I have to hurry this screenplay posting up because I have a post and pictures of Howard Lederer’s Birthday party on the night of the 29th to do. And if you want a great laugh, view Tony G.’s latest video blog. If you ain’t laughing, you ain’t human. Tony has true ‘entertainment value’ in every bone in his body.
CUT TO:
INT. KING’S HOME – KITCHEN
Solitaire buries her head in her hands and sobs.
SOLITAIRE
Mom’s been in a coma since this morning. Damn Diamond. Damn her! She could have called me then. I’d be there now if Diamond was human.
Meredith raises her eyebrows in a look at King. King shrugs at Meredith.
KING
It’s hard on everyone, Honey.
SOLITAIRE
No it isn’t. It’s not hard on Diamond. She should be shot. She’s the reason Mom is in the hospital and she asked me to help her
(tears explode)
send Mom away.
King pats her arm as tears stream down his face.
The phone rings.
KING
Yes.
(listens)
Are you ok? Let me know if you need anything. I’m sorry, Honey.
King puts the phone down and pulls Solitaire into his arms.
KING
She’s gone.
King and Solitaire hold each other and cry.
SOLITAIRE
She said she’d wait to hear from me in Vegas.
KING
Yes…she did, Honey. She’s home now. Be happy for her. She celebrated every day with her love for life.
Meredith bites her lip.
Int. Law Office – DAY
Diamond and Solitaire sit apart and face LAWYER as he looks through papers in a file. He looks at each paper and sets it, neatly and precisely squared, next to the last paper he looked at. His desk is tiled with papers before he finds the Envelope.
LAWYER
(to Diamond)
Did you study law here in Montana?
DIAMOND
Yes.
SOLITAIRE
Please…
Lawyer peers over cheater glasses at Diamond and Solitaire and opens the Envelope.
LAWYER
This is the Last Will & Testament of Treyanne Agnes DeBoarde.
LAWYER reads.
I, Treyanne Agnes DeBoarde, of 128 Ash Street, Missoula, Montana, declare that this is My Last Will and Testament.
Lawyer drones on through the Articles in the Will.
Diamond stares at Lawyer.
Solitaire stares out the window.
LAWYER
…It is my wish to be cremated. I do not want a service or ceremony.
Solitaire’s head jerks up.
SOLITAIRE
What? What did you say?
Lawyer frowns at Solitaire and continues.
LAWYER
It is my wish to be cremated. I do not want a service or ceremony. I leave private instructions to Diamond Denise DeBoarde and Solitaire Shay DeBoarde to dispose of my physical remains.
SOLITAIRE
Where are the instructions…the PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS?
DIAMOND
I have them.
SOLITAIRE
Where did you get them?
DIAMOND
They were at the house.
SOLITAIRE
Really? What else did you take when you were snooping through everything?
LAWYER
Really, Ladies! Let’s keep this civil.
Solitaire jumps up and slams out of the office. A few seconds pass as Diamond shrugs at Lawyer. Solitaire runs through the door, to the desk.
SOLITAIRE
Yes. Let’s keep everything nice and civil. You fucking lawyers really know all about that, don’t you?
She slaps the tiled papers across the room and floor.
SOLITAIRE
You need a road map to life but you won’t find it until pigs fly out your ass.
Solitaire slams the door on her way out.
INT. FUNERAL HOME – PRIVATE OFFICE – DAY
FUNERAL DIRECTOR watches Solitaire and Diamond.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
I’m very sorry for your loss. If there’s anyway I can help, please feel free to call me.
(pauses)
Treyanne’s remains will be cremated tomorrow at 4 p.m.
(pauses)
You have private viewing privileges for the next 24 hours. Can I help you with anything else?
Diamond watches Funeral Director. Solitaire leaves quietly.
INT. FUNERAL HOME – PRIVATE VIEWING – AN HOUR LATER
Solitaire sits beside Treyanne’s still form.
SOLITAIRE
Mommy, I know you really aren’t gone. You’ll always be here with me.
