Linda G. is pretty damned unhappy about my laxness in writing and keeping up the updates about the real world of poker so I’ve vowed to get started, in earnest, and keep the lines and tales from the green felt flowing.

In retrospect to the last post about Dino and Sammy, nope…not the Rat Pack, let’s get back to the Dino thread that was kind of hinting about more to come. Dino’s big claim to fame is that he once held down a job for 6 hours. He hated working. He makes fun of people that are happy in their jobs – especially poker dealers.

It goes something like this, he puts on a stupid grin and then makes sure that no one talks louder than he does, which means he has no volume control, because he wants to be the only person heard and off he goes. “Ohhhhh! I’m so happy I have a mortgage. I’m so stupid that I’m happy I have a job. Ohhhhhhh, I get to come to work every night. I’m so glad that I’m here.”

Drip about 5 gallons of sarcasm all over the statement and the look on his face and you’ll get the picture.

He dresses very well, no jeans and slouchy shirts or run down shoes for this guy, his clothes for the evening might cost more than the average person makes in two weeks. He’s not stupid by any means and he’s very witty, coupled with bitterness and alcohol and a few other drugs over the years…he will tell you this himself so it’s not idle gossip. Yet he’s sitting in the Sport’s Book at 2 a.m. with a girl that looks like she needs a life transfusion, (yeah as in get one), trying to sleep on his arm and he looks at you with alcohol stressed eyes that refuse to focus, and asks if you’re going to the Stardust. So in other words he needs a ride.

He’s always playing low limit, hanging in the Sport’s Book, drunk, slithering around the slots, and security has asked him to leave more than once but he feels he’s got the best of the game. Guess that’s the important part, how he feels about himself.

So back to the game the other night. He comes in after missing his blind and posting, never shuts up, starts a hell of a ruckus with you and you try to side step and slide around all the obstacles he throws in your path because only one other player in the $4-$8 Holdem game is a regular. There’s a few young, new players and you want them to have fun. You don’t want them to get initiated in to how to be an asshole at the poker table in one easy lesson.

After Dino rants at you for longer than God could stand, you just look at him and smile, “Hey, it’s hard to match wits with an unarmed man.”

The kid in the 10 seat busts out laughing. Dino goes a little crazy and wants to know what you said. You just keep dealing. This makes Dino even nosier. He does say something that’s pretty funny though: “If you keep it up, I’m going to have to call someone and have myself thrown out of here.”

That one brought the house down. They all laughed.

At the same time, there’s a sultry beauty in the Four Seat. Of course Dino went after her. She ignored him and parried with a few curt sentences from time to time and finally he made the big mistake of getting really mean.

She had mentioned that her husband played higher limits while conversing with the Three Seat. Dino just couldn’t let it go and stated that he would also play higher limits if he was married to her…followed with, “So I wouldn’t have to be around you.”

The beauty looked like someone slapped her in the face and turned away from him in disgust.

You knew it was too much and he crossed the line so when he started to say something else to her, you interjected with, “Leave her alone. She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

Dino shut up for a few seconds and then started on you again. You get pushed and tell the dealer coming in that Dino has been totally rude to the Four Seat and she doesn’t want to talk to him.

You then go to the Floor Person and tell them that Dino is borderline for being ballistic and he’s hassling the Four Seat. You’re about five minutes in your next down and Dino’s chips are racked and he’s leaving. Well, you mess with the bull you get the horn, Buddy. Who was the beauty? Todd Brunson’s wife, Doyle’s daughter-in-law.

*****
This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.