It’s Sunday night to the rest of the world but in my corner it’s Friday. I’ve worked 8 hours a day for the last 4 days and I’m really looking forward to 2 days off . . . one more shift to go and it starts in a $1-5 7-Card stud game. Those boys are gambling and there’s hardly a pot under $60.00. They’re laughing and having fun . . . even when they lose . . . what a nice way to start my day.
I move on down the line, through $3-6 Holdem, $6-12 Holdem, $75-150 7-Card Stud, $40-80 Holdem and then through 3 $20-40 Holdem games. Pretty much run of the mill in all of these games, just shuffle up and deal, push the pots, “blinds/antes please,” deal the next hand and listen to a few whines and chuckles while I’m doing it.
The next game is $200-400 Omaha 8 or Better and it’s 8 handed with a lock up for the empty seat. The action is pretty snappy and chips are rocketing into the pot. One player in particular is losing and whining – making sure that everyone at the table knows that he’s unhappy, (Loud and Whiny shortened to L&W). L&W never lets up. “All you have to do is call when I f__ing raise the pot. I can’t f__ing win, everyone knows that!” This guy can’t talk with out saying the “F” word. He interjects it into each sentence so many times that it’s lost it’s ability to be shocking or place any impact on what he’s trying to say.
I ask him to please watch his language, he ignores me but stops swearing for about 5 minutes and then as soon as he’s involved in another hand, he takes off with it again. I know better than to push at this point so I shuffle and deal. The game has become short handed now and everyone wants him in the game . . . especially if he’s complaining because that means he’s losing.
Just before I’m pushed by the incoming dealer, L&W gets involved in a very large pot which becomes heads up action on the turn and the river. L&W scoops the whole pot and immediately begins swearing and talking about how he thought he was beat one more time, blah, blah, blah.
The man that he beat said very quietly, “You won the pot and you’re out of line. There’s a lady present at the table and all you’ve done is swear and have a fit. If you beat me, you beat me, but stop swearing and behaving like a child.”
I waited a few minutes and then gave him eye contact and mouthed my hugest, “Thank you!” to him. This player made the top of a list with me that very few people have ever even been on in my dealing career, that’s over 20 years little poker buddies. There are all kinds of lists as we all know and a few more follow.
Then I pushed into a $10-20 Holdem game and everyone in it appeared to hate their chips – throwing them into the pots by the handfuls and chasing each other down with A.T.C. (any 2 cards).
A few minutes into my down, 2 players took off in a raising war and at the end of the hand the player in the 1 seat showed down pocket Aces and the player in the 6 seat showed down pocket Kings which he tried to throw into the rack and said, “Thanks a f’n lot!”
I glared right at him and said, “Beg your pardon?” He squirmed around in his seat and looked away as he said, “I wasn’t talking to you!” I gave him the “look” for another half a minute and then pushed the pot and shuffled up for the next hand.
There were 5 players in the game I’d never dealt to before and 2 locals that I deal to all of the time. The locals were in the 8 and 9 seat and having a fit if they lost a hand when they raised the pot. The 8 seat got a set of Jacks beat by a flush and you would’ve thought someone was removing his eye with a spoon. He slammed his cards down so hard they made the “Splat” sound that could be heard 3 tables away.
The 8 and 9 seat consoled each other, groaning together and behaving as first class whiners should. The 9 seat lost a pot with pocket queens and had a fit and mumbled, “You just made the list.”
Then the 8 seat got up and went to sit at an empty table until I finished my deal – to this I always say, “Thank you very much, get the hell out of my game and let me deal to people who came to play and do appreciate a good dealer!”
Another whining local from another game walked by the 9 seat and invited him to come to his table. The 9 seat replied, “No, because then she’ll deal to me in another half hour again.”
Of course by now I’m in rare form and ready to do a dialogue tango with a guy that can’t even spell dialogue so I said, “Gee, I never whine when I have to deal to you!”
Because the 9 seat only knows one form of life and retribution, he said, “You just made the list!”
I said, “Do what you think is best, Sweetheart, I’ve been on that list before.”
He said, “You just made it for all time!”
Well slap my mouth and color me plain happy here. Was he talking about his Christmas list, his shopping list or what? HELL NO! He’s going to stiff me for the rest of my dealing career. Why? Because he got 2 Queens beat while I was dealing to him. Ain’t that enough to cock your pistol? Not because I made a mistake or I was rude to anyone or wasn’t running the game or doing my job . . . simply because he wasn’t winning in a game that chips just rained onto the green felt.
Well, I have news for him. He’s Number 1 on another list that I keep. The Idiot List. My Idiot List is filled with people that don’t appreciate a good game and good dealer, people that run players out of games with comments about their play, people who are miserable and expect you to be the same way, and people that think they are the only one who is supposed to win.
I have other lists also, a lot of you are on them and have a very special place in my life at the table as a player and dealer and I delight in seeing your smile. See you there!