Bellagio is kicking off a daily tournament, starting today. The tournaments will begin at 2:00 p.m. All satellites start at 9:00 a.m. daily. The buy-in: Sunday through Thursday $540. Friday and Saturday – $1060.

My newly remodeled home away from home is draped and waiting to be filled with the noise of poker. Right now its wide expanse resembles a haven of peace and quiet away from the casino…that won’t last long. A female security guard stood inside yesterday/last night, and shooed people away when they moved the drapes to look at the room. Comical. If no one was supposed to look, they wouldn’t have removed the walls. It’s a teaser, like previews of a coming attraction.

It’s hurry-scurry time…race to sign the E/O list and try to escape for my weekend…but before I go…

One $2-5 NLH game was completely out of control when my butt hit the seat. The 4s was having the time of his life and really must have thought he was at the final table of a WPT tournament. And the whole game was about him…possibly the whole universe was about him.

I can’t help but chuckle over these types of players. Some of them are extremely hard to deal to because you can’t get their attention to even get them to act on their hand…they’re so busy showboating, exclaiming, drinking, and laughing. I find them to be delightfully entertaining but remember I’m a little T-W-I-S-T-E-D and I don’t have to sit with them hour after hour. I’m just there for that short 30 minute time span.

He had about $800 in front of him when I sat down and I pushed him a pot with about $500 more in it on the second or third hand I dealt. He was drinking, stacking, chuckling, patting himself on the back, and I couldn’t get his attention to act on the next hand. Simple. I asked his name. I had to put my hand out, on the table, in front of him, to even get his attention for that question.

He ‘really’ looked at me then and did a double take in taking it to mean that he didn’t tip me. He did a, “Oh….” and threw me two Red Birds.

SWEET! But that wasn’t my purpose in asking. His name is Allen. After that I called him by name to jump start the action when it came to him.

The rest of the table was pretty quiet…well hell…how could they be heard over Allen?????

One hand that still has me laughing…because of the dialogue, not the way the hand went down, started with Allen and the 8s. A raise pre-flop by the 8s, the Flop Q-9-?. Allen bet $30. The 8s said raise and then set out a stack of $100 and reached back for another stack.

I told the 8s he could only raise it the amount of the original stack. (Yup, if he set out $30 and then reached back for a stack or more, or said how much he was raising, it would have been a different set of circumstances).

Allen was faced with a $70 raise to which he promptly stated, “All-in!”

The 8s, young, looked like he might have been kicked in the stomach. He had another $300+ in front of him and he went into ‘think mode’.

He asked, “Do you have two pair?”

Allen returned, “Do you want to suck my dick?”

I snorted, “ALLEN! We are NOT doing that here. Knock it off.”

He looked at me like a kid in kindergarden looks at his teacher and with a totally straight face, queried, “Well…he asked me a question, can’t I ask him one.”

I replied (trying not to laugh my ass off), “Only if it’s related to the hand in progress.”

Tim – Floorman – must have heard me snort. He appeared and wanted to know if everything was ok. I told him it was, we were just going to settle down and play poker.

The 8s thought and thought and thought and finally called. Allen turned over J-9 Off. The 8s turned up A-A and won the pot.

While the 8s was stacking, he was racking, getting ready to do the massive exit. I asked him, “You’re not upset are you?” referring to the statement Allen had made.

He said, “No. I’m just happy to win that pot.”

He threw me some ‘red’ too. Better than sweet – I was laughing and it was raining red chips.

In the meantime, Allen was going all-in in another pot. It took about two of those and Allen was buying chips. He won a pot just before I left and told me he’d tip me but…

I told him it was not a big deal and of course he said he’d see me later…what time did I get off, etc., etc., etc. because I was ‘alright by him’. He just wanted to play. He’d found his stage and had an audience.

Another incident that still has me roaring. Jarrod. Used to play only $4-8 H. Eventually moved up to $15-30 then $30-60 and must’ve went bonkers a few times because he played ‘down’ the limits too. Now he seems to be sending out roots in the $30-60 and $80-160. (He’s the subject of a few posts about two years or so ago).

He was in the 9s in a $30-60 game. Headphones, dark glasses that were sometimes on his hat, sometimes on his eyes, and he was mixing it up in a few pots.

Jonathan sat down in the 10s, took the BB, Jarrod asked if Jonathan chopped, “No, I play.”

Jarrod raised, Jonathan folded and Jarrod showed 8-3 off. *chuckles* He’s young and cocky…hell, nothing wrong with that but sometimes it won’t take you where you want to go.

Jonathan will be a father soon and we visited briefly about how things were going with the stork arriving in about eight weeks.

A few hands later, Kenny – Bellagio regular – and Jarrod were in a raised, heads-up pot pre-flop. Kenny put his hand out, on the table, and patted the table (he checks in the blind a lot and he was checking the Flop) before I burned and put up the Flop. As soon as Kenny did that, Jarrod did the same thing – hand out in front of him, patting the table.

I burned, put up the Flop, burned, and put up the Turn.

Jarrod went nutzzz. Ripped his head phones off and asked me what I was doing? *gales of laughter from everyone*

I told him he checked.

Everyone was explaining that he did check, just like Kenny checked. He argued. He said that he thought Kenny was telling him Nice Hand by patting the table and he was agreeing that why he patted also.

This brought even more laughter. Some of them were chuckling and talking about Jarrod’s ego if he thinks he had the best hand and was being congratulated before the end of the hand. I just found it overall to be hysterical…I know he’s been playing at least three years – so…

It took a few minutes to convince him that he had indeed checked and the game went on. I don’t even remember who won the hand. But all in all he took it pretty well once he got over the initial shock of seeing the Turn card appear instantly after the Flop.

Hey…there’s no law that says you have to pay attention, but it sure doesn’t hurt your bankroll if you do.