Sometimes just getting into the poker room is a major ordeal. The first part of the experience is jumping on the freeway and trying to defend yourself from people in a hurry to die and they want to take you with them. Taxi drivers are the worst offenders and really want to make sure the rest of the world goes out with them. When Mother Nature dumps a load of water on Vegas, just multiply all the scary incidents that pop into your head by 5,000.

Once you hit the Strip, you now have to change lanes to escape the vehicles that are parked, in a right turn only lane, watching the Fountains at Bellagio. There are people scurrying between vehicles waiting for a traffic light to change. Instead of using crosswalks and even after the signal light has changed to ‘DON’T WALK’, they still gamble by crossing anyway. They seem to be in a hurry to end their life or spend it maimed.

Once you’ve made it to the employ entrance on the Strip and Harmon, construction for the new Spa and connecting Harmon from East to West, is a myriad nightmare. There’s only one way in and one way out, slow and irritating. A Security Person stands at a small guard house and looks for your employ ID as you enter. They always look like they hate their job and their life and you for making them be there.

Now you look for parking…there are lots of places to park but they are close to 1/2 mile away from the building. You have two choices, park and walk or wait for the employee shuttle. The shuttles arrive almost back to back during regular shifts but during off hours there’s only one and you can wait for 10 minutes sometimes for it to appear. There have been times that a small hand written note is posted at the Shuttle Stop, stating that there will not be a shuttle at certain times. So you’re stuck. Get ready for a walk. Taking a seat in the shuttle is not possible at times, it’s standing room only. You get jostled and bumped by big butts passing by, handbags and back packs, and inconsiderate fellow employees that fail to realize you’re a person instead of part of the shuttle.

Once you arrive at the Employee Entrance, you are now greeted by another Security Person that insists you show ID to enter the building. This done, you now have to walk down ‘heart attack hill’, don’t worry, when you leave the building, you are walking up it. Word has it that if you walk up it five times, you’ve walked a mile so this gives you an idea of the trip.

You pass offices, uniform control where literally thousands of garment bags hang on automated rails from a 20 to 30 foot ceiling, (and one of them is yours), Mangia (the employees dining area), the Dealer’s Room, (where all dealers in the casino can go for a break and it contains your locker…lockers are shared by two people), an employee’s discount store, and a satellite cage, (where all employees can cash out and the bank is picked up and turned in by bartenders and people in the retail stores), plus entrances and exits to the Grand Ballroom, storage, kitchens, spa, bathrooms, and a million other places unknown to God and man.

Once you’ve made it through this, you have the choice of walking up two flights of stairs or taking an escalator to see another Security Person, (watching everyone come and go), and finally an entrance/exit into the casino floor. Think you’re home free? NO WAY!

Now you fight your way through the buffet line which is conveniently located across the employees entrance/exit doors…NOT…and through crowds of people going to “O”, stop to answer Guest’s questions and give directions, and finally…the poker room.

It’s never easy. People always stand in the doorway and traffic aisles to talk. They walk three abreast coming towards you and act like you are supposed to disappear into the carpet or levitate yourself so they can pass unimpeded. Even tho you wear a white shirt and stand out in the pedestrian traffic, you are still invisible and they run right into you. A lot of times they are very overweight which makes your slipping past them impossible. Believe it or not, usually the worst offenders are employees. This is before you’ve ever turned a card or clocked in…you need valium just to get to work…OK! Now put on your best smile, look through your wardrobe for your best attitude shirt, slip it on and get ready to DEAL.

*****
This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.

A bag of double ugly, covered in chopped up mean and nasty is in the 3s when you go in to deal $20-$40 Omaha 8 or Better with a 1/2 kill. He plays the first hand you deal, with four other players and loses it. Immediately the hate and doom, death and destruction, glare begins. He can barely grumble out the words, he’s so angry his voice is quivering. “Ah’ll tell you one thing, Ah’m sure saving a lot of blues.”

