To attain a full understanding of the tale about to unfold, you must first picture yourself as an attractive female that holds down a position as a poker dealer. For some of you this will be impossible so why not skip this article and go to another one. For those of you that have an appreciation for all walks of life – read on.
It’s 9:00 p.m. and you’ve just started your shift in a small town that has 24 hour poker. There isn’t a dress code as in black and whites so you’ve chosen a filmy, lavender blouse with a lace camisole underneath and a black, knee length skirt with black heels. You could possibly be mistaken for someone’s date but remember that you’re seated at the poker table waiting for your evening players to come in.
A guy that looks like he crawled out of the nearest dumpster – matted hair, grungy attire, unwashed and scary – comes stumbling through the door on his way to the bar. He takes one look at you, stops and states, “If I can sell this watch, I’m taking you to dinner!”
He’s fumbling around for a watch that he’s pulling out of his pocket and smiling at you with a mouth that’s missing half of it’s teeth. Well, hell! Excuse me if I don’t jump at this opportunity and is there a chance that if he sells that watch that you can refuse or do you have to go with him?
As the next scene unfolds, you’re now dealing to a full game. The players are all male and the one next to you in the 1 seat is the action and drunk. He’s had a yen to play one on one holdem with you for years but he’s married and you aren’t interested – even if he was single. He’s got his leg jammed into your thigh and even though you’ve moved as far away from him as you can, you’re still married to the dealer’s box and can go no further.
No one wants to see Mr. Wonderful leave the game because he’s putting on a show – betting and raising in the dark – and he’s running just lucky enough that he’s got most of the chips. To make matters worse for you, he keeps making comments to you, “Let’s get together baby! – My wife’s out of town and the house is empty and lonely tonight. – I’ve always loved your lips and the way you smile.”
He’s wearing a cowboy hat and he keeps tipping his head towards you so that his hat shields his face from the rest of the players. Apparently he feels they can’t see him so they can’t hear the ridiculous remarks he’s making to you.
You aren’t going to escape this nightmare for over 8 hours as there’s only one game tonight and even though you’ll get a break, you have to come back. Nothing you could say to this jerk would register because he’s too far gone. But wouldn’t you like to tell him to try having sex with himself. Nahhh – he probably still couldn’t get it right.
How about this scenario. You’ve come to work in a dressy blouse, vest, skirt and heels. You’ve accented your attire by adding a necklace of gold and ivory squares that lays up against your neck rather than dangling down your chest.
You’re dealing 5-card stud to 2 females and 4 males. A guy you’ve never seen before takes a seat directly across from you. You sell him chips and the first hand you deal, he looks you square in the eye and states, “I really like your necklace and your tits too!”
Surprised? No kidding! You’re fairly flat chested and the first thing you want to say to him is, “What tits?”
You can’t of course. You’re dealing to women and men and you need to dispel this line of conversation as fast as possible. You reply to him, “Sir, if I worked in an office, you wouldn’t make that comment to me. While I may work in a bar atmosphere I don’t appreciate that comment here either.”
Now the guy apologizes every minute and a half for the next 3 hours. You’re not sure which is worse, the comment or the apology.
Now you’re dealing high limit stud in a prominent casino in Las Vegas. Let’s say you have a fairly kinky hairdo. Spiked and burgundy. The player right across from you, looks at you and says, “I’ve been wondering if you wear your hair the same.”
You smile because you’re not sure what that means. Now he asks if you know what he’s talking about.
You reply, “No.” Of course you’re dealing to 7 other players and trying to keep the game running without getting your head bit off. He cups his hands around his mouth and says only to you (he thinks), “Your hair down below.” You just smile because what the hell else can you do in this situation?
He asks if you’re going to give him an answer to which you reply, “NO.” Now he says, “I guess I will just have to keep my fantasy going.”
Please don’t be in disbelief, these are actual tales. There are a million or more stories like these. What would happen if you took these people literally – you jumped up and threw your phone number at them or asked them to meet you somewhere after work? If someone really wanted to date you, wouldn’t they ask you away from the audience of a poker table? I’m not a crowd pleaser.
I like men…like them? Hell, I love them. Nothing in this life is more wonderful than a man that knows he’s a man, confident and capable of taking care of his life, accepting responsibility for his actions, aware of the female side of being and finding me to be attractive.
I love flirtation. I’m a master at the game or art as I prefer to call it. I love love! Romance is one of the most incredible arts a person – male or female – can learn in this lifetime. I’m not willing to walk out the door with anyone who happens to smile in my direction or send me a look of appreciation, but keep trying, baby. Please keep trying because poker isn’t the only game that’s being played at the table. See you there!