As many times as Riot wants. That is the answer – as it should be, when Riot comes to my house, I don’t do anything but Riot. That’s the same way it went when Kayanna lived in Las Vegas. A lot of her life, from birth to 5 1/2 years of age, she spent living with me. When she didn’t live with me, she spent weekends (my days off) with me. We watched the Rug Rats movie at least 100 times…simply because she loved the movie. I didn’t even dislike it after all that time, because I love her. On one particular occasion, I taped Kayanna doing Britney Spears. Britney was doing her big ‘Vegas’ show and it was going to be televised on HBO. I spent an hour – before Show Time – getting Kayannas’s outfits picked out (mainly my lingerie) and doing some make-up and hair on Kayanna. I taped Kayanna doing Britney. It was one of the most incredible events I’ve ever witnessed and I can’t wait to give it to Kayanna when she’s 19.

Little people fascinate me. If I was really wealthy – or found the perfect guy – I’d get married in a heartbeat just so I could adopt kids. They are incredible. If I was filthy rich, I’d have a home with 20 or so that I adopted – age three or so – and have a couple of “Nannies” to help me care for them. I would do nothing but those kids. Children are so beautiful. Why do we treat them so badly? Why do we create a world that is so hard for them to live in? Why don’t we love them, hold them, nurture them, and teach them how to build a better world?

****

And during a chat with my friend – discussing men, she’s having a problem, I’m not – this is why I’m single:

lrgeenen: Seriously, I want a guy that knocks my socks off, leaves me breathless, never EVER let’s me have a breath away from him or life, yet gives me freedom to be me…and can out run my twisted mind before it starts to twist.

****

I have to drift back to poker. My week left me wondering why I’m there. So many times we hear the cry about dealers that never do their jobs correctly and players that complain about dealers – hell…I’m one of them – but amazingly, when a dealer does their job, players that play on a regular basis bitch about it. I slipped into the box in an $80-160H game. Terri was in the 1s – Gary was in the 2s, the 6s is a regular player but I don’t know his name. And these players are the only ones that I knew in the game. The 5s was on a terminal rampage…raise…raise…raise…and he stacked the chips. From my side of the street, his winning could never be bad. He threw me a $2 tip each hand and it went up on several hands. He was a dealer’s dream.

Terri and Gary have been players in games I’ve dealt for a lot of years. They should know I deal – they play…right?

If I had my choice of people to win in that game, I would pick the 5s. I seldom ever realize my ‘pick’ of the game. I usually deal to the guy that hates his life and poker and me because I’m dealing the game. Lower limit games are much more sociable and the players are more prone to tip and forget about good play…it’s only when you step into high limit games that you run into players that are either totally prejudiced in their belief in what/how the dealer should run the game. That’s exactly where I was with this game.

The 5s was running over everyone. Good for me! The rest of the crew sat around, grim faced and ugly, hoping the Card Fairy would kick the 5s’s ass and make him behave as a real poker player should behave. But it just wasn’t happening.

Finally the 3s and the 5s went to war pre-flop. The 3s raised the 5s’s pre-flop raise. The 5s tried to raise but he did it incorrectly. He called the raise, reached back to his stack, and put out another $30. I called him on the raise. HOLY SHIT! I heard from half the table. Especially from the 3s, ‘…it shouldn’t be the dealer’s call.’

I said, “He made two distinct motions. He reached back for chips.”

For some reason, Gary – 2s, someone that I’ve been dealing to for along time and wasn’t even in the hand, made a comment that I couldn’t hear. Wow! WTF? Terri said, “She’s been dealing a long time…”

Gary made another comment, one that I couldn’t hear.

I did hear Terri, “What is your problem Gary?”

The 5s looked at me and said he wanted to raise. I told him he couldn’t make two motions, one as a call and reach back to collect more chips for a raise. The 6s intervened and told me that since it was so close, why would I say anything?

Get a grip here kids…should I only say something when you are in the pot? If so…which ones of you should I say something for?

Terri then said, “If she calls the floor, who’s word do you think the floor is going to take?”

While I’m not just saying you should take Terri’s word for it, you need to be aware of the fact that I watch my game. I’m not the average ‘joe dealer’ that watches TV or table talks and misses the action. I watch my players. That’s what my job description entails – that’s what I do. And whether you like it or not – I pay attention. What Gary’s problem is at this time has no bearing on my job. I did have a slight nudge of irritation that I couldn’t hear a word he was saying – yet I knew he was dogging me. Why? Answer unknown.

When I left the ‘down’, I thanked Terri. Hey…while you may not believe it, dealing is a lot of hard work. Especially if you do it right.

Later in the night I pushed into a short handed $30-60H game. I’ve dealt to the 7s many times and it’s always a headache. He wants to ‘fidget’ the Button. I had to literally take it out of his hand before I started the deal. His query, “Does it bother you?”

“Only when I start to deal, I don’t want to expose your card.”

This may be a stupid question but…I’m the dealer. Why can’t I have the FUCKING button where I put it? Why does it have to be where you think it should be? You relax…I deal the game. I don’t tell you how to bet or what to do according to position…you leave the button alone. We get along fine, Howlie Boy! GET REAL!

Same player, 7s, short handed, picks the Button up and sails it by my head to the 1s. I had my head turned to the 2s as I pushed the pot. Me, “Don’t throw anything.”

The 7s looked at me.

“I don’t even have attitude. I don’t want to dodge any flying obstacles.”

7s, “I’m only trying to help you.”

“Don’t!”

Merciful heaven, the 3s said, “She couldn’t even see it coming.”

He’s right and where are you fucking retards coming from? I don’t need your help. I don’t want to dodge your chips and the button and I don’t need you telling me what I missed or didn’t see. If you think I’m making a mistake, please tell me then. Preventative maintenance isn’t going to work here. I’m not the average dealer and if you, the player, pay attention, all dealers are not alike. Just as all players are not alike. Some of us don’t need help moving the button or figuring out whose turn it is. You play your hand, we’ll deal. If we make a mistake, help us then…just as we’ll help you when you FUCK up. In the meantime, you play, we’ll deal.

Guess this sounds like I’m grouching and that’s the way it is. There’s no happy medium. I play – I deal – and I know the answer is that there is no answer.