I got into a $15-$30 holdem game last night in which Joe was in the 8s. He’s a great tipper, makes a bit of noise and is definitely his own fan club. I get a kick out of him in the game but he hates the rules and he gets away with a lot because he does tip.

I – on the other hand – stick with the rules. Sometimes I wonder why. When no one else does it, my job is so much more difficult.

Joe’s chips were in a rack. I smiled at him and asked, “Joe are you leaving soon?”

He – knowing what I meant – turned to the guy next to him and queried, “What did she say?”

The guy repeated my question. Joe said he knew what I asked and knew his chips weren’t supposed to be in the rack but I was the only dealer that it bothered. No other dealer, supposedly in hours, had a said a word. He did take them out of the rack.

The next few hands, Joe folded as soon as the 7s reached for chips, causing the player behind Joe to fold. I cautioned Joe on waiting until the 7s had completed his action before Joe released his hand.

Joe looked at me, “One more rule, Linda, and I’m out of here.”

I wanted to snort, “Do your talking walking, Buckwheat!” but instead I patiently explained, “If he intends to raise and two or more players fold behind him before his chips are out, he cannot raise.”

Two players agreed with me…yipppeeee! Joe apologized to the 7s but never looked at me. He got called for a table change and as he was leaving, I gave him my best smile and said, “Have a good night, Joe!”

After Joe left, the 10s was chuckling with me, “Wouldn’t it be funny if he moved right into your next game?”

I told him that was Murphy’s Law of Poker Dealing. If I have a problem with a player, I’m going to deal to them every night for the next week and some times two or three times in a night because they game shift. All in all, the down was fun and Joe wasn’t upset with me but he was serious about the ‘rule’ thing.

If everyone did their job, mine would be easier.

Just as Cardz Law of Dealing Poker dictates, I dealt a $500-1,000 game Mixed Game (with the 3s from the last post – in which he called me ‘a liar’). When the night started, I thought I’d never make it to Table 12, but as luck (bad luck) and reroutes work, there I was along about 1 a.m. The 3s was in the 6s and six of the players were Asian – including the 6s. He finally got involved in one hand, late in my down, small pot, and lost.

He looked at the 5s and said, “Look at her face, it looks like a mask,” as he motioned to me. The 5s looked at me while the 6s continued, “She’s my favorite dealer.”

Without missing a beat, I looked at him and exclaimed, “You’re my favorite player! What a coincidence.”

The 5s almost fell off of his chair laughing. The 6s loosened up then. He won a couple of pots and threw me $1 each time. Whoooopeeee! It’s Big Buck City here in these big games. But best of all, he decided to get off my case.

*****

Interested in Bellagio’s $25,000 Heads-up Limit Holdem Tournament? Sixteen players signed up. If the number of contestants were ‘odd’, the draw would have given a contestant a ‘buy’. The tournament started yesterday. I dealt to Barry and Jennifer – Jennifer clearly had the chip lead during my down, and to Bruno and Jeff – they were in the first hour when I sat down. This page will give you a little clearer picture of how it works.

*****

Color me gone…have to go entertain myself with the life of a poker dealer.

The night from hell, specially prepared by the Card Fairy’s evil cousin, Cardz. Cardz is an abomination that makes sure everything that could go wrong does. Cardz was out and about, running here and there, wreaking havoc at every table I sat down at…why me? I’m still trying to find the answer.

My first game was $40-80 7 Card Stud. New set-up, spread a fresh deck, “Double antes for Time please.” Take time, deal the first hand. As I pull the deck together, Cardz literally snapped a card up out of the deck and it fell on the floor to my left. The player next to me stated, “There’s a card down.”

Like…NO SHIT! I look down to two cards on the floor. Same player asks, “Do you count the deck?”

“Yes!” as I’m counting down to 53 cards. Whoopppppeeeee! I look at Jimmy S. in the 3s and ask, “Did you count those with me?” as he watched my hands. He shook his head no.