(touches her heart)
You are going with me…just not the way I had hoped.
Solitaire strokes Treyanne’s forehead and weeps.
INT. FUNERAL HOME – PRIVATE OFFICE – DAY
Solitaire faces off with Funeral Director.
SOLITAIRE
How could you possibly have given MY mother’s ashes to Diamond?
Funeral Director pours a glass of water and dabs at his neck with a kerchief.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
There is no direct statement from your mother’s will as to which one of you would get the ashes.
Solitaire leans over the desk at Funeral Director.
SOLITAIRE
W-H-A-T can I do to resolve this?
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
Talk to an attorney.
SOLITAIRE
FUCK YOU!
Solitaire slams out of the office.
INT. DEBOARDE HOME – SOLITAIRE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT.
Solitaire finds an envelope on her bed. She dials a number and sips a glass of wine.
SOLITAIRE
I’m packed. I’ll be out of the house by tomorrow afternoon.
(listens)
Solitaire swirls the wine and drains the glass.
SOLITAIRE
Yes, I found the envelope. What else did you steal while you were here?
(listens)
No. What’s in it? A legal form to have me committed?
(listens)
Do whatever the hell you want with the house, just give me Mom’s ashes.
(listens)
Then rot in Hell, BITCH!
Solitaire slams the phone onto its cradle.
SOLITAIRE
And you…you little asshole Funeral Director prick, with your,
“talk to an attorney”. I just did!
Solitaire busts out laughing as she crawls into bed.
SOLITAIRE
Damn, that felt good!
INT. Bellagio – poker room – NIGHT
Solitaire puts her name on the list for $15-$30 Holdem and scans the poker room. She spots Dave seated at a table.
SOLITAIRE
Hey! What’s doing?
Dave peers over his shoulder at her.
DAVE
When did you get in?
SOLITAIRE
Yesterday. Spent most of the day unloading the truck and settling into my apartment.
Dave talks to her between hands.
DAVE
Are you on a list?
SOLITAIRE
Yeah, I’m on the 15-30.
A voice booms over the microphone.
MICROPHONE
Solitaire D., 15-30 Holdem.
Solitaire waves at the BRUSH PERSON.
SOLITAIRE
They just called me. Talk to you when you’re done?
DAVE
Yeah, hope I win this. It’s a thousand-sixty buy-in and I got into it through a satellite. First place is over $45,000.
SOLITAIRE
Sweet! I hope you win too.
DAVE
Get a comp.
SOLITAIRE
What?
DAVE
Ask the Floor Person for a comp. We can eat when we finish playing.
SOLITAIRE
I can pay for my own meal.
DAVE
Just get a damn comp…why pay when we can eat free?
Solitaire slips into the Nine Seat and spreads five – $100 bills on the table.
DEALER1
PLAYER’S CHIPS, TABLE 20.
Dealer1 shuffles.
DEALER1
Would you like to post fifteen and be dealt right in or wait for the Blind?
SOLITAIRE
What?
DEALER1
You have to post the amount of the Big Blind in order to be dealt in. Would you like to post 15 now or wait?
Dealer1 stops the deal at Solitaire.
SOLITAIRE
(taps the table)
I’ll post.
She fidgets and looks at the other nine Players.
SOLITAIRE
I may not look like I know what I’m doing but I got tired of playing with Johnny Chan so I’m giving him a break for awhile.
Everyone laughs. Conversation takes off.
Solitaire peeks down to the KING OF SPADES, NINE OF HEARTS. Everyone between her and the Blinds folds.
DEALER1
Option!
SOLITAIRE
I check.
Everyone folds to PLAYER5 who is the Small Blind and in the four seat.
Player5 raises.
The Big Blind folds.
Solitaire raises.
Player5 folds.
PLAYER5
You’re really lucky I didn’t have you beat.
Everyone laughs.
