Fright Night! Ghoulie..schmoolie, scary…wary. The ghosts and goblins of Halloween have no idea…I was on my way to work where it can really be frightening…ha, hah, hah-hah! Just kidding!

I’ve written about Joe R. more than once and a few nights ago, when he was playing in a $40-$80 7 Stud game, he looked at me and smiled, “Your night’s coming up here soon.”

I laughed, “Yeah, and I’m going to be looking for you. What time do you want me to come over?”

“No…no-o-o,” he waved me off…but kept laughing.

Years ago, at the Mirage, he always used to tease me about being a witch. More than once he picked up the Porter’s short handled broom and sat it on the chair behind me or leaned it up against my seat. I always laughed at the gesture…it just meant he liked me. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t even take the time to talk to me, let alone get out of his chair and find a broom for me to fly home on.

Purposely over exaggerated eye shadow and wild, tousled hair, on my part…I hit the door of the poker room looking for him. I wanted to go up and give him a little shoulder rub and ask him what time he wanted to meet me. Damn it! He wasn’t there. Well, no matter, everyone else thought I looked great…what do I know?

The night was as easy as a slice of pie, however, I did something I’ve never done before and probably will never do again, even if the circumstances were the same. Let me paint the picture, you watch the show.

Very few costumed people came into the room, although many of them went by on their way to the nightclub Light.

Table 23 was hosting a ‘screamer’ in the 7s. He appeared to be about 35 or so and everyone in the room knew he was there. He stood up, he sat down, he waved his arms, he did a 30 second ‘arm roll’ each time before he exclaimed, “Raise ’em up!”

He talked, almost nonstop, and he cut everyone off when they started to say something. He also had a hell of a lot of chips and was grandstanding every play and move he made.

Add a giantly ugly, dreadlock wig perched on his head, and picture him tossing the ‘locks’ back over his shoulder and over the top of his head, only to have them fall down again with his motions and noise.

When I hit his game, he looked up and told me I was gorgeous…I laughed and thanked him. A young beauty was seated to his left and he played to her as much as possible while he expounded over his wife that was supposedly a few tables behind me. He did look for her once and couldn’t find her but the beauty on his left said she could see her.

The game was mass rock and roll. Chips were catapulted into each pot with six to seven way action every time. The rest of the table just watched him in action. He gave them all they could handle. One pot he won took me three arms swipes to get it to him…huge…and he threw me a $5 toke and asked if that was good enough. My reply was ‘thank you, yes’ and he told me again that I was gorgeous. He was pretty funny and I had to laugh over most of his antics.

He stood up once and took his ‘hair’ off, threw it on the seat, then picked it back up and put it on. He made the comment that everyone was looking at him and I said, “It’s because the tag of your hair is in the front. That should be in the back.”

Well, it really was, hanging onto his forehead.

He screwed the ‘hair’ around on his head, flipped the ‘locks’ out of his eyes, glared at me and said, “That really pissed me off, so I’m raising.”

I laughed and said, “Well it didn’t piss me off, so go ahead.”

He did…ram…jam…repeat, repeat, repeat. He knew some of the players were irritated with him and he played that to the hilt, pressing as hard as he could and stacking their chips. He then went off on a rant about what an asshole he was, ‘locks’ flipping, chewing on a cigar that looked like it had been used as a pacifier for a week, little pieces of tobacco laying all over the table around him and probably on the players next to him too, the ‘asshole’ rant went on and on. “I’m really an asshole. You have no idea how big an asshole I really am. I could be the world’s biggest asshole…”

I dealt the hand, the cocktail waitress came up to take his order, he was half turned to her and I couldn’t get his attention when the action came to him. I tried “Sir,” that didn’t work, then without thinking about it…it popped right out of my mouth, “It’s $4 to call, Asshole.”

Everyone, including me, went nutzzz. We all roared, even the 7s. He turned around immediately, as soon as I said it…as if that really was his name. He queried, “Did you call me asshole with a friendly tone?”

I could barely keep from spitting I was laughing so hard, “Yes.”

“I thought so. See, you tell the dealers at Bellagio they’re gorgeous, tip them, and they call you an asshole.”

