You would think that since Bellagio’s Tournament is over, the room would slow down a little. Not even close. It’s impossible to even spread enough games and have enough dealers to handle everyone that walks through the door. Our 30 table room was running to full capacity on Saturday night, with game lists so long, players were hanging off the drapes and ceilings, trying to spot an empty seat before the dealer called one and the brush filled it. Ok…that’s a slight exaggeration on the drapes and ceiling thing but it was totally insane, body heat, steam, people, noise, the dueling microphones, the sort of scurry and hurry you’d expect to see inside an anthill.

Some of the funniest things are said and done at the table. A friend of mine, Bernie, from Europe, comes in every year for the WSOP. He’s arrogant, cocky, funny, and has his own view of himself and the world. He’s, of course, No. 1 in the world rankings of Who’s Who and the most important person in the world, scored and tallied by himself and he’s the judge.

I first met him through my friend, Christoph, also from Europe. I take them out target shooting when they come in, if their and my permits. They pay for everything, including the gas, and we end up laughing our butts off during the trip, the experience, and afterwards.

Bernie always asks me about my daughter, even tho I don’t have one. I do have several daughter-in-laws. He met Stacy, mother of my little girlfriend, Kayanna, youngest of my granddaughters. Stacy is a sultry beauty and he always inquires through email and when he’s here, ‘how she is, what’s she doing’, etc. I don’t blame him, if I were a guy, I would too.

Now that the ground work is laid for the story, he appears on Thursday night, just got into town the day before, jumps into a $30-$60 Holdem game that I happen to be dealing. We exchange, “Hello, how are you,” and all the stuff you do when friends arrive. I push him a pot, he throws me a $10 chip and says, “Give me back $9.50.”

Yes, he’s joking, sometimes he wants me to give him $9.99. I make the change, keep $1, and state, “Thank you! Sorry, no other change in the rack.”

He emphatically says, “Ok. You owe me a shooting.”

I cracked up.

On Saturday night, he’s in the 8s in a $40-$80 7 Card Stud game when I sit down. We do the ‘hi’ thing. He asked me if I’m still married. I said, “No.”

He pursues it, “Why not?”

“I haven’t met anyone I want to marry.” Trying to move the conversation away from myself, I countered with, “What about you?”

He quickly replied, “Well, you never called me. You send me emails but you don’t call.”

Hysterical. I was trying to ask him if he was married and he threw me a curve ball. I started laughing again. Thankfully I got pushed shortly after that.

*******

During the hectic screaming noise of the poker room, while I was trapped in high limit and dealing a lot of Pot Limit Omaha game, somewhere…out in the nether regions surrounding the poker room, someone intermittently screamed, “WOOF, WOOF!”

It seemed to happen right in the middle of intense action and was very disrupting. The first time it was sort of funny, brought a slight titter to the room. The second time it was wearing thin and a few players grumbled. The third time it happened, everyone was up in arms with, “Get them out of here! Throw them out! Who the hell is doing that?”

I asked Carmen about it when I was out on break. It was a player in the $30-$60 Holdem that was doing it when he went out to smoke, tourist, just having fun. She talked to him about it each time, asking him to cease and desist. The final time, number 3, she said to him, “If you do it again, make sure it’s on your way out the door because if it isn’t, Security will be walking you out!”

*******

While dealing a $30-$60 Holdem game, the 10s was Asian and filled with gamble, gamble, gamble. He was the Big Blind and called a raise with 8-2. Deuce on the flop, bet, raise, call, blank on the turn, check, bet, call. Deuce on the river, bet and got called. He was jamming and ramming with any two cards, when I first sat down, and winning every hand he took to the river. Several players mentioned ‘California action and play’.

The 10s jumped right into the conversation, agreeing that he was from CA and he could play, play, play. He was pretty bubbly and excited, started talking about the action there and how you had to know how to play in that type of game.

The 6s was quiet, a young man, that appeared to watch everything that was going on at the table, and the 10s caught his watchful gaze. The 10s directed his conversation to the 6s, “You come to California, I’ll teach you how to play in those games.”

The 6s dryly replied, “Well, let me know when you’re going to do something really spectacular and I’ll pay close attention.”

I exploded with laughter. It’s better than a front row seat in a comedy show.