Get your tickets here folks. You won’t believe it! Real people playing poker at real tables – their rent is on the line – step right up, get a ticket now. *lights flash and then dim as the curtains rises. A hush falls over the crowd*

From a player in a $4-8 H game, “I just saw one of those people that play on TV walk by outside the room!”

OMG! How damned amazing is that? There’s a whole room full of them over there…stroll by and take a look. But make sure it’s a stroll because you can’t stand and gawk! Some of the kids behind the glass are paranoid and think you might see something they miss so they don’t want you watching, even through the glass. Besides, staring is rude…right? Right!

I often wonder what people really are thinking – or if they do think – when they come in to the room to play poker. I was out of the line-up tonight, standing at the front podium which was unattended by a list person that should be there handling sign-ups for the $2-5 and $5-10 NLH games. Daniel was there, in charge of the $4-8 and $8-16, but when a new face approached and wanted to find out about the NLH, Daniel sluffed it off with, “You’ll have to check with Tim.”

I hate that shit! If you’re standing there, and there’s no one else around, why not just ask their name, answer their questions, and put them on the list? Go figure! I told the new face that I would answer his questions. He had a sweater. The sweater had more savvy than New Face had. New Face thought he was being very cute with all of his stoopid questions. Like:

Stoopid Question: What are they playing in there?

Answer: $2,000-4,000 Mixed.

Stoopid question: Who’s the woman in there? I thought they didn’t let women play in there?

Answer: Jennifer Harman.

Stoopid question: Who is she?

And each stoopid question was rapid fire, without waiting for an answer, and then Tim came back to take charge of the board and basically walked off while I was trying to explain that New Face was to be added to the list…hello customer service.

New Face got a seat in a game with my help, I ran chips for him, and made sure his sweater had a seat. The sweater thanked me for being helpful.

*****

While dealing to Phil Laak AKA The Unabomber in a $25-50 NLH game, he was questioned as to when he would be on TV showing how he gave away all of his chips on K-2. He said that wasn’t him, it was the Cherry Bomber.

Tommy replied, “Don’t you just hate it when they take over your seat and won’t give it back to you?”

It was too funny for words.

*****

While dealing to Stan Schrier, Grant, Mike Ross, and Lee (Asian – long time player and last name unknown – other posts concerning him), in $300-600 Mixed, Lee tried to razz-ma-tazz Mike in every hand. Lee’s English is so badly broken that it’s hard to understand him most of the time. Unfortunately, I do understand him and that worries me.

The game was Deuce to 7 and Lee won a pot, after numerous raises, and draws – the action was heads-up. Lee was barking (and that’s the best way to describe his command of the English language – everything comes across as a bark) about his hand and trying to goad Mike Ross into something…who knows what. Mike is extremely good natured and never gets heated but he does throw out a little retaliation gab at times. As Lee kept barking and stacking the chips, Mike asked Stan something about his brother or Stan asked Mike something about his brother – the brother had played in the tournament.

Lee barked his way into the middle of the conversation, “My hand…you talk about my hand…”

After Lee’s third attempt to intrude, Stan looked at Lee and asked, “When they go into a huddle on the football field, do you think they are talking about you?”

I did bust out laughing. Lee is so bizarre that every statement that’s made, he thinks it’s about him and/or has something to do with him. Stan’s question just summed up the Universe of Lee.

*****

I hit a $50-100 PLO game late in the night. Eskimo was in the 2s, Lee Salem in the 5s, the game was full except for a lock-up in the 8s. Lee was drinking and can be entertainingly funny when he’s in that mode. I pushed the first pot to him; it was a Time Pot and had three $1 chips in it. He threw them to me. I thanked him, rapped them, as he was sorting through his chips and stacks in front of him and he said, “Wait! Give me one of them back.”

I responded, “Hell no! It goes against my principal to return money,” laughing as I said it and I was already throwing one back to him.

He said he had to have a chip of each color on the table and went on to tell the tale of how he was playing BJ one night and ordered some form of straight alcohol and needed a chaser. He couldn’t make up his mind what he wanted when the cocktail server ran through the list, so he told her to just bring him one of each. He ended up with seven glasses in front of him that were all different colors.

He was quite animated and talkative.

The WPT final with Joe Bartholdi and David Matthew had just finished an hour or so before. Lee started a conversation about how exciting it would be and even more entertaining if someone came through the door and robbed all the cash that was on the table during the heads-up competition. Especially at gunpoint. And how it would bring even more people to the event next year. Several people got into the mix – including Eskimo. Most disagreed with Lee, they felt it would be quite frightening to have someone appear with guns. Lee went on to say that it could be ‘staged’ and still would be great publicity.

I think it was Eskimo that said they should just rob a bank. It could be done with a piece of paper and was much faster and easier than trying to get $20 at a time from a ‘7-eleven’.

