Sometimes I have more fun at work than the law allows, this is one of those cases. Bill L. plays mostly $8-$16 Holdem at Bellagio, although he’s been around for quite some time. I believe I posted about him a few years ago because I dealt him seven Aces in four hands…yup…that would mean he had pocket Aces three hands back to back and picked up a lone Ace in the fourth hand. He’s usually talking, win or lose, and while he may sound like he’s ‘grouching’ at times, he’s really quite funny and entertaining.

I skipped into an $8-$16 Holdem game that was all guys and most of them were drinking and gambling. The 1s was a very healthy, good looking bundle of noise about the same age as my kids. His friends were playing at the next table and they had all come to town…to do what? Party is my guess.

Bill was in the 7s and jumping in and out of the conversation. He said he was stuck. I asked, “How many lap dances?”

Yes, that’s always how he jokingly calculates the amount he’s stuck, in lap dances.

He blurted out a figure like 12 or 15 or something like that and the 1s went nutz-z-z-z with it. He gave up the info that he was a lawyer, his father was a lawyer, they were going to open a strip joint. No, I don’t know where. He was loud and everyone was laughing like they’d been served laughing gas instead of cocktails…I was laughing too. Someone he knew would handle all the action, licenses, etc.

The conversation sped off to the Pink Lollipop (or something like that name) in Florida. Other guys at the table knew about it. They went into a run about the Strippers at that joint and how much money they made. Then they jumped into how much the house gets from each lap dance, if they had a private dance, etc. Some arguing there because a few of the boys felt they were the experts on the subject.

I said, “Why not ask Bill?”

Their attention momentarily shifted to Bill and he said, “It’s really hard to get those fifty cent pieces to stay in their G-strings.”

Hysterical!

The 1s barely took time to suck air during my down…he was so busy talking and laughing. Once during my deal, he started talking about the possibilities on the board when there was a lot of action. I shushed him. He informed me that anyone playing at the table could see what was on the board.

I did a, “Listen, when you run the girls, you tell them what to do. But when you’re in my game, you do what I tell you.”

He roared. He told me his mother’s name was Linda.

When I hit the next table, three of his friends were in the game and they were chiding him that nothing was sacred and he couldn’t keep his mouth shut…”You even told her your mother’s name, GAWD!”

Just think of the havoc they could wreak in this town…mothers hide your daughters.