$4-8 holdem, the chips are rocking and rolling back and forth across the table, a delightful player from Florida has a seat on my left.

I’m first to act and raise with A-K…he calls with 7-4 off suit. Everyone else except the two blinds folded. The flop was J-8-5. I released my hand to a bet in front of me and “Florida” on my left called. A 7 came on the turn. Florida called a bet on the Turn and River and a lone pair of 7’s were good.

While he was stacking the chips, he looked me dead in the eye and as serious as could be, said, “I was worried about those two. You never know what they’re going to turn over!”

He was motioning towards the two blinds as he spoke. I kept the straightest face I could possibly manage and totally agreed with him.
What a country. What do people do that don’t play poker?

I received 2 emails from “RV Library”. The 1st one contained an attachment entitled “happy.exe”. The 2nd one read “f_ck you”.

I deleted the 1st one without opening the attachment. The 2nd one I replied to asking “What’s this all about?”

To date, I haven’t received a reply from “RV Library” whose email address is [email protected].

Just off the top of my head, I’d have to guess that the “happy.exe” file wasn’t in my best interest. After reading the 2nd one…I’m sure that ‘rvp5651’ is a cowardly snipe, incapable of sitting down and discussing a problem/situation in an adult manner.

Apparently ‘rvp5651’ didn’t like something on my website or I may have dealt to or played poker with ‘rvp5651’ and he/she didn’t like the results. Oh well…

Lately I’ve been on the brain dead side of life and have gone into work every night and signed up to play instead of deal, (the EO/play trick). Some think this is wonderful because you get paid minimum wage while you’re playing. It is if you win. If not, you’re thinking of the night’s wages that you gave up in tokes only to lose playing and it’s not a pretty sight.

While I haven’t lost a lot, win some times, lose sometimes, I’m still not beating the game enough to make it worthwhile and it’s time to go back to dealing all of my shift.

Tonight I was given the perfect reason to go back to dealing. I’ve been struggling for the last three months with poker, lots of non-playable hands for hours on end (9-4, 6-3, 8-3, off suit) and then when I pick up AA, KK, QQ, even if I flop a set, I can’t win the hand. I know…we all go thru that…now that that’s out of the way, on with the story.

I help start an $8-16 holdem game, I’m in the 8 seat. A young woman sits down on my left (9 seat) and she’s complaining that she’s so glad she’s out of the game she came from because ‘such&such’ a player never shut up or quit complaining.

Our game takes off, new players come, seats get filled. The young one on my right has a boyfriend that plays and he’s at the other end of the table from us. I believe that I’m the only one that knew he was her boyfriend.

The girl and her guy both get involved in a hand with one other player and on the turn, her guy bets, she raises, the other player folds and now it’s just her and her guy…they both turned the nut straight but he has a flush draw with his hand and makes it. She wasn’t happy.

A few minutes later, I pick up two red Aces, her guy is the small blind, I’m three out of the blind, I raise and everyone behind me folds, he calls $12.00, the big blind calls and one player in between us calls also. The flop is three hearts. The short of it is that I have Aces with the Ace of Hearts and he flopped a small flush, 6-4 of hearts. I think he’s desperate to play when he calls a raise in that position with no other callers in between but what do I know? He wins the pot.

A few minutes later I’m in the big blind with 9-7 and the pot’s raised, the boy friend calls, three other players come in and I call $8 more.

Flop is J-9 little, check to the boyfriend, he fires, two people call, so do I. I turn a 7 giving me two pair. Boyfriend has J-9 off and wins with two bigger pair.

A few minutes later, the guy who sat down in the 10 seat and originally wanted to play 7-Card stud, left his hand out in the playing field after he called a raise. I reached over and pushed his hand back, and trying to be helpful, said, “Put something on your cards and protect your hand.”

The girlfriend, out of nowhere, said to me, “You are so irritating! Honestly, stop acting like you’re dealing the game.”

I was stunned. I looked at her and she failed to give me eye contact. I would have liked to have said, “Get a fly swatter, Honey, it’s going to get a lot worse!”

But of course, I work there. I’m loosing, her beau snapped off AA for me and I’m “irritating” because I tried to help another player.

I got a rack and put my chips in it and went home. So the Vegas community was deprived of my action because I couldn’t handle the stupid remarks that people make. If I opened my mouth, it would’ve made matters worse.

I’m indignant when people think that just because I’m playing, even though I bought my own chips, that I have to shut up and am not allowed to say anything. To all of you that feel that way, shove it, stow it, cram it and try not to be irritating while you’re doing all of that…the rest of us would like to play poker.

A few nights ago in the Bellagio Poker Room, 2 gentlemen sat on table 30, playing $4-$8 limit holdem. One of them plays regularly at Bellagio…the other a stranger.

The Regular kept looking at the tourist…knowing that he knew him from some place else…then he realized, they had both been imprisoned in a Nazi War Camp over 55 years ago.

It was a chance encounter. They’d never stayed in touch after they left the camp. They rejoiced at seeing each other and talked of times long gone and wounds that never quite heal.

Wish I’d of been at that table for that one. See you there!

$4-8 holdem had me trapped in the Twilight Zone. Four hours into the game left me down $100.00 and never finding a playable hand. The game was full, lots of action, just none of it in my little section of green felt.

A new player sat down, one seat away, on my left. He was quiet the first half hour, then it was nonstop. He’d played at the Stardust years ago. Made between $500 and $1,000 every day. Knew everyone in poker, but had no idea what their name was, as in ‘the kid with the short hair on top, long hair in the back, oriental, wears gold around his neck’. My guess would be Scotty Nguyen. Then it’s ‘the guy that writes and sells real estate’. Guessing again, I’d think it’s Roy Cooke, but who knows? This guy is a name dropper without the names.