I recount, 53 cards. Change the deck and the game goes on, the rack is down $15. Don’t worry, I only hit one table during the night that the rack was right on…all the rest of them were up $20 or down $25 or some such nonsense that just adds extra stress to the art of dealing. Each dealer I pushed never told me the rack was one way or the other…they probably didn’t even count it. I reported the difference to a supervisor each time.

I hit table 19, $30-60 Holdem, announced, “Six for time please,” collected the time, brought in a new set up, the rack was down, reported that, scrambled and as I dealt, Steve in the 8s laughed and made a comment about me being so slow…he’s a ‘friendly’. He then asked me if they piped sound into the card room to make it so noisy that we can’t hear anything.

I replied, “Bose was commissioned to put their dynamic sound system coils all through the room so each sound would be amplified and we’d eventually go crazy with it!” *laughter*

I got through that game and onto $15-30 Holdem. They were ramming and jamming, double clutching and down shifting for the curves as they threw in every chip they could…Jim was in the 9s and having a horrible time. Every time he made a hand in a huge pot, someone else made a bigger hand. I’ve never seen him as frustrated as he was and to top it off, when the next dealer came up behind me, he looked at her and exclaimed, “Get her out of here!”

I was startled by that comment…but that’s poker. The dealer asked me if we were having fun yet. I replied, “I usually do. I can’t have a bad day just because they are playing poker.”

My next game was a doozy. $400-800 mixed. The 3s and I’ve had a few words when I’ve dealt to him on other occasions and tonight was no exception. Everyone else had $100 chips on the table and he had three $5,000 chips. He’d been playing for awhile and it would have been quite easy for him to get a chip change or to get chips from one of the other players but…Cardz must have been snooping this game too and put the bug in the 3s’s ear that I was on the way.

The first hand of Deuce to 7, the 3s and Meng La – 7s, went to war with three bets before the first draw. The only chips in action was the $5,000 and twelve $100 chips in front of Meng La. The 3s instructed me to put his $5,000 chip in front of Meng La.

“Why? Whatever he has in front of him is what plays on the piece!”

I received a grunted, “Ok!”

Meng La won the hand, $3,600 on the piece. The 3s was convinced that he only owed $3,500. Wow! I know my math ain’t what it should be at times but how do you get an odd $100 in a game structure of even bets? It took two other players to convince him.

It ended up being the 3s and Meng La in every hand of Deuce and they were jamming. The final…Meng La won the pot and the 3s owed $2,800 on the piece. I clearly stated, “$2,800 – you have $2,200 coming!” as I started to count out the $100 chips in front of Meng La.

The 3s barked, “Just give all the chips to him.”

I stopped. He continued, “You are trying to give me $1,200.”

I said, “No, I was trying to give you $2,200,” as I pushed all the chips to Meng La and Meng La counted out $2,200.

The 3s snorted, “You’re a liar.”

I looked directly at him with a cold stare and said, “No! I am not a liar.”

He wouldn’t give me eye contact…he took two more hands and left the table in a huff. No one stood in my defense in this game – but why would they. They had him right where they wanted him, stuck and steaming.

My next game was $2-5 blind NLH. LeiLei was in the 2s and a guy she’d gone to dinner with the night before was in the 9s. They carried on a private conversation across the noise and insanity of the table. Everyone was talking – the game was at a standstill and there was no way to move it along. Thanks a lot Cardz…you jerk!

Every game I’ve ever dealt with LeiLei in it is a nightmare. She’s nice and friendly but her breasts proceed her in every thing she does and she makes sure they are the focal point of everyone. The game is at a standstill as she commands the show.

A seat opened. The 10s informed me there was a seat open. I said, “I know. My Brush Person is not at the Podium and until they are, there’s no reason to call it.”

We now have a feeder game that feeds all the other games – it changes all the time…new day, new rule. And we were going to get a player because we were not the ‘feeder game’. One arrived, just as I was finishing the down. He took the 6s. The button was in the 8s. I asked him if he knew what his options were…rather I yelled it because no one could hear anything anyway. He said, “No!”

