The temperature is about 100 plus and you started out to clean the garage and finish your yard work, but . . . you know how those well intentioned thoughts get sidetracked when you’d rather play poker. The next thing you know, the auto pilot on your car has taken you to your favorite air-conditioned poker room.

You can feel the ice cold beverage cooling your parched throat and you haven’t even ordered it yet! You don’t even have to wait for a seat . . . there’s one left . . . right between two of the biggest rocks you’ve ever played poker with.

Rocks! Are they really big, dark, shapeless masses that sit in the middle of the stream and sink your small, unsuited connector as you’re speeding to the river? A true rock sits patiently waiting, knowing that the skill cards will eventually come to him; A-A, K-K. No, he doesn’t enjoy playing and he’s not happy to see you either.

Why let that bother you? The rocks are so easy to maneuver around. If they raise, throw your hand away unless you’re on a mission from God and in a hurry to get back to your honeydews – the chores your mate picks out for you, “Honey do this, honey do that.”

If you pick up those skill cards and you think you have the best of it, look right into the eyes of that rock and fire back. Try to blast a little granite off of his exterior. But remember the definition of a bad hand: One that keeps putting chips in the pot when you know you’re beat.

Believe it or not, most rocks are easier to beat than the rest of the field. They won’t just roll over for you and tumble on down the river but every now and then they’ll give you credit for having a hand. You just have to pick your spots.

A few of those rocks are just wannabees. They’ve tried to carve out a niche in a certain limit of poker and they keep coming back, day after day, trying to prove more to themselves than anyone else, that they are winning players. If the truth were known, a lot of them are swathed in bandages. If those bandages could talk, each one would tell a bad beat. Each beat has been stored up and remembered anew every time another hand gets taken off at the river. These rocks are easy to recognize for they have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. They are never sure when they have the best of it – but definitely know when they got the worst of it.

The most dangerous of all rocks is smooth and fluid. Moving up and down the green felt with ease. Patting your hand and explaining how you definitely had to call with 7-4 off suit because you had a straight draw. You’re stacking the chips, sure that you’ve made a friend for life. You have! This rock just made you feel good because he didn’t complain when you busted off Aces for him in a pot so big you needed a crane to move it.

This rock is capable of turning on a dime and giving you nine cents change. He’ll shift gears so fast that you’ll almost smell the tires burning if you’re paying attention. In fact, you won’t even know that underneath his light hearted banter, he was hoping someone just like you would come in today. He is always in control of the game he’s in. He’ll have you right where he wants you, checking to him when he wants a free card and calling raises when he has you beat. And every time he wins a pot, you’ll be glad he did because he’s such a nice guy.

There’s an old saying in poker: All trappers don’t wear fur hats. See you there!