Where’s that electric fork?

They say you get lucky just before you die. I know I’m going to live a helluva long fucking time. Yes, I’m basing this on last night’s poker play. I played for two hours before I won my first pot – flopped a set – SCORE! Chips were pushed my way. The very next hand I flopped another set, two spades came on the flop, a spade on the turn, the other two players in the hand with me both made flushes, and I had a spade in my hand, the worst of it was the first flush draw bet the flop like it was a ‘given’. I raised the flop; needless to say the highest flush draw won the pot.

A few minutes later, I picked up two spades, the flop brought two spades. The same player that beat my set, had the same flush draw I had – a lower one – but the river brought a deuce and that player dragged that pot also because she held a deuce.

A few minutes later I picked up A-A, thesame player climbed right in with J-7. Take it J-7. I wasn’t handling it at all well. I admit to faunching and puddying a little bit, I wasn’t ‘donkeying’ her or being mean, I just wasn’t in my normal attitude and I knew I should have just bagged it right there. But I stayed to punish myself a little longer.

I had A-Q in the BB, the 3s was cranking it up every now and then with anything (lots of tequila sliding down that boy’s throat), and this hand was no exception. The 6s called the raise on the button. I flopped top pair and got smashed into oblivion by K-2from the 6s’shand, he caught trip deuces. YUMMY! I did make a comment then, “Must have known it was coming…you should be playing $15-30.”

He replied that he played $15-30 much differently.

Snotty Linda, “Really? Why?”

As soon as I start making comments, I can’t win…sure I can win a pot now and then but I really CAN’T WIN, and I know better but it didn’t stop me. I stopped whining for a few minutes and told him that I was just crabby, that I know how poker goes and that I wasn’t handling it well today, just being a grouch. We shared some laughs and visited. A bit later he asked me if I was a dealer, I told him I was and that I dealt a lot better than I played. He was more than kind, telling me that I played quite well and there wasn’t anything I could have done any differently, I was just running unlucky. I didn’t agree or disagree with him, we just moved off the subject.

The game went on. We got a new player in the 7s named Dave. What a nice guy and warm personality. He lives in Denver and we chatted about snow, life, poker, and everything in between. It took him about two hours before he dragged his first chip.

I raised UTG once with 10-10 and flopped a set, K-10-? I beat A-A in that hand. Truthfully I never knew he had Aces until he called me on the river and showed them down. He played it like he K-Q or something lesser. This whole game was about never knowing where you were in a hand.

We got a new player in the 1s. He posted the blinds and when he had the button, everyone called $4. I looked down to 3-4C, and I called. The button raised it to $8, and everyone called. I raised it, chiding them all and telling them to make the pot so big they couldn’t throw their hand away on the flop…everyone called, no raisers. The Flop was K-2-6 with the 2C. Everyone checked, so did I, the 1s bet, everyone folded, I called, the 5C popped off on the turn. Everyone checked to me, so did I. The 1s bet, everyone folded, and I check raised. The 1s called, a 5 came off on the river, pairing the board but I bet out. The 1s called and showed A-K, I stacked my first real pot of the night.

Almost everyone at the table really had no poker skills. I’ll slide by the 6s with that one, he knew what he was doing. The rest of the table kind of played like shit…but don’t worry, I couldn’t beat them, most of it I just watched happen; I was side-lined by my pocket cards.

Damned if I didn’t look down to K-K. I raised it, the four tables around us all came over and called, or so it felt. I fell in love with the flop, K-4-5 rainbow. The 10s tried to raise me on the Flop when I bet out, it was a S-T-R-I-N-G B-E-T! Good thing, it saved me $8. The turn was a Q. I bet and ended up with the 10s as my only challenger. The river was a J, three clubs on the board, and I bet out anyway. The 10s tried to raise me again but he did it incorrectly and I was saved another $8. He showed A-10 offsuit to make a straight.

Stick an electric fork in me – shove it right into my left eye and keep twisting until the voltage blows the top of my brain out.

I stood up, picked up my chips and said, “That’s enough for me.”

The 6s and Dave were sympathetic -that makes it worse at times – I simply explained that I had other things I’d rather do than sit through any more hands like that, and finished with, “Besides, I told you I was crabby.”

The 1s was trying to raise me with A high, just like he knew runner-runner something was going to come along and save his sorry, drawing mortally wounded, dead ass. It did! I figure to live to be about 140 at that rate. And I’ve been beat like that thousands of times, and I will be again, but for some reason, last night I just couldn’t get a handle on myself and where I was…time to go.

*****

Jim AKA Monkey was in a $30-60H game when I hit the room. I pulled a chair up behind him for a few minutes and we visited. He was slamming chips at the pot – his plane was leaving at 9:10 and I think he had it narrowed down to the second as to when he would have to hit the cashier’s window and sprint to the front entrance for a cab to the airport. He’s always in rare form and one of the people I truly treasure in life. I accused him of being a cheap date and a poker whore as I left him to return to my game, he laughed and agreed.

*****

An update on the Mirage Special “Special Event”. Although Dennis has left us and moved on to another place in time, the Holdem Tournament planned for Thursday isstill on schedule. Donna Harris -Director of Mirage Poker Operations – has received queries from people about making it a NLH event. Her response is that it’s going to remain a limit event to celebrate life and the short time we all have with each other, and that this tournament is about honoring Dennis’s life.

Debbi Jackson and family will be at the eventin mass support.

I’ve received an email query from a great, kind, wonderfully thoughtful person, inquiring as to sending a donation for Dennis’s family since this personcan’t make the tournament. For your info, you can send a donation to: Debbi Jackson C/O Donna Harris, Mirage Poker, 3400 S. Las Vegas Blvd, LV, NV 89109.

If you can make it to the event, please do, if not I hope you will’think’ yourself there in spirit and hope for brighter days and cures for diseases that take people from us way too soon.

*****

As I cruised down Industrial Road the other afternoon, I found this sign.

violaters_1.jpg

I didn’t know violators had owners. Now I’m wondering if owners have to license their violators. Umnhhhh!