This is long…sorry, no short version available. A twist with Marty C. and Kim, AKA The Dragon Lady.
It’s pretty much like a time warp with Marty C. He’s the one that plays $40-$80 Stud and thinks I’m ‘a curse, a witch’ and a few other things when he loses a hand with me dealing. There’s more than one post on him in the ‘Table Tango 2nd Quarter’ page.
He was in the 4s a few nights ago when I pushed into the game. He won the 2nd or 3rd hand I dealt, big pot, and he filled up and got paid off. He did a rant, “The curse is off…back from the ‘elephant’s graveyard’…she took the curse off…I’m even tipping her, it’s the first one in five years.”
He threw me a $1. He’s right, it is the first one in five years. He still rattled, She hasn’t dealt me a hand in years…a Miracle on 34th Street…”
Sorry kids, but that movie was a classic and about Santa and miracles for a little girl. A fizzball poker player using it in conjunction with losing/winning a hand should be classed as a sin.
It’s not the first hand he’s won with me. He wins quite a few but just never remembers them, he’s got selective memory. He won several hands back to back, big pots…he never shut up with his ramble, ‘she took the curse off…’
He tipped me a $1 on each hand he won, I thanked him and slept through his rant. He finally got up, stated that he was almost even and leaving, he’d been buried to the tune of about $5,000 according to him. He thanked me for getting him even, literally, “Thank you, Linda.”
Shocking! I was no longer ‘she’ or a ‘curse’ or a ‘witch’. Don’t worry, I can slip right back into that ‘she/curse/witch’ thing in a heart beat…all it will take is one hand.
Tonight I dealt to Kim, twice! It should be illegal for any dealer to have to go through some games twice in the same night…except for me of course. I’m practically made of steel, have the patience of God, and I know how to do my job with a little tact and humor so…
My first run through the game, Kim was playing over the 4s. As I was waiting to push in, she caught my eye and motioned at the Play Over Box, letting me know she was playing over. I nodded. She motioned at the box again. I walked around behind her and lifted the box and took out $7 for time, she said quietly, “I’m not paying time. I just pick my chips up and act like I’m leaving.”
I chided her, “You know you’re not supposed to do that.”
She gave me the big eyed, ‘I can do anything I want look’ and I started laughing.
Interruption for a little Kim history.
I used to be terrified of her. She could make a grown man scream for mercy when she goes into one of her fits and she’s been around the casinos in Vegas for a long time. Everyone tolerates a lot from her because she’s mass action stirred into total tilt and ready to blow…yes…temper and money.
She’s got a few players trained to ante her every time they win a pot, of course she reciprocates but she will flat out ask some of them to give her a bet when they win a pot, whether she was in the hand or not. She always expects everyone to jump through hoops when she’s in the game and she rat holes bills, as in wins and then sells chips for $100 bills to anyone that wants more chips, then she sneaks the bills into her pocket when she thinks no one is looking. Nope, that’s not allowed, the games are table stakes. Unfortunately, it’s hard to catch her if you’re a dealer and she does it all the time, so I’m sure as hell not going to get into the middle of that little mess with her. If a player jumps her about it, she puts them back, but otherwise she gets away with it.
She’s heartlessly cold about everything and anything when she’s not winning. You’d think she was going to jump up on the table and kick your head off when she lost a pot…hey, don’t suggest it, she might try it. She has another side though…I’ve had her snap and bark at me and then a few minutes later, in a child like voice, query, “You’re skin is so beautiful, how old are you? Do you mind telling me?”
It’s as if we met for the first time and the slate was clean.
I watched her berate and ridicule Marty a few weeks ago. He won a pot. She started by asking him if he’d give her a loan, fiery excitement in her eyes like the Toreador setting up the bull.
He countered with, “You have plenty of money.”
“No I don’t. I’m broke.” She has a diamond on each hand that would blind you.
He went into, “Well, sell your house.”
Fire snapped into her eyes. She snorted, “I have lots of houses. You couldn’t afford one of my houses.”
He fell into the ‘male grovel’ mode, “Well why don’t you take me home with you? You could take care of me.”
She picked up her cell phone that had the extendable antennae on it…you know, the slender wire with the knob on top…she held it horizontal to the table, pulled out the antennae and flipped it with her finger, “Why would I take you home with me when I would get this?”
She flipped the antennae again.
I howled. Marty knew what she was talking about but he tried to side step the issue. She finally told him to buzz off and leave her alone. She starts the conversation and then ends it if it doesn’t go the way she wants.
End of interruption for a little Kim history.
I entered the game, announced, “Time pot.”
Kim had her chips off the table and I ignored the fact that she didn’t ante or pay time.
She played the next hand and won it with trip 10’s. It was the last hand she won during my down. She had a little ‘stress ball’ in one hand that she picked up every now and then and squeezed it’s guts out. Once she did the fake throw at my chest with it, stopped before she released it. I laughed and told her I was so good I would’ve caught it before it hit me.
She thought that was funny. A few hands later, she picked it up again and did the same thing, only with the announcement, “I kill you.”
I said, “No way. I’m a grandmother. You can’t kill a grandmother.”
Some of the players started laughing. She broke down and smiled…her eyes were snapping like she was going to have a ’tilt attack’ though.
A few minutes later, out of the blue, she said, “I love your lipstick. What kind is it?”