It’s such a sick repeat of years of poker dealing to none other than J. C. P., too bad he doesn’t get a new line to go with his never ending whine. He wins a few pots and appears to be more angry because he won than he did when he lost, except, of course he’s not mumbling now.

Once when he walked by a $30-$60 7 Card Stud game, a player in the game invited him to take the open seat. Norman R., another player, emphatically stated, “Don’t ask that bunch of negative karma to join us!”

The only thing that’s frightening about him and his behavior is what if he explodes and some of that negative ugly gets on you? Horrifically scary! Maybe there’s no cure.

~~~~

Something in poker that’s pretty hard to deal with at times is watching a person that you thought had it all together and had some class and then BOOM…

One incident is watching a high limit player dig in their nostril for a full minute and then when they find what they were mining for, they actually look at it before wiping it somewhere. Gag!

Another one is listening to a player that’s arrived at the table, with chocolate covered strawberries, tell everyone at the table that they eat at the buffet every night. When asked if they get a comp every night, their reply is, “No! I just walk in like I already had a seat and take whatever I want.” That’s stealing. No matter how you cut it, it’s demeaning and cheap.

~~~~

The room is slow but the games are still good. It’s funny to have 15 to 16 games running and think of it as being slow, but it is. Not much happening in high limit right now, the kids are either out enjoying their home life or are in L.A. for a tournament. The highest game on top last night was $80-$160 Holdem and it was full.

~~~~

Nothing new on Bruce and Paul returning. We are hoping they do. Suzie L. has been covering some of graveyard in their absence. The hour change and sleep schedule is tough on her, but she’s taking it like a trooper. We all love Suzie!

*****
This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.

Ritchie is one of our regulars in the $8-$16 Holdem game. He’s great to have in the game from a dealer and a player standpoint. If you’re playing in the game with him, he’s consistent with his play…you know he’s got a hand or he wouldn’t be there. He’s not going to show you 5-2 OS at the River after catching runner-runner for a gut shot straight. He’s either got you beat already or you’re drawing wounded and better make a real hand. If you’re dealing to him. Ritchie will never give you heat or the look, even if you make a mistake. He takes the good with the bad and he’s George when he wins a pot. We all like him. This is a little run on a few of his table sessions:

1. This is from last year, taken from the Dear Diary: An $8-$16 Holdem game on table 30 left me shaking my head over 1 hand. Ritchie raised pre-flop with K-K and got 3 callers. The flop was 10-7-4 with 1 Spade. Three players went to war on the flop with all the raises.

A King of Spades popped off on the Turn. Ritchie checked, the 5 seat bet, the 7 seat, which was also the Button called, and Ritchie check raised. Both players called.

The River was a Spade. Ritchie bet, the 5 seat folded, the 7 seat called and Ritchie turned over a set of Kings. The 7 seat turned over 10-4 of Spades. I’m not even sure if the 7 seat knew he had a flush…he just knew he’d flopped 2 pair and thought he was now beat. Huge pot, ugly ending for Ritchie.

2. This is also from last year. Ritchie was on the list for $8-$16 Holdem and a new game of $4-$8 started. He took a seat while waiting to be called for the $8-$16. The very first hand started like a volcanic eruption with everyone picking up a hand and chips spewing out onto the green.

Ritchie picked up, you guessed it, K-K. All the raises went in pre-flop with eight players.

The flop came off all little, rainbow, with an 8 as the highest card. All the raises went in again, with somewhere around five players this time.

A small, unrelated blank card on the turn, all raises again, and an 8 on the river with a bet and one raise, with three players at showdown.

Connie held 8-8. Ritchie showed K-K. Another player stated that he also had K-K but pitched it on turn, the other player at showdown held J-J. Another player stated that he held A-A and gave it up on the River.

The deck had just been spread and players drew for the button, it was the first hand of a new game. The pot was gigantic and Ritchie was shaking his head over K-K as he got called for the $8-$16 game. Later on, he even tells me he’s not going to play K-K as long as I’m dealing. 🙂

Present date: Ritchie’s in the 3 seat, $8-$16 Holdem. This game never started out as a Waltz or a Soft Shoe. Chips exploded into the pot. Cause? The 2s was a young, know it all, egotistical, fuel injected butt head that figured he’d win if he could get in the last raise.

At one point, when the pot had been max raised pre-flop, with five to six player, and max raised on the flop and on the turn, it went to three players with the 6s betting, the 2s raised, the 5s called, the 6s raised, the 2s raised, the 5s folded, the 6s raised, and the 2s looks at me and queries, “How many raises are allowed?”

I state, “One bet and four raises.”

He asks you again, looking right at you, “How many raises allowed? Because she was in…” he gestures at the 5s.

I reply, “One bet, four raises. She folded before the fourth raise was made.”

He still repeats his question, looking at me like I was speaking Greek-n-ese or some strange language.

Again I state, “One bet and four raises.”