I played 9-7D one off the button and flopped top pair and a 4 flush, turned the flush and won the hand. He couldn’t wait to explain to everyone how that was a bad hand to play because I didn’t have correct pot odds, etc.

The next round of the table, he called a raise with 7-4D, right behind the raiser and only the two blinds in the hand, they folded under the raise. The flop was J-9-3, rainbow. The Raiser bet, the Name Dropper called. The turn was a 4, same action. River card, the Raiser checked, so did the Name Dropper. Needless to say a pair of 4’s won the pot. This action is after the big lecture on pot odds…wonder how the hell he knew a 4 was coming on the turn and that it was good????

A few minutes later, a player next to me asked how far it was to Yellowstone National Park. I said around 10 hours, the Name Dropper took off with it was about eight hours to the Golden Gate Bridge. I asked him what the connection was…between Yellowstone and Golden Gate…he said they’re about the same distance. I asked if he was aware where Yellowstone was, he brought up the Red Woods in Sequoia National Park, I asked if he knew where Montana was, he kept babbling.

I gave up. After eight hours I was down $100 and he was up $300 after two hours. I went home. Go Figure.

A few weeks ago on a Sunday, which happened to be my Friday, I was playing $8-16 holdem. Came into a quiet room and signed up for an EO/Play. Started playing at 7 p.m. and by 11 p.m. had clocked out and was on my 2nd beer. The usual crowd stopped to say hello and a few sat down behind me as sweaters and just to visit. It was very relaxing and I was going into my weekend. Yippee!

Cruised into the Sport’s Book Bathroom and on my way back to the game, a player stopped me, asked if he could talk to me. He had to finish a short conversation with another player first.

I said, “Yes.”

As he finished his conversation, a million thoughts ran thru my head: What could he possibly want to say to me? What the hell is going on? Is this going to get ugly?

To understand my thought process, you would’ve had to have dealt to and listened to this player and all of the horror stories of other dealers over the last 10 years.

It’s not a pretty sight. He plays high limit 7 Card Stud and mercilessly watches you like a hawk to see if he can make you miserable. If you act hesitant at all, he’s there, poised and cold, slicing through you like the slicing and cataloguing of the Virtual Man.

His eyes are cold and unforgiving. His cards come in like lightning bolts ready to slice off your fingers and hands, they usually come in face up and face down at the speed of light…slipping into the mucked cards (if you get your hands out of the way in time), so you have to sort through all of the cards to get the deck back into face down order.

I’ve always made an effort to be sociable to all players…as in “Hello, how are you?” Nothing out of the ordinary, just cordially friendly. I gave up on him a long time ago. The last time I passed him between games and said hello, I dealt to him a few moments later. He lost a pot and threw his cards down the table as he snarled, “They look you in the eye and say hello and then get in the game and deal you off.”

After all these years, that was enough for me. I walked around him like he was a pit viper. If I passed him, I averted my gaze and never ventured into his space.

Well now I’m standing face to face with him in the Sport’s Book wondering what the hell he wants to talk to me about.

The other person walked away and he turned to me with a tortured look and said, “For whatever it’s worth, I’m really sorry. I’m just really sorry.”

My mouth must’ve fallen open, my eyes must’ve widened at least eight feet. I never thought that I would ever hear anything like this.

He continued, “You always used to speak to me, I’m just so sorry.”

I said, “I just got tired of getting my head bit off.”

He looked like he was going to have an emotional break down. He said again, “I’m so sorry.”

I took his hand and leaned over and gave him a small peck on the cheek. I said, “I want to say hello to you. Just don’t bite me, ok?”

He said, “Ok.”

With that I walked off and went back to my game. I marveled over that conversation for at least a week. The following night I passed him in the poker room, put my hand on his arm and said, “Thank you.”

He looked me right in the eye and said, “No, thank you.”

I haven’t seen him since. I don’t really expect the poker table situation to change much if I deal to him again but he gave me something that I never thought he could give. Matter of fact, I’d have bet a lot of money on the fact that he couldn’t/wouldn’t apologize to anyone for anything. Jimmy McHugh gave me a glimpse of someone that I’d never seen. It was way cool.

Some days you’re cheese…some days you’re grilled.

The difference between a poker player praying at church and praying at the poker table? At the poker table he really means it!

“My strategy is to adjust my strategy to whatever works at the time.”

“War is hell and so is poker!”

After going all in and losing the pot, “I was done about 4 hours ago…I just forgot to throw in the towel!

“The big chested drink fairies seem to do fairly well.”

$15-30 stud player after going all-in and winning the pot: “I wanted to go home, you guys won’t let me.” The loser of the pot, “Nope, you have to stay here and suffer with the rest of us.”

$40-80 Stud Player after listening to the whoops and hoots of 4 ladies in a $1-5 stud table: “Guess they don’t know the rule…women should be exposed but not heard!”

Overheard at a $30-60 Holdem table in Las Vegas…a well known male writer/player stated, “I like a nice, firm shaft!”

Yes, he was talking about a golf club.

A $1-5 stud player: My wife says it’s a good thing stupidity is painless, otherwise I’d be crying all the time!”

“I’d rather have frost on my peaches than you in my pot!”

“It ain’t no fun when the rabbit’s got the gun!”

“Didn’t know there was an ass big enough to fit a horseshoe that size!”

“All trappers don’t wear fur hats!”