The beauty on his left was busting a gut while she told him that I said it with kindness. It went over quite well and I laughed over it for an hour.
Timing really is everything.

*****
I was part of this project. Sweet!
Howard Lederer’s ‘Secrets of No Limit Holdem’

I started on Table 28. Connie was in the game, along with Ed, and a few new faces. Connie and Ed are very easy to deal to.

Ed just moved here permanently from Seattle. He’s funny! No matter what he says, it comes across as being funny. He talks almost non-stop. He told us about an ex-roommate, the roommate told Ed he was going to kill him, twice in one month, with a straight face…Ed’s version of it had me laughing out loud.

Ed told me that he should be able to make it to December before going broke and having to look for a job…if he plays really well. Come on! He’s only kidding.

Still there are so many new faces at the tables, most of them have no idea what they’re doing but they are here to play. I love it!

When I hit table 30, $8-$16 Holdem, Spoody came up and introduced himself, a reader and email bud. Nice! He had his lovely wife with him and I got to meet her, over the heads of the players, as she put up with Spoody taking the time to say ‘hi’ and introduce himself.

A break and then up to $1,000-$2,000. Phil I. in the 1s, Jennifer in the 2s, Mike M. in the 4s, Minh in the 6s, and Daniel N. in the 7s. When I tapped out Sylvia, Daniel looked up and said, “They’re all throwing things.”

I replied with a smile, “Great! Did I tell you I thrive on this?”

He laughed.

I dealt the first few hands, Jennifer won a pot, threw me a toke, I said, “Thank you.”
She looked off, across the room, as if she was addressing no one in particular, and said, “Anytime…bitch!”

I started laughing. The guys all looked at me as if they thought I would go nut-z-z-z. Then they laughed too. It’s a thing I have with Jennifer. Maybe you’d have to be there.

They jammed, gambled, chips flew, Mike chattered, Steve came over from table 2 and told Mike to clam up…he was joking…but on it went.

About 10 minutes later, Jennifer looked over her shoulder and exclaimed, “Who the fuck’s been eating beans?”

I almost spit, I laughed so hard. The guys in her game told her it might be someone at Table 2. I said, “It isn’t me,” and kept laughing.

Table 2 was a little mass of insanity. $300-$600 Mixed games. A lot of grumbling and mumbling there, ‘scramble the deck’, ‘take the scramble off the deck’, ‘kill the deck’, ‘eat the deck’. Ok! Maybe that wasn’t the exact wording but it was a lot of c-r-a-z-i-n-e-s-s.

Table 3 was a Must Move $80-$160 Holdem running short handed. Sam G. was in the 9s. He had some deal worked out with one of our lower limit players, Scott. The details are unknown and aren’t even necessary. In this particular game, he was pretty quiet, not much going on in any seat as far as noise or chip slamming.

Sam’s portrait is pretty incredible at times. He’s a conundrum. The only thing that’s really standard, set in concrete, in his pattern is that he’s always looking for someone to put him in a game.

A few nights ago, Scott and Sam had ‘the deal’ going. I listened to Sam for at least two hours before I dealt to him. It was a barrage of, “Do you guys play here everyday?” – “You thought you could win with that hand?” – “You should know that nobody can beat me!”

And it goes on and on and on, interjected with some fairly humorous, sarcastically cutting jabs that would wound the person with low self esteem. As it was, he had most of the table in stitches as he took their chips.

He was ‘horsing’ with Raymond. When Raymond won a pot, Sam got a $20 chip, when Sam won a pot, Raymond got one.

Raymond speeds up the game, everyone has to put chips in the pot if they want to participate and with the action he gives, most pots turn into four and five way action, capped off before the Flop.

Once when Raymond won a pot, he threw me $1 and Sam $20…then asked Sam if he had remembered to pay him.

Sam replied, “Yes.”

Raymond went with, “Well I gave the dealer one and couldn’t remember.”

Sam replied, “If you give the dealer one, I guarantee she’ll take it.”

Raymond threw me a $20 chip. I thanked him and Sam jumped in, “Aren’t you going to thank me?”
I said, “Yes, you were the next person I was going to thank.”

He said, “Don’t worry, honey, we can split it up later.”
Cheers and laughs from the table.