He still makes a motion at the 5s and still states that she was in. The other players are now impatient with him and make noises implying that he can call or fold or raise. He finally elects to call.

On the river, he can’t even call a bet. He throws his hand away with a comment that if the Ace of Spades had come off, he would’ve made a straight flush and his opponent would have been suicidal.

I laugh and he has a fit with me because he thinks I’m laughing at him. There’s no explaining it to him so I just tell him that I will laugh if I want to.

He sparks off more chips and buys more and swears as he throws chips in the pot so I have to tell him to watch his language. He’s sitting beside Ritchie and ranting about everything.

The first explosion that involves Ritchie is a pot that’s raised by Ritchie. The 2s and three other players call. The flop is A-J-7. Chips scream into the pot. The turn is a 9. A raising war breaks out between Ritchie and the 2s. A few stragglers are still calling. The river brings a Jack.

Ritchie bets and gets called in two places. He shows pocket 9’s and wins a huge pot.

A few hands later, the chip wars begin in earnest. Seven players take the max raises to see the flop. The flop is 7-6-2 with two Diamonds. All the raises go in on the flop. The turn is an Ace of Clubs. All the raises go in on the turn. The river is a black 3. Ritchie bets the river and gets paid off in two places, one of which is the 2s.

Ritchie turns over pocket 7’s and the 2s shows a black 4 and says, “Straight!” and then throws his other card face down into the muck.

Ritchie wins the pot of the century in an $8-$16. Hey, he should know by now that K-K is never any good when he has it! 🙂

*****
This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.

A lot of dealers are players. The general rule of thumb is that a playing dealer is a better dealer because they know what it’s like to sit on the other side of the table and understand the game and read hands much faster and accurately than a non-playing dealer.

Some poker rooms are non-playing rooms…none of the room employees can play there. Other rooms are playing rooms and there are good reasons for both. The upside is a playing dealer will help fill games when the room is quiet. The downside is a playing dealer may get out of line and end up running players out of the game.

Upon occasion a player has a little tiz when a playing dealer check raises them and/or beats them in a hand. Their thought traces this thread: I tip them when they deal to me. I’m never tipping them again. I’m a customer, why are they trying to beat me. They have a huge advantage over me since they know how everyone plays.

Other players love to see playing dealers in their game. Some of them state that their dream game is nine white shirts and an open seat. Dealers are touted to be the worst players in the world. They see so much ram and jam action, and bad hands and bad play winning the pots, that they believe they are going to sit right down and run over the game. Even back up and run over it again.

A few players that end up busted go to work as dealers. They usually become/are playing dealers just doing temporary time until they get back on their feet and can QUIT!

While it’s true that a lot of playing dealers play poorly, it’s also true that a lot of them are very good players with great people skills and card sense and are attributes to any game.

It’s quite startling to see Attila the Hun seated in a $4-$8 Holdem game in a player’s chair, chips in hand, and a jacket over a white shirt with a name tag peeking out that reads ‘Allegra’. Yes, Attila is a poker dealer named Allegra.

Attila does everything that’s a taboo in poker etiquette and attitude.

· She flashes her hand to players on each side of her, even if they have cards, because she wants them to know she raised with A-K and the Flop was 9-4-2.

· She tells a player – in a multi-way action pot – what she has and ruins every one else’s action.

· She folds an hour before the action gets to her when she’s taken a beat.

· She stomps away with the comment, “I’m taking a walk,” after she tells the dealer, “You’re killing me.”

· She keeps a list of dealers that she will stiff and even tells them that they are on her list. There were five on it a few months ago, who knows how many now?

· When a dealer walks up to her table, that she didn’t win with on her last play, she says, “Stay away. I don’t want to play while you deal.”

· She speaks four or five different languages and talks to players in the game that are involved in the hand, in a foreign language.

· She rolls her eyes and flashes her cards, then folds.

The truly amazing part of it is that she sits in the seat that takes the heat when she’s not on the EO/Play list. She hates to put up with players that have any kind of negative attitude and she’s especially resentful of a ‘stiff’ as she calls them. Her behavior is even worse than that of a bad tempered player because she knows better. When she loses, she always mentions it to the dealer/s that dealt to her, as if trying to make them mourn her losses.

People sometimes ask to transfer to the game she’s in by stating they want to move to Allegra’s game, not the Table Number of the game. Forgot to mention that she plays any two, from any position, for any amount…Woo Hoo!

*****
This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.

There’s some major happenings going on with two of our favorite Graveyard Supervisors, Bruce and Paul. Word out right now is that they are suspended pending investigation. Does not sound good at all and this is not good for poker, the room, them, or any of us. Sadness and long faces are showing here…

