All kinds of things coming up on the horizon…my little girlfriend, Kayanna, is arriving on Friday.  I will be at the airport anxiously awaiting her sweet, little girl face to appear from the deboarding gate and the spark in her eyes when she sees me and exclaims, “Grandma!” 
 
We get to go SHOPPING for little girl things and our annual camping trip to Idaho for the Family Reunion.  I will, once again, be refreshed by the child’s view of life and the simplicity in which they perceive everything.  It’s like being in a chilled vacuum for an eon of time and one day you submerge into a beautiful pool of thoughts, emotions, sights, and sounds that rejuvenate your soul.  They just love you…without any barriers.  Ahhhh, a month of bliss.
 
Before I fall into the sweetness of sublime existence, there are still poker games leaping and hopping  through my thoughts.
 
My second game was $30-$60 Holdem, a couple of locals but mostly new faces.  The 6s (an occasional player) wasn’t happy.  His attitude didn’t improve during my down.  At one point, he was in the big blind and called down to the River, he flipped his cards in and they lit on my arm.  I turned them over when I moved my arm.  He did an indignant, “Why did you turn my cards over?”
 
“I moved my arm.”
 
“You turned my cards over.”
 
The hand was over, the pot was pushed, and I set two cards back on my arm and went through the routine.  “They were on my arm, I moved my arm and they turned up.”
 
“Don’t turn my cards over!”
 
“Don’t put your cards on my body and they won’t be turned over.”
 
He semi-settled down but played through a few more hands and kept shooting his cards into the rack.  If my hands had been on the table, he would’ve nailed me.  The third time he did it, I bluntly said, “Just set your cards down here,” as I indicated a spot a few inches from his fingers. 
 
He stopped being a total idiot after that.  When the Blind came to him again, he took a walk.  It was a horrible game.  Very little action and I can’t say as I blame him for not wanting to get stuck in it.  You’d almost need a mask and a gun to get your money back from those guys.
 
*****
 
I dealt two of the NLH $2-$5 Blind games.  For the most part, those games are wild as hell.  It’s a bunch of kids playing shoot out and they whoop and holler as they’re doing it…that includes drinking and doing ‘shooters’. 
 
I ended up laughing through most of the first one…one of the players couldn’t quit saying “fuck”.  I cautioned him on it several times and finally had him and the table laughing but the word is so ingrained in his thoughts that it kept popping out. 
 
I even told him at one point that he “appeared to be cleancut, good looking, intelligent, and have a good command of the English language.”
 
He roared and told me that looks were really deceiving.  When I left the game, he said, “Have a good fucking night, girl!”
 
I smacked him on the back and replied, “I learned to swear after I started dealing poker.”
 
They all liked that one.
 
A few hours later, when I dealt the 2nd one, the kid that used Fuck as a second language, was still in the same seat.  That game was back to back with the one I was in.  Both tables were kibitzing and laughing back and forth.   I got an over exaggerated, “Fuck!”  from the same kid at the other table. 
 
I exclaimed, “Hey Potty Mouth!”  That was a hooter for both tables.
 
If I thought the previous game was a riot, this one was madcap insanity caused mainly by the 1s.  He was shit talking his girl friend for her attitude when he looked at another woman and she walked up on the rail.  She was gorgeous, even by Vegas standards and its world of “plastic magic”.  He thought she heard him…she didn’t…but he almost threw himself on the table with, “Busted!” 
 
He jumped up to talk to her, he wanted to keep hopping over the rail so he could smoke a cigarette, he wanted to hop over the rail to talk to her, in general he was like a young bull and wanted to hop the fence for any reason.  He was also funny, animated, attractive, and very likeable.
 
I caught her eye and asked her to come in and join us.  He went with it, “Come on, Honey.  Come in here.”
 
She hung back, behind the edge of the drape, and he started, “Come on guys, help me with this…”  They all hooted and cheered for her to come in.  He continued, “I may propose if I win the next pot…” 
 
No one was quiet or orderly.  The game was mass conufsion and I will admit that I was right there with them.
 
The girlfriend finally came in and sat behind him for a few minutes.  He kept pestering, “Can I just lean over the rail to smoke.”
 
“Hell no!  Then you’d come back and blow your smoke in my face.”
 
“No, I’d exhale out there before I sat back down.” 
 
Lots of laughter.
 
I told him the Rail Jumping Police would catch him if he bailed over the rail again.  He asked me if I thought he should ask the Floor Person if he could just lean over the rail and smoke. 
 
I almost died laughing.  I said, “Sure, go ahead.”
 
He asked, “He’d tell me hell no, wouldn’t he?”
 
I said, “You guessed it, but go ahead and try if you want.”
 
It was my last down.  While I love their insanity, I love to leave it behind…which is just what I did.   Hello Time Clock!