Sometimes it’s extremely difficult to keep a straight face when you’re dealing a game and a player is going ballistic because they think you’re doing something to them. You’ve never seen them before, and after this session you hope you never see them again, but they are totally convinced that you, the damn dealer, are doing it to THEM.

You slide into the dealer’s box in a lively little, $4-$8 Holdem game that’s rocking and rolling with chips, laughter, and poker, poker, poker…everyone except the Two Seat. He’s European, fairly small in stature and sort of resembles Santa Claus without the beard. He’s got a jaunty little green felt fedora perched to one side and instead of a serene gaze, he’s got glare devils shooting out of his eyes. Especially at you, the dealer, each time he looks at his hole cards. He pelts his cards at your fingers more than once but you deftly avoid any collision with flying objects so he’s not getting any satisfaction there either.

He goes all-in and pulls out a $50 bill. You reach for it because the only cash that plays is $100 bills. He yanks it back and demands $40 in chips and $10 in cash. You just smile and say, “Ok!” and call for a soft break.

He gets his chips and keeps giving you glare looks while the rest of the table is chirping, laughing, and gambling. He’s now the Small Blind and the player under the gun, puts a straddle on it, making it $8 to go.

Everyone’s having a great time and they’re noisy so at least three times, you announce very loudly, “Live eight!” as you shuffle the deck and start to deal.

One player calls, everyone folds to the Two Seat and the Two Seat throws in $2 more for a total of $4. The worst of it happens because the player in the Big Blind throws their hand away which now obligates the Two Seat to either leave in the additional $2 and throw his hand away or call $6 more and playing the hand.

Try explaining this to someone that’s already mad as hell and shoots skin shredding, laser beams at you every few minutes. But of course you do and it works out just like you thought it would. The Two Seat has a fit because he didn’t know it was raised.

In a gentle voice, you explain that you stated it was a live $8 as you shuffled the deck…not just once but three times. And that the action passed him after he called and what his options are.

He’s got a wild look in his eyes, like they might explode right out of his head.

The live $8 Player waves his hand at the Two Seat and says, “Throw your hand away.”

The Two Seat hesitates and finally does pitch his hand. You quickly scoop his $4 into the pot and put up the Flop. The Two Seat keeps glaring and starts mumbling. He zings out a demand, “Call the Floor Man.”

You’ve really had it with his little, mean ass and you look him right in the eye and in a very controlled voice, you state, “I don’t want to because if I do, you might have to leave the game.”

The Two Seat. “I want the know the rules.”

Three players chimed in at the same time, “That is the rule.”

You continue with, “I want you to relax and play poker. Have a good time.” You say it with a smile and just keep on dealing. Hell, that was more fun than getting on his case for being a jerk anyway.

*****
This post is done by Chanzes – during the time period that I took a break from posting in the Diary.