YIKES! I’m drinking wine…2 weeks with one beer and one glass of wine, not even on the same day, and now I’m going off the deep end. You know what that means. Hell yes, you do. The ramble is on and so is the wine.

*****

I know all of you think that I’m a cold, heartless, bitch when it comes to a few of the players but the ones that have hit my super doo doo list really deserve it.

Experience is a great teacher. Still, I’m like a child that really wants to believe in the Cinderella Story, the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and all that wonderful stuff but mankind just keeps beating me in the face with their greed, selfishness, and anger. Yes…I could quit my job and go to the mountains but then what would you, the reader, have to do with your valuable time? And where else can you get this truly human insight into the real game…not just the game as it’s played by Sklansky and Malmuth…but the REAL game?

Lots of people think that I hate Mike D., including Mike D. I do not. I’ve actually started to feel a little sympathy tug for him. He’s barely playing, which means he’s struggling and tonight he was called for $15-$30 Stud. That’s scary for him. I dealt a $30-$60 Holdem game on my last down and he was in the game. I don’t hate him, I just want him to stop throwing cards at me and calling me a ‘piece of shit’ when he loses.

I walked past him the other night and said, “Hello, Mike.” He put his hand out as if he were trailing water in a canoe ride and went on by. Guess it was some sort of ‘hello’. I honestly do try to get along with a lot of players, even if they hate dealers…except J.C. Pearson. I will never give him any consideration as a human because he isn’t one.

*****

I’ve had a lot of people tell me that I should write for a magazine. Truth of the matter is that I don’t want to write for someone that edits me out and sugar coats what’s really going on…I want to tell it like it is…the way it’s played out…the bottom line. You get the picture.

*****

Not only did I deal the $800-$1,600 Mixed Game on table 1, I did not get the $25 tip when time was taken because Cuckoo didn’t want to do that. He wasn’t even in the game when I got there but his chips were.

Flash back to last night…break room…I’m seated with Tung and Thang. Tung had gone through the game with Cuckoo and all the players told Cuckoo when he won the 1st pot that he had to pay time and the $25 to the dealer. Cuckoo literally threw the $25 into the rack. He proceeded to lose the next few hands and kept making comments to Tung about giving him the $25 tip. Ridiculous. Thang and I both told Tung just to chalk it up as a classless idiot that plays high limit.

Soooo….I made $10 out of the game…big $$$ here. But on to the funny parts. I spread a green deck, the game was Deuce to 7, triple draw low. On the 2nd hand dealt, four-way action, raise-raise-raise, Frank, Eli. E., and Magic all managed to point out that some of the backs of the cards were darker green.

Ok. Too much action to worry about it now. It was four-way action, Barry was in the hand also. Ali, in the 1 seat, began pulling the muck towards himself and sorting through it to look for darker cards. I asked him to leave the muck intact because I might have to reshuffle to give the last draw to the players.

Frank in the 5 seat…leaned across the table to me and pointedly stated that we would have brand new cards in the game and that I should tell the supervisor that if more cards came in like this, that they (the players), would call the gambling commission and report this.

Hey. What can I say here? I know that when a bad card is found, it is crushed. I also know that when a player gets mad because they didn’t make a draw or they lost the pot, cards get creased and crushed. I also know that we have substitute cards that are put into decks in place of the destroyed cards. I also know that cards come from the factory, right out of the plastic, with defects and odd colors. So beat me up and knock me out…I refuse to be a carrier pigeon and report old news, so I asked the Brush Person to call the Supervisor so Frank could tell the story to the person that could change it. Obviously I can’t.

Pete came up and listened to Frank…new decks were brought in, right out of the cellophane. Damn it! You Kem Card people should read some of this…you aren’t above reproach here.

Then Magic took off with the ‘they make $2,500 in 24 hours off of this game, we should get brand new decks on every change’.

Yeah, right! First of all, the game normally runs seven handed. $10 per player for each half hour is the time drop. Now…if the game ran 24 hours a day it would be different. And if it ran with 7-8 players all the time, it would be different. But it doesn’t. I’ve often wondered how these mathematical geniuses come up with how much the house makes because all things taken into consideration, the geniuses make their statements on the basis that the game runs with maximum players, 24 hours a day. Not true. If it did, maybe the corporate jerks wouldn’t close down all the poker rooms and roll in the slots.

Well anyway…my next game was $150-$300 Razz. Yes…razz players really do eat their dead.

I did deal a three-handed $1,500-$3,000 Mixed Game later in the night. It was cute because I dealt to Eli E. in this game and had dealt to him in the $800-$1,600 game earlier. I like him and his wife and find them to be refreshing and easy to get along with. Although I’ve had him slam the cards down when he loses and make comments like, ‘she gave me….so I could lose the hand’, he’s never mean or malicious.

*****

One of my last tables for the night was a $1-$5 7 Card Stud game. I told them I had two choices, I could come home and drink some great wine or go out for a jog/walk. A few of them said go for the walk. One of them said walk home and then drink the wine….

Well…I did some upper body work with the total gym and then went out for a 2-3 mile walk and then drank the wine. The hell with poker. Happiness!