The nature of the beast. Happiness when we win and conquer, even sharing and generosity. Pain and agony when we lose, punish everyone around us before we go home and kick the dog.

*****
I was part of this project. Sweet!
Howard Lederer’s ‘Secrets of No Limit Holdem’

Agh! Phoot! Ack! I jumped right into a little group of non-friendlies…well two of them anyway and then the braying dog pack picked up the scent and went with it…all except Tex and Bruce. $40-$80 7 Card Stud. The locals…and a few that don’t live here but come into town often enough to be known as locals…filled the seats.

Joe, 1s, has been playing about six months or more on Swing. I don’t remember him from anyplace before but some of the players know him, possibly from back East.

Phyllis, 2s, a fuel injected grouch. I ran into her in the restroom once and her growl was, “When are you going to deal me a winner?” If this woman won every pot, she’d never be happy. She’s so unbelievable to deal to that if I knew the day I would deal her a pot, I’d take the day off.

I sat down and announced ‘Time Pot’. Dudley, 3s, put out a $10 chip and left the table. The ante is normally $5 but it’s a double ante for Time, $7 is taken from each player and the remainder goes into the middle. The 4s was absent and I took $7 from the stack and tossed an absent button at the chips, spread the new deck, scrambled, and shuffled up and dealt Dudley in.

That’s when the noise started. It went something like this: Joe, “He’s not even here, use your brain, that’s what God gave it to you for.”

“I am using my brain. He didn’t state that he was paying only time, he anteed.”

Phyllis took off, “Why would you deal him in? Common sense would let you know not to deal him in…”

Poor little old me replied, “He anteed. If I don’t deal him in, it’s a misdeal.”

Both of them did a mish-mash jumble, telling me that Dudley had no intention of taking a hand, that I should give him back $3 change, and that if I could think, I would’ve known that’s what he was doing.

Phyllis ended with, “Don’t try to tell HER anything, she knows everything.”

I replied, “Yes, I do! I’ve been dealing for over 20 years and I do my job the way it should be done.”

They both implied I was a retard, possibly they were kneeing each other under the table by now, and they were enjoying nipping at my heels as I ran for the woods.

Dudley returned and asked if he got change, I told him that he didn’t say he was only paying the Time and that he’d been dealt a hand.

The dog pack went into a frenzied rage now, jumping and barking, baiting me.
I lost it. Suzie was at the center podium and I called her over. I explained the situation and she stated that I was totally correct. There was no way that I could know that he was only playing time and if that was the case, he should have told me.

Phyllis jumped in, “But this is a TIME POT! She should know better than to deal him in.”

Suzie continued that there was no way that I would assume he didn’t want a hand unless he told me he didn’t want a hand and that if I didn’t deal him in, it was a misdeal. She was wonderful.

They continued after she walked away, ‘common sense would work here, anyone would know that he wanted to pay only time…’ They were brain dead.

I had a fit. I said, “All a player has to do is say they’re paying time only. What if they anteed and walked over to put something in the garbage and returned? If didn’t deal them in because it’s a Time Pot, then it’s a misdeal. The house rule is that it would be a misdeal.”

Another player told me to drop it. I replied, “Hell no! I’m not dropping it until they do. I’m not going to sit for a half hour and listen to that.”

Now Joe R., in the 5s started with the common sense thing. I just couldn’t believe that these people were smart enough to have handled their money long enough to be playing $40-$80…since they couldn’t figure out that I was DOING MY JOB!

Tex had been on his cell phone during all of this, he won the pot, ended his conversation, and asked, “What’s wrong, Linda? Are you ok?”

I said, “No. I’m getting shit for doing my job.”

Tex replied, “I’m sorry, I was on the phone, what happened?”

Joe R. jumped in with, “Don’t use those bad words.”

I laughed and it all blew over.

The rest of my night was easy. Sometimes the bumps in the road make me realize how good life really is.

*******

I failed to mention that A-Rod, Alex Rodriguez has been in playing lately. Last Friday night, I dealt table 19, and he got a seat at that table just after I left…$15-$30 Holdem. All the noise around the room is that he’s a ‘great guy’.

*******

I jumped into a $30 + 3, single table tournament at Empire when I got home from work. About the 4th hand, I lost my connection. Have no idea what the problem was; all of my other internet connections worked. I called tech and they told me to reboot.