I told her I’d tell her later. She left that alone and grumbled a few times about what a terrible dealer I was when she looked at her cards.
I got pushed.
An hour later, I got the magic reroute which put me in her game again about three hours after my first run through there.
By now she was in her own seat, no longer playing over, and only three of the original players were in the game.
The 1s was Karate Don, 2s – Marty S., 3s – Sockeye John, 4s – Barb, a player from NJ that comes in two or three times a year, 5s – Kim, 6s – Rod P, 7s – Bruce, 8s – stranger.
While I was waiting, Sylvia was finishing the deal of her last hand. Barb made a flush, Bruce made a bigger flush but he started with rolled up deuces. It was 3-way action on the River and Bruce won it. He said, “I started with rolled up deuces but I had to make a flush to win.”
Barb thought she won the pot, even though Bruce showed a Queen high flush and Barb had a Jack high flush. When Sylvia took Barb’s hand and pushed the pot to Bruce, Barb went nuts, “What are you doing?”
Everyone, except Kim, explained to Barb that her flush was only Jack high. Sylvia finished the hand and left, I sat down.
Kim bit into Bruce about the way he stated his hand and she kept nattering him. She was on Barb’s side even though Barb didn’t have a side.
Karate Don was walking and I gave him his 2nd White button.
Kim immediately jumped on that one, “Linda, make sure he gets picked up in 15 minutes,” she tapped her watch.
Bruce said Don had lost his wallet and had gone to Security so he might need a little longer.
Kim was adamant, again telling me to be sure he got picked up in 15 minutes.
In the meantime, Marty S. was bitching that he was stuck because Eric beat him in every hand and Eric never wins so something was wrong, Barb was reeling from the ‘flush’ hand, Kim was wheedling and digging, Bruce was still trying to defend Don’s absence, the 8s seat was showing me his cards and talking about what he needed or why he didn’t call a raise, and yes…I was still dealing.
Our supervisor, Kamell, walked by the table and Kim called him over and told him she wanted Don picked up in 15 minutes, more explanations and conversation and Kamell told me Don would be allowed three White buttons.
Marty and Rod took a walk. Don came back and picked up his chips. By now there was a ‘must move’ game into our game. When Don left, Sockeye moved over into the 1s and our player from the ‘must move’ game came over, his name is Larry. He took the 3s, took his chips out of the rack, smiling and in good humor, he made an entrance into the game from hell.
Kim was the opener with a 4, she caught 4, 4, to show trips on top, after she faded all kinds of bets and raises, against Barb. Barb looked at me and gave me the, “Deal me out as long as you’re here, Linda.”
I said, “Ok!” and flipped a yellow button in front of her chip stack.
Kim barely went to 5th street in a few more hands before she was sending me the hate popping eyes and mouthing, ‘You fucker!’ at me. I just gave her the chiding, “Kim….”
She glared the other way.
The next hand, she slammed her chips down with a big CRACK/POP as she flipped her three cards into the muck.
Larry had a wide smile when he asked Kim, “Are you mad?”
She smashed her chips down again and glared at me. I laughed and said, “She’s not mad at me…she’s my sister.”
She barked, “NO!”
I barked, “YES!”
She toned it down for a bit then. Oh yes, she was ready to bite but she wasn’t going to bite me and I knew it.
I was dealing my last hand when the real show began. Larry and Kim went to war. She ended up all-in on 6th street when she called $50 of an $80 bet with five $10 Chips. She had three $5 chips in front of her and I forced her to put two of them in to make it $60. Anything in increments of $10 plays.
Barb jumped in, “Can I ask a question here?” She was looking at me.
Larry said, “Wait until the hand is over.”
Barb mumbled and then spit it right out, “She’s been putting bills in her pocket all night, how can she be all-in now?”
Kim yelled at Barb, “You just SHUT UP!”
Larry turned his hand up in exasperation and said, “You win!”
He had a pair of Aces and he was right, Kim did win with Kings and 4’s.
Barb and Kim started a yelling war, with Kim telling Barb to “SHUT UP AND STAY OUT OF IT!”
I immediately called Kamell. While I explained to Kamell what had been said, Larry started slamming his chips in a rack to exit.
Sockeye asked Larry, “What are you leaving for? The show’s about to begin!”
Barb had a fit, telling Kamell that Kim had gone to the bathroom and taken over $2,000 off the table in bills and when she came back, even though Barb asked her, Kim did not put them back on the table.
Kim said that was ‘bullshit’, that she had put all of it back on and had lost it and Barb didn’t know what was happening.
But each time Kim started to try to out yell Barb, Barb jumped in, and so it went, back and forth.
I was trying to leave the dealer’s box and let the new dealer come in but Kamell was up against the back of my chair trying to calm down the ‘ladies’.
He finally said to Barb, “I’m done with you right now. I’ve listened to you and I don’t want to hear you say another word. I want to listen to Kim.”
Even after that statement from Kamell, Barb still tried to interrupt when Kim was talking. Kim got in a shot that Barb was just trying to cause trouble about the $100’s and Kamell patiently explained that it wasn’t Barb, it was a house rule.
Finally peace settled in, Kamell asked me if any of it had happened while I was dealing, (the rat holing), and I said “No. It would have happened before I got here.”
Kim was fuming at Barb. I escaped, right into the Must Move $40-$80 but it was calm and easy there, just some guys that wanted to play poker…my favorite kind.