Jarrod – usually plays $4-$8 Holdem, occasionally ventures into $8-$16 and, once in a blue moon, into $15-$30 where he buys the minimum chips to get into the game. He’s smart, young, too crafty, average looking, egotistical as hell, always trying to pull a shot and definitely always OUT OF LINE.

He likes to sit next to someone that he can ‘table talk’ with, show each other their hands, and whisper a lot during the hand. He folds out of turn, makes comments about what the other player has or doesn’t have or what the best possible hand is and a few million other things that are totally undesirable in a casino poker game.

One night I listened to him and a player named Brian, laugh and joke about how great it was that they rattled the dealer before me. They tried flashing their cards to each other and when they folded, I turned their cards up for the table to see.

I told them they couldn’t have a discussion during the hand when one of them had cards. They had the ‘little kid trying to get the teacher’s attention so the other kid could steal the apple on the desk’ look.

When I got pushed, I went to my supervisor and reported them.

She stood over the game for awhile and they settled down. They know better. Jarrod especially knows better.

Every time I deal to Jarrod he is out of line. I try to make it sound like a little bit of banter along with enforcing the house rule when I lean on him. I know he’s going to play and we want the play, he just needs to figure out that his behavior is unacceptable.

I dealt to him in two different games. The first one, he was sitting next to Matt, another youngster that’s a newbie to Holdem. Jarrod kept talking to him while Matt was in a hand. I told Jarrod to absolutely BE QUIET and close his mouth. He said I could be his babysitter for the way I behaved when I dealt to him.

I said, “Not really. If I was, I would’ve drowned you or hung you long ago and you wouldn’t be here now.”

He thought that was funny and told me I could burn in hell for even thinking such a thing.

I quipped, “Think so?”

He even asked me if I thought he was telling Matt how to play. My thought ‘well, if you are, you’re doing a shitty job because he’s lost every pot.’ but I said, “No conversation during the hand when one of you has cards. That’s house rule.”

A few hours later, I got him in another $4-$8 Holdem game. He folded completely out of turn and the player behind him ‘auto folded’.

I said, “Come on. You folded a week ahead of time.”

“A week?”

“At least a week. You caused the player behind you to act also. Come on, you know better!”

His reply, “I know what’s wrong with you…you’re in love.”

You could’ve knocked me out of my chair with a whisper. I was absolutely flabbergasted that he would even come up with that one. Of course he meant with him. He’s got an ego bigger than the Universe.

I started chuckling, “Maybe, but not with you.”

He just stared at me like he knew something I didn’t.

I followed it up with, “I find you to be mildly amusing, that’s about the best you’ll get.”

He sorted of stumbled around ‘mildly amusing’ through the next hand I dealt. I got pushed a few hands later but I was still chuckling at the end of my night…have to thank him for that.

******

Nathaniel, Cathy watched me finish a hand of $75-$150 Omaha 8 or Better, and then said “Hi!” I’ve dealt to Cathy before and did deal to her again later in a $20-$40 Omaha Better. Nice touch and thank you!

Oh…to those of you reading and wondering what that’s all about. It was a proxy ‘hello’ from a friend, reader, and poker player.