The 10s informed me he was from a must move game. I replied, “Yes! I know.”

I proceeded to explain that he could come in for free right now or wait one full round for the button to pass him and come in for free.

The 10s informed me, again, that he was from a must move game and didn’t have to post.

My voice got louder, “I didn’t say he had to post. This is not my first day. And I’m trying to explain his options to him.”

Cardz don’t ever drift into the parking lot when I’m on my way home…I’ll wring your silly little neck.

I tried again, with the same statement of coming in for free. The 10s jumped in again, “He doesn’t have to post.”

This time, as I stood up, I yelled, “I didn’t say he had to post.”

I was wondering if I could drop kick the 10s into the casino and do it before anyone could stop me…

I had lost it an hour ago, it just took until now to show up. I hit another $30-$60 game and spread a deck out of the well, turned it face down and found a green card in a brown deck. Frustration to the max, I yelled, “Boba, I need a set-up!”

He came over with the new set-up and told me quietly to watch my tone. He was right! I apologized to him later.

My next game – $80-160 Holdem with a snotty little Asian in the 2s that tried to run over the game with 6 high and when he missed a straight or didn’t make a pair, just couldn’t believe that he hadn’t won a hand with me. Hell…I’ll fall for it. I can’t believe it either.

He too had the $5,000 chip thing going on and once I tried to give him back the wrong change. I apologized to him and the player that won the pot. That wasn’t good enough! He lectured me for five minutes about how I shouldn’t apologize to the other player, I was supposed to apologize to the player that I tried to ‘cheat’ out of the right change. I never said a word because if I had, I might have lost my job…hey…that’s a thought!

The bright spot of the night was that while I was dealing the one and only $4-8 holdem game of my night, my friend, Murph, stopped by for a minute. We visited briefly between the push on 26 and 27. How nice to see a friendly smile in a sea of Cardzs.

The $4-8 was the only low limit game I dealt…it wasn’t much fun either…and yes, the rack was down in that game too.

Some days I wonder if I’m in the right profession…

The end of “Post-poned”. $4,000-$8,000 Omaha 8 or Better and $1,000-2,000 Blind PLO. There were some serious amounts of chips on the table.

Sammy F. – 1s with a sweater…blonde, cleavage to the extreme. They were drinking something wonderfully, tangerined color in long stemmed flutes…frankly I wish they’d bought me one – or even offered. Swear to God, I might have chugged it before my butt hit the dealer’s chair…just kidding!

Phil I. – 3s hidden behind a mountain of chips – as in he had most of them on the table – and he had multiple sweaters…a guy with a good looking chick sitting on his lap.

A full rack of $500 chips sat alone in the 4s.

Minh – 5s doing what he does best, watch everyone else and wait for a hand.

Lyle B. – 7s had a sweater also. A guy I’ve never seen before.

Chip R. – 8s. Chip was the usual Chip, quiet. On the phone for part of the down.

I announced, “Time pot!” spread the new deck, shuffled, and asked Minh if the 4s was a player. He took off in his hard to understand English and said no, then continued for another two or three minutes, speaking to me and the table but looking directly at me as he expressed that I was smart enough to ask, some of the dealers just sat down and dealt the rack in. I nodded and kept dealing as he kept talking.

Sam was totally focused on his sweater and when I told him the action was to him, I had to put my hand on his arm to get his attention. He grabbed his arm and jumped into a fake, “Ouch! You’ve hurt my arm,” as he smiled at me and asked how much he could sue for. Then he demanded, “What game are we playing?”

I laughed. I thought he was kidding. They were only playing two games and we were on the fifth hand of Omaha 8 or Better. I told him. He turned to his sweater and told her I was the only dealer he liked, threw his hand away, and went back to the ‘sweater business’.

