Back in the box. It’s always an experience, sometimes akin to a soap opera, sometimes stress filled and tense with the desperation of players that can’t handle their emotions, sometimes drab and boring with the repetitive whine of those that JUST CAN FIGURE IT OUT, and sometimes hysterically funny!

Bill L. had me and at least half of the table in stitches in an $8-$16 Holdem game. The other half of the table had to be on medication to sit stone faced through this comedy…they did.

It started about half way through my down when Bill, 2s, took off on an internet/spam thing. He said he couldn’t believe all the spam offering free money. That started it. *giggles and twitters*

He continued with, “They’re even telling me they can’t believe I haven’t picked up my free money yet.”

I jumped in with, “I keep getting emails asking me if I want a bigger penis.” *outrageous laughter here*

“I respond by asking what it’s attached to.” The 5s was laughing so hard, he almost fell off of his chair.

Bill just took off from there. “I did get the penis enlargement. I have it. Ok, now what do I do with it?” *choking, side splitting, gut busting laughs*

Miscellaneous interjections and comments from the ‘laughing side of the table’.

Bill continued, “Then I got all kinds of young girls interested in me. I get emails telling me they want to date me.” *non-stop laughs, the 5s was holding his sides and turning red from lack of oxygen as he spit out every laugh he could find in his body*

The 3s jumped in with, “Bumdate.com.”

The 5s looked at the ‘dead side’ of the table and made the comment there had to be something wrong with them if they couldn’t laugh over this…I agree. I was laughing so hard I could barely deal.

Bill never slowed down. “I’ve got it all, free money, penis enlargement, young girls wanting to date me, and I don’t know what to do with it…I just sit home alone.”

The laughter and statements slowed down from there.

The action in the game was totally insane and never slowed down. The 9s got A-A cracked by J-9 (10-s) in a 3-way, max raised pot and on the next hand, two cards sailed past my nose pitched by the 9s. I had to give the “Hey, hey…set your cards down!” to her.

*****
A first…for me anyway. I dealt a $15-$30 Holdem game, all men except the 5s, Allison. She’s young, thin, nice body, good looking, knows it and was being quizzed by a few of the guys about what she did for a living, what she wanted to do, etc.

During a hand, she stood up and did an exaggerated stretch thing, like ‘hey look at me’. Her hip hugger jeans showed a lot of abdomen and lean hip. She literally pulled the front of the jeans out and stuck her free hand down into the crotch area of the pants, did a few seconds of adjusting and settling, and then strolled away from the table.

The guys played on. One of them made a comment about her and I jumped in with, “I’ve never witnessed a woman do what she just did.”

They all wanted to know WHAT?????

I told them, they couldn’t believe they all missed it and demanded that if she did it again, I point it out to them so they could watch. When she returned, one of the players ratted me out and told her ‘the dealer’ saw her do something. Her expression was startled and questioning as she looked at me. I kept dealing.

The player stood up and aped my version of it. Relief spread over her face and she said something like, “Oh…well sometimes you just have to adjust things…” and continued with the explanation that it might not be proper but after all, it’s a poker room. Umnnnhhh!