I’m thinking, Damn…I’ll be critically wounded in chip count by the time I get back to the table.

I rebooted, jumped back into the game, had missed about 12 hands, and I won the tournament…Woo-Hoo!!! I love this country.

*****
I was part of this project. Sweet!
Howard Lederer’s ‘Secrets of No Limit Holdem’

Hello noise and confusion. The Friday’s at Five Tournament hosted 100 players and went until late in the night. It’s big, check it out when you’re in town.

One of the $15-$30 Holdem games was like old home week for me. I met a guy named Mike that’s a steady reader here. He was singing because his daughter-in-law was in labor and he would become a grandpa for the first time, and because he met me. 🙂 He was cute. I dealt to him twice and the first time, he motioned to the high limit section and said he didn’t like those guys up there because they were mean to me. We both got a chuckle out of that one…yes, he was kidding!

In this same game, my long time friend, Tom L. was in the 5s. My friend, Frederick M. from the Congo was in the 10s, a woman I met in Aruba was in the 6s, and David, a youngster that’s always a pleasure to have in the game, was in the 9s. The whole table was talkative and fun. David asked, “You mean they let you dealt the final table.”

I exclaimed, “What do you mean, let me?” I slapped my hand down on the table for effect and continued with, “LET ME!”

Everyone laughed. A few minutes later, I looked at David and said, “Well…I had to pay them.”

I told all of them that the word was that UB would need 80 to 100 dealers for next year…if anyone was interested. David said he couldn’t deal like I did and I told him I’d teach him. Hey…I would but I don’t think he gives a damn. They were all fun.

I started in the perfect line up again tonight…no throat grabbing, dying, pain and agony, need to win players.

My last game was a $60-$120 Holdem and it was hysterical. They all goaded and taunted each other into calling or guessing what the other one had…no one had a fit or acted irritated, even when they took a beat. I laughed my butt off.
Jack G. was in the 1s and he started laughing over the whole insanity of this limit that played like a $1-$2 Holdem game.

Three of the players were locals, the rest were tourists, and no one seemed to mind the table talk or coaxing. I never intervened, they were doing such a good job with each other.

The only glitch came on the second to the last hand I dealt. The 2 and 10s ended up heads up with each other and a lot of raising pre-flop, flop, turn had gone on. On the River, the 10s bet $120, the 2s raised to $240, and the 10s only had $60 of the raise.

I gave the 2s back $60 and stated the 10s was all-in. The 2s had Jack high, no pair, and had a fit with me because I didn’t tell him the 10s was all-in. No sense in trying to explain but I gave it a shot, telling the 2s that the 10s wasn’t all-in until the 2s raised. It was like trying to put out a forest fire with a squirt gun. Needless to say, the 10s had the best hand and won the pot.

I got pushed. All in all, it was a game that one would have to write home to mom about, either for more money or to share the play of the game and the love of poker.

TGIF…after two days of work. Love this job!

*****
I was part of this project. Sweet!
Howard Lederer’s ‘Secrets of No Limit Holdem’

Home! Damn I love to walk through the door of my own little piece of heaven, quiet and calm, just as I left it 10 days ago when I headed out the door for Aruba. I arrived late on the night of the 21st.

My computer had a major hemorrhage the day I left town and I was in withdrawal for my baby and all its contents and contacts with the rest of the cyber world. But it would have to wait until business hours on Wednesday…so a few glasses of wine and I hit my bed around 1 a.m. My bed, the differences between the one I slept on in Aruba and mine are like trying to explain the differences between a Rolls Royce and a skate board.

I jumped up early on Wednesday, visited my son and his sweetie, got to see an ultrasound of my next grandchild, YIPPEEE!!!, and hit the computer shop. The long and short of it, they said they fixed it by replacing my sound card and video card. Ugh! Took it home, it still wouldn’t boot up. I seriously thought about drop kicking it through their office window…just a thought.