So this is how the down went – listening – pulling in bets – pushing pots – until my last hand. Lee and the 8s ended up heads-up for a nice sized pot with the 8s being all-in pre-flop. In order – the 1s asked me to call the Floor Person; I kept looking for one to call. At the same time, Lee asked the 8s if he wanted to ‘run them twice’.

I simply stated, “Sorry guys, I cannot run them twice,” as I tapped the table and burned and turned.

The 8s won the pot. As I was pushing it, Lee took off on me.

“Linda you need to find a young boyfriend, have a drink, and just relax.”

(Guess he was trying to state that I needed to get laid). I replied, “I am relaxed, Lee. There happens to be a note on the wall in the office that specifically states there is no deal making in these games.”

At the same time, I spotted Skip and called him to the table. Lee waved at me, “Get out of here! You need to relax and just deal without saying anything.”

Lee may have thought I called Skip on him but I actually called him for the 1s. Since Skip arrived, I asked, “Can they run them twice in this game?”

WTF? Skip didn’t know the answer and exited to the office to get a ruling. As I pushed back my chair to exit, Lee continued his verbal barrage about my getting a drink and relaxing and ‘they ran them twice at least 100 times a day in the room’.

The 1s and a few others were chuckling by now – not at me but at Lee. I smiled at Lee and said, “Thank you, Lee,” as I left the game.

I went straight to the office and spoke with Pete, telling him that Lee had too much to drink, and the conversation that developed. Pete told me that Skip had just been told they ‘could not be ran twice’ and was on his way back to the game.

As I left the office, I said, “If I could find a young guy that could keep up with me, I would do as Lee recommended.” Truthfully…that’s what I wanted to throw at Lee but it wouldn’t have made the situation any better.

When I left the office, I saw Lee in a heated verbal exchange with Nate – high limit floor person. When I spoke with Nate about it later, Lee was telling Nate that I should just look the other way and do what he wanted me to do. Nate stood his ground for me but Lee had been drinking.

This brings me to compromising my ethical standards and another situation. First let’s back up to the scene with Lee. In Bobby’s Room – where the limits are sky high and the players are all ‘pros’ – running them twice is allowed…although no one asks for it much. But the thought is that if anyone playing in that room wants to run them twice, there aren’t three or four tourists at the table trying to figure out what the hell is going on. The players involved aren’t going to have a fit if they get beat on all streets because they understand ‘running them twice’.

In essence, Lee just asked me to do something that I cannot do. Physically? Yes, I can do it. I cannot do it because I am paid by Bellagio to do my job. Bellagio is my employer, the player is not. If I compromise my position, I am cheating Bellagio. In order to cheat Bellagio, I would have to be a cheater. I am not!

Second – and the other situation: During the tournament, I dealt a Single Table Satellite for the $25,000 Tournament. When I slid into the Dealer’s Box, the blinds were at $3,000-6,000, going up every 20 minutes, and there were four players left. A few minutes later, the timer went off, the blinds were going to $5,000-10,000. One of the players asked me, “If we make it worth while for you, will you leave the blinds at the same level? It’s going to be a crap shoot now.”

I said, “I can’t do that.”

He said, “Other dealers are doing it.”

As I reset the time clock, he asked the other players, “Do you all agree, we’ll make it worth while for her to leave the blind at the same levels?”

They did agree. I didn’t! I said, “I may be slightly retarded here, but I can’t do something like that.”

The game went on. I got pushed. I spoke with several people in the tournament staff about that conversation. There were mixed comments. First – none of them had had that reported to them and they weren’t sure how to police it. The other comments were varied on these players trying to take a shot.

I felt they were cheating – especially other players in the same type of satellites around the room – in the respect that they wanted to play at a blind level for 40 minutes instead of 20 – giving them more time to ‘wait’ for a hand. I also questioned how they were ‘making it worth while for a dealer’ to do that. If they actually found a dealer to do it, were they paying them off outside the room? If so, that dealer is cheating all of the other dealers by making us look bad and by taking a % outside the room. Another huge factor is that Bellagio is being cheated because the table would be opened up to another satellite as soon as this one finished.

Are there other dealers doing this type of thing? I do not know. I don’t know how one would police it as there is so much noise and confusion going on that the dealer at the table is responsible for the time clock, the winner, etc.

I hate it! If it is happening – and I’m sure it does – it sucks. If you feel you have to cheat to win at poker, The Card Fairy will bust your ass sooner or later. If you cheat as an employee, anywhere, you are a LOSER! The Karma Fairy will bust your ass sooner or later.

Back to Lee Salem: It’s hard to hold him accountable in this situation because he plays in Bobby’s Room. I understand his thought and the frustration that he’s feeling over this and when it happened, he was NOT in Bobby’s Room. On my side of it, I work for Bellagio. I do what I know is right. No amount of money – in the world – would ever bring me to my knees and make me compromise my position on my own ethics and standards.

*lights go up – the curtain drops. The hush turns into a gasp. Someone has no place to sleep tonight.*