1) I dealt a $30-60 H in which the 10s picked up A-A and raised every street – even though he got raised by the 4s and the 4s had raised pre-flop, with the Flop holding Q-little-little. The 10s never slowed down, he couldn’t seem to give the 4s credit for having anything. The pot was huge, multi-way action until the River when everyone else missed their draw. The 4s turned over Q-Q, showing a Set.
The 9s had his cards in his hands and did a fake rip/tear and snarled, “If I ever win a fucking pot in this fucking place….” As he flip, twitched the cards a few seconds longer and then pitched them at the muck.
The 4s tipped me and when I said, “Thank you,” the 10s muttered, “You’d better thank him.”
Like – NO SHIT!
The 10s went on to get K-K beat by A-J off, and a few other hands that were ugly…but he couldn’t slow down. He raised and re-raised every hand.
We had players on the way from a broken game and at the end of a hand, I asked the 5 and 6s to square up as we were going to be ten handed. The 10s snapped, “How about if you just deal the next hand.”
I replied, “How about if you let me do my job, I’m pretty good at it.”
He didn’t say another word until I left the table, then he muttered something like, “Thanks for stopping by…”
I didn’t even waste my breath on a reply.
2) I hit a $40-80 Mixed Game. The 1s had a yellow button and hadn’t played a hand yet. He took the BB when I sat down. It was Omaha 8 or Better, the chips were flying in a four-way action pot, one winner…it wasn’t the 1s. He immediately did a, “Fucking bullshit…nothing ever fucking changes!” as he did the flip/twitch/jerk with his cards.
I said, “Ease up!”
He stopped with the swearing and settled in to play poker.
I know it’s not funny but yes it is. It’s something that should go in a TV show or movie, the real world of poker, as it really happens, not like the glitz and fritz that most people believe poker is all about. In truth, you get to see the worst side of people when they are at the table. (Sure, lots of them have their poker faces on and you see their good side all the time but I believe when a lot of the poker faces take a beat, they would like to react exactly like the person that’s ‘exposing their worst side’).
When I play, there are times I want to flip out and pitch my cards across the room. The long run of beats just make you wonder if you know anything about poker. Of course when you get to that point, you’ve lost it. I try to recognize all the factors that are nudging me in that direction and either take a long walk or just head for home for the night…sometimes for two or three weeks so I can kick it all out of my head and start over the next time I play.
Since I’ve been there a zillion times, watching someone else do it makes me want to laugh…probably more so at myself than at them.
A momentary outburst from a player doesn’t bother me, I understand it, but the following type of behavior, I can’t tolerate under any circumstance.
I settled into a $2-5 NLH game, all guys. The 5s was at least 6’5″, weighing somewhere around 300 lbs.; dressed in all black with ‘party poker’ on his shirt, a long neck chain that held a BIG gold cross, a black baseball cap that read something like ‘terminator’ or ‘prosecutor’ or something that I’d relate to vengeance or pain, dark sunglasses, a dark, short beard, and a giant prescription bottle on the table in front of him that he used to cap his cards with. His whole image was threatening.
There was no laughter or fun going on at this table; it was dark and quiet, as if everyone was waiting for the bomb to hit.
About three hands into my Down, the 4 and 5s had a small pre-flop raising war. The 4s check raised with an all-in bet on the Flop. The 5s instantly picked his cards up and did the high overhead, slam-dunk-splat into the rack with them. The cards did a bounce into the side of my hand.
I bored a look right through those sunglasses and demanded, “Just set your cards down!”
He was instant asshole; “I put them in the muck.”
I pushed the pot and said, “Just set them down.”
“I’ll fold however I want.”
“No…you won’t. Just set your cards down.”
“Call the Floor Man if you don’t like it.”
“I have a lot of experience with calling the Floor Man. Just set your cards down.”
He then did a totally stupid thing, “How do you want me to fold them?
I picked up two cards, tossed them gently in front of him, and said, “Like this,” and then picked them up and did the high overhead, slam-dunk-splat with them right between his hands and his chips and exclaimed, “Not like this!”
Did I forget to add that by now I was pissed? No one at the table said a word in my defense and the 5s was totally threatening with the move he made when he threw his cards.
A few hands later, the 4s threw his cards in and one of them skipped a little and flipped up when it the muck.
The 5s couldn’t wait to jump on that, “Now you’re throwing things at her.”
The 4s quickly said, “It was an accident.”
The 5s said, “Oh…it’s ok if it’s an accident.”
I was still pissed. I said, “That’s enough. Just drop it!”
The 5s said, “I didn’t hit you with the cards.”
I said, “Yes you did. I’m not here to argue with you, I’m here to deal poker. Just play the game.”
It stopped there. Until a few hands before I got pushed. The 9s was feeling something for the 5s – maybe he wanted a date later…hell if I know.
The 9s made a comment like, “Chris Ferguson can throw cards.”
The 5s chortled something that meant he’d found an ally. I ignored them both. When I got pushed, I stopped by the 9s and said, “I’ve dealt to Chris Ferguson. He NEVER throws cards.”
The 9s informed me that I was too hard on the 5s, they were losing money there and I shouldn’t have been so harsh with him.
Sh-e-e-e-it! If I’d been harsh with him, I’d have pulled out a gun and shot him. All I did was stop the crap – not only for myself but the dealers following me.
I queried, “Really? There’s no reason for anyone to do that.”
The 10s stated that he totally agreed with me – well hell…why didn’t he say something when the shit was going on?
The 9s went on to tell me that I should have been softer about it and another dealer would have been.
I said, “You should try sitting there sometime,” as I pointed at the box. I left.
Maybe the 9s could see himself in the 5s’s position, just as I could see myself in the previous accounts, and that’s why he was so sympathetic. Maybe they’re both sick in the head. IMHO, if they think slamming the cards at the dealer is the answer, they need to do something else to release that aggression before they take a seat in a card game.