The next hand was almost a repeat of the first, Sam demanding to know the game and folding. He and Lyle had a thing going on between them that wasn’t obvious when I first sat down but grew into their own personal game in the middle of the game.

There was some chip passing going on from Phil I. to Lyle, Lyle to Chip, Lyle had a score sheet and a pen in front of him (before you take off with this isn’t allowed in poker room rules, this particular game is a game played by a select few. If they want to pass chips, etc., it affects no one but them because there isn’t a waiting list. They play against each other all the time and know each other better than a lot of married couples know each other).

Sam was playing to his audience. He goaded everyone to throw out the Omaha 8 or Better and just play PLO. His sweater danced to his tune…maybe he was dancing to hers as she agreed with him. When he raised, he exclaimed, “Raisey Daisey!” When he called, he exclaimed, “Calley Molley!”

His sweater repeated his raisey daisey thing on several occasions and I couldn’t help but chuckle. It was quite a show. At one point, Lyle was facing an all-in bet from Sammy, in which Lyle was prodding Sammy if he was playing behind. The discussion took about five minutes and finally Chip had to interject to move the hand along. Sammy and the sweater were agitating Lyle about ‘did he bring more money with him…how embarrassing to run out of money in Vegas…’

I can’t imagine Lyle ever running out of money in a poker game so…

The show went on. Lyle called Sammy’s all-in which was around $40,000 and Sammy won with some freak hand that gave him two pair…like sevens and deuces against Lyle’s A-A-K-?

During one hand, I knew it would happen this way, it was action pre-flop with a raise, and Sammy asked me how much was in the pot. I said, “Hell if I know!” as I counted it out…$35,000. It was the only hand that I didn’t know what was in the pot so I had to be asked how much????

There was so much going on, it was hard to focus on the game. At one point, Sammy was doing the dialogue dance with Lyle and forcing Lyle’s attention to Sammy’s sweater. Sammy even reached behind her back and jiggled/wiggled her bra up and down. Lyle was all ‘eyes’ and so was Lyle’s sweater.

My front row seat ended a few hands later. As I waited for the next dealer to finish the hand at table 3, I turned to Sammy and whispered, “Thanks for saying I’m the only dealer you like.”

Not because I really believe I am but it makes it much easier to survive these downs if you can get along with the players.

He queried, “Oh…you heard me say that?”

His sweater jumped right in with, “He really paid you a great compliment.”

Sammy told me I understood the player’s mind. That’s why he likes me.

Oh God! That’s the side of it that scares me sometimes…I really do.

The promised post…this is how it started. I hit the poker room and got slammed back into the parking lot by all the noise and body heat. It was wall to wall people, sound that never had a beginning or end but kept rising, and poker action.

I had gone into the office, clocked in, and Cuckoo was meandering down the hall way to the office. He stopped to talk to someone and gave me a half assed nod – like he knew me from another time and place but I didn’t place high enough in the gray matter data base to be truly acknowledged. As I was walking out of the office, I asked, “What the hell kind of hello is that?”

He has a devilishly, impish grin when he’s not physcially attached to a seat at the table. “Oh…you want something like this?”

With that, he gave me a hug. I wished him Happy Holidays. Actually I wish he’d win enough money to leave town and never play poker again or that I’d win enough money to leave town so I never had to deal to him again.

As luck would have it, I was starting on Table 1 – right where Cuckoo was holding court. $1,000-2,000 Mixed. David – 1s, Jimmy W – 3s, David O. – 6s, Jeff – 7s, Cuckoo – 8s.

I announced, “Time pot!” pulled the shuffled deck out of the “master”, did a quick once over on the rack which held $1,000 in chips (for big chip break down) instead of the normal $500, cut, and dealt Omaha 8 or Better. The first hand went into action so I broke a $500 chip down and put $50 on the Drop Slot for Time. The hand ended up being three quarters to Jeff and one quarter to David O.

