I remember the day, for a lot of reasons, one part of it is quite depressing and I spent an hour with frustrated and helpless tears streaming down my face.  Sure, I cry.  The tears have to do with a horrible experience I’m watching with my son and it’s a ball of ‘this has to happen for that to happen to take care of this to solve that – restart the loop.’ 

Being a parent is a very hard task at times.  For some reason I always thought that when they left the household (the first time) that things would get easier and their lives would begin to form a pattern that would build a life platform.  Umnhhhhh…so if the platform is built but doesn’t provide necessary elements to be part of society’s hell driven race, it usually creates problems.

There are issues coming tomorrow and Thursday that may change the course of the near future…but then again, maybe not.  In the meantime I prepare myself for what could be a hellery stressful mess of time spent and frustration.  Possibly I will set down one day, pull out Dragon Naturally Speaking and begin the saga of Reality TV that never hit TV…but then again, maybe not.  In the meantime, if you have kids, you start to get the picture of what it’s like – caring very much about them and where they are going, but really not able to do much about the choices they pick…after all, what kid ever listened to their parents?

The issues have become so compounded and each hinges on another that it’s like the log jam, one log triggers the breaking jam, but each holds in place creating a problem until finally, resolution is served. Our society has become so distorted and unhinged that almost everything is tolerated and presented in the media as ‘just another day in paradise.’  The worst part is there is no upside, no solution, and it’s happening everywhere.  What is normal?  Who would know?  Not anyone I know.  And was normal formed by someone that had a white picket fence and food on the table every night with perfectly wedded bliss?  If so, normal needs to be updated in the dictionary.

The tears came and went, the day progressed, and it’s Tuesday.

*****

I didn’t play any poker yesterday.  I thought about it as I read poker reports coming into PokerWorks and the great online events that lead to casino based events.  I do wish I was going back to Aruba as a player.   I dread the long hours it would take to get there and back but I would suffer… 🙂

I busted out early in the WBCOOP.  And played the PokerStars 2 1/4 million tourney – I was out of it pretty early too.  I picked J-J as my final stand and ran into A-A.  One thing about busting out early, you don’t spend a lot of time moaning or groaning over your fate.  Spending hours to get close to the bubble and then busting is like FUCK!

*****

The wind has been a terror from hell again the last few days.  It calms down at night and starts again by around noon.  It’s so bad in an RV.  The first day, a sudden blast hit out of nowhere and the whole coach rocked from it.   Of course grannie has a motion sickness thing so it’s way wunnerful when the day is spent with the wind trying to send my home down the road.  The heat rolled back in and the wind didn’t do anything for cooling it down.  Wind + heat = outdoor convection oven.

*****

My granddaughter, Katie, will be two on Saturday.  I am trying to see her for present presentation and pictures, and possibly a few baby hugs…but who knows?  The momparental in that family tree has tossed the word drama around at me (like it’s something she just discovered in the dictionary) in our last few texts and conversations…portraying me as creating the drama.  HELLO!  I didn’t know what the word drama really meant until I met her and the other momparental.  They invented the word.

*****

I shopped Walmart late night recently.  As I waited in the check-out Queue, I scanned the magazine covers on the racks.  I don’t know any of those people.  Who the hell are they?  Lack of TV, newspapers, and friends dropping in has limited my worldly who’s who.  If they ain’t in AARP and they don’t play poker, who the hell are they?

*****

I’m not sure I like Twitter, or FaceBook, or MySpace or any of those gotta-register-be-in-touch-with-the-world-tune-me-in-or-you’re-tuned-out applications.  Every site you visit seems to have a link or a way to stay in touch with someone’s daily habits.  Who cares what time Joe Blow or his wife Sarah go to the bathroom – or brush their teeth?  Everyone’s life now has to be made public?

*****

Guess grannie’s done ramblin’ for the day.