I’m baffled by people that WORK in the poker room, that would include employees of the casino and the people that play there for a living, and all of the idiot things they do to make the game worse and run people out of games.

There are so many idiot things that my granddaughters would graduate from highschool before I could get them all listed here but one in particular that I find to be totally obnoxious, idiotic, brain dead, nonthinking stupidty just showed up again last night. I’ve seen dealers do it when I’m playing, but never a Floor Person.

The idiot thing I’m cussing about? A new player enters a game, $4-$8 is a perfect example, and pulls out five $100 bills and pushes them out to the dealer. The dealer takes one and pushes the rest of them back to the player and sells only the $100…the new player isn’t even sure he’s supposed to have that much on the table so he pockets the other bills and plays with the $100 in chips.

Why not just call for Player’s Chips and tell the player someone will be by in a minute to get his chips and would he like to be dealt in while he waits? Too easy, it would make the game too good having all those damn extra chips on the table. If I ran a poker room and I saw a dealer do that, I’d fire them on the spot.

The idiot crime committed by a Floor Person? Kim M., has been a dealer with us for years, recently became Floor Person in charge of lower limit game lists. I was dealing a $1-$5 Stud game and she brought me a new player. He pulled out – you guessed it – Five $100 bills while she stood there.

I asked if she would get him chips. She looked at him like he’d just teleported himself in from Mars, spread the bills and said, “You don’t need this much money for this game!”

She was standing by me and I seriously thought about jumping up and karate chopping her in the throat and getting the chips myself, but I had a game to deal. Instead, I looked at her and firmly said, “Kim, just bring him his chips.”

She did. Aghhhh! She brought him two racks of blue chips and three stacks of $5 chips. He looked like he was completely puzzled by the mess and had a, “What the hell am I going to do with all this?” expression.

I asked him if he’d like to trade one of the racks in for more red. He said, “Yes.”

I got her to do that before she walked away. He gamble, gamble, gambled, never won a hand while I dealt even though he made some pretty big hands. Just think if he’d only bought a $100, he might have given up and left because the Floor Person told him he didn’t need more than that.

He even complimented me on how nice I was…so was he and I hope he recouped and won a few pots but not only that, I hope he enjoyed the time he spent at the table.

*****

The night seemed to last three weeks. I never looked at my watch until I had been there ten days and it was only 11 p.m. SHIT!

I hopped into a $50-$100 Blind Pot Limit Holdem game towards the end of my shift. They changed it to $100-$200 right after I sat down. Randy – 1s, Bruno – 2s, Mohammed – 4s, Minh – 6s, Patrick – 7s, Name unknown – 8s.

Mohammed was the ignition switch. He put the live $400 on every time it came around and flirted off quite a bit of money in the first part of my down. The pots were never over $4,000 – $5,000 (hey, I couldn’t stand the heat here so I’m not knocking it).

One hand went heads-up between Randy and Mohammed with Randy going all-in. Mohammed turned a small flush and Randy made a bigger one when the River brought the fourth Club. The Button was in front of Patrick and when Randy showed his Flush card, Mohammed did an explosive, “FUCK!” as he slammed the button.

The Button was an obedient little disk and just flew off the table, landing about four feet behind me.

While Minh tried to talk Mohammed into taking a walk, Mohammed did the whole spewing, “Fucking cheating assholes, fuck!” more spewing, more swearing. He had three $100 bills left and wanted to see the next hand before he left in a ‘fit’.

Randy dug into his pocket and brought a $1 bill for me on each pot he won…(No! this isn’t a gripe just a funny part of the tale…), he said, “When I get to the $100’s it will be time for me to leave.”

I replied, “That’s the part that would keep me dealing.”

Well…maybe you’d have to be there.