~~~~

Bellagio is moving into the future by trying the ‘shuffle master’. It’s already in use in a test phase at The Mirage, or so the word is out. It will be in a test phase at Bellagio also within the next few weeks. They will be placed first on tables 1, 29, and 30, or something in that order to test it in high limit, 7 Card Stud, and Holdem. Whether it will be the ‘in thing’ or not remains to be seen.

One dealer retorted that now the players could throw the cards at the machine when they got beat instead of throwing them at the dealer. My thought is that if the dealer is an idiot and not paying attention, no shuffle master should take the heat for a dealer error. Aw…come on. I’m talking about the TV watching, talk too much in the box, bad attitude type of dealer.

~~~~

For any and all Omaha 8 or Better players, the $20-$40 game now plays with $10 chips, and a 1/2 Kill. It’s a Time Game with a charge of $5 per player, every half hour. The locals are a bunch of wing nuts. They tiz and fret and snort and rag each other until Hell wouldn’t have it. They verbally kick each other into a wild frenzy, stir it all up with a bunch of loco weed, shotgun it, and start over again. Never let it be said that anyone, anywhere in the world can keep up with them when it comes to insults and taunts to each other. Those guys…

There were a few new faces at the table tonight but the locals were trying to run them out. It usually works quite well…they normally end up playing against each other around 2 or 3 a.m.

~~~~

Word right now is that the room will be 28 tables, instead of 30, for the Bellagio Five-Star World Poker Classic. The other two tables, plus 12 more will be set up right outside the room, for a total of 42 tables. We’re getting ready to host an event that we hope will knock your socks off and bring you back for more. C U There!

*****
This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.

The poker community really is unique. If you play poker with someone today, or deal to them tomorrow, sooner or later you’re going to cross paths again. That’s a good reason to always leave a game in a calm, pleasant manner rather than having a fit and storming out when you take a beat. Your past play, attitude, and table presence follows you everywhere. It’s extremely important to never let them see you sweat or bleed…keep them guessing and in awe of your table presence. That’s a free tip for the day. 🙂

~~~~

The sad side of poker came to visit last week. On Thursday evening, the 6th, Peter Nagy had a heart attack in the poker room. He crossed Death’s Threshold that night and will be missed by many of us.

~~~~

On the humorous side of poker, you have to love Doyle B. He called Carmen over to pick up his chips and put them on account. He had a few chips short of a full rack of $5,000 chips. The other players teased him with, “Do you always win?…Don’t you ever play until you lose?”

He chuckled and said he did pretty well in Mississippi…followed with, “Speaking of sharing. If I had to share a good looking woman with someone else, I’d get the half that eats!”