COCKTAIL WAITRESS takes orders from the table behind Dealer1. PLAYER6 at Solitaire’s table is wearing a hat. Player6, in the 10s, leans back in his chair at the same time Cocktail Waitress turns around. Cocktail Waitress hits Player6 in the back of his hat with her tray.
COCKTAIL WAITRESS
OH MY GOD! I’m so sorry, are you ok?
PLAYER6
(motions to hat)
That’s why I wear this.
COCKTAIL WAITRESS
I’m so sorry.
PLAYER7, in the one seat, is oblivious to the scene and wakes up.
PLAYER7
What are you serving?
COCKTAIL WAITRESS
Brain Damage.
PLAYER7
I’ll have one. What’s in it?
Everyone at the table explodes in laughter. Dealer1 deals.
Solitaire peeks at the KING OF DIAMONDS, TEN OF DIAMONDS.
Everyone calls 15.
PLAYER8, the Big Blind, in the six seat, raises.
Everyone calls to PLAYER9.
PLAYER9, the Small blind, in the five seat, raises.
Player8 raises.
Everyone calls to Player9.
Player9 raises.
Everyone calls.
Dealer1 burns a card and puts the QUEEN OF CLUBS, JACK OF HEARTS, TREY OF SPADES on the table.
Player9 bets.
Player8 raises.
Everyone calls to Player9.
Player9 raises.
Player8 raises.
Everyone calls to Player9.
Player9 raises.
Everyone calls.
Dealer1 burns a card and puts the EIGHT OF DIAMONDS on the table.
Player9 bets.
Player8 raises.
Everyone calls to Player9.
Player9 raises.
Player8 raises.
Everyone calls to Player9.
Player9 raises.
Everyone calls.
Dealer1 burns a card and puts the ACE OF SPADES on the table.
Player9 taps the table.
Player8 bets.
Two Players fold.
Solitaire raises.
Five Players fold.
Player9 calls.
Player8 raises.
Solitaire raises.
Player9 grumbles and folds.
PLAYER8
I think we have the same hand. I just call.
Player8 calls.
Solitaire turns up the KING OF DIAMONDS, TEN OF DIAMONDS. Player8 turns up the TEN OF HEARTS, NINE OF SPADES.
PLAYER8
Nice hand.
(laughs)
I was hoping we had the same hand.
Dealer1 pushes the pot to Solitaire. Solitaire throws four of the chips to Dealer1 and stacks the pot.
DEALER1
THANK YOU!
SOLITAIRE
NO…thank you very much!
Solitaire looks at the next two hands and folds as she stacks chips. The Players laugh and visit. Chips fly into the pots.
SOLITAIRE
(to Dealer1)
Give me a missed blind button…and thanks again.
INT. BELLAGIO – SPORTS BOOK BATHROOM – A MINUTE LATER
Solitaire touches up her lipstick and listens to voices from the stalls.
VOICE ONE
Did you see Ben Affleck?
VOICE TWO
Yes, I couldn’t get close to the table though.
VOICE ONE
Too bad they keep that whole section roped off. I heard Matt Damon was here earlier playing in the game.
VOICE TWO
Man, I’d take those guys for the ride of their life if I could just get close to them.
Laughter and giggles erupt from the stalls.
INT. BELLAGIO – POKER ROOM – A MINUTE LATER
Solitaire drifts around the room. She spots Ben Affleck in the High Limit Section and strolls past his table on her way to Dave’s table.
SOLITAIRE
Dave! Guess who I just saw?
DAVE
Oh…let me guess…
SoLITAIRE
Ben Affleck! I just saw Ben Affleck!
DAVE
Big deal! He’s here all the time. So are all the Stars! What time is it?
Solitaire grabs his shoulder.
SOLITAIRE
But Ben Affleck…not Joe Schmoe…Ben Affleck.
DAVE
So what? There’s a banker that plays One hundred thousand-Two hundred thousand with the Corporation. What’s the big deal?
SOLITAIRE
Corporation? One hundred thousand-Two hundred thousand? GOD! Why not bet a yacht or a Rolls?
Dave ignores her and watches the game play.