I replaced the A Drive with one that I had bought a year ago, it booted. I put my video and sound card back in, it booted (my video and sound card was much higher quality than the one they sold me), I started adding each item, network cable, it booted, etc., etc., etc. It took hours though and that takes a toll on my time for writing and answering email and staying in touch with the world that I’ve come to know and love, cyber…

The following day, I returned their sound and video cards and got a refund on them. The bottom line is I paid them $60 to baby sit my computer for 10 days. Whew! Normally I do all my own work but the way this happened, I figured that I would be out of town anyway and they’d have it running for me by the time I got home. Wrong!

Thursday night and Bellagio bound, I wondered if I could stand to punch the time clock one more night. The answer? Yes! I can stand it until I don’t have to do it anymore.

The room was busy. The high limit was in full swing and lots of players that were in Aruba were up in the top section. I missed all of that. Damn, how lucky can a woman get? I dealt the lower and middle limit games, sat down in a Dead Spread and got rerouted right back through the same games I’d just dealt. Sweet!

I was beat! Aruba found me living the daylight hours and now I’m adjusting back to Swing Shift and Dracula Land. I’ll get there.

The first part of the ‘Ultimate Trip Report’.

*****
I was part of this project. Sweet!
Howard Lederer’s ‘Secrets of No Limit Holdem’

10/11 to 10/21…Aruba!

I raced to work tonight to jump on the E/O list, it worked. I was out within two hours and heading for home, a few last minute things to pick up at the store and then on to packing for the Aruba trip. That was somewhere around 10 p.m., it’s now 6 a.m. and I still haven’t packed anything…a few glasses of wine, a few hours of playing poker at Empire, a nap, and now I really have to get serious…that damn plane won’t wait for me.

The room was a screamer, lists of 20 to 30 people long, all the tables running except one which was being held because a high limit game was on the verge of developing, some noise from the Sport’s Book and cheers and yells from people playing poker that were involved in the Sport’s Book noise, bodies everywhere, and even Bobby Baldwin graced the room with his presence tonight. For those of you that aren’t aware of his position, he’s the CEO of Mirage Resorts. I believe he just stopped in to visit with some of the players that were coming in for the high limit game…not to play.

Back around the 22nd of October, with an Ultimate Trip Report. Check back then.

The moon is full, there’s a breeze that whispers my name, running across my flesh, calling me, teasing me, asking me to run with it out over the open the land, the desert, the night…the beginning…life…the taste of the wild, untamed spirit, stamping an impetuous foot, tossing an unruly mane, beckoning…
Oh hell, I know, you’d rather hear about poker.

A $15-$30 Holdem…crazy action. I knew four of the players, the rest are…well they’re from somewhere but who knows where. One hand finds the board coming 2-3-5, although it was raised pre-flop by the 10s, there were still four players on the Flop, and when a 6 came on the Turn, a bet, call, call, raise.

Everyone called the raise. The River was a 4. Then it went check, check, check, check. They all turned up their hands. The 4s held 9-8 of Spades, the 5s held 8-4 Off suit and was the raiser on the Turn…also the button, the 9s held the Q-5 of Hearts and there were two Hearts on the Flop, the 10s held A-A and was the pre-flop raiser.

They all split the pot…of course. As I started to shuffle the deck, I asked the 10s, “What the hell were you doing in there?”

He appeared startled at first and then laughed, “Yeah, what was I doing in there?”

They were ‘gamboling’…some of them were anyway.

*****

Carmen disclosed that she had seen a guy, with a cell phone, appearing to talk to someone, and watching the game on Table 1 which was $2,000-$4,000 Mixed. He was in the low limit area but standing where he could watch the ‘Stars’ in action. High Limit is in a raised area.

Carmen approached and asked him to move away, stating that he wasn’t allowed to stand there and watch. He ignored her. She turned her back on him to make it more apparent that he wasn’t wanted there.

Then she heard ‘click…click’ and turned to see him holding his cell phone up above her head as he snapped pictures of ‘The Stars’. Let’s hear it for technology…no safe zone there.

*****

Everyone’s in the zone…the WPT Zone that is. They are so excited to be playing poker, part of the game, and they really don’t give a damn if the rest of us like it or not…so let’s join them. Let’s get into the play of the game, the fun of meeting in a casino to ply our wits and skill against theirs…let’s play like we’ve never played before because that’s what it’s going to take to overcome this insanity.