Cuckoo went into a full blown, the Earth is coming up at 1,000 miles an hour, tailspin when I pushed the big chips and gave $75 to Jeff and $75 to David O. Cuckoo tried to take the extra Quarter back from David O. and give it to Jeff. All the while telling me I was wrong because the Dollars stayed in $100’s and weren’t broken down. I told him it was a time pot so it was broken completely down. He argued. I called Carmen. Carmen agreed with me. Jimmy W. agreed with me (not that I need to be agreed with, it’s the house rule). David O. agreed with me.

Cuckoo grabbed the $50 off the drop slot and tried to show Carmen that the whole $100 went to Jeff and David O. only got $50 because the other $50 was in the drop slot. Even though he protested that it was the stupidest fucking rule he’d ever heard, he finally gave it up. The Time was dropped, the hand finished, and the next game was Razz.

The first hand I dealt, it went to heads up with a raise. Fourth Street gave the low hand an Ace of Hearts and a Deuce of Clubs. I called, “Deuce of Clubs.”

Cuckoo went into a thing. “You mean Ace of Hearts.”

The hand ended with a bet from the low hand and as I changed decks and asked for antes, I said, “No. I mean the Deuce of Clubs.”

It was another five minute ordeal in which he told me I was wrong. His version, I was supposed to call the lowest card in the hand to start the action, as in the Ace of Hearts.

The only other thing I said was, “No. I call the high card of the low hand. And I’m going to take back my hug if you don’t watch out.”

As he started to jump on my miscalling the card, the other players set him straight. They flat out told him he was wrong, where had he been, and did he know we were playing Razz? Jeff went so far as to tell him that he owed, “This lady an apology because she was right on top of it…”

Not to worry, I never got the apology but I didn’t care. I just kept dealing.

The conversation moved away to an incident that happened a few days ago with David O. believing he’d made a ‘7’ in Deuce to 7. He’d turned his hand up on the River and stated, “Seven.”

His opponent mucked and the dealer never caught the fact that David had paired. David was asking Jimmy’s opinion on finding an arbitrater because David’s opponent felt (someone/somehow pointed out the fact that David had paired after the hand was over and the pot was pushed) wanted David to give him the amount of the pot.

David didn’t feel that he’d done anything wrong because he honestly believed he’d made the hand. His opponent stared at David’s hand and didn’t see the pair. The dealer didn’t see the pair.

The question kicked around was, “Do you think another player at the table should point out the hand?” and everyone at the table seemed to feel that 90 million people had seen the hand…all except for the opponent and the dealer.

Cuckoo of course had his opinion on the whole deal. It was “the fucking dealer’s fault.” – “The dealers never do their job.” – “They can’t read a hand.” He went on and on about the dealers.

I never got into the middle of that one. I just kept dealing. As far as I can figure, Cuckoo’s Court was out of control and the only reason it ever happens that way is because of the dealer…whether we are doing our job or not. Damn dealers! I’ve always wondered – if we are such horrible people handling all that money that belongs to those great poker players – why don’t they have a private game and deal to themselves and each other? *Snort – choke – ROFL*

My next game was Sammy F.’s table. Post-poned until tomorrow.

Damn it! I came home from work early this a.m., did a brief check on email, hit the bed and drifted off into Sandman Land. Wonderful! Woke up to “YOU CAN’T CONNECT TO THE INTERNET!!!!”

After doing all those little techie things myself, like disconnecting the cable modem from the power supply, network cable, reboot the systems, check the ‘network’ settings and ‘repair the connection’ – blah, blah, blah, I gave up and called Cox. One technician ran me through a set of drills, some of which I’d already done. I was able to log onto a website. Hang up the phone!

Aghhh! Can’t log onto any website. Call Cox. Another technician tried a few other things, long onto several websites, hang up the phone.

What? Can’t log onto any website. Call Cox. Repeat…finally this technician connected me to a ‘higher grade of tech’. We walked through several of the same steps and he concluded that either the operating system was having a problem with the registry and breaking the connection or it might be my network card or it might be my cable modem…AGHHHH!!!!