Solitaire checks her watch.
SOLITAIRE
It’s 12:30. I’m ready for food and totally beat.
DAVE
In the game?
SOLITAIRE
No…as in tired as hell beat.
DAVE
We have to lose one player and I’m in the money.
Dave is the Button and looks down to the ACE OF CLUBS, FIVE OF CLUBS. All Players after the Blinds fold to Dave. He counts and recounts his chips, and pushes them all forward.
DAVE
All-in for thirty-two hundred!
The Small Blind folds. PLAYER10, the Big Blind, peeks down to the KING OF CLUBS, TEN OF CLUBS. He fidgets and counts his chips, stacks and re-stacks them, as he watches Dave and eyes Dave’s chips.
PLAYER10
I call. I got you covered.
DEALER2
Turn them up.
Dave and Player10 turn over their cards.
DAVE
You’re drawing pretty slim.
Dealer2 burns and puts the DEUCE OF CLUBS, SIX OF CLUBS, QUEEN OF HEARTS on the table.
PLAYER10
(chants)
Come on king…king or a ten…king or a ten…
Dave stands up.
DAVE
Holdem, Dealer. Don’t help him if you can’t help me.
Dealer2 burns a card and puts up the SEVEN OF DIAMONDS.
PLAYER10
(chants)
King…king…ten…king or a ten.
Dave’s eyes are riveted on the deck.
Dealer2 burns a card and puts up the TEN OF HEARTS.
Player10 whoops it up!
Dave slaps his cards at Dealer2 and stomps off.
DAVE
(to no one)
Fucking lucky piece of shit! Cheating assholes. Jesus Christ, how does it happen?
Solitaire runs after Dave.
SOLITAIRE
Dave…come on. That’s poker, you know it happens.
DAVE
He could hit one of six fucking cards left in the fucking deck. How lucky do you have to be?
SOLITAIRE
STOP IT!
Solitaire stops. Dave stomps out of the room. Solitaire runs to catch Dave.
INT. BELLAGIO – CASINO – A FEW SECONDS LATER
Stand up signs announce Bellagio’s Five Star World Poker Classic Tournament. Twenty poker tables fill what is normally Pit Five.
Solitaire grabs Dave’s arm and stops him by the Tournament Tables.
SOLITAIRE
Wait a minute. I have to get my chips…that is if you still want to eat.
Dave shakes Solitaire off of his arm.
DAVE
Well GO get them. I’ll see if I can keep from ripping someone’s head off while I wait.
Dave stomps and paces as he watches Solitaire, through the windowed rail, take four racks of chips to the Cashier.
SOLITAIRE
Ok…where do you want to eat?
DAVE
Did you get a comp?
SOLITAIRE
No. I spaced it.
DAVE
Looks like you did well enough in the game that you can buy…how much did you win?
SOLITAIRE
A little over fifteen hundred.
DAVE
You got lucky.
SOLITAIRE
I couldn’t possibly know how to play, right?
DAVE
Not with these guys. You’re not talking the old crusty farts that rooted to the floor back in Montana.
SOLITAIRE
But you can? You’re the guy that just went broke and had a fit and you’re telling me that I can’t play?
DAVE
Don’t give up your day job.
SOLITAIRE
Forget the food. I’m not hungry anyway.
Solitaire spins around and walks.
Dave glares at the ceiling for a minute. He runs after Solitaire and grabs her arm.
DAVE
Hey…come on. Let’s go eat. Got any food at your apartment? I’d really like to get out of the casino and I’m dying on the buffet diet.
Solitaire toes the floor and pouts.
SOLITAIRE
Well…I do have a couple of steaks that need to be cooked.
DAVE
Great! Let’s take your car. Mine’s parked at The Mirage.
They walk through the casino to the parking garage. They open the door to the parking garage and walk through the door of Solitaire’s apartment.
INT. SOLITAIRE’S APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM
The kitchen and living room are separated by a breakfast bar. An assortment of packing boxes surround the sparse furnishings.
