’s written by the Pro. Right?

The game breaks and you’re locked in the dealer’s box for the night…the next day an Omaha game starts…it’s $15-30 and the line-up consists of 9 locals and 1 tourist…the game’s very snug…lots of blinds are chopped. The tourist has close to $1,000 in front of him and he’s drinking and laughing and exclaims, “Wow! You guys sure are tight!”

One of the locals starts grumbling, “Well, if I had your money…I’d burn mine! You don’t know what it’s like to sit here day after day and try to make a few $$$ just to buy your lunch and pay your rent.”

You’re watching the poor tourist that just came in to have fun and play a little poker…he’s hemming and hawing and acting like he got caught talking about sex at Sunday School…he starts apologizing, “Gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

You watch the local get a smug look on his face…as if he really told that tourist off…and you’re hoping the tourist just cashes out and takes all of his money home with him. If you were the tourist…you would’ve told him to get a job when he whined about lunch and rent.

The dealer gets tapped out and a spunky looking little beauty scrambles the deck and asks for blinds. She’s a beauty and you don’t mind her touching you and pushing you around the table…after all…you’re the button.

The first hand dealt is raised pre-flop and then checked down to the river, heads up. The pot is split with each player winning only the blinds…about $12.00 each. One player puts out $1.00 and says, “Chop it!” Meaning that he’s giving her a $.50 toke.

The Beauty Queen snarls at him, “I don’t chop!” She’s refusing the tip. She exclaims that she doesn’t need the money she makes in this game because she makes so much every time she deals the high limit that she doesn’t need to deal the rest of the games.

You’re looking at the Beauty in a completely different light now…somehow she seems a little tarnished…not quite as spunky as before. She looks small and greedy by trying to make a player look cheap for sharing with her.

So you’re a piece of plastic with the word DEALER written on you…you just move around the table…from player to player…although you have no interest either way…you’re in awe that these people make their living from the fine art of poker.

You know that you’ll always ‘see them there’…but as to what they see…you’re sure it’s very little and their vision will never improve.