An update for all of you tournament buffs. Bellagio will begin daily tournaments on Friday, April 22nd, at 2 p.m. Sunday through Thursday the buy-in is $540. Friday and Saturday the buy-in is $1060. Satellites begin at 9 a.m. every day.

Onward and upward. Continuing with ‘post-poned’. During the course of the night, I hit a $4-8 H game in which a youngster named Chad was in the 1s. Chad was barely able to sit in his seat, having the time of his life, gamb-o-ling to the max, and definitely had too much to drink. He kept sticking his face into my left arm and talking to me…it was funny then – and now. He had several friends in the game and they had their own game going on but it wasn’t interfering with the play of poker.

Chad told me he remembered me from the last time he was here. He said I told him not to play Ace-Little unsuited…and I was right…he never did now. Truthfully, I can’t remember ever saying that to anyone. I quit giving lessons about five years ago. I just went with the story because he was so convinced I’d helped him with his game.

He called a raised from the 2s with 7-8 off. He caught a pair on the Flop and called all the way down and won the pot. The 2s showed A-J off. Chad was jubilant that he won the pot and chattered…maybe a little too much but what the hell, he was in Vegas, having fun, and playing poker, so why not?

The 2s told him to ‘Shut the fuck up and just play!”

I barked, “Hey! That’s enough. We aren’t doing that here.”

The 5s looked at the 2s and said, “Don’t tap on the glass too hard.”

The 2s shut up but a few minutes later he waltzed down to the 5s and asked what he meant. Who the hell is the dummy here? The 5s explained it and the 2s went back to his chair all happy and content.

IMHO the 2s never had a chance in this game.

I left Chad a bit later, he was still having the time of his life…even after I asked him if he wanted water or something else to drink…that was after about the 14th time he stuffed his face into my arm. He said he was ok. I took his word for it.

Somewhere down the line, a few tables later, I ran into Sam G. again. It was just as funny and perplexing to deal as the Wednesday’s Tournament. It was a $200-400 Mixed game. Shaun S. was in the 1s…as a sweater for Sam.

Let’s face it, I could skirt the issue but I’m not going to, Sam had been ‘put’ in the tournament by Shaun. Shaun is long term, high limit, stakes Sam from time to time, and plays the game himself. He’s the age of my boys and he knows my boys. He’s very ‘player/dealer’ friendly to me and very good to me. No one gives me to much shit as long as Shaun is in the game. He just gets right in their face and then looks at me and says, “Linda, honey, go ahead. You know what you’re doing.”

SWEET! Love this kid!

By now Shaun had cashed and was waiting on Sam. Sam was still in the game, playing Shaun’s money, in the 2s. The other players? Brian N. was in the 3s. David L. was in the 5s, Cuckoo was in the 7s.

I’ll paint the picture but you might have to close your eyes and take a deep breath…relax…exhale, let your thoughts go…just to fine tune the reception.

Cuckoo was in his usual, ‘Fuck. What the fuck is going on? The fucker didn’t know a fucking thing. What was the fucking fucker thinking?” mode.

David L. had two sweaters. One of them plays $30-60 H and I get a huge kick out of him but he seemed defensively positioned to take out anyone that might look at David crosseyed…he was almost bristling if anyone said anything in David’s direction. David is relaxed and funny during most of his play and talks some ‘smack’ at the other players from time to time.

Brian was stuck and ultra ugly…if he wasn’t stuck…he wouldn’t be there that late.

Shaun and Sam were involved in a little tete-a-tete when I arrived. Shaun stood up, talking to me, showing me his bankroll and a check he’d taken from someone there and how he had no money left…not true but it sure sounds good on paper.

Sam had to jump in the middle of it and wanted to know who wrote the check…blah…blah…blah?

Shaun walked off. He returned a few minutes later and barked at Sam, “Let’s go.”

Sam posted his blind.

Shaun did a, “Ok. If you go off like a rocket, don’t call me tomorrow,” and left.

After Shaun left, the conversation was hysterical. “Go off like a rocket? How about a burned match?” from Cuckoo.

Sam told everyone how he’d taken second place in the tournament and Shaun took half of that. And then informed them how he was beating this game but Shaun snatched most of that and left with it too.

It really was pretty funny although the game was grim and no fun to deal. Sam verbally dropped kick them off of the 10th floor every chance he got and waited for them to crawl back up so he could do it again. He teased Cuckoo with the bargain that Cuckoo could be his backer and when Sam won all the money, Sam could tell Shaun that he now had a deal with Cuckoo. It was neverending.

Of course a small crowd of ‘Sam’ admirers had gathered behind the ropes and Sam. He looked over his shoulder at them a few times and ignored them.

Brian took another beat in Deuce to 7 and ‘splatted’ his cards onto the table, one of them slid off onto the floor. I called Carmen. She picked up the card and asked me, “Who?”

I told her and she emphatically took the ‘downed’ card and placed it on the table with, “We are going to set our cards down like this,” as she gently pushed it towards me. I then counted the deck down and started the warfare all over again.

Cuckoo and Sam ran the ‘go off like a rocket’ vs. ‘a burned match’ so many times I felt they were trying to brainwash me.

Sam now decided he didn’t like the players standing behind him so I had to call the floor for that. Another dealer walked by David L. and they exchanged hellos. Sam informed David that he got along with all the dealers…and if the cards broke even, he would be one before long. *mega gee-haws*

It was funny. Then Cuckoo jumped into the middle of it and motioned towards me, “Do you think she’s breaking even?”

What that was supposed to mean I have no idea – at least I can express myself without using fuck fourteen times in a sentence so I think I’ve done better than break even…

Mercy of God! I got pushed.

My butt landed in a $80-160 H game. I had a front row seat to the game I’d just left. Three femme fatales waltzed up to the rail surrounding the Poker Pit. Stomachs showing, Victoria Secrets type of clothing exposing most of their bodies, and the boys in the game I just left were leering.

Carmen walked up to the Femmes and asked them if they wanted to watch a poker game. Yes indeedy! They were ushered into seats by the boys in the game I just left. All of a sudden the gloom disappeared. Smiles burst into bloom and poker took on a completely new face.

It was too late for me. I’d already been there.