SOLITAIRE
You relax, I’ll cook.
DAVE
Want some help?
SOLITAIRE
(laughs)
Nope. Everything’s a mess. Let me conjure up the brew.
Solitaire cooks. Dave kicks off his shoes and settles into the couch.
DAVE
Those steaks smell great. Jesus, I’m starved to death.
SOLITAIRE
No! NO! Not death by starvation…say it isn’t so.
They laugh. Solitaire arrives at the couch with steaks and salad bowls and does an exaggerated gasp for air.
SoLITAIRE
Jesus! Is that your feet? Open a window please.
Dave jumps up and opens the windows.
DAVE
I’ve been approached by the CIA to use them for secret warfare in the defense of our country.
SOLITAIRE
Christ! Does the CIA issue gas masks to innocent bystanders?
They settle into the couch and feed like hungry wolves.
DAVE
What’s happened with your mom?
Solitaire stops chewing and stares at Dave.
DAVE
What? Seriously, how is she?
SOLITAIRE
She died.
Dave drops his fork.
DAVE
I’m sorry. I didn’t know.
SOLITAIRE
Well, how could you? You’ve been here.
DAVE
And Diamond? How’s she doing?
Solitaire picks up Dave’s fork and threatens him with it.
SOLITAIRE
If you mention her again, you’ll have this fork where you don’t want it.
DAVE
Hey…come on. You don’t mean that.
SOLITAIRE
Who the hell cares how she’s doing?
Dave sets his plate on the floor and wraps his arms around Solitaire.
SOLITAIRE
Call her if you want to know.
DAVE
You want me to stay…
Dave sticks his face into her neck.
INT. SOLITAIRE’S APARTMENT – NEXT MORNING
Solitaire sits on the couch, wrapped in a robe, with the newspaper and a cup of coffee.
Dave enters, donned in a towel, damp and freshly shaven.
DAVE
Damn! Nothing like a hot shower. Got any more of that?
Solitaire nods to a pot, surrounded by cups, on the breakfast bar.
SOLITAIRE
What do you do here?
Dave laughs.
DAVE
I play poker for a living, Hon. I already told you that.
SOLITAIRE
Do you keep track of everything? You’re beating the game in live play or tournaments…both…what?
(grimaces)
After watching the show you put on last night, I don’t see how you can beat the game in the long run.
Dave sits down beside Solitaire and leans into her, his coffee almost spills.
SOLITAIRE
Hey…be careful, that stuff is hot.
Dave flashes her with a crotch shot.
DAVE
Yes it is! The hottest stuff you’ll ever hook up with so make sure you play your cards right.
Dave straddles her. His left hand unbuttons her robe as his right hand cradles her neck. The kiss ignites the twisting, frenzied dance.
FADE TO:
Dave puts on his shoes and leans back on the couch. He watches Solitaire pull on a T-shirt and finish buttoning up her jeans.
DAVE
You just get better. Every time. How many men have you been through?
Solitaire blows him a kiss.
SOLITAIRE
A few. How about you? Ever been married?
DAVE
Nope. Never even thought about it.
Solitaire chuckles and peers at him between her legs while she bends over to tie her shoes.
SOLITAIRE
How many women?
Dave stares at the floor.
DAVE
Enough to know a good one when I find her.
Solitaire grabs her ankles and watches him as she shakes her butt.
SOLITAIRE
Is this how you want me?
Dave jumps up and grabs her. He pulls her butt up fast and hard against his groin.
DAVE
I’ve been thinking…why don’t I move in here with you?
Solitaire falls onto the floor and rolls into one of the packing boxes. The contents of the box spill onto the floor by the couch.
SOLITAIRE
Whoa! That’s not even realistic.
DAVE
Sure it is. We’re in the same business. We’re great in bed. We can share expenses. We’ve got history. What the hell else is there?
Solitaire grabs her bag and searches for her keys.
SOLITAIRE
I’d better take you back to your car. I’ve still got a lot to do before I start work in a few weeks.