From time to time I run into a situation that makes me wonder where I started with someone – or how I came across in my contact with them that threw everything into a disarray of irritation and ugly confrontation. I very seldom ever have conflict with anyone – especially someone I just met – yet it happened to me in the most friendly of environments. I was invited to Greg and Amy’s place over the weekend. We were going to work with Nick and Andy in low stakes poker – they were going to deal to us – we were going to play a variety of games because they were hired to deal the WSOP and needed the experience. I’d met Nick before – back in the old days when I hosted a game on Saturday night – Tim and Nick had been to the house to learn to deal. But Andy was a new face…

When I arrived at Greg and Amy’s, the line-up consisted of me, Greg, Amy, Nick, Mark AKA Kram, and Andy. Wayne showed up later – after work. Almost from the second thing I said, Andy had some ultra speedy jab that dug into my skin. I don’t even know why I let him affect me. After all, I’ve been jabbed by experts under rapid fire in high stakes poker games and lived through marriages and boyfriends, work and life, kids and grandkids, so where was I mentally that I even let his jabs get to me? He argued with everything I said. I argued back. Every time I opened my mouth, he had a jab that included a sharp pointed barb with poison tipped edges.

I couldn’t convince him that it was poor etiquette and a tell on his play to ‘just fold’ when there was no bet to him. He didn’t care – about a lot of things was what I gathered from the time I spent with him. If it didn’t further his pocket or his existence, he just didn’t care. He couldn’t believe that he had to call all pairs in all stud games…even tho Greg and I both told him that was part of the dealing job…he still exclaimed about it over and over. He’d just never heard of such a thing. Well kiss my grits buckwheat. There might be a lot of things you never heard of since you’re all of 25 or so…but you ain’t gonna hear no more from me.

The last straw with me was when he was dealing to us, making all kinds of comments on play and what he thought someone had and didn’t have and on and on and on – and after my not having said anything to him in probably a half an hour, I finally spoke directly to him. I said, “You have an immediate answer to everything anyone says to you.”

Like a duck on a june bug, he was on it, “I sure do.”

I proceeded to explain that if he did that while he was dealing, he was going to have a lot of problems with a lot of players. He said he didn’t care. He always had a comment for everything. I told him if he made a comment to everything he would have more problems than he would like, with most players, and that he could never win an argument with a player.

WTF! He landed on that with his talons out and teeth snapping and tearing, “I’ve seen dealers win the argument with players!”

I tried again, “You can never win.”

“Yes I can.”

I said, “You are going to cost yourself a lot of money in tokes.”

He took off on that one. I gave up. I may have even ended by saying something like, “You would know more about it than I would.”

And I stopped.

He didn’t.

I didn’t say anything else to him for the remainder of the time he dealt to us. I barely told him goodbye when he left.

I’m always amazed at people that know everything and have to tell everyone that they know everything.

I do know this, I have a job. I know how to deal to everyone in the world that graces my table. I know that they are the customer and I am in the service industry. I know that I’m not a whipping post and don’t have to take any heat I don’t want to take. I also know that it is not my job to dish out heat. I know that if I don’t do my job well, which includes shutting my mouth, I don’t make any extra $$$.

If you want my help in learning to deal, shut up and listen. If you know everything and know how to deal, why are you wasting your time dealing to us in a 5c chip game? Go somewhere else and make the big bucks.

But another thing that truly amazed me…myself. Why did I even dance with him? He’s on a self absorbed, totally internalized, trip to becoming a fuel injected asshole, and the poker table is his choice of vehicles. I don’t have to be there. I try to avoid people like him so next time I’m invited to dance with a personality like that, I’ll just sit that one out. I like myself a lot better that way.