My standard, canned answer is, “Life!”

That answer is a shortie but how true. While we race through our everyday chores and existence, life is going on. I tell myself, every time I post here, that I will be more diligent and be back more often and start throwing out some old dealer/player tales, and new tales as they happen – even promising myself that I may start a series of Poker Tales again, yet life keeps happening and I keep getting waylaid to other events and circumstances that aren’t in the top 1,000 pick of the week for fun things to do.

Like What?

Like last week, I’m sitting in the dentist’s office, waiting to be called in to pick up and have the new appliance adjusted to fit my mouth, etc., etc., etc., while my brain ran in relentless circles, recycling what had happened in the last 24 hours and what would happen over the next few days – and in the future. As I tossed and caught different thoughts and ran them through instant replay, I sat completely still, no finger tapping, no foot stomping, and no one around me knew anything about what was going on in my head…ever wonder what the clown sitting next to you is going through? I do!

We all have issues. Some are life changing and ugly. So was the case with me that day. Someone that I’ve known for quite some time, and have not always had the best relationship with, had called me the night before FROM JAIL. Ouch! I spent a good part of my night pulling money of out places I had to pull it, and going to a bail bondsman. I put my signature on the line that said I would be responsible for this person showing up in court…and handed over all my spare cash. Then my son and I drove by that person’s place to make sure their house was locked up – because that’s where they were arrested at – and the police (nice cops…nice cops…) had left the whole back of the house open, opened up windows and the back door and just left it that way, the person’s wallet and cc’s laying out on the sofa and some cash that had been in the wallet were right where anyone, that wanted to walk in through the back, could find them. My son skinnied up over a block wall fence and locked up the whole place. I got home and to bed about 4 a.m.

Back to the dentist’s office. I was fitted for that obnoxious piece of metal and plastic that I’m supposed to wear as much as possible – and sleep with it stuck in my teeth. Ugh! It puts a lot of pressure on one spot in my front teeth and there’s a huge bubble in the roof of it so that I can’t bite down – anywhere – without hitting that bubble. I have no idea how it’s supposed to allow my dentist to figure out how my bite has changed, when all I want to do is chomp down hard on it and see if I can break it in half. (Haven’t tried it but I may before this is over).

After I left the dentist’s office, that evening, I got a call from the person that had been in jail…OUT! I picked them up and took them home. There’s a child involved, due to CPS, and I don’t know what the end result will be. No…this person wasn’t harming the child. We are all in a holding pattern now until court date and a few things are decided. It’s not pretty. The good news is that I got my bail $$ back and the person and I are on much better terms now. This person told me that I was the only one they could call for help. Life is so freaking weird!

*****

On to other things, tomorrow, 7 a.m., I’ll be at the dentist for a cleaning and yearly x-rays, where I plan to bitch about the appliance and see if some adjustment can be made on it. I have to wear it for about another week anyway. It really makes me appreciate what people go through with braces and retainers…Kee-rist…I’ve been lucky all these years.

*****

Marie and I met at the Palms on Friday and Wayne even dealt to us – that’s a first in a long, long time. He’s there when we go in but we always miss his tables – or he misses ours. I managed to create a bit of a furor when Wayne was sitting down to deal, the outgoing dealer didn’t tell him that the 4s was a new player. I did.

The 4s had about $25 in front of him, the buy-in is $40. Wayne told him he needed $40, the 4s had transferred from another table and thought he was good to go. It turned into a real mess. Wayne called the floor.

Some of the players were saying, “We don’t care…let him play,” and me saying, “I care. What’s the rule?” and all kinds of noise and confusion, the floor ruled that it was ok to deal him in. WTF???? The guy on my left was pissed at me because I objected, he grabbed his chips and hit the road. The 4s was mumbling about he could go to the ATM, he had money, blah, blah. I tried to explain to him that it had nothing to do with him, (Marie was in the 5s and I was in the 6s), and the 4s continued to act all jilted and hurt that anyone would think he couldn’t afford to play.

The 3s (deals somewhere here in Vegas) got into the mix and told me I should just be quiet…”you are upsetting the player…”

I went Linda pig eyed red. I should just be quiet? When I’m a player in the game, I don’t have options like the rest of the players? Open mouth, throw sarcasm with dripping acid on it, “For all the players I’m upsetting, they can kiss my ass.”

The 3s replied, “You’ve got a lot of class, lady.”

I said, “Thank you for noticing!” and meant it.
The 4s jumped up to go get $$ from the ATM because he blew off the small stack he had in front of him.

Wayne gracefully danced in and asked the 3s what would have happened where the 3s worked. The 3s responded that the 4s would have had to have had a full buy-in.

It blew over.

The 8s went all-in and lost and pulled out a $20, Wayne told him he would have to have $40, that was the buy-in…the 8s pulled out another $20. There you have it folks, if it’s $40 for one player, it should be $40 for all players. And that my friends is why you do the same thing, the same way, every time when you’re running a poker game. If I’d been the 8s, I would have had Wayne call for a decision and threw it in the floor’s face that the guy in the 4s got away with a short buy-in. Wayne handled it correctly, the floor person didn’t.

We played for about another hour and left the building. Amazingly, we both won.

*****

Riot has been here, jamming Spiderman Friend or Foe with me, spending the night about four out of six nights as of late. We love each other a lot. Baby Kate has been here a few nights with me while mom went to work, she’s growing by leaps and bounds and is truthfully one of the happiest babies I have ever had the pleasure of knowing…great smile.

*****

Then on Saturday we had to go rescue my 2nd truck from the tow shop…my son drives it. He parked in a zone that is loading and unloading at his cousin’s apartment building – late night. The towing company has the right to be the vulture in the desert, they just drive through the court whenever they feel like it, and tow. My son went down the following day, with the cash – $210 freaking outrageous – and even though his last name is the same as mine, and his DL has the same address as me, they wouldn’t let him claim the vehicle because his name isn’t on the registration. Assholes! They have you, just like the government’s got you…no customer service there. I had to stop doing everything and go down to meet him to get the truck out of jail.

*****

On the upside, I have a new granddaughter in the works, due sometime towards the end of May. That may be my big road trip of 2008, heading up into Oregon so i can hang out and help with the sweet new babe and give mom and dad a minutes rest.

In the meantime, there’s always some drama, some new issue, something shaking in my neck of the woods. And that, my friend’s, is only part of what’s going on.