I now know that I will never have ‘seen it all’. I suspected it for a long time but I went so long in between new events that I thought it was possible that I had seen it all. The event that brought me to this conclusion was the most disgusting case of tip soliciting I have ever witnessed. I wanted to knock myself out just to put me out of my misery in watching him try to weasel a tip out of a player.

The dealer’s name is Manny. He joined us somewhere along the 2004 December Tournament if I’m remembering this correctly – I hardly know what my schedule is let alone someone else’s so at times I could miss the truly essential time details of another person’s life. I’ve played in a few games he dealt. He’s pushed me several small pots and each time I’ve given him a $1 toke, he looks at me like I’m cutting off his oxygen. Not to worry, he always takes the toke but never says ‘thank you’ or even smiles.

In general, it’s disgusting to watch him deal. First of all, he’s one of the dealers that does the ‘accordion’ with the stub when he’s ready to release the deck – only in low limit games of course. He also has an ugly habit of pushing the pot and holding back a few of the chips – in $15-30 he pushes all of the red ($5) chips in one pot and then delivers all the blue ($1) chips in a stack which he smacks onto the table in front of the winner with, “Thank you!” – in games lower than $15-30, he pushes all the chips except five or six and then delivers them in the same manner as the $15 game. He’s flat out begging for a tip. Sort of makes me want to throw up.

Back to the part where I wanted to knock myself out – I was pushing him in the line-up. He was dealing Table 15 – up on top – $10-20 NLH. Table 16 was a break and we were pushing a four-ball. When I walked up behind him, even though there was a lot of action going on in a hand between the 1 and 4s – like bet $500, raise it $800 more kind of thing – Manny loudly demanded, “TIME, put up $7 for Time,” and since they pretty much ignored him, he yelled it again, “TIME – PUT UP YOUR $7!”

The hand was still in progress, Manny was acting like a lunitard by demanding Time, and the only reason he was doing it was to get everyone’s attention that this was his last hand and he would be leaving. And yes, I’m damn positive that was the only reason he was doing it. He wanted a tip.

The hand finished. He banged the table with both fists, “TIME. Put up your $7 for the next dealer. You have to pay Time.”

Ke-e-rist! I’ve never seen a dealer do this. It was embarrassing and I hadn’t even planted my tush in the box…and no, he wasn’t trying to help me out, he was trying to help his pocket out.

He didn’t receive a tip so he stood up, slapped the table with both hands and blurted out, “OK!”

As I sat down, Manny walked over and wedged himself up against the table between the 3 and 4s. J. Kwik, one of our regular players, occupied the 3s. And the 4s was animated, young, still stacking a big pot, and talking about the hand.

Manny demanded, “I need to color up some chips here,” as he dug into his pocket and pulled out some $1 chips, stacking them on the table in between J. and the 4s.

J. gave Manny a bigger chip for the blues without really even looking at Manny. Nothing was working for poor little Manny. He was supposed to be pushing 16, the dealer there was waiting to go on break, but Manny hadn’t succeeded in letting everyone know that he was supposed to receive a tip. So he blurted out, “I’m going to the bathroom!”

No one even looked at him, except me – wish my eyes could burn holes in things. Why did we need to know that he was going to the bathroom? Because we had to turn our attention to Manny, else he would get STIFFED! I would love to have stiffed him with a baseball bat by this time. He left. But never fear, within a minute or two he returned…standing behind the 1s. My God! Does this freak know he’s supposed to be pushing the line-up? And to make matters worse, he didn’t have to come back to Table 15 to get to Table 16. He went out of his way to come back up ‘on top’ and stand behind the 1s.

Finally…

The 4s looked up and saw Manny, smiled, and gave him a tip. Manny left. The dealer on 16 finally got pushed. The game finally went on without Manny hanging out waiting for a handout.

I can’t help but wonder if the 4s had never looked up or tipped him, what Manny’s next move was. Would he have jumped up on the table? How about trying to swing off the chandelier? Why not just wear a sign that reads, ‘I beg for tips’?

In all of my years of dealing and playing, I’ve never seen anything like that. Yup, I talked to my supervisor about it.

And for the first time in my playing/dealing career, I’m going to stiff a dealer when the opportunity presents itself.