He’s a grand man in the grand game of poker! And if he would ever share even 10 years of his poker stories and games with us, we’d be armed with tales worth telling.

~~~~

It’s gloomy and rainy in Vegas…swollen rivers race along the strip and force pedestrians to take cover away from the curb…they’d either drown in the tidal waves created by passing motorists or need a change of clothing and blow dryer.

There are too many accidents to mention (someone said they’d heard that number was close to 200 by 6 p.m. tonight) and when swing shift was leaving the building, the report was that Highway 15 and 95 North were snarled and jammed because of more accidents. Rain here creates very treacherous driving conditions, exercise caution and slow down…maybe you’ll save the life of a poker player/dealer. Thanks in advance.

~~~~

There’s a certain type of player that always fine tunes my ‘irritation meter’ and sends it skyrocketing over the top. He plays the low limit games at Bellagio. His name’s R. W. and he’s a ‘good old boy’ from down South. He really doesn’t mean any harm, he’s just trying to mold the game to suit him. You’ll see him in a lot of players though, they just have different names and shapes and play different limits.

His routine goes like this. Two games running of the same limit, his game has six players, yours has five. You happen to like short handed games and just got this one where you want it when R. W. yells at the players in your game, “Hey, why don’t you guys draw and come over here? No sense in playing short.”

His braying is like the jackal that’s found the scent of a wounded animal. Within a few minutes he does it again and soon another player in his game picks up on it and makes the same braying noise.

No one at your table even knew it was short handed until he started the wheels in motion and now they want to draw. You just give up and go home because he broke up your game and you really don’t want to draw and be shut out of a seat and you really don’t want to play in a game with him.

He also likes to bet when he knows he’s got you but when he thinks you might have the best hand or he’s on a draw, he looks at you and queries, “Just you and me in the hand?”…he gently pats the table like he’s sincerely interested in your welfare…”I’ll check to you.” He’s stroking you while he’s trying to beat you.

Another move he likes to make on a newcomer, that’s sitting by him in the game, that’s new to ‘chopping’ and doesn’t understand what it means, gets it explained to him like this. “Well if it comes down to you and me in the blinds, we just chop. We don’t want the house to get any more money from us. It’s a gentlemen’s agreement between the two of us, we just take our money back.”

He pulled a classic tonight. He left his $4-$8 Holdem game to visit another $4-$8 game and inform a ‘live one’ that a seat was open in his game and the ‘live one’ could just come over and join them now. With that said, R. W. ambled back to his game.

Lobbying is a huge taboo in poker. It’s tacky to try to take a player out of one game and get them into another one but that’s the way R. W. is. And his play is tighter than Bull’s Butt in fly time too. He could win a Zillion $$$, 25 way action pot and the dealer is guaranteed a 50c tip with an explanation of how poor ‘ol R. W. needs to win when he plays.

R. W. always looks for the best game but he’s never the reason it’s the best game. He can change it from ‘live’ to ‘dead’ in a heartbeat. Irritation meter? FULL TILT!

*****
This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.

I just registered with Empire Poker, under Chanzes of course, you may see me there playing real money and play money when I have time. On days that I’m playing, I’ll post notice in advance here…join me whenever you can. I promise I’ll behave…well…maybe. Also the possibility of a tournament, anyone interested in a poker tournament where we all get to try to beat each other for real money, send me an email. More on the particulars later. Back to the Brick and Mortar World that I live in.

A few weeks ago, a major interruption in the quiet hum of the room took almost 10 minutes to completely subside. It started in $15-$30 Holdem, huge pot with mass action, Andrew in the 5S had the Button, Mike in the 6S, Small Blind, and two other callers on the River, added even more chips to the already gigantic pot. The Board was A-3-4 or A-2-4 of Hearts, blank, blank.

Mike turned up his hand and said, “Straight Flush.” He actually held the 5-6 of Hearts which was a flush but his straight flush had a gaping hole in it.

