By the time I hit the end of my shift, the United States had shifted into Independence Day, the 4th of July. Love this country!

But back to poker. I’ve had a Sam G. post racing through my head and it’s starting to trickle out my nose and threaten to blow out my ears if I don’t write it.

This guy cannot be described. You would have to see it for yourself. He’s a railbird. But also a playing railbird…not just a low limit, run of the mill, average railbird playing railbird but probably the King of Railbirds.

Sam sweats high limit players when he’s broke and out of action. When he’s in action, he plays high limit. His mouth knows no bounds, whether he’s looking for a stake horse, busted down and bottomed out cold, or sitting with stacks of chips in front of him…he’s still mouthy, arrogant, and acts like the world should be thrilled that Sam stopped by.

A few months ago, he was playing $300-$600 7 Card Stud, a zillion chips in front of him, a man and woman sitting behind him, (just take a wild guess who they were…no, not his long lost family or friends…guess again), a long stemmed wine glass in one hand, a swagger in his voice, as he taunted and irritated his opponents at the table, he dripped honey all over his Sweaters. I was dealing and seriously afraid some of that honey might ooze across the floor and get on me. Yikes!!!

The following night, I dealt to him again, looked like the same wine glass and the same scenario with the chips stacks. The ‘Sam Swagger’ was on and he was in the rarest form I’ve witnessed in a long time. He commented several times with something like this, “Now why is everyone so bitchy and hard to get along with?”

He really didn’t want or expect an answer. He was implying that he was calm and magnanimous and everyone else was hard to get along with…you know, the reverse psychology thing.

The only thing different tonight was that he had only the female sweater from the night before.

Food was delivered from one of the eateries. Sam’s honey dripped and slid all over his end of the table as he turned to his Sweater, “Did you get everything you wanted to eat? Is that what you ordered?”

Next to his zillion stacks of Black chips, sat a lonely little stack with some Blues, Reds, and Greens. His sweater reached over and took a few chips off the lonely stack.

He grabbed his Sweater’s hand and growled, “Don’t you ever touch my chips!”

She said all she wanted was a few chips to give to the food server. She waited a few minutes and then admonished him in a very low, threatening voice, “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again.”

Sarcasm ripped like acid through all that honey he’d just laid. He asked, “Isn’t 17% enough for you?”

I never saw his Sweater after that…maybe she couldn’t handle her ‘horse’.

But on to the present. Sam moved past a $15-$30 Holdem game I was dealing and kept eyeballing a little Asian cutie that plays in our room from time to time. The game was shorthanded and after trying to strike up a conversation with her a couple of times, he finally sat down next to her. I called out, “Player in.”

I got the ‘ok’, and Sam pulled out two Black chips for his buy-in. He posted, lost a few hands and ended up all-in and lost that pot too. He pulled out three $20 bills and pushed them to me. I sold him the chips, it was his Small Blind and he didn’t pull out any other cash or chips so as I shuffled the hand, I told him he needed at least $75 to buy into the game.

He gave me his ‘you’re a total idiot look’ and with extreme exaggeration, he asked, “What-t-t-t?”

I explained that he would be allowed only one short buy-in and that it had to be half the minimum buy-in. Another player questioned me on it but it is the house rule. Sam knows it. He said, “Deal me out!”

He left his chips on the table and took a walk. The game broke up. Obviously, Sam is back in the business of being a Railbird.

Tonight when Jeremy T. walked into the room, (which by the way, he had to speak with Doug to get back into the room and was told he had to be on his best behavior if he expected to play at Bellagio), Sam was right up next to him, best of buds, long lost friends, pals ’til the end, and when Jeremy was in a game, Sam was there cuddled up, sweating him.

You really would have to see this show to appreciate it. Academy awards should be awarded in poker rooms.

*****
I was part of this project. Sweet!
Howard Lederer’s ‘Secrets of No Limit Holdem’