This is an anniversary for me. Not a pretty one. In 1969, my husband of nine months died, leaving me alone, thousands of miles from family, eight months pregnant with a four year old son from another marriage, and to add despair on grim, I missed $50,000 in life insurance by about 11 days. Hell…I just didn’t have $18 to pay the premium and I never thought he would die at the age of 23. It happened so long ago and so many other events have filled in big chunks of time and space in my life that it’s almost as if it didn’t really happen to me…unless I’m in the mood to shake out all the saddies and saturate myself in sob.
My life has never been ordinary or easy; filled with numerous tragedies when I was younger and the struggle to raise children when money only stretched to a week before payday, and trying to raise myself at the same time (that may have been the hardest part of all of it) at times left me wondering how I would make it another day, let alone to the ‘golden years’. But this isn’t a tale of woe or crying. It is appreciation for learning to appreciate…I am to the nth.
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Friday night I managed to sizzle out of the line-up again. *gasp* What is going on? I was actually on hold when I hit the room; a strange experience that hasn’t happened in over a year that I can recall. I was also first on the Play List so within 20 minutes or so, I was looping the room, looking at games, people, the noise and confusion, and had my name on a $15-30 H list. When I did get a seat, I’d already met Michael, a Clan poster and Tango reader. He even managed to snag a seat in my game later in the night…he was in a $2-5 NLH game when I came in to work. By the time he got to my table, I was already clocked out and sucking down a Michelob Ultra. We visited, stacked chips, and played, played, played. I gave up my seat after a few hours, ready to start my weekend with a win, and I left Michael stacking chips too. Some of the greatest people in the world hang out at the poker table. *wonnerfulness*
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Saturday – yesterday – was Pan/Big Deuce/Poker night at my house. I had several new people coming, the regulars, and most special of all, Jason and Anah. Jason has returned from San Diego and therapy and arrived to spend a few hours with all of us…where he left off months ago before the motorcycle accident. He’s managing much better than I believe I would. There are no words to describe how great it was to share hugs and have the opportunity to sit and visit.
The card party busted up close to 1 a.m. and I had a hiking date with Chad, Greg, Christoph, and Monika at Mt. Charleston this a.m. And sleep – just what the hell is that? I’m running on empty We hiked the trail up towards Mary Jane Falls and went left – looking for Big Falls. We made it up into the canyon by crossing a raging little stream, run off from snow melting, too many times and finally gave up at a point where the remainder of an avalanche formed a treacherous bridge over the top of the stream. The walls of the canyon became steeper as our journey progressed. Greg took this picture, we are on the far right of the avalanche/ice bridge.
The streams are treacherous and tricky to navigate. The water’s raging, the rocks are slick, and most of the logs and debris that has washed downhill is unstable and won’t hold a person’s weight. We’d been climbing steadly up for well over an hour when we decided to give it up and head back. This is what we faced as we looked up the canyon towards Big Falls.
Perhaps another day later in the summer – the hike won’t be as difficult if the stream isn’t there, unfortunately if the stream isn’t there Big Falls probably won’t be either. But what the hell! It was a great day shared with great friends. Lunch at The Mt. Charleston Lodge and back home, in the desert heat by noon. It just don’t get any better than this! *appreciation in progress*