Andrew threw his cards face down, they slid underneath the flop and almost into the rack.
The dealer sat there, looking around, as if waiting for the Earth to open and swallow all of them or for a profound announcement from God that it was time to proceed.

Recognition hit Andrew like a thunderbolt when he actually looked at Mike’s hand and realized Mike didn’t have a Straight Flush. Andrew stood up, reached deftly across the table and retrieved his hand and then proceeded to scream at Mike, something like this, “That’s totally unethical. You are completely wrong in calling the wrong hand.”

Andrew turned up the Q-10 of Hearts.

Mike began with something like this, “Oh Andrew, just relax. I wasn’t going to claim the pot anyway.”

Andrew screamed louder, to the dealer, “Get the Floor Man!” and then back to Mike, continuing with the, “…unethical, you’re out of line, you shouldn’t be allowed to play here, etc., etc., etc.”

The Floor Man came over – Jason, a dealer, filling in the Floor Shift for the night – and before the dealer could say anything, Andrew took off with his explanation, something like this. “He turned his hand up and stated that he had a Straight Flush. I threw my hand away, just a little bit away from my hands and luckily I was able to retrieve it! He could’ve caused me to lose the pot. That’s totally unethical. It’s uncalled for.”

All this was at full volume, tilt, tilt, T-I-L-T!

The dealer was pushed, Jason told them both to calm down and let it go and walked away. The incoming dealer shuffled up the next hand…

Andrew went off again, he was totally miffed, same tirade, same volume control…as in none.

Mike did a ramble on, “Oh Andrew, sometime when you’re not drinking coffee, I’ll explain it to you.”

Andrew never slowed down. He continued to tell Mike that he was totally unethical and totally out of line.

By now Carmen had arrived with Jason, she was the supervisor for the night. Mike stood up and said, “Just for that I’m leaving.”

Andrew went with, “Good! And don’t come back!”

Then Mike started laughing and said, “Ok, just for that, I’m staying.” He sat back down.

Carmen sternly informed them that enough was enough and they hushed momentarily. The game moved back into poker but still the players talked about it and Andrew was like an ember being fanned by the wind. Mike still acted as if he could care less and he still stated that he wouldn’t have taken the pot. Andrew went into full yell mode again. The dealer screamed for a decision. Carmen came to the table again and this time informed them they would leave for the night if it continued. It stopped.

The over view: Players do misread their hands. Although Mike is out of line by making the statement that he did, what if he had been a tourist and really had thought that he had a Straight Flush? Cards speak!

It’s Andrew’s responsibility to hold his hand until he’s sure of the winning hand. If another dealer had been in the box, Andrew’s hand would’ve been totally irretrievable because his cards would’ve been swept into the muck immediately. Would Mike really have given the pot to Andrew when Andrew could only state what his cards had been? What do you think a snowball’s chances in Hell are?

*****
This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.

When there’s a tournament in some other part of the poker world, the room can get pretty quiet. The room is really easy to work and the games are strong, just less high limit than usual which makes it a poker dealer’s dream.

That’s the way it is right now. But still there’s the occasional High Octane Jack Off at the table that makes poker so fascinating. Last week brought us one of those that kept disrupting the whole room with an incredibly noisy outburst every time chips were shoved in her direction. Surprised? Sure you thought it was a guy!

She was 45-50ish attractive, in pretty good shape, drunk on her butt and having the time of her life because she had a captive audience of nine guys in $4-$8 Holdem and she was taking their money. She never shut up. She rocked the socks right off their feet with her noise and mouth and then came back to ricochet through any thoughts they might have tried to salvage through her grandstanding stage of “I’m here and you’re going to like it!”

Each time she won a pot, she jumped up and whoo-hooed and screamed but that was after she went through the verbal taunting of ‘Oh did I win? I didn’t think I had a chance!”

Umhhh! Who’s playing what game here?

A young man sitting next to her that had put up with her noise in his right ear for a few hours, did the unexpected. He burst out with, “Why don’t you just shut up?” Followed by, “Bet everyone here has been wanting to say that for awhile, huh?”

