Wow! A giant Fuji. Yes, that’s an apple…crisply tantalizing, deliciously flavored, exploding into waves of moist bites that send rapturous pleasure across your taste buds and yahoo sensations to your brain.

Haven’t been there? Never experienced an eating orgasm? Maybe you’re buried in the Poker Grave Yard. That’s where players end up when their body still carries out normal functions but their brain doesn’t know they’re dead yet. Well, you’ll have to decide where you’re at with it, so in the meantime, try taking a bite out of one…if there aren’t any Fugis available, try a Gala.

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“The game of the future.” Every dealer, in the entire world, has heard that statement for years. Omaha 8 or Better, that’s what they’re talking about. It may be the game of the future but in 15 years not much has changed. Maybe no one told the rest of the poker playing population. Or maybe after hearing the continual squabbling and bickering coming from the Omaha game, they don’t want to join THAT game.

The line-up is always the same. The Pros gather and try to find a fishy. But if a fishy gets in the game, the Pros continue to squabble and moan so the fishy has to have the makings of a Pro to be able to stand the noise and confustication or he’ll be gone in a few hours and the Pros will, once again, be trying to find some meat in the gristle they try to chew from each other’s bones.

The line-up is one of the scariest in the world if you’re a little fishy. There are day players and night players, they work a regular shift. If the day players are there at night, they are S-T-U-C-K…not necessarily gambling…but stuck.

They behave like a big, unhappy family most of the time. Why wouldn’t they? They meet every day, try to beat each other out of a few bucks, and haggle and discuss everything while they share a common denominator – Omaha 8 or Better.

The family: Jeff sits with his clear, plastic box, with numerous compartments, filled with daily, prescription pills in front of him. He’s been around since the early Mirage days and before that, all over in Vegas. He’s always eyeing the chicks that stroll by outside the poker room and tries to snag one if they look in his direction. He brags about his girls, the ones that every one says he has to pay if he wants companionship, and talks about his next meal, who’s going to go for the food, who’s going to buy, and who wants to share a part of the meal. He swears he’s been on a losing streak for at least a year and most of the dealer’s are relieved he’s not winning because he’s what’s classed as a ‘stiff’.

Jimmy, he’s been there since the Mirage days also. He considers himself to be the table captain, the reason the game starts every day, and the reason the game moved from the Mirage to Bellagio…although he never knows where the action is, how many players are in the hand, or ‘what happened’ so a dealer has to have a lot of patience and a deaf right ear because he always sits in the 10 seat and is never quiet.

A. A. or Double A as he’s referred to, is a sweet, kind, gentle person that likes to play and is never abusive to anyone. He’s put up with ribbing from Jeff and other players about how bad he plays and a variety of other comments – for years. He rarely gets involved in the table conversation but when he does, it’s worth listening to.

Jay is a riot. He’s nonstop chatter boxing all the time and it’s usually always directed at Jeff and how poorly Jeff plays any hand from any position. Jeff and Jay have a little love/hate thing going on. When Jay starts in on Jeff, Jeff usually flushes and blurts out with a statement that comes strictly from defense and not from thinking. It’s a comedy…Jay thrusts and parries blow after blow and Jeff reacts like a dancing bear that ate fermented berries. Jay likes to play too, he puts chips in the pot and never flinches or behaves poorly when he’s not winning.

Don goes with one of our dealers and his volume control seems to be stuck on high most of the time but he’s very stable in starting a game and keeping it running. He’s had his wars with Jeff also. That appears to be resolved and history now. Don likes to play Mixed Games but plays Omaha 8 or Better when the Mixed aren’t running.

Bobby also goes with one of our dealers. There are posts about him in the ‘Dear Diary’ and his reply to the posts in the ‘discussion page’. Lots of players have learned to control their attitude and table manners and he appears to be on the upside of good behavior now. He’s been around since the Mirage days also although he didn’t start playing with this group until he moved to Bellagio.

Al’s been around since the early Mirage days also. He’s a rammer jammer at times and is very good for the game from a Dealer’s perspective. Not because he’s such a great tipper, although he tips even when he’s buried if you do your job well, but he’s personable, always says, “Hello!”, never dishes out abuse but definitely won’t take any either. He really knows how to give someone the verbal square needle when they start whining or getting out of line.

Jim, new to the group about eight or nine months ago, likes this game and all others. He’s outspoken, right to the point, came to play poker but not to gamble. He’s not good for the game as in action, action, action, but he’s a stabilizing factor and helps balance out the scales. He feels the reason that Omaha 8 or Better players ‘get to know each other’, (that’s a nice way of saying they argue all the time), is because it takes so long to play a hand.

There are several Pauls that play. One in particular played at the Mirage but he played 7 Card Stud 8 or Better long before he learned to play Omaha. He always tries to bring the dealer into his tormented black hell of poker. It’s personal. The dealer did it. Statements like, “You can really do it can’t you? Well here! Just take the rest of my chips and give them to him.” and a few other inanely stupid comments while he’s glaring at you and shuffling his cards back and forth really endear him to your heart while you’re in the box. You know what he’s going to say before he opens his mouth. Ugh!

Kenny has only been there the last few years. He’s quiet and very seldom ever says anything. If he does, it’s usually terse and harsh if he’s stuck and unhappy.

Doug used to play 7 Card Stud at the Mirage and gradually migrated into the Omaha game. He’s always caustic and grumbling if he says anything at all. He’s a day player and has ‘left the building’ by swing shift unless he’s buried. He’s not someone you look forward to seeing in the game when you arrive, as a player or a dealer.

Rada is the only regular female player. She appears to be distant and distracted most of the time unless she has a real hand. She used to be more light hearted and cheerful but poker has a way of wearing you down.

There are others that enter the picture, some that have been around for a long time but don’t play every day, year round. The family, however, is there, rain or shine, weekends and holidays included. They try to change the rules to suit their situation, they bicker with each other, they go into a cold sweat when a seat opens because they’re afraid there’s no one out there willing to take it, they talk about each other like little gossip mongers, they share meals and each other’s lives.If you can get past all the of the to do about nothing that goes on in the game, they’re mildly entertaining and that’s about all you get out of the game as a dealer because they are hanging onto all their chips. In other words, your pocket is pretty close to dry when you walk away from the table. But hey…look at it this way, thank God you’re not trapped in the player’s seat in that game.

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This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.