A tale of Two Grizzles with a Jarrod thrown in for the hell-uv-it. Most of the night was as smooth as an oil spill that spreads across water; low limit games, people laughing, and the game of poker.

I hit a $30-60 H game and Jarrod was in the 3s. Yes…multiple posts about him. He’s not a bad kid, he just has a lot to learn about the fine art of war across the green felt…although he thinks he pretty much knows it all.

One hand, Kenny – 2s was the Button, Jarrod – 3s was the SB, the 4s the BB. Kenny raised it pre-flop, Jarrod raised it to $90, the 4s put out $110 and I said, “Raise it…almost,” as I pushed the chips apart and motioned that he needed one more chip for the raise – Kenny was putting in $30 more.

The 4s put in the extra chip and I told Kenny the bet had gone to four bets. Jarrod said the 4s couldn’t be raising because he had put in only one extra chip. Now the 4s said he didn’t want to raise. I stated the raise stood.

Jarrod launched into a full scale argument that it was only one chip, the 10s backed me up and said it was two chips, and then Jarrod asked Kenny and the 4s if they minded if it was only $90 to go. They both said they didn’t care.

I stood firm; it was a raise. Jarrod wanted to know why I cared, if they didn’t mind, I was the only one objecting. I told him I cared that the game should run the way it was supposed to and I would get a decision. Jarrod argued that we didn’t need a decision, the players didn’t mind, what was wrong with me…why did I care.

I called for a decision, Boba arrived, I explained it to him, Jarrod jumped into it and told Boba the players didn’t care and I was the only one objecting. Boba set him straight (thanks so much, Boba), telling Jarrod that the raise stood, that I was doing my job, and that’s how the game should be ran.

Kenny ended up winning the pot. I got pushed into a $15-30 H and I heard Jarrod paged for $80-160 H which he took. And did I forget to mention that he slammed, pummeled, and jammed with 5 high in one pot in the $30-60 game…he needed a 4 to make a gutshot straight and didn’t hit it…got called down and had to show down. Another one he got caught trying to run over a player with 10 high, and yet another one, he blew off half of his chips with 10-2…which made absolutely nothing…the game was on…Jarrod was the game. Shortly after he left, it broke up.

My next game was in Bobby’s Room. It was falling apart with only Johnny C. and Chau left playing Chinese. They were each playing two hands. I still don’t understand the count and I don’t have to get involved so it doesn’t matter. They pushed huge amounts of chips back and forth, like $36,000 – $24,000 – and on and on, and they were still playing when I got pushed out of that game. It was painless, just deal four stacks until I ran out of cards, push the first hand to the player in front of the button, the second hand to the button, the next hand to the player in front of the button, and the next hand to the button.

Next game…hey…here goes. Jarrod was in the 2s, still jammin’. Sam G. was in the 5s (the 3s was empty) and the table was sprawled out like an eight handed game. Sam was in his usual ‘rare form’. He had a stack of $100 bills, clutched in his hand, and very few chips. The 4s was getting a massage and had some of his chips in racks. Sam obviously thought the 4s was the live one.

Sam raised, the 6s called, Sam asked if he looked yet, the 6s asked if Sam looked yet, Sam replied, “Three times.”

The ‘looked yet’ query went back and forth during my down like a game of pong, batted back and forth for no rhyme or reason because for sure no one was keeping score.

The 4s managed to almost knock over the rack as he pulled chips from it and I asked him if he’d mind taking his chips out of the rack. He said he didn’t mind at all. Sam told him he was slowing down the game. The 4s told Sam that he had to listen to me first and then to Sam. I was laughing.

Sam told him not to listen to me at all. I kept laughing. I looked at Sam and said, “You know I’m hard to get along with.”

Sam informed the 4s, “She’s a warden.”

A few minutes later the sky split open and chips spewed from Jarrod, Sam, and the 6s; the war was on. Giant sized war. The flop brought 8-8-4…I can’t even remember the Turn or the River but they were small cards and Jarrod announced, “Four eights are good. That’s the only hand that’s good,” as he slammed in another raise.

On the River Jarrod checked, Sam checked, the 6s bet and Jarrod hesitated, watching Sam. Sam did it just right, almost…almost acting like he was going to call, then Jarrod fired out $160 for the call, Sam folded and the 6s turned over four eights.

Sam announced that if anyone had told him he would lose $700 in less than an hour in this game, he would have killed himself. I busted out laughing. Sam verbally badgered and tried to maim the grey matter of these people and I just kept dealing. I got tapped out as Sam was telling me to take a hike or something like that, I told him I knew he loved me (defiant bitch that I am) and he mumbled something.

I said, “Hey, don’t be swearing now.”

He said, “I wish you were bungee jumping from Hoover Dam without the Bungee.”

I cracked up. I was on the nuisance break and my last game would be $300-600 Mixed. Don’t worry, when I hit that game, Sam was in 6s. Shaun was in the 7s. They were at war.

When I sat down, Sam did some mumble-jumble…”Oh my God! I can’t believe you’re in this game!” he was referring to me dealing and I just busted out laughing again. I can’t help it! He does all of these antics and makes all of this noise and it’s hysterically funny.

He lit up to my laughing. I told him I was a great dealer. He asked me how I figured. I told him that I ran my game, was courteous and polite, and pushed the pot to the winning hand. He said I dealt like shit! I kept laughing. Then he changed his tune. He informed me that he had changed his mind and he was going to think positive about me. It must have worked, he won almost every pot while I was there.

This down was pretty incredible as far as heat between players. I’ve seen Shaun and Sam go to war before but nothing like this. Sam won a big pot from Shaun in which Shaun had put in a $5,000 chip. Yes…Shaun got his change. A few minutes later, Shaun pointed out the fact that the $5,000 chip had disappeared from the table and he wanted it back in play. Truthfully, it’s hard to tell sometimes if these guys are serious or if they’re just looking to bust someone’s balls…not mine because I don’t have any.

I looked at Shaun and asked, “You want the $5,000 chip back on the table?”

Shaun said yes. Sam made a joke of it, that it must have been stolen…or it just disappeared…or…WTF. Then Sam made sure that he called Shaun an asshole for pointing it out – along with a few other finely tuned adjectives. By now I was sure Shaun didn’t care, he just wanted to point out to the table that it had disappeared.

Sam said that he wasn’t like the rest of them, he wouldn’t go all-in. He was playing behind.

I said, “There’s no playing behind. The chip has to be on the table to be in play.”

Lee was in the 8s. He took up the chant, “Get the floorman,” as he showed a $5,000 chip and in broken English tried to explain how Sam had put it in his pocket.

Jimmy W. was in the 3s, he said he thought that Sam should be allowed to leave the chip in his pocket because ‘someone’ might walk by the game and see the chip in front of Sam and demand payment…the game went on.

Tony was in the 4s and Sam and him did a little ‘tete a tete’ on playing heads up. They did a jabber war, “Get a f-kn’g dealer.” (Not because they were afraid to say fucking, just because they slammed out the word and enunciated it that way) – they slammed the sentence back and forth between each other until I busted out laughing again.

There were a lot more words between Sam and Shaun, and Sam made a lot more noise in telling everyone how he would win a million dollars before the night was over; they all played so bad; he was the best player; and more…but use your imagination here.

When I got tapped out, Sam asked me to come back and deal again. He said, “She’s a really nice person.”

I pointed to myself. He did a mock, “Moi?”

I hit the Time Clock. Two Grizzles and one Jarrod are enough for anyone in a night.