Everyone laughed, except Ms. High Octane. She just brushed it off with, “You remind me of my son,” and continued to wrangle, jangle, and disrupt everyone.

She called one of the guys in her game a Son-of-a-Bitch. The dealer cautioned her that name calling and swearing wasn’t allowed so a few minutes later she spit out, “fuck!”

The dealer cautioned her again on her language. And again a few minutes later, she did the ‘fucking’ thing again. Cautioned again to watch her language she continued to carry on like she was the only human in the world that was allowed to breathe air and everyone else could share her exhaust.

When a Chip Runner came into view, the dealer asked to have the Shift Supervisor come over. In the meantime, Don B., had to get involved in all of it by making a double innuendo to her, “Why didn’t you call that hand? I can see your well stacked,” eyeing her chest when he said it.

She jumped right on it, stuck her chest out, shoulders back and declared, “Yes, I am!”

The Supervisor came over and sat and talked with her for a few minutes, general conversation, asked her if she was driving home, etc. He really didn’t want to send her on her way because she was having a good time and she had a lot of the chips but she lost her drinking privileges and was cut off. She still made noises for the next hour or so but then slipped away into the night and lights of Vegas. She had the spotlight and the limelight at the poker table for hours and she loved every minute of it. Unknown whether she won or lost.

*****
This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.

A $15-$30 Holdem Game tonight, two locals and five tourists set the stage for a walk through Poker Comedy Land. Everyone gambled but a lot of funny conversation was going on. The 9S was absent and the talk centered around him for a few minutes, how he really liked to gamble and would show you any two cards and he did. The 6S popped up with, “Yeah, but he’s got very good looking daughters.”

The banter went back and forth about his daughters and the 1S said, “Yes but those photos can be touched up you know?”

Everyone roared…dealer included.

The next topic went to, “where are you staying?” The 1S said he was staying at Bellagio. The 6S asked how the 1S could afford the rates as he, the 6S, was in Vegas for a convention and he couldn’t afford it.

The 1S replied that he had a poker rate to which the query came, “How much?”

Reply, “$129 on weekdays.”

The 6S exclaimed, “Good God! Do you get a woman with that?”

The 10S said, “Yes. He gets a maid to clean his room everyday.”

Everyone was in stitches as the 6S persisted, “Does she at least stay an hour?”

The 1S retorted, “That’s all you need? One hour?”

The 6S said he stayed at the hotel that had the little men dressed up in the little vest and little outfit…Les Miserable was mentioned in there somewhere. Then he coughed up the fact that he was staying at the Trop.

Through all the laughter questions were asked about, “How are the rooms there?” “What do you pay a night?” And still the gambling and jamming was going on.

The 6S made a comment that the 8S resembled an actor but couldn’t think of who. The 1S seat went into, “The guy in Shawshank Redemption…somebody help me with what the guy’s name is…”

The 6S named off someone about the time the 1S came up with Tim Robbins.

The 5S said, “I’ll tell you who he looks like and it’s a compliment. James Dean.”

The 8S smiled and said, “I’ve even got leathers.”

Someone else asked, “Oh is that Jimmy Dean, the sausage guy?”

The 6S was told, and the players agreed, that his voice resembled that of Joe Pesci.

The 6S asked the 5S what he did for a living which the answer is poker. And the 6S said he ran an inkjet printer/supply company that did very well back East.

The dealer asked him if he was the one that spammed everyone’s email with the print cartridge sale ads all the time, to which the 6S replied, “No. I use my business as a front for my real business which is selling Viagra and sex aids over the internet.”

The dealer said, “If I get one more email asking me if I want a larger penis”…the guys got really quiet for a few seconds…”I’m going to ask them what it’s attached to.”

Everyone at the table was laughing their butts off. The 5S made a comment that the whole conversation at the table was the strangest he could remember in a long time. The 9S returned, another game broke and filled the three empty seats and everyone quieted right down and went back to poker, poker, poker.

Wish, wish, wish, a recording had been made of the session. It’s one of the rare ones that really make poker fun, funny, funner!

*****
This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.