A friendly little $6 – 12 holdem game. You climb into a double raised pot with A-9 of diamonds (you’re the button). The flop comes 8-7-3 with two diamonds. It’s bet – raised – called by two players in front of you – you call. The original raiser re-raises. Everyone calls. A black 6 pops off on the turn and the action goes haywire again. Everyone’s in and when it gets to you, you pop it up – what the hell, you’ve got two over cards, an open ended straight and flush draw.

The bet is capped and you’re rooting for a diamond – by now you know that you’re either up against a set or someone made a straight on the turn. The K of diamonds pops off on the river and everyone checks to you – you slam in the bet and get called in two places. The other two players flopped a set (8’s and 7’s).

The dealer looks at you before she pushes the pot and says, “You needed that diamond!” No kidding, Dick Tracy! But you weren’t in that hand naked. You had all kinds of outs and you got there – so slap my mouth if I’m wrong here in wondering why the dealer was commenting on the hand.

This isn’t meant to drag down the dealing profession – just a little “rip and tear session” on the ones that can’t seem to figure out that players really aren’t interested in whether the dealer’s happy or not. Who the hell cares? If you get into the dealer’s box, it’s your job to move the game and get onto the next hand. If you’re sick, stay home. If you’ve got an attitude, leave it at the front door because all the players have one of their own.

Everybody awake here? Come on let’s play. The night before he didn’t deal over 15 hands in a half an hour and the hands were interrupted with heavy sighs . . . as if the players were bothering him by being there.

You have to trust me, baby. You didn’t trust me and see what happened. To a person who doesn’t tip as much, it’s more like “Go to hell!”

I can see you really need my help. Why would that be? Are you splitting my losses with me or taking credit for my win?

Hey, Joe, how’s the baby and the family? Get that new car yet? No, well, like I told you I have a friend that can help you with that one. Just let me know . . . I’d like to let you know right now that I just came to play poker so could you put a lid on it?

Too many dealers actually believe they have something to do with the win or loss of a player and those dealers create a black hole that all dealers must suffer through. A few players believe that too and that’s what we look for as a player (the dummy that can’t look at the overview). If the dealer actually has something to do with the game – unless they make a mistake – how or why would any of us ever sit at the table?

A lot of dealers believe they should be toked because they push a pot . . . wrong, WRONG, WRONG! A dealer should be toked as a food waiter or a bartender is toked – because they do their job well and are courteous without being too friendly.

Which brings us to cocktail waitresses – Y.e.e.ouch! Big field here – do they even know they are in the customer service business? This is not meant to take credit from those that work very hard and are courteous to their customers . . . but what about those _itches that think you are a pain in the ass because you are forcing them to do their job.

Expressions like: 1) “While I’m here.” Like this is the last drink round on Earth and if you don’t get it now, you’ll be thirsty until the year 2030. 2) “I just came to work so don’t give me heat!” Who the hell cares? Shut up and take the order. 3) “I’m delivering right now.” Well I hope it’s a 27 lb. Boy and he’s really healthy and screams a lot but in the meantime I’d like a coffee and water. 4) “You didn’t order from me!” So what, I want to order now.

What about the tourist that really wants a drink and has reminded the dealer every 4 seconds to get cocktails – the dealer finally gets a waitress and the waitress sees the tourist waving for a drink so she purposely starts at the other end of the table. What the hell is that all about? She has to take the tourist’s order anyway so why not start with him. He may be a $5.00 toker but she’s too busy proving to him that he has to wait until she gets there.

Jeez, I thought this control thing disappeared after grade school but it seems to run rampant in our society no matter where we go or how old we get. Two wrongs never make a right – whether you’re a player that’s behaving badly (throwing your cards, swearing, acting out of turn, etc.) or whether you’re proving to a player that just because they keep a game going for you, you don’t owe them the courtesy of doing your job well – it’s unacceptable.

Be it dealing or cocktails – you are in the service business. If you hate it . . . do something else. If it works for you then figure out that the next hand you deal or the next drink you serve should be done right . . . do it with pride. Not pride for your company or because there’s money in it but because you have pride in yourself. That old saying IF ANYTHING’S WORTH DOING, IT’S WORTH DOING WELL, is so true.

The hell with all the rest of them . . . be the best that you can be. Anyone can just get by. Jeez, what a depressing thought – being like everyone else. Take a giant step forward and be good at what you do. See you there!