I jumped past the networking card by connecting my modem through a USB cable. That meant finding the installation disk for the modem etc. Done deal. I’m now able to connect but it took two wasted hours of my precious time and lots of irritation for me. Damn, double damn, triple damn! I hate it when I have a computer problem.

I had a wonderful little run of a post to put up and now it will have to wait until tomorrow because I’m out of time and out of patience…oh yeah and work is waiting.

Check back though, it’s about a little $4,000-8,000 game with superstar Sammy F. Even though most of the dealers wish he’d just get sucked into the cooling system I just can’t help but chuckle over his antics and his personality.

A shorty before I leave for my home away from home, Bellagio’s Poker Room. This is one of the most over used and least understood statements at the poker table, “If no one objects…”

First, if you’re playing at home, objections are usually in strings of expletives and the game is geared for action, action, action…a free for all if you will.

If you’re playing in a casino game, “If no one objects…” means someone is trying to bend the rule in their favor. If a player wants to bend the rule to allow you to pass chips to your losing buddy, or get past the No Short Buy-In Rule, or one of those types of rules that actually protects the game and the players, beware because you are the live one they are trying to keep in the game. If they are trying to pump up the action by adding ‘the rock’ or another push that makes you put more money in the pot, they know they have the best of it and are trying to take advantage of you.

Second, if they throw out the line, “If no one objects…” even though you may object, you don’t want to be singled out as the person that threw a wrench in the gear. Why should you even be put through the mill with that one? The reason behind poker rules in casinos? To protect the game and the players.

Beware of the dude that throws in a wrinkle and when the dealer states it can’t be done, they continue with, “Well…if no one objects…”

If no one objects…I have to leave for work.

Damn it! I object!

Tough, just shup and deal, Linda!

We have 25 tables in the pit this time around. The world of poker was hopping and skipping at Bellagio last night. Yet the night was bizarre from the working standard. I dealt four tables in the main room and spent the rest of the night in the pit area and on break. Literally…break. Deal two tables, take a break, deal two tables, take a break, deal one table, take a break, dealt the final two tables of the tournament and the contestants went to ten, my game was broken to fill the main tournament table. It was 2:05 a.m. and I went home.

I hate those nights. The shift takes forever and there’s literally nothing to do other than hit Mangia (the Help’s Hall) or hang out in the noise.

The upside is that Bob S. from Milwaukee came into town yesterday and we got to spend one of my breaks visiting over coffee/water in the Sport’s Book. He’s a reader here, plays for a living, and easy to visit with. He was playing in the $2-5 blind NLH when I came in. He told me he’d met Mama-mia-Mary and related a story of playing with her. Mary is one of my favorites and the subject of a post back in September. Small world…especially poker. They both knew me and now they know each other.

I heard a rumor from Bill L. while I was dealing $8-16 Holdem in the main room. He said the 25 tables would stay in the pit, the room would be closed for renovation, ten new tables would be added to the room, etc. This is all going to happen at the end of our Tournament. The norm is that players know what is going to happen before the dealers do. He brought up the question: Would Bellagio put the Shuffle Masters in all the tables?

My reply was, “How the hell would I know? I didn’t even know we were going to be closing the room.” We all laughed over that one.

It may or may not be true but it makes sense. Everyone is gearing for the opening of Wynn Las Vegas…apparently so are we.

It would be so sweet to have the Shuffle Masters, new tables that are sized for holdem instead of running holdem at an eight handed stud table, and…God forbid that my thinking it would queer the event…that we might end up with those little push button thingies that we originally started out to have for ‘open seat’, ‘cocktails’, ‘fills’, etc., back five years ago. That would be so SWEET!

*****

I spent the morning in the dentist’s chair, two fillings replaced, woke up with a semi tooth ache around 11:00ish, can’t bite down because one of the fillings is too high so…guess where I’m going tomorrow! But after that…snoozy time and poker, poker, poker. And that’s where I’m headed now…c u there!