Some of the big name, money winning players made their mark and fortune just from the same kind of insanity…when poker was new. There were no books, everyone played for fun, by the seat of their pants, and they had no advanced knowledge of the game. They just came to play…that’s what’s happening now.

My vote: Just enjoy it and go with the flow…who knows how long it will be before there’s another influx?

In the meantime, that breeze is addressing, caressing, begging me to move out of the realm of the 9 to 5, to step into the real issues of time and spirit…catch me if you can…

Who dresses them and how do they get here? Don’t bother answering that one. I dealt two $4-$8 Holdem games tonight in which there were NO locals. I did not know any of the players! They had no idea what was going on, when/how/who, but they wanted to play poker. They’re fun. They just want to play a hand. So color me right in the middle, helping them get the rules and the standard of the game into a format that’s fun and they know they want to come back for more.

Years ago, I learned to play Pan with a bunch of old Railroaders in Missoula, Montana. In those days, you could sit by the Mucker and he would tell you whether or not to play a hand and he would help you play it. None of the other players cared. They wanted new blood in the game as they were a dying breed. I enjoyed playing with them. However, when I came to Las Vegas and faded the crabby wenches at the Sahara and the Plaza, my idea of Pan changed immensely. I can remember a few people in their 30’s coming in to play at the Plaza, trying to learn the game, and some of the ‘born and raised Jewish Queens’ told them that this was not the place to learn…go home and learn. Great idea if you know people that play pan but if you don’t, how do you learn?

My thinking here is that the ‘Jewish Queens’ just cut off their nose to spite their face. Soon all those 60’ish and 70’ish people will die off and there will be no one to take their place…so it is with poker…if all the people that know how to play, end up playing against each other, with no new blood and money coming in, they will end up like the players in Montana, still fighting over the same $100 for the last 20 years. Sad sight!

I’ve read a few posts on the internet about seasoned players being irritated with new players because there’s such an influx that the seasoned players have to wait for a seat…bummer in your summer, buddy. These new players add a whole new twist to the ball game and make it quite interesting. They’re definitely hard to read because they have no idea what they have so how could you? It’s going to make you play your ‘A’ game. It’s going to send you home talking to yourself sometimes. It’s going to make you glad that you have all the knowledge you have to keep yourself out of traps and ahead of the game…so shut up and play…they’re going to.

******

My friend, Jim, is in from Colorado. He’s a jewel, a pal, a bud, a ‘live one’. He was drinking and gambling by the time I came in to work…kept the $30-$60 on Table 4 jumping and hopping through most of my shift. Please…he knows he’s a ‘live one’ so don’t fret about my writing it here and he’s a reader. Love ya, buddy!

******

I dealt a short handed, $20-$40 Omaha 8 or Better with a 1/2 Kill, on Table 6. None other than the piece of garbage, J.C.P., was in the 2s. He won the first few hands I dealt. Bummer for the rest of the boys because if he’d lost them, he would’ve been ramming and jamming and mumbling about ‘saving the blues’.

Joe was in the 1s. He started teasing with me and giving me a little ribbing. I pushed him a pot and he said, “I knew you could pull but I didn’t know you could push.”

As I shuffled the deck, I leaned towards him and said, “There’s a lot of things about me you don’t know.”

He asked me when I was going to show him and I laughed.

A few hands later, Joe flopped top set, Jacks, gave up on the River, after showing me his hand and asked, “What are you trying to do to me?”

He was leaving anyway, had a dinner or show engagement, and he picked up his chips and $100 bills and hit me in the head with the bills, several times like he was slapping my face. I laughed and said, “Good night!”

As Joe walked away, it would’ve been J.C.P.’s blind. J.C.P. grumbled, “If you’re going to laugh and talk, deal me out,” as he started loading his chips into a rack.

Don’t worry, if he’d been loser, he would’ve stayed and gambled from hell to breakfast, but he was winner and looking for an excuse to leave. The fact that I might laugh and enjoy dealing a poker game probably ranks close to the Number 1 thing he hates most in life. The freak can’t stand himself so how could he deal with anyone that likes life? Moot question…don’t try to answer.

The rest of my night was a slice of pie. Lots of new players in the $4-$8 Holdem games and action, action, action. Hello to the WPT…everyone wants to play.