Friday, July 30, 2004

Women! Women in poker! Creating a realistic picture of the feminine side of poker has tortured and tantalized my thoughts for at least an eon…well maybe a year or so. It’s hard to find a femine side since the final product…poker…requires a complex, tangled recipe that starts something like this:

1) Prepare a table covered with green felt, have a dealer standing by, provide drinks and nourishment, run 24/7.

2) Pour all elements of human emotion into a vat the size of the Earth, add people, toss in an ocean of cash, add skill and luck to season, stir gently (there’s so much going on in there, if you ‘beat’ the ingredients, they might explode) sprinkle random cards generously over the top of the mixture, and spoon onto the table.

Congratulations, you’ve just created a poker game. Enjoy!

So…back to women.

Most people dress in a uni-sex fashion and sometimes it’s hard to tell the girls from the guys. I find it rather amusing that men can’t wear tank tops into a poker room (and bathing suits are not permitted) but women can wear anything and it’s acceptable…some of the apparel, or lack of, would border on modeling Victoria’s Secrets.

A small percentage of the women that play, play on the role of being a woman…they use it as a tool against their male opponents. Most women play the game, the way it’s meant to be played. They play in all limits and games; they are a minority but more and more women are stepping into the ‘green felt arena’ with the recent poker explosion.

While I could profile a lot of the women I deal to, one in particular comes to mind. Her name is Mary AKA Mama-mia Mary. I met her years ago at the Mirage. She’s a classic. She’s beautiful…along the lines of the sensual, mysterious beauty. Her attire is always classy (never garrish or noisy, sloppy or unkempt) and she truly represents my idea of WOMAN in any given situation.

She never seems to run out of energy…maybe that’s because she’s a tourist and can’t sleep when she gets here.

She champions the under dog, always defending the dealers if someone says anything rude or out of line to them and a few years ago, she took on the ‘Two plus Two’ discussion board when a thread appeared berating dealers (me).

She plays so many games when she takes a seat in a poker game, that most people get lost trying to keep up with her innuendos and they just give up…some of them call her ‘Mary the Mouth’ because she’s always on them and has a comment about almost everything.

Her verbal exchanges are usually flippant and meant in jest, like:

The phone person paged, “Mary Tyler, phone call, line…”

She looks at me as I’m standing waiting to push into her game, “Will you tell him my name isn’t Tyler.”

I did.

After she finishes the call, I said, “I told him your name wasn’t Tyler but it didn’t really matter because you’ll answer to anything.” **laugh**

Mary, “Especially when I have my clothes off.”

Another line I’ve heard from her when she’s in a pot with a guy and he tells her she made him nervous with a raise…

The guy, “You scared me…”

Mary, “I like my men weak and trembling…”

My view of Mary may not be like anyone else’s. I believe Mary originally played poker more for the social exchange and ‘game playing role’ (that goes hand in hand with a poker game) than trying to beat the game or be a winning player. My thought is that she stepped in to poker to escape the real world and through her experiences at the table, she discovered Mary. The bud has turned into a beautiful blossom.

I